Thursday, September 16, 2010
Okay, I want to preface this show of pictures by saying that it really took a lot to have my husband take these pictures. One, because I felt SO revealed...so naked, and I do such a good job of hiding my body....and because I feel skinnier than I look. My inside does NOT match my outside.... But, hey...there's a point to posting before pictures. I just wish I had done this at 280 rather than at 169!
So, here goes:
Just for fun...
Now you can see just how much damage by weighing so much and then gaining so much during pregnancy did to my stomach!!! Not gonna lie, I'm cringing right now.
Okay, so who is my villain? Here she is:
Ursula...When I look in the mirror, she looks back at me and says "You won't succeed. You will fail. You'll gain all the weight back. You'll never be beautiful, you'll never be happy! You NEED all that yummy food. You want to eat until your heart is content. Forget the tears of shame and pain. YOU NEED ME."
Yes, I know I am using the villain here loosely and putting my own spin on her, but my biggest villain is myself. My own critical, negative, put down-y self. I have proven to you and myself that I am definitely my own worst critic, and I have the tendency to put myself down when I really shouldn't be, as if I am setting myself up to fail rather than achieve my dreams.
Right here is a picture of my motivation:
Kaylee is the light of my life, and I would do anything for her. Anything. This journey? Started because I knew I wanted to live past 50 to see her grow up, get her license, go to prom/homecoming, graduate, go to college, graduate, get married, have children...maybe not all in that order. You get the idea ;o}
And I want her to be healthy. I want HER to live a long, happy, healthy, meaningful life, and I want to be a role model for her.
So, that all being said, this WTF challenge (along with the 10 pounds lost by 10/10/10 and the Periwinkle Biggest Loser challenges):
I will reach my goal weight of 155 pounds.
I can run my first half marathon!
I will register for my first full marathon in May 2011!!
I will look in the mirror and see me, beautiful happy me...
I will live my life the way it is supposed to be lived, truly enjoying and embracing every moment.
I will be there for those around me, my friends, family, and you!
I will maybe lose a few battles, but I will win the war!! I will not lay down and die in this journey.
Now, off to do my crunches before bedtime!
Love you all!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I know some of you feel this way! This morning, I did wake up at 4:15 to go on my 7-mile run, but as I came out of the bathroom, I remembered that tomorrow I am running in an 8K race. A lot of my fellow gym-goers and also people from the running group I attend are also racing, so I know that I will be pushing myself and will be walking minimally (only at drink stations I am hoping).
Because of that, and also because I also realized that I haven't taken a day off since Sunday and won't be taking another day off until sometime next week (probably Thursday), that I better put that 7-mile run on hold and take a day off.
Ugh, but I HATE DAYS OFF! I went into my fitness tracker this morning, and I added my usual 2 miles that I walk with my dog on my breaks, but that is all I could add...I love the feeling of accomplishing my runs or my other workouts and the mileage.
I know my muscles, and especially my legs, need to recover and they need the rest, but I sure am not going to like it! Okay, I did like the extra 2-1/2 hours of sleep. I liked that a lot. But right now? Nuh-uh. I am thinking of the fact that I really have to watch my intake today because of the lesser calories burned.
Moving on....I had my daughter until 10 a.m. today as my daycare lady needed to go to the chiropractor. So, ended up going to the grocery store I used to work at (and my husband still works at). I never go in the daytime, always in the evening, so I ran into a few people I used to work with. Amongst the hugs, I got a lot of comments, such as "Look at YOU, skinny!" and "How in the world did you get so skinny?!" and "What pills have you been taking, and where can I get them???" Hehe, the last one was said with humor, so I wasn't offended ;o}
It was certainly fun but disconcerting to have so much attention paid to me. I am really not used to it. The last time I went in to that store at that time of day, I had barely a hello, but of course my daughter got lots of attention (and she loves it!!). She still got a lot of attention today, as she is my princess and acts like one, but it was weird to have 50-50 split attention between us rather than 95-5. I will have to get used to it! I really am not complaining, I just feel awkward when I get attention of any kind!
So, planning on going to the French Fry Feed after work with my mom and daughter (my mom really wants to go). I am planning on NOT having the french fries, but will eat some fruit before going. I am planning on making chicken and mashed potatoes with veggies for supper.
Tomorrow is the Potato Bowl 8K, like I mentioned above, and I am excited as it is my first race above the 5K mark! I was supposed to do a 10K last month, but I was injured and so had to back out.
The day after tomorrow is the Potato Bowl Parade, which is a pretty darned big parade, and I am going to be on or next to the Weight Watchers float ;o} I am looking forward to it! I hope I am walking next to it as that will be good for steps, and will warm me up to the 8-mile run I have to do later that day! But I would be smarter to run that 8 miles BEFORE the Potato Bowl so I can't talk myself out of it later ;o}
Until later, Friends!
ETA: I would like to finish the 8K under 1 hour, and I would be SERIOUSLY happy with 50 minutes or less.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Oh, I was more than a bit miffed at myself when I glanced at the alarm clock next to my husband and it says....6:30!!!
My alarm is on my phone, and I have it go off at 5:10 a.m. so I have enough time to snooze once, then get ready, eat a banana, and head off to the gym for my 5:40 spin class.
Apparently, the previous morning I had turned it off because it was my day off from the gym (I was planning on running 3-4 miles last evening with the running group).
Well, forgot to turn that bugger back on! I hate that! I signed up for 6 weeks of Monday and Wednesday spin, and just feel accountable for it.
So, I fell back asleep (may as well; daughter wakes up at 6:45 anyway). Got up at that time with her, she ate breakfast, as did I (Lucky Charms, yum yum), and after I brought her to daycare I went to work! I was feeling motivated to do SOMETHING, and since I knew my husband was working 8 a.m. until midnight (high school teacher and then working at the local grocery store) I knew that anything after 5 p.m. was off limits for working out since I had to watch my daughter.
So, I decided to do my 4-mile fartlek on my lunch hour at the gym on the "dreadmill." For any who don't know what that is, according to my half marathon training, it has me doing this:
1. Warm up brisk walk for 5 minutes.
2. Hard run for 1 to 1.5 miles at 8 to 10 mph (I stuck around 9 mph).
3. Brisk walk for 5 minutes.
4. Easy run (6 mph) with sprints of 1/8 mile each mixed in for however many miles you want (I did 1.5 miles of this).
5. Hill running at incline at 6.0 mph (UFFDA) for 1/2 mile.
6. Easy run until 4 miles total reached.
7. Cool down walk and stretch.
OMG. I didn't realize just how hard that would be until I started the hard run of 9 mph. Holy moly. My shins are just dead now! I have been battling shin splints for a couple of weeks....
I did run the full 4 miles for a total of 4.10 miles at 39 minutes. I was surprised I did this well given how much walking I was doing, though I sure needed those walks!
So, back home for a quickie shower and back to work. Walked the dog on my breaks for a total of 2 miles. Spent the evening with my precious little girl, went grocery shopping, then went to Target and bought a new pair of yoga-style pants to wear running outside now that it is about 45-50 degrees at 4:30 in the morning!
Put daughter down at 8:20, then started my strength training that I had missed this morning in class. That ended up taking me 40 minutes as I added in some extras (I did rows, chest press, flies, push-ups, supermans, a gazillion different type of crunches, ovals, arnolds, bicep curls, etc.etc.). I am now pooped, and need to get to bed!
My plans for the morning are to get up at 4:15 and be out the door by 4:30, for a total of 7 miles to run. I don't have an MP3 player (it was lost/stolen at my last 5K), but I ordered a new one on Amazon for cheaper than if I got it at Target. It's okay, though....I hope to just be able to focus and push through it. I will have my handy-dandy pepper spray on along with my CamelBak hydration system. I should be set to go! I just hope my shin splints don't KILL me. I plan on an out and back, as that will really be what gets me finishing up 7 miles. I just can't do the dreadmill again...not only is it SO boring, and I feel like I am going nowhere, but also I should be training outside!
Until tomorrow, fellow Sparkies!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
While I was walking my dog just a bit ago, I was thinking about things...about how I am feeling now and things I am observing at a near-normal weight compared to when I was in the class III obesity range:
~ My jeans are actually lasting a lot longer than they usually do as my thighs are no longer rubbing together.
~ Shopping is SO much more enjoyable now, and easier to do...I no longer have to search for the plus-size section in the store, if there was any, and no longer have to leave the mall near or in tears.
~ Sitting in a smaller seat (i.e. airplane seat, theater seat, etc.)? No problem.
~ At the Renaissance Festival this year, I saw a catapult thing where you are strapped in a harness and jump super high in the air and do flips. Normally, I would be walking right by...but this time I stopped. The sign said "Highest weight allowed 180 pounds." In the past, I would have been enraged, or ashamed, or both. This time? I could have done it! I didn't....but I had the opportunity.
~ When I look in the mirror, I can look below my neck and not cringe ;o}
~ I sleep much better now...When I was about 280, parts of my body (mainly legs and arms) would go numb when lying on my side. When lying on my back, I couldn't breathe right. Forget lying on my stomach.
~ I remember at the gym, when I was about 240, I saw this woman running on the treadmill. I was envious...I was even more envious when after my 30-minute workout on the elliptical machine, she was STILL running. I couldn't IMAGINE running for that period of time. Now? I CAN.
~ I remember watching Tara of the Biggest Loser finish a marathon. I remember Michael of this last season's Biggest Loser finish a marathon. That is what started me thinking..."why can't I?" And I will. I know I can.
~ I see veins in my hands. Who knew? Turns out I wasn't a "hard stick"....just a "fat stick".
~ Thinking of wearing a swimsuit no longer gives me heart palpitations.
~ Thinking of dressing up for Halloween doesn't have me rolling my eyes.
~ I no longer worry if the chair I am sitting on will crack in half.
~ I no longer worry I am crushing my husband if I jump on him (hey...get your mind out of the gutters...I am talking about playfully wrestling!! ;o}).
~ Dresses are now a YAY!!! Instead of a NAYYYYYYYYYY.
~ Heels? They actually make my legs look good now rather than highlighting how big they were. I have CALVES! (thank you, running).
I am sure I can think of TONS more, but I have to get back to work at SOME point ;o}
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
~*~ WTF??? Entry Card- Template for 9/15-9/19 ~*~
NOTE: I will be adding the rest of my measurements and also today's pictures of me this evening***
Starting Weight: 173
Measure your Waist - ***will measure later with better tape measure***
Measure your Hips - ***ditto***
Measure your Thigh - 22.5
Measure your Calf - 16
Measure your Upper Arm - 12.5
Measure your Boobies - 38
Current BMI: 27.1
During this challenge, I have a general goal of getting into a size 8 pair of jeans, losing inches in my waist/belly area, and reaching my goal weight of 155.
My biggest challenge will undoubtedly be balancing working out and eating. The more I work out, the worse I am tending to eat.
My nutrition goals for the next 10 weeks will be focused on working on portion control, eating more fruits and veggies, chicken/fish, and less red meat and sugars. Keeping my calorie range between 1200 and 1555 with as few days as possible going under or over.
My cardio goals for the next 10 weeks will be focused on endurance and speed while running, pushing harder while spinning, increasing intensity on the elliptical.
My strength training goals for the next 10 weeks will be focused on overall core strength, which is still my weakest area of my body.
My rest and flexibility goals for the next 10 weeks will be focused on taking 1-2 days off consistently from running/ST/gym, but not more than that. Definitely work on stretching my calves properly as well as my quads!
PART ONE - DIET & EXERCISE
Between now and 9/19, I am going to run today with the runners group, run an 8K on Friday, and do my long run on Saturday or Sunday. Yesterday I did my ST session, and will do so again tomorrow and Friday. I will spin tomorrow, as I did yesterday. I will take either Saturday or Sunday off.
Between now and 9/19, I am not going to eat mindlessly. I WILL BE AWARE AND TRACK EVERY BITE, LICK, AND TASTE!
These 3 excuses will be unusable for the duration of this template:
I DON'T WANT TO GET UP.
I'M TOO BUSY!
***BONUS CHALLENGE- ADD UP HOW MANY CALORIES YOU *DRINK* THIS WEEK! (NON ALCOHOLIC AND ALCOHOLIC ALIKE!)
You can motivate me by reminding me of my first half marathon coming up, and my 30th birthday coming all too soon in November! Also, I like Yoovie's answer about telling me about how YOU are kicking butt. I love reading about other Sparkie's accomplishments and motivation.
PART TWO - THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
This week, take the time to do one of the following just for yourself.
A. complete a fun project
B. start a fun project
C. brainstorm ideas for something you can do just for yourself over the winter, something that will take a semi-long time to complete. - Like make your own new bag, or put together a family photo album, or redecorate a room, or start a journal, or make a quilt, etc
D. Make a list of things you loved as a child but have not done or participated in for a very long time. See which ones you can incorporate into your grownup life.
Practice setting time aside for yourself, either every day or once a week, and allow yourself to be selfish for a little while, and recharge, so you can better handle the rest of your life and be better for your family or job and friends.
I am SO ready to rock this challenge (which will benefit my other challenges I am participating in!!) Let's do this together!!!
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