ERINBEAR1876   27,451
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My story (pics included before/after so far)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Another Spark friend (MOVINITMORE) inspired me to write a bit of my story, and since I am hyped up on caffeine and the baby is asleep, I figured why not tonight? I'll TRY not to turn it into a novel. emoticon

I have been overweight since I hit puberty. I was a swimmer when I was young, but when puberty hit, that summer exercise just wasn't enough, and combined with my mama's cookin (and the mentality of eating everything on your plate) I started ballooning. I was about 160 when I was 13, 170 when I was 16, and at age 18 I was 180. When I met my husband, I was about 180 (at 19). I worked at many fast food restaurants, which didn't help. I was active, but not REALLY active (I would play tennis here and there). But, I never really tried to lose weight. I would WANT to try, but would never just DO it.

Over the span of 5 years, I gained 50 pounds, and weighed 230 pounds at the age of 24. I was so embarrassed, and was really clingy to my husband as I was so very insecure. We had been putting off having a family because of my intention to go back to school. I had gone back at age 22, but because of a new addiction acquired during that time (gambling), I had to drop out and we had to move off campus. I have an addictive personality. I am addicted to smoking, eating, and gambling. I have not gambled since February 26, 2004. I have not smoked since October 2, 2006. And now for the past year or so I have been working on my final addiction, overeating. I have slips here and there (mostly recently).

Back on track. I was supposed to go back to school (I am planning on going into pre-Pharmacy and then go to pharmacy school 90 miles south of where we live). Then, my mother-in-law died at the age of 50 unexpectedly in August 2007. That hit us hard, and so then my husband decided one day (I wish I could remember the day, but it was in August 2008 around the anniversary of his mother's death) that we should start our family, and that he wanted to be a daddy. I had been waiting for him to come to that decision as I had been ready for a while. I found out on Halloween of 2008 that I was pregnant, at 240 pounds.

I tried so hard to be good during my pregnancy. I was good at first, only gaining 10 pounds in the first half of the pregnancy. Then? All hell broke loose on my eating habits. I was very inactive to begin with, and the cravings just hit me SO hard, and I started giving in to them as long as they weren't harmful to the baby (so I still didn't have artificial sweeteners, but I did allow myself a can of Coke a day with 35 mg of caffeine). Doritos, Tootsie Rolls, and Spaghettios that were BURNING hot were at the top of my list. That, and Domino's Pasta Bowls (oh Lord the calories I later found out in those were horrendous).

I ended up gaining 66 pounds total in my pregnancy, weighing 306 pounds the week before I gave birth. I spent 27 hours in labor, and pushed for 4 (Yes, FOUR) hours and gave birth to my beautiful Kaylee Cynthia, who weighed in at 10 lbs 0.4 oz.

One week after giving birth, I was down to 286 pounds. In the next month, I got down to 261 pounds. Most of that was because of nursing, eating VERY healthy food, and well, let's face it....when you have a newborn you just don't have TIME or ENERGY.

I spent the next month at that weight, though, which prompted me to join Weight Watchers in September 2009 at 261 pounds. In October, I signed up for my first 5K in May 2010 in Fargo, and I joined the gym in January 2010.

I joined SP on April 9, 2010. Since then I have really taken off! You all have challenged, inspired, encouraged, motivated, supported, and really just have been there for me!

My first 5K went okay, considering I didn't train for it. I worked out, sure, but didn't run really at all but for a trial run the week before the race. I finished that 5K at 36:49, which wasn't bad!

Since that 5K, I have become addicted to running (pun?...not sure). I signed up for every 5K I could, and signed up for my first half marathon, which takes place on October 9 in Fargo (eek!). I have another 5K tomorrow, an 8K next Friday, and am definitely registering for my first full marathon in May 2011 in Fargo (can you tell I love Fargo races?).

But, I have come so far from last year, and the years before that. My baseline weight over these past 5 or so years was 230-240, and I started my journey at 286. I now weigh about 171 pounds (I am 5'7"). My ultimate goal is about 155, which I know I can accomplish. With the proper motivation, focus, drive, determination, what have you, I know I can get there! My first blog talks about how my goal is to be at my goal weight before my 30th birthday (November 14) and I know I can still do it! 16 pounds? Why not!?

Here are the pictures of me before:

The month before I got pregnant (September 2008):

The day before giving birth to Kaylee (yes, I know, I'm pregnant...July 2009):

Me at about 261 before joining WW:

Here are some recent photos of me:

Not a great shot...Apparently I need to get someone to take pictures of me LOL:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLEEPYDEAN 9/17/2010 7:45PM

    You have accomplished a lot this year! You did great in your first 5K. I have run dozens of them, but it is not until I joined SP (close to when you joined in April) and was surrounded by a great community of runners that I actually started making fitness a regular habit. I now have a 5K PR of 34:20. I'm not fast, but I love to run. I'll be running my first half marathon on your birthday.

Best wishes as you continue on this great journey!

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MSILVER94 9/15/2010 9:16AM

    Wow! Congrats!!! And yes you can meet your goal by your birthday and if you don't, we are all still very impressed!

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MADEMCHE 9/15/2010 8:35AM

    You are doing great Erin! You are such an inspiration!

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VANILLAMAMA 9/15/2010 8:18AM

    I am just getting into running. I love it. I used to hate it. I am going to sign up for my first 5k this winter. Good luck in your marathons.

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SPRINGHAZE 9/14/2010 8:50PM

    giiiiiiiirl you look amazing! keep up the great work and drive!

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RAVENSONG37 9/14/2010 8:36PM

    You are doing so amazing!! I'm so proud of you!

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CYNDER 9/14/2010 9:53AM

    How amazing and inspiring (and I can see a few similarities between us, from the same starting weight to the same name for our 2008 baby girls emoticon

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MOVINITMORE 9/14/2010 9:06AM

    Thanks for sharing your story. I loved looking at your pictures!! You look amazing my favorite is the one of you and your husband so very happy. Your daughter is just the cutest. I wished you lived close by so we could run. But I am in Florida so whenever you travel this way you have to tell me so we can plan something.

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ROOT4HOME 9/12/2010 10:58PM

    Congratulations on your wt loss and new found love for running/races!! You look so happy! WTG on your 1st HM and marathon (next yr)!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STRIVE4BALANCE1 9/12/2010 9:40PM

    Thank you Thank you Thank you for sharing! Your story is so inspirational. Knowing you have an addictive personality and recognizing overaeating as an addiction is a very powerful step. Knowing you have overcome other addictions is even mnore powerful!

Way to go Erinbear! Keep up the good work and the running!

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RLHOTAN 9/12/2010 8:20PM

    You are doing such a great job. You should be so proud!! I know I am proud of all you have learned and accomplished!! You go, girl!

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RAINBOWANGEL99 9/12/2010 5:59PM

    WOW! emoticon on all your accomplishments so far! Your story is very inspiring - thanks for sharing it. Good Luck with the rest of your journey! emoticon

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TUBJUMPER 9/12/2010 5:57PM

    Holy Moly!!! Great Job!! You are kicking a**. Thank you sooooo much for writing some of your story.

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13-1GIRL 9/12/2010 5:53PM

    WOW!! Way to go! I loved the blog!! So PROUD for you!! I am motivated by your SUCCESS!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCESSNURSE 9/12/2010 5:19PM

    You are a real inspiration!!! Congrats on your amazing success!

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SHAWFAN 9/12/2010 5:12PM

    You look FANTASTIC!! Congrats on your success! You'll definiately make it to your goal with your positive attitude! Thank you for sharing your story. emoticon

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MADDEELOU 9/12/2010 4:59PM

    Look at that smile in the last photo. That really says it all. You are beautiful inside and out and you radiate happiness and health. What an inspiration. And you are an incredible role model for your daughter.

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MENHALLS 9/12/2010 3:48PM

    You look awesome! What a great success story! Keep it up.

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SWEETZMIX 9/12/2010 2:45PM

    You look great & I know you will reach your goal!! I loved hearing your story, even though it's not complete!

Take care!

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    Wow, what a story! Thanks for sharing it. You've really done well and you look great. Major props to you for kicking your addictions to the curb. I've never dealt with additction personally, but I helped my husband kick his with alcohol. You are really inspirational. Your daughter will be lucky to have you as her mother... you will be an excellent role model. :)

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SUNNY2010 9/12/2010 1:36PM

    Erin, I am having tears reading your blog......
I am speechless about your attitude and determination!
And what a supportive husband you have too! For always loving you for your heart and soul, he gets to have a hot babe now!!!! You look fantastic!!! emoticon

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TANNERS 9/12/2010 12:34PM

    My favorite thing about you (and there are many that I like) is your attitude. You are so real and honest. I'm so proud of how far you have come, and can't even imagine how you must feel! Keep up the awesome work!!

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LEAG0628 9/12/2010 12:29PM

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have come a looong way, girl, and look totally amazing!!

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BURGHGIRL 9/12/2010 11:58AM

    Thanks for sharing your story! Inspirational!!!!

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-POOKIE- 9/12/2010 11:23AM

    You look wonderful.. your smiles are so bright!

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POOKAQUEEN 9/12/2010 8:00AM

    So inspiring! Congrats on all your successes and thank you for sharing!

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BRENDY_28 9/12/2010 6:01AM

    thank you for sharing your story. you look fantastic! what an inspiration!

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 9/12/2010 12:49AM

    OMGosh, you look so freaking FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! I love the story, and the success!!! I've never been a gambler, but I've been a smoker...and kudos to YOU!!! (I quit doesn't mix well with cardio lol). Great job girl, thanks for sharing!!

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HHI0901 9/12/2010 12:45AM

    What a difference!! I was just looking through your pics earlier today and am SO SO SO impressed!! Keep it up!

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 9/12/2010 12:02AM

  Inspiring! Thank you for sharing with us. I know you will hit that next goal. Good luck on the races!

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BLEIGH711 9/11/2010 11:36PM

    Thanks for sharing this. You look amazing. And your story really touched me. I am currently battling my addiction to smoking. For some reason I can do fine during the week...but then friday at 5pm I leave work and stop to buy a pack a cigarettes. I dont even think i like them, but I just keep smoking them. I also really want to do a 5k. I am planning to restart the couch to 5k program to get on track. I wish you the very best.

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2BEATIT1 9/11/2010 11:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I am so pround of you for what you have accomplish.
Way to go! You have inspired me.
Bless you

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APIRLRAIN888 9/11/2010 11:19PM


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IWILLTRANSFORM 9/11/2010 11:17PM

    Amazing transformation. Keep up the great work.

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PORTIA31982 9/11/2010 11:15PM

    You look great!

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5K Race Report (Pics)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the Team Hope 5K. This 5K was for supporting those affected by Huntington's disease. A friend asked me to participate as her cousin has this illness, and was planning on walking with/for her. Of course, I said I would!

I got there at 9 a.m. to register and pick up my bib (there wasn't really a packet). I then picked up my shirt. The smallest size was a large, which surprised me, but I don't really get the shirt for wearing, mainly to collect, so I was just happy to get one!

I then headed to the farmer's market to pick up some veggies, which didn't take long. My husband dropped me back off at the park where the race was going to start. I found my friend and talked with her for a bit, and then ran into a couple of girls I graduated high school with. One of them said she thought I looked familiar and was shocked that it was me, and that I looked "f***ing fantastic!!!!" (her works, so sorry about the swearing!!!

About 10 minutes later, we were told to head over to the start line, and that the runners needed to head to the front, with the walkers in back. I ended up in the front of the line, which really made me nervous, but oh well!

It was a smaller gathering, so one guy had the stopwatch, and another had a whistle. There was a pacer with a cyclist ahead of us so we would know when to turn around. The guy blew the whistle, and we were off!

I started out at a much faster pace than I knew I should have. I kept that pace up for the first half mile and then backed off a bit. About 5 people had already passed me, but I was competing against myself, not them, so I was cool with that! Besides, that is what happens when you go in the front of the group and are NOT that fast of a runner.

I kept a steady pace going, and quickly realized I had run this route before. Just as quickly, I remembered that it had hills and then a very open area where if it is just a BIT windy, it can be brutal. And today was a cold (55 degrees) and very windy day. Oh, well! I knew I would still give it my all, as I do with all races!

I knew that at least 2 girls in my age group were ahead of me, so I didn't think much about getting 3rd place and getting a medal. So, my goal was to beat my last best time of 30:19 and my ULTIMATE goal was to finally get a sub-30 and FINALLY get in the 20s! I knew that would be tough with the tougher terrain, but so be it!

It seemed to be FOREVER and a day to reach the turnaround, where there was a water station. There wasn't much water in the glass, but I knew it would be enough. On the way back, I felt much stronger and much more settled in my pace. I passed 3 of the girls who had been ahead of me on the first half, and just behind another girl.

So there it was, in the last half mile of the 5K. The hill. I knew that the girl ahead of me tended to walk up these hills (which is how I caught up with her in the first place) so I was hoping she was doing that again. I hate hoping to pass someone, but even though I am competing against myself....well, I feel good being ABLE to pass someone who looks to be in the best shape of their lives!

She didn't walk the hill. She ran it. And so did I! :o} I still felt good, and I knew I had enough in me to finish out strong with a sprint. Once we hit the last curve, I pulled out ahead of the girl in front of me and just took off! I started going even faster when I saw my husband and daughter waiting at the finish line for me!! That was worth everything...I didn't even care what my time was. But then, when I crossed the line, I heard the guy with the stop watch yell, "29:15!!" WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!! I started crying...I can't believe I did that. That was such an accomplishment for me. Me, the woman who had let herself get to 300 pounds....who couldn't walk very far or very fast. Who had no motivation. Hated herself and what she looked like. Now....I am running 5K's, am 170-ish, and love who I am and what I look like...Most of the time.

Oh, and also? I found out later from my friend that I got third place in my age division (20-29) and that my medal is being sent to me!!! My daughter had to go down for a nap and I figured there was no way I had placed, so I left not too long after I finished.

I got my hubby to take a couple of pictures, so here they are!!

P.S. The Bondi Band on my forehead?? It ROCKS!!!!! I didn't have ONE trickle of sweat fall into my eyes, and that was GLORIOUS!!!

P.P.S. Someone called just now to tell me that I was shown running on our local news channel. I may just have to record the 10 o'clock news and hope they show it again!

Later, gators!!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOVINITMORE 9/14/2010 1:20PM

    YOU ROCK IT!!! emoticon emoticon

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TUBJUMPER 9/12/2010 6:01PM

    Congrats!!! Wonderful Job!! Keep up the good work!!

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BRENDY_28 9/12/2010 6:24AM

    omg! congrats! you really are my motivator! i did a 5K this morning. it was a flat terrain. but i clocked in at 38 mins. i will aim for a sub-30 in 2 months :D

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JREA24 9/12/2010 6:12AM

    Good for you! Outstanding.

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BLEIGH711 9/11/2010 11:48PM

    This is amazing. Good for you!

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JUST_SIMONE 9/11/2010 11:11PM

    Congratulations! It sounds like a great race! I can't wait for my first 5K next month. emoticon

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RAINEMARIE214 9/11/2010 10:38PM

    Congrats!! You had an amazing race!!!

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MADDEELOU 9/11/2010 9:37PM

    Wow!! What an awesome race! I am so proud of you. You totally rock!

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KILTGUY 9/11/2010 9:12PM

    Awesome job! I wish we'd had that kind of weather in Florida today. Keep up the great work!!!!

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POOKAQUEEN 9/11/2010 9:02PM

    Congrats! That is so awesome! You are a wonderful inspiration!

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SROUS1340 9/11/2010 8:31PM

    You rock Erin!!! So many congrats on what you are accomplishing! emoticon

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JMEPAYNE 9/11/2010 8:23PM

    a huge congrats to you!!! i participated in my first 5k this morning in chicago in the rain and wind with a cold and bad cough! lol
your time is amazing!!! such an inspiration! :) emoticon emoticon

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Emotional eating....5K tomorrow and long run.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I am feeling much better today and am planning on running the Team Hope 5K for Huntington's disease in the morning. Based on advice given, I am going to attempt running 7 miles after the 5K to total 10 miles, which is my long run this week. It is imperative for me to get on track and stay on track with my training. I want my first HM to be....not as painful as it can be LOL.

My eating...not great today. I was almost in an accident this evening on a busy street with my daughter in the car, and the only reason I wasn't hit was because I decided at the last minute to stay in the lane I was in, and 30 seconds later a car rear-ended the van in front of it in the lane next to me.....where I would have been if I had gone through with changing lanes. That car was going 40 mph. The driver of both cars were taken to the hospital in stretchers.

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown this evening when I came to the realization of how close we came to me and/or my daughter being seriously injured tonight. I ended up pigging out on chips and salsa. Granted they were baked chips, and I ate less of them than I would have in the past, but I stepped on the scale afterward (stupid me) and was up 5 pounds. Ugh. I know better than this!

I think I really just need to get back in the routine of things. I have been "off kilter" since we went to Minneapolis last weekend. I need to refocus and get my head back in the game before I do some real damage to my weight loss!!! It is amazing what being thrown off my routine can do to me. It is as though a part of me said screw the healthy eating habits I have worked so hard on and just go ahead and eat w/o tracking, and keep eating until you're stuffed. I again talked to my husband on the phone tonight (he's at work) and I admitted to him about the emotional eating and the fact that I still feel like I am not doing well nutrition-wise. He is very supportive and will push me to do the right thing ;o}

Another thing I really, really, REALLY need to work on is getting to bed at a decent time! One of the reasons I was able to eat so much this evening is I stayed up after putting my daughter to bed, and watched 3 episodes of ANTM re-runs while mindlessly stuffing my face. And I think I am dehydrated. My mouth feels dry right now. I need to drink some water before going to bed.

Well, now my rambling thoughts are laid out here. It always makes me feel better to put down on here what I am doing, how I am doing, how I am forces me to own it and actually face it, analyze it, and take from it what I need to accomplish my goals.

G'night all, and here's hoping for, wishing for, a sub-30 5K! I know that probably won't happen yet, but I can hope ;o} I will make sure I have SOME pics taken, especially in my new Bondi Band!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILIKECACTI 9/11/2010 3:18PM

    I'm so glad that you were not in that accident! Hey... on the bright side of emotional eating... you're making wiser choices and eating less :)

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MADDEELOU 9/11/2010 10:49AM

    So glad you weren't hurt. That is very scary. Don't beat yourself up about the chips. You were just carbo-loading for your race and long run.

Hope you have a fabulous race/run and a great weekend, too.


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RAINEMARIE214 9/11/2010 10:41AM

    I am glad that you and your daughter are ok!!

Good luck on your 5k followed by your 7 mile run! Have a great time!

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TANNERS 9/11/2010 10:35AM

    I think after we knowingly indulge ourselves.. the guilty isn't enough so we step on the scale for a little extra punishment. So you didn't have the best week ever.. big deal.. A few days of a little work and you will be right back on track!! Go Erin!!!

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BIGMAMAT 9/11/2010 10:02AM

    I am glad you are ok. I know what its like to vear off course. We all do. One step back, two steps forward! Have fun at your 5k! emoticon

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MOVINITMORE 9/11/2010 9:35AM

    I am glad your ok wow that was a close one. I think I would of had the chips and what ever else I could find. The most important thing is that you are realizing that this time is different and you keep striving for it. I really do thank all things happen for a reason. Sometimes we don't understand it but we grow from it. Wow I think I sounded like a shrink or something emoticon.

Can't wait to hear about your day. I am sure you will rock that 5k!! Hope you are having fun !!! emoticon

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BRENDY_28 9/11/2010 7:26AM

    you're so lucky! i guess it's the the shock... i'm glad you and your daughter are fine.

Good luck on the 5K :) I also have a 5K tomorrow :)

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 9/11/2010 1:14AM

    OMGosh!!!! Girl, you totally needed those chips...I would have enjoyed them too, life is too short! Don't beat yourself up over them, just consider them a celebration of NOT getting hit. Phew!!! Thank GOD!

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Quandary about long run this weekend....advice/help appreciated!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Hi everyone ~

My long run scheduled for Saturday is 10 miles. I really want to stay on track with my training, especially now that the countdown for my first HM is really ticking away (it is on October 9).

But, this Saturday I am signed up to run a 5K for Huntington's disease (and I am running with 2 friends, promised I'd be there).

On Sunday, I am running another 5K for breast cancer and running with a coworker/good friend and again really want to be there and run it.

Tomorrow, I am spinning and doing strength training. On Monday, I am spinning/strength training along with playing kickball that night.

So where in the WORLD am I going to fit this 10 miles??? I tried asking my husband this today, and he was as clueless as me.

Please help!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRENDY_28 9/11/2010 7:47AM

    good Lord! you have an intense work out everyday until Monday! you motivate me to exercise more. :) listen to your body. you have to be attuned to it. maybe you can split up the 10 miles. :)

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MOVINITMORE 9/10/2010 9:12AM

    Well I am no expert to this but I have seen what type of cardio that you can handle in a day so with that being said. If your body feels like it maybe try on the 5k days. I have seen people run before them to warm up. If it where me and my body felt good I think I would fit it in later that afternoon after one of the 5k's but I am not sure I would do the whole 10. Your endurance is definitely there. Most of all have fun with your friends on those 5k's!!!! emoticon

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KIMMAS82 9/10/2010 8:51AM

    I just did my first on 8/28. I stuck to the schedule as much as I could but did have to change some things up to accomadate life. It happens.

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FLYINGB16 9/10/2010 5:34AM

    I would split it up and run 5 miles each day either before or after the 5K. You could even run 2.5 before and after each 5 K to get your miles in. I can't believe you are running so much in such a short time. You are an inspiration!

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SWEETNSKINNY 9/9/2010 11:32PM

    I agree with it a possibility that you can fit mileage in before the 5k or later on in the day?? Otherwise, I would say to schedule the long run early next week. Just my 2 cents!

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WONDERJUL 9/9/2010 11:21PM

    Wow ! You have quite the schedule. Would it be possible to run maybe 5 miles before the 5K on Saturday to at least get a little more mileage in that day? Other option is don't worry about it--sounds like you are building your endurance with all that exercise and missing that 10 miles will be okay. Enjoy your weekend!

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BLC Periwinkle weigh-in, and goals for today

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Whew! That certainly WAS painful! I am up 4 pounds from last Tuesday. I do know that there is a lot of water retention this week, and I do know that my TOM is due VERY soon (actually tomorrow). Next week, as long as I stay focused, I should have a banging good week for a loss! I absolutely WILL stay positive and not have a cycle start of getting down on myself, eating more, exercising less, and overall just being negative and down in the dumps. I actually laughed this morning when I weighed in! My husband laughed, too....I think he just liked seeing me have a positive attitude about it all.

I did go spinning this morning and did 23.2 miles in 48 minutes. I completely rocked it! It was so much fun....

I had a banana this morning with 1 cup of green grapes, and am now having 3 small pancakes with my daughter :o}

I will check in more later with what I eat, but I plan on mowing the lawn, walking tons with my daughter, and cleaning the house!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TANNERS 9/9/2010 11:39AM

    Good job.. somedays we just all have to laugh at the scale!

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BRENDY_28 9/9/2010 5:38AM

    love the positive attitude :)

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JJNEWMAN 9/8/2010 9:06PM

    Great attitude! I really want to try spinning hopefully I can find the time soon sounds fun!

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RLHOTAN 9/8/2010 8:27PM

    GREAT state of mind! Great job on the spin class, too!!!

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 9/8/2010 7:57PM

  Good luck! Great attitude!

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LINDA emoticon

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DIXIECHIC60 9/8/2010 2:03PM

    Great attitude. We women know what Tom can do to us ;-) Stay away from salty or Chinese Food at least 3 days before next weeks weigh in and you should rock it!! Again, love the attitude!!!! emoticon

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ILIKECACTI 9/8/2010 1:43PM

    Here's to a great week with a great loss!

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MOVINITMORE 9/8/2010 12:32PM

    Erin, The weight will come off next week great way to keep positive you know how your body works but sometimes it's just hard when you want to see those numbers drop. I have never tried spinning the gym I go to doesn't offer classes. One day you make it sound so fun!!!!

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HALLORAN84 9/8/2010 9:19AM

    Every time I see someone talking about spinning it make me really want to try it. I'm going to make it a goal to try it before October!
Glad to see your positive attitude! It will take you a long way emoticon

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