ERINBEAR1876   27,451
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Outside Looking In (Perspective)

Friday, August 20, 2010

I read a lot of blogs today, and I noticed there were a lot of Sparkies today not noticing their progress, feeling discouraged, and feeling unmotivated, putting themselves down for a mistake, a splurge, a bad meal, not making it to the gym, not feeling like they did the best they could. Basically saying they weren't perfect.

After reading a lot of these, I realized something so important and so seemingly obvious: Those people...are me. We all have this happen to us, but it seems like we are so easily blinded by it.

It is so easy for me to put myself down, to feel the weight of my journey pressing on my shoulders and wondering how I can possibly keep going. But, if I was on the outside looking in, I am doing so well. I have come so far! I have accomplished so much. But, I am my own worst critic, and it seems easier to pick out my flaws than to look at the positives.

I learn something about myself every day. I also learn so much about everyone else when I read about their ups and downs. There were also a lot of blogs today about being grateful, and I need to make a point of doing that every morning to start out my day.

I absolutely CAN do anything I set my mind to. If I fail, I tried. I can't ask myself to do more than that!

If I can lose 116 pounds in 1 year...

If I can get up out of bed 5 days a week at 5 a.m. to go to the gym...

If I can be a fantastic mother and a loving wife, and love every minute of it...

If I can go from huffing and puffing while walking 1 block to running over an hour straight at a 6.0 mph pace...

If I can go back to college at 31 years of age...

Then I can do anything I want to do, and be proud of myself for accomplishing these things.

P.S. I'm sorry if this was all over the place...It is 11 p.m. and I definitely need to head off to bed!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRENDY_28 8/25/2010 12:47AM

    yeah... it's pretty easy to put ourselves down... we all need a boost of positivity :D we are all doing some sort of progress, but it's easier to focus on the negativity. perspective! :D

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SCRAPPYLADYV 8/23/2010 10:49AM

    It's true, we need to learn to feel the same compassion and support for ourselves as we do for others. No, we are not perfect all the time, but we are making progress and striving for our goals. And that is all that matters.

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FRANKLYN22 8/23/2010 8:18AM

    I like your positive attitude! emoticon

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JUST_SIMONE 8/22/2010 6:53PM

    Great blog. I'm one of those people beating myself up today. Thanks for the change of perspective!

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MADDEELOU 8/22/2010 6:19PM

    You can do anything....including write a great blog. Thanks for sharing, Erin! You rock!

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 8/22/2010 12:27PM

    Great attitude girlie, you're doing fabulously!

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ILIKECACTI 8/21/2010 1:13PM

    That is so so so true!! I'm trying to convert my way of thinking from only seeing the negative to gaining confidence in light of what I am doing now! It's a process :) Wonderful blog!

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RLHOTAN 8/21/2010 9:37AM

    It is always easier to see the negatives! But, you are right! We are all doing so well! Especially you! You have come so far and you progress every day (even on rest days!!!) Good for you!

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KATEM325 8/21/2010 9:33AM

    Great blog! Its sooo true!

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TANNERS 8/21/2010 9:28AM

    That's why I love blogs... it's so easy to see things through other people than it is to see them thru ourselves. Great blog. I think it is so easy to get caught up in the wrong that we miss all the right. Keep going.. you're doing awesome!!!

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POOKAQUEEN 8/21/2010 9:18AM

    Love this blog. You are right. You have made fantastic strides, and so has nearly everyone I run across on SP. It's easier to kick ourselves, than pat ourselves on the back sometimes. It's a huge step to be able to see it for what it is, and you are definitely on your way to better thinking!

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ROCKNBUTTERFLY 8/21/2010 12:45AM

    Thanks I was just sitting here beating myself up... prog. pics tomorrow and freaking out that I didnt push hard enough or eat just perfect. I need to stop and see how far I have really come ... great blog:)

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LOSING107 8/21/2010 12:44AM

    Wow over an hour at 6mph? Good job! I hope to get to that point someday. I was patting myself on the back last night for going 9 minutes at 4mph lol....

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NOT_BIG_BONED 8/21/2010 12:17AM

    Great blog! I needed to hear this because I am the same way. I am so supportive of other people, and then my worst critic. We need to be proud of how far we've come!

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RAVENSONG37 8/21/2010 12:00AM

    Beautiful!! I love this...and DONT APOLOGIZE!! This was GREAT!

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8/19 check-in (a little late)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Yesterday's recap:

Did I go to the gym yesterday morning and go on the elliptical as planned? Nope! I decided to take another rest day. I walked the dog for 2 miles total.

I had pancakes for dinner with my daughter instead of fish, but made sure that the calories equaled out (I had 3 small pancakes with 2 teaspoons of syrup for 8 points and so took away the peanut butter from one of my snacks). It was nice because then I didn't have to make my meal AND her meal.

I am still staying away from the scale, which is getting easier to do. I had to step on it yesterday at the doctor's office for my annual examination, but that doesn't count since it was at 2:30 p.m. and I had breakfast and lunch, and was wearing my clothes, which consisted of jeans and a t-shirt. One thing that torqued me, though, is that li'l miss prissy nurse (seriously, you would agree if you met her) did a shoddy job of doing my height. She had me stand facing her (fine), but then brought that thing down on my head really hard and SQUISHED it down! WTH??? So, instead of my usual 5 feet 6-3/4 inches that I am (I always just say 5' 7"), I ended up being written down as 5 feet 5-1/4 inches. What do I say, though, without sounding....whiny? So, I let it pass.

Then, my doctor came in. The OB/GYN who was supposed to deliver my baby, but was in Australia when I went into labor, but I saw him at least 10 times throughout the pregnancy and once at my postpartum visit. So, he DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME! And I am not so sure it was only because of the weight loss. He asked me questions that he should have known (like if I had children yet, if I was married) and then at the end of the visit he told me I need to work on losing about 15-20 pounds. I felt like clocking him upside the head, but hey...he is the mayor of Grand Forks after all.

Today's meal plan:

Breakfast: Apple Jacks cereal with milk (4 points) (yes, not quite as healthy as shredded wheat, but worth it!)

Snack: Apple with peanut butter (3 points)

Lunch: Carrots with 1 tablespoon low-fat Catalina dressing, and 1 filet of Alaskan pollock (5 points)

Snack: FiberOne bar (2 points)

Dinner: Pasta (Ronzina Smart Rotini) with Spaghetti Sauce (6 points)

Total of 20 points (goal is 23 points, but I try to have a 20-point day the day before a temptation day).

****Temptation day is tomorrow with the Christmas in August event at my grandparents house in Viking, MN. MANY family members, TONS of food, and I can guaran-damn-tee you that I will have no less than 10 of them trying to get me to eat their fatty as HECK food. I already had my godmother/aunt telling me about her flatbread with REAL butter that she wants me to have because it is so GOOD for diabetics and Weight Watchers followers. Liar.

Normally, I would be planning to run 8 miles before going, but since I can't run, I plan on doing the best I can with what I have, and just sticking to visiting as much as I can. I am also planning to wear my pencil-thin skirt and cute blousy top and so if I eat more than a few items, I will not feel good in that skirt. Hehe. (a trick by the WW leader...wear your skinny outfit and you will eat less guaranteed! Who wants to feel like their cup runneth over, so to speak?).

Ummm, so yeah. That should do it with the check-in :o} I am still going strong, and am feeling great. The focus is there 100%. I am also looking at future marathons that I may want to run (if I can prove to myself that I can do my first marathon next May).

Anyone have any suggestions for great marathons? You know what would be SO much fun? Running a marathon with YOU!!!

Toodles ~ Erin

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TANNERS 8/22/2010 9:05AM

    Awwhh.. Erin, I thought you were setting us up for this great, rewarding moment where he finally recognized you and was astounded by your amazing progress... For what its worth.. I THINK YOU RULE!!

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ILIKECACTI 8/21/2010 1:05PM

    what a frustrating dr's appointment!

i love the idea of wearing your skinny outfit to keep yourself from eating too much!!

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RLHOTAN 8/21/2010 9:39AM

    Have a wonderful christmas and time w/the family! Always good to go to those types of things w/a plan. And if you slip up, it is ok! You are doing great! And good job listening to your body!!

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MADDEELOU 8/20/2010 10:12PM

    Have a good time with your family. I had never heard that about wearing your skinny clothes but what a great idea. Can you get a new doctor? What a weanie.

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POOKAQUEEN 8/20/2010 10:08PM

    Have fun with your family! Great trick to stop over eating, I'm going to keep that in mind.

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SROUS1340 8/20/2010 10:46AM

    Erin, it sounds like you have found a way to have your life and a healthy lifestyle. Good for you!!!

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MIECHI7 8/20/2010 10:42AM

    Merry Christmas! emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 8/20/2010 10:42AM

    Just an FYI...a rest day does not mean walking 2 miles!!! Don't minimize what you're doing! I hope you have fun at X-mas and remember, nothing tastes as good as being fit feels. Hugs!

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8/18 check-in

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hi all!

I had a so-so day :o} I had a decent workout, but ate a few not so fabulous items, like Chef Boyardee Beefaroni and Easy Mac (my god, that is horrible!). So, I had much better food the rest of the evening, but had to eat much less because of it.

Lack of planning can sure make a difference, so I made sure I planned out tomorrow's meals. However, because payday is not until Friday, I am only going with what I have in the house, so not exactly the MOST well-balanced day ever and could use more fiber.

Breakfast - Banana, Oatmeal with Splenda/brown sugar and cinnamon, and 1 cup of milk - 6 points

Snack - Apple with peanut butter (3 points).

Lunch - Corn on the Cob with Chicken Noodle Soup (4 points)

Snack - Carrots and 1 cup milk (2 points)

Dinner - Alaskan Pollock with grilled asparagus and Baked potato (7 points)

Snack - Grilled onions and green peppers with 1 teaspoon olive oil (2 points)

Total points - 23/23

Oh, and I will be pushing my water intake tomorrow, hoping for 8 glasses of water on top of the milk. I will most likely have 1 glass of Diet Dr. Pepper, also :o}

I am planning on doing the elliptical for 45 minutes tomorrow morning.

Here's hoping for another great day, and I plan on rocking it!

Love you all!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POOKAQUEEN 8/19/2010 10:38AM

    Great plan, and tasty foods! You can do it!

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 8/19/2010 7:52AM

    Your absolutely right about the prior planning!! It makes a world of difference!

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-POOKIE- 8/19/2010 3:26AM

    Looks good to me... I hate empty fridge days before paydays!

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YASMINSHORTER 8/19/2010 2:54AM

    Good plan for tomorrow Erin! I'm sure you will rock it!!!!

I'm gonna have tot ake a leaf out of your book and start planning again too! Things go so much more smoothly when there's a plan!!!!

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RAVENSONG37 8/18/2010 11:11PM

    Looks like a good plan sweetie!!

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hi everyone -

Just a quick note before going to bed, but my weigh-in went EXCELLENT today. I lost 3.6 pounds, bringing me down to 170.6 :o}

I am over the moon about it, and so excited for my continuing journey. I realize my limitations, and am going to be heading to the gym in the morning to go on the elliptical and do my upper body ST. Yay!

Have a great night all :o}


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPYLADYV 8/19/2010 4:28PM


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YASMINSHORTER 8/19/2010 2:55AM

    160's ville soon!!!!! Bring it!!!!

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RLHOTAN 8/18/2010 6:59PM

    You are doing such a great job! Good for you!!!

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MOVINITMORE 8/18/2010 9:42AM

    You rocked it!!! I am so glad you did well. Very happy for you. You worked hard. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 8/18/2010 9:28AM

    Yay!!! I am so happy for you! You rock girl!!!

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ILIKECACTI 8/18/2010 7:58AM

    way to go! i've been giving myself "rest day" after "rest day"... it's becoming just "lazy days"... you are inspiring me to get off my butt!!

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POOKAQUEEN 8/18/2010 7:37AM

Good job! You are very inspiriing with everything you've accomplished.

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-POOKIE- 8/18/2010 1:41AM

    emoticon Wonderful!!

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MADEMCHE 8/18/2010 1:04AM

    Way to go Erin, that is awesome! Almost in the 160's, wow!!! So proud of you!

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MSHUFFNPUFFN 8/17/2010 11:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon WOW!!! You're doing it!!!! Keep up the excellent work!!! You are an inspiration!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Recap of weekend

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I hurt my leg. Dang it!!!!!!!!! I know, it seemed like I was overdoing it, but such trivial things. I hurt my quad during a sprint, then rested it. I hurt it more dancing, but I drink maybe twice a year, got a nice little buzz (since getting drunk would require more calories, I didn't get drunk). I was out dancing, since the club we were at was ROCKING and the DJ was super awesome. I did a very "low" move and on the way up I felt a solid pop in my thigh. Not good. I still danced for another hour since I felt pressure to keep going (mainly by guys....lesson learned?). Here is a quick picture for you to see of me and my hubby...we are so bad at taking pictures with my camera:

Here is another one...more of a close-up (and less of my belly):

I spent Sunday relaxing/resting and actually feeling a bit depressed and let down about my injury and the fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to run the 10K that I had signed up for today. I know in my head that there are more important things (like the half marathon in October), but I just am such a competitive person. Who am I competing with, you ask? Myself. Me, myself, and I. I want to push myself further, test my limits. See what I can do! And this was the next step for me. Oh, well. Another 10K in the future perhaps! I guess another reason I am bummed is because a part of me feels....lazy for backing out. Like I am failing, or giving up. I need to work on this mindset. I can be such an "all or nothing" person, but thankfully I didn't let that derail me this weekend.

Not to say I was perfect. I did eat bad things. I did eat too much of some healthy items (granola bars, watermelon mainly). For the bad things, I had some McDonald's. I had the angus snack wrap (mushroom and swiss). That was so disgusting. The amount of mayo they added was grotesque. I threw it out after eating about half of it, so I had about 225 calories there. Not too bad....

I am nervous about the weigh in today. Such an up and down week, where the first 4 days were spot on with nutrition and fitness, and the last few were not so fantastic but not horrible.

I have been walking, though....I have said no to running and spinning for at least a week and then re-evaluate my leg after that. I will be doing the elliptical and upper body ST starting tomorrow. I have to remain somewhat active! I am also going swimming when I can this week.

I did play kickball for our league's first game yesterday, but I didn't kick or run. I played catcher and mainly outfield (in a spot that was only kicked to twice). I didn't feel worse after the game and felt better this morning, not sore. We won both games, 14-3 and 12-3, so that rocked!

What else....? I think that is it for now. I am sorry I didn't keep up with you all during these last few days, but I was kind of avoiding the internet and being a bit of a bummer....


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIRGINIAGRETA 8/17/2010 4:41PM

    Hope the leg heals quickly! You've got lots of time to recover before your HM! emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 8/17/2010 2:07PM

    No need to apologise. You needed to soothe your own soul, and that's fine. We're not judgemental here.
Kickball sounds like so much fun. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I'm glad it sounds like you are feeling better now.
Not competeing on an injured leg is much smarter than running on that injury and ending up with a possibly debilitating injury. It's not giving up, it's not backing out, and it's definitely not being lazy. You are anything but lazy!
Try to relax and rest!

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SCRAPPYLADYV 8/17/2010 1:19PM

    You guys are such a cute couple!!

Give that leg a chance to heal properly. You don't want to end up with a bigger injury.

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LOSING107 8/17/2010 1:18PM

    I wish you a speedy recovery! And I'm working on breaking the all or nothing mindset as well, so I know how it is. But, you aren't lazy at all for giving your body time to heal.

Rock October's half marathon whoop whoop!

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RLHOTAN 8/17/2010 12:40PM

    Hey! How is the leg feeling now a few days later and where exactly was the "pop".? It is NEVER a good sign when you actually hear the "pop" sound. If you are still feeling pain, just in general, not w/exercising or if it is bothering you when trying to sleep I seriously think you should see an orthopedic dr. DO NOT RUN IF THE PAIN IS STILL THERE!!!!!

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MADEMCHE 8/17/2010 11:54AM

    Erin it is ok. You are doing an amazing job and one missed 10K is not going to ruin everything that you have done. Maybe this break is a blessing in disguise. Your body just needs a little break. You have been going full tilt, just back off a little and focus on stretching and your eating and strength training. You will get there.

You and your husband look wonderful together! And I LOVE that purple top on you, you look fantastic! And it it the new fall colour!

Plus you were out having fun, that is important too! You are allowed fun, you deserve fun!

You will back running like a mad woman in no time. Don't worry or feel sad or disappointed. We are all so proud of you, you should be too!!

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