Thursday, February 18, 2010
I have been away from Sparkpeople for some time now. It's kind of depressing, I had this sense of motivation and I knew where I needed to go. But then, my head got clogged with all the things I had to do, and the places I had to be at. I lost sight of what I needed, what I wanted, and how to get there. I realized that part of my problem was working 2 jobs which I felt blessed to have but cursed at the same time. I did not have time to do the things I wanted or needed to do. I didn't have a day to myself to do anything because a day off from my full time job, meant a days work at my other. The stress was overwhelming and I became so exhausted I would find myself going home and crashing on my bed, neglecting to take better care of myself.
I made the decision a week ago to put in my two weeks at my part time job. Its sad and I felt blessed to have two jobs because I know many people are struggling to have one. However, I am giving an opportunity to give a job to someone else, and in addition paying better attention to myself and making time to do what I need to do.
One good thing that I have done since I have been absent from the Sparkpeople (temporarily) is that I did sign up at the gym. Yes, I know, I never thought I would actually do it, but I made the leap. I know that I am one out of many people who feared the gym or at least was a bit intimidated. I felt like I would be the center of attention because I would be a new face, and a new body type. However, I realized that those thoughts were put in there by my insecurity and if I never overcome them, my insecurity and unhappiness could fester into something much larger than I can handle.
So, I got the courage to go to the gym, and I even bought new gym clothes to motivate me to go. When I got in there, I looked at the ground and walked to the girl's changing room. I put my coat on the hanger and turned my iPod on and walked back into the gym room and onto an elliptical where I started a very light workout. I didn't notice many people looking at me, and I realized most people looked at their televisions and/or listened to the music and focused on themselves. I felt relieved and more comfortable. I am happy that I made that decision, I now go on a 3 days a week basis, and eventually hope to increase it.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
So, today is day 2 and I started off really well. While I did get a corn muffin, it was a low-fat one and I was able to find out its nutritional value. I also had some orange juice to jump start the day. I didn't consume many calories for lunch either. However, I felt really lazy today and I cruised over to Boston Market for dinner. Bad idea, Erica! Bad Idea :(
All my calories were blown during dinner. While I am upset with myself, I have to look at this in a positive light. Never before would I have looked up these items I was eating and track them, or even care how much it was worth. I would look at the calories, but I wouldn't write them down. I realized that if I am going to get serious in losing weight I need to kick the fast food eating habit, which is so common for people around my age or people who have a hectic lifestyle.
I was looking through other people's spark pages and I found women who have been here for several years and are at their weight goals and look absolutely amazing! There was also another person's blog who touched my heart. She has been on here for 3 months and has already lost so much weight and I could see a bit of myself in her. I used to be a very skinny person and was always self confident. But, with time, I did gain a bit of weight and then after my car accident, I packed on the pounds faster than a blink of an eye. I never realized how fast it was to pack on the weight and how long it can take to take it off; but, that common phrase, " all good things comes to those who wait!" must be true, and I can tell you I can't hardly wait to get here, but I am going to have to learn to be patient.
It's going to be alright, I am learning and I will definitely make a healthier choice during dinner time from now on. No matter how tired I am to cook, I will not be stopping at a fast food joint or buy some sort of pre-made food for me to eat. And, of course... Drinking more water is a must! I did get one glass in... it's all I could manage today, but I will do better.
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