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Trying to be positive

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Sometimes, I have episodes of hopelessness and pessimism. At those times, I look at all the negative aspects of my life and start having a pity party.

But I've decided, no more! No matter how sorry I feel for myself or how much I complain, I'm only making everything worse by feeling miserable and I can't change anything by doing that anyway, so I've decided that from today onwards, I will do the best I can and try to be happy and positive about my life. It's better that way.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KHEY1282 4/9/2011 11:57AM

  hi... same feeling trying to be positive too... I know it really happens for a reason... emoticon

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DIANE2110 3/11/2011 9:54AM

    Hello Elaine! Was reading your entry on "Calling All Christian Women" and the responses to it. I won't add too much more because Christine has covered it all. What a wonderful way she has with uplifting words!

When I was a kid, and that's a very long time ago, my father always had a different way to deal with our hurts. For example, if I fell and hit my head on the table, he would rush to the table to survey the damage and ask out loud if the table was alright. I'd ask him why he went to the table instead of coming to see myr booboo and he would say something like, "Well, you'll recover because you always get better. But the table, if it's broken, it cannot heal itself!" Although I didn't like his reaction, it made me forget my bump for a few seconds and that was good enough to get me on the right track, the idea being that there is always someone worse off than me. Then he would come to me and 'kiss it better'.

Having been raised that way, I'm not much good with words but I am very glad to read of your feeling a little about your lot in life and I encourage you to go to the following site and see how this person dealt with his lot in life.

R>Hope it helps a little!


Comment edited on: 3/11/2011 9:57:34 AM

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EOWYN2424 3/11/2011 7:23AM

    Thanks, you're all so nice!

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MELAPHANTN 3/10/2011 5:14PM

    First, I love your sparkpage. The flowers along the side are so pretty. You have great taste.

Second, and more importantly, it is normal to feel sorry for yourself and wonder "Why me?" As a doctor said to me recently, that is normal for every person even when not faced with a chronic condition. We have our everyday life to deal with plus this illness.

I lost my first husband in a car accident when he was 23 and we had 2 small children. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. You just keep going. You enjoy each treasure in each day even if it's just the smile on your childs face or the feel of sunshine on your skin. Focus on those things.

Third, You have many friends who understand what you are going through and how you feel in Lupus-Team butterfly. We are here for you.

Hope you feel better soon!

emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/10/2011 1:46PM

    emoticon Glad you're feeling a little brighter now. It is overwhelming sometimes dealing with multiple chronic issues. I don't have SLE but other issues.

Keep venting if that helps you feel better. Know you're loved!

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NANALD 3/10/2011 10:51AM

    As a fellow Lupie, I think it is natural to have down periods when it all seems overwhelming. I applaud your decision to look at the bright side of things and am sure it will have a positive impact on your health. When I am feeling really sick and hopeless I try to keep reminding myself that it will pass and that I need to define success at that moment as learning to take care of myself. You can do this and while we all have ups and downs making a decision to make the best of what we've been handed is a major step. Just don't forget to be kind to yourself if there are times when you just can't seem to do that. It is an ongoing challenge for me but I hope you will also learn to reach out to others when you are down. You can and you will do this! Keep up the great work!! emoticon

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LAURAAT 3/10/2011 9:49AM

    I know how hard this disease can be, and how tough it is to not let it drag you down. You've got the right attitude now! Just take it one step, one day, at a time. You can do it! We're all here cheering you on!!

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SHAWFAN 3/10/2011 6:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 3/10/2011 4:53AM



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A new resolve!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

I don't care what I did in the past that has made my weight increase at each post-dialysis weigh-in before today! From now, it'll be different! I'll not only achieve my dry weight, I will make it slightly less if possible! And I'll try to make my targets less than 3kgs!

I won't drink excessively, I'll only drink when I'm thirsty. And I won't eat salty foods that make me want to drink and drink. I'll only eat when I'm hungry and I won't eat too much either coz foods add up too.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life! I owe to my heart to watch my weight! Not just for a healthier lifestyle but to prolong my life as a dialysis patient! I will do this!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EOWYN2424 3/8/2011 9:32AM

    Thanks, Jessica!

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JESSICAPAGE 3/8/2011 9:30AM

    You can achieve whatever you want to! Just remember that you need to fuel your body too. Do not deny yourself the essential nutrients you need to be healthy. I wish you the best. emoticon

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CHARMIAN2 3/8/2011 4:48AM

  very positive blog-you CAN do it

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I don't even dare weigh myself now....... :(

Saturday, March 05, 2011

My Mom makes a mean laksa! Laksa is a Malaysian noodle dish with fresh grated cucumber, mung bean sprouts, fish cake, chopped pineapple, raw onions with a hint of lime juice, all topped off with an aromatic fish soup. My Mom's laksa is the best!

Which is why I'm so worried about weighing in now. I had a heaping bowl for breakfast, another heaping bowl for lunch, and I just had a small bowl a few minutes ago, and that was around 10.40pm.

I guess I'll be in trouble again on Monday. I'll be too heavy again. Gosh, everything seems so hopeless! Just for once, I'd like to extract less than 3 kilos during dialysis. Actually, not just for once, but from now on would be more appropriate!

Oh! What am I to do?!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DVINEPR 3/6/2011 11:40AM

    Small steps lead to long term progress! Don't let your menu today dictate how you feel about yourself. Lean into God, determine to make better choices tomorrow, and don't give in to negative self-talk!!

God is faithful! Submit your will to Him, and He will take care of the rest!


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HOCKEY47 3/5/2011 5:00PM

    i love laksa, do u know how to make it

you shoulnd't worry so much about your weight, i see your scale and you are okay

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JESSICAPAGE 3/5/2011 12:37PM

    Dont Give Up. Give yourself time and learn from each experience. You will reach your goals!

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About dinner last night.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Well, I had a good time with my friend. I ate a LOT of sushi! and a medium size shashimi! I also had too much cold green tea. As expected I was still too heavy at weigh-in in the dialysis centre today.

I guess from now on, I have to eat like a rabbit and drink sparingly. It's my only choice now. My blood pressure keeps dropping towards the 3rd hour of dialysis. I have to take action now before it's too late!

Not only do I have to pray hard but I have to do something about it too, everyday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSICAPAGE 3/5/2011 9:18AM

    I hope that things get better!

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FERRETLOVER1 3/4/2011 7:20AM

    Good luck to you - this is a tough journey...but the rewards are well worth it.

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WALIDGAZALA 3/4/2011 6:59AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CAM2438 3/4/2011 6:55AM

    I like your last statement. We can pray, but, we also have to take control of our bodies as well. Good luck to you!

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An unusual challenge for me....

Thursday, March 03, 2011

I have unusual challenges that most women (and men) in SP don't face normally. This is because I'm a dialysis patient. I have SLE and this has caused my kidneys to fail. I've been on dialysis for 6 years now.

Unlike most ppl, I have to watch my fluid intake. I'm about to go out for a sushi dinner with a friend of mine and I'm so worried that I'll be too heavy (again!) for tomorrow's dialysis treatment.

At the moment, I go 3 times a week, and I'm scared to death of having to go 4 times a week instead. This is because I've been extracting 4kgs of fluid each time I go. And even after treatment, I'm still a little heavier than usual.

Allow me to explain. Ideally, after every treatment, I should weigh 56kgs (my current dry weight). But lately, I've been between 56.1 to 56.7kgs (on a bad day). I so afraid that the doctor will put me on 4 treatments a week instead of 3!

Dialysis 3 times a week is already a pain! 4 would be torture! Which means, I can't even enjoy myself fully during dinner today. I pray that I will urinate a lot tonight so that I won't be overly heavy tomorrow afternoon when I go for my last dialysis treatment for the week.....pray for me.......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEENSTER1 3/5/2011 12:09PM

    Please take care of yourself. Watch what you intake carefully. 4 times a week, you really don't want. I know you don't. emoticon

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HOCKEY47 3/3/2011 11:56PM

    praying for you

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NOMUFFINTOP3 3/3/2011 7:50AM

    Bless you. I am saying a prayer for you.

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WENDYSPARKS 3/3/2011 7:02AM

    I will pray for you. I hope you will be ok.


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