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Sometimes I really question God!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I used to be a very self-centered person. In some ways, I still am but I'm working on bettering my character. Despite that, I'm by nature a kind person, and would never scheme or intentionally hurt anyone. That's why I don't understand why I have such a raw deal in life when they are many, many evil or bad people in this world who seem to have it so easy! That means, they have a smooth sailing life with no problems.

As for me, on the other hand, I have been on dialysis for around 8 years. But now, my parathoroid glands are swollen and I may need either expensive meds for the rest of my life or surgery, to remove the pt glands as a last resort. I've already been through a few surgeries in my life.

My question to God is : why is it that it doesn't rain but pours when it comes to the struggles and problems I have in my life? I'm not such a bad person so why am I'm being punished this way? Of all the people in the world, why must I be singled out to have SLE (the reason my kidneys failed)? SLE is so rare, so why me?

It would be so easy for God to make me part of the majority of people who don't have SLE, so why make life so hard for me by singling me out to get it? What sin have I committed to get me this death sentence. And why doesn't God just take my soul and be done with it instead of making life so difficult for me. I'd rather have a quick and painless death than this drawn out lingering passage to death! Why is God torturing me this way?!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BACKMOON 9/19/2012 8:40AM

    I have often ask myself that same question. and I like to look at it this way. I believe we are all here for a reason. And I have been told by many people how much I inspire them by keeping a positive outlook and always in a good mood in spite of the struggles Lupus has presented me. I have always maintained I have survived by the Grace of God and it is His strength that has kept me going. So perhaps my purpose in life is to be an inspiration. To show people, no matter what life throws at you your Faith can get you through it.
Perhaps that is your purpose too. I have followed you for years and read your blogs and chatted with you and know you are an inspiration to me. In spite of your difficulties, you are here everyday without fail inspiring others.

God Bless

Rick

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FATHINSN 9/15/2012 8:42AM

    All those obstacles that we have in life are "tests" that God gave us and to make us return to God more, especially if we've been doing less prayers or things to remember God. Hold on there, face what you're having in life with strong face and wills, pray to God to give you more strength and help you to get out from your issues and also, be more patience.

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CJJANISS 9/14/2012 3:16PM

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FRANCES-AGAPE 9/14/2012 1:20AM

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! ! ! ! PRAYING ! ! ! !

Wish I had the answer for you, Dear.

Remember how Paul said God had given
him a "thorn in the flesh"?

Now we see darkly, but eventually
we will know as we are known.


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BLESSINGS !

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COUPONS0216 9/13/2012 8:54PM

    I can't begin to know what you are going through, but it's ok to question, that's the human side of us all, but have faith and trust in him.
Know that you are sweet and a joy to many and I will keep you in my prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 9/13/2012 12:05PM

    Trust in the Lord. Believe in the Lord. I would like to share Daily Grace Inspirations from Joseph Prince Ministries and Joseph Prince.com

I have been going through some rough times too and God is there for me. You just have to trust Him and Believe in Him. I hope the following will also help you as it did help me.

Psalm 91:2
2I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.”

When you feel the pain in your body, don’t say of the Lord, “God wants me sick to teach me to trust Him more.” Instead, say, “Lord Jesus, I thank You that by Your stripes I am healed.” (1 Peter 2:24)

Meditate On

For Moses writes about the righteousness which is of the law, “The man who does those things shall live by them.” But the righteousness of faith speaks…
Romans 10:5–6

The Righteousness Of Faith Speaks

Let me say something about faith. You cannot have faith without speaking it. When you study Romans 10, you will notice that it says that “the righteousness which is of the law…does…But the righteousness of faith speaks.” The law is about doing, whereas faith is about speaking. It is not enough to just know in your mind that you are righteous. You need to open your mouth and say by faith, “I am the righteousness of God in Christ.”

Paul said, “And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, ‘I believed and therefore I spoke,’ we also believe and therefore speak” (2 Corinthians 4:13). The spirit of faith is clearly about believing and speaking. So it does not matter how many sermons or books on righteousness you have heard and read. You need to believe it and speak it.

Confessing your righteousness in Christ keeps you conscious of Jesus. Every time you speak it, you magnify His finished work on the cross. So believe and speak the truth: “I am the righteousness of God in Christ.” The more you believe it and speak it, the more you will walk in the blessings of the righteous!

Blessings,
Jos
eph Prince

You can sign up to receive emails from Joseph Prince.com


Comment edited on: 9/13/2012 12:07:54 PM

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Q8PRINCESS 9/13/2012 10:03AM

    Sometimes you just have to wonder.

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GIRLAWESOME 9/13/2012 9:09AM

    I dont know that he exists in the way that he "made" you have SLE, or that he can heal you in that way.

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LIABOOTY 9/13/2012 7:23AM

    God will not give you more that you can handle. God says in His word that His grace is all we need. He will bring you through it and you'll be a testimony to His unfailing love. Just keep on praising Him and thanking Him for all the blessings in your life and remember that He makes us stronger through our trials and tribulations. Be encouraged and don't give up emoticon emoticon

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MNABOY 9/13/2012 6:47AM

    God not only chastises those he loves but God uses us in ways we don't understand. A very dear friend had worked most of his life and was called to the ministry in his 50's. He worked hard and led the restoration of a church that had fallen into discord and non-service. He then was diagnosed with Lou Gerhig's disease. For almost four years he withered and was confined to a wheelchair. I, too, wondered why God would not heal a good servant and not strike down many evil people in our communiyu. Finally I listened to God and realized that I was uplifted by how my friend dealt with his challenge. His life, while not one that he would have chosen, was a greater witness of his faith and love of the Lord than his works as a "healthy" pastor. You are probably a beacon to many and do not even know how important your life is to them in dealing with their challenges. Your rewards are eternal, your challenges only short term in the big picture. You are in my prayer for comfort and continued courage.

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I think my Mom needs to rearrange her garden......

Thursday, September 06, 2012

My Mom has a beautiful shady corner. She has tastefully arranged some big leafty potted plants in a shady corner that so appealing to pregnant cats! This is the 3rd time that a litter of kittens have been born there! I think she needs to break up the shady corner. She doesn't like cats. I like them but I don't want kittens born in my Mom's garden every now and them especially if they are feral like these are!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Q8PRINCESS 9/6/2012 11:19PM

    Feral cats are a real problem. I think you are right about this.

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MISSDAISY23 9/6/2012 12:26PM

    Uh-oh! I agree with you that your Mom should rearrange her garden! Take care!
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SUGARSMOM2 9/6/2012 10:54AM

  I love cats and kittens are the cutest . unwanted pets are a pain . will remind you that cats should be spade or neutered . that said perhaps mom could not make it as welcoming to the cats .

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SQUIRRELLYONE 9/6/2012 9:59AM

    Oh no! :(

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Still having phone problems.......

Saturday, September 01, 2012

I still haven't heard from the the techys at the phone/internet company! Every time I call them, they said they would call back but so far, nothing. I've already given them a piece of my mind but still, no action! I've also been having WiFi problems now and then too! I'm so mad! I think I'll call them again today!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Q8PRINCESS 9/2/2012 1:15AM

    Really it's time to give them a visit and bring your really BIG dog with you!

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KARENCRANER 9/1/2012 9:00PM

    Persevere, Sparksister!

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MISSDAISY23 9/1/2012 3:40PM

    OMG!

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SUGARSMOM2 9/1/2012 1:05PM

  I wonder how we will get along in about fifty years . what and how will we will be technically connected then ? so many problems now what will the future hold . If we can dream it can they make it ? hope all your problems will be fixed soon.

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 9/1/2012 10:14AM

    Trying to get help with technical problems is so frustrating! Do you have a local person you can get to come in and try to resolve the problems for you?

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FATHINSN 9/1/2012 9:18AM

    Uhuh, that's bad. At least you still have your hp, right? Good luck with fixing the problem and dealing with the support!

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I hate it when they play deaf!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I repeated what I said TWICE to the helpdesk guys! I'm having phone problems (VoIP). He still couldn't catch what I said! I mean, I'm wondering, do I have speech or pronounciation problems? Or are they just being deaf or stupid. The 3rd time, I was already angry, I raised my voice and spoke each word clearly and loudly, well, they got it that time. They'd better, or I'll start yelling at them! I mean, honestly! Are they even listening or not!

I guess I'm just grouchy because I'm having a flu right now. But you would be grouchy too, if it takes them 4 days to call you back and the problem is still not fixed!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHICA_BORICUA 8/27/2012 7:39AM

  I hate when they play stupid and the excuse they give is that I don't understand what are yousaying, BS.

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Q8PRINCESS 8/26/2012 11:05PM

    I'd ask to go to their office and bring a bat with me.

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FRANCES-AGAPE 8/26/2012 6:29PM

    emoticon

Everything seems WORSE
when you are ill

BLESSINGS!

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MISSDAISY23 8/26/2012 2:59PM

    Take it easy on yourself. I know it is frustrating when you have to deal with incompetent people at the phone company. Hope you will get the issue resolved soon. Most important, get well soon. Take care!
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SUGARSMOM2 8/26/2012 2:02PM

  I have to say i talk and talk until i am blue in the face and I get no reaction from my hubby . I turn and look he is asleep and not hearing a think i was talking about . then i wonder how long has he been there but not there .the guys in the office are there to work so they should listen . good luck . i am all ears to hear how you make it turn out .

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CLWALDRO 8/26/2012 7:57AM

    I hope they fixed your issue but I think some of your problem may be a language barrier not the fact they are not listening. More than 90% of the help desk for companies are staffed in foreign countries. I know with most companies they still keep as very small home country help staff but you must ask to be transferred to someone in your home country to access this group. It may take talking to a supervisor but if you demand it they must transfer you. .
Next time you have phone issues give it a try and see if your level of frustration goes down
I hope you feel better soon

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KKKAREN 8/26/2012 7:49AM

    I hope you feel better soon and get your phone fixed!

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EOWYN2424 8/26/2012 2:43AM

    They keep saying they'll call me back! But so far, they've done nothing! And I made the first call like 5 days ago! Talk about inefficiency!

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CAMEOSUN 8/26/2012 2:37AM

  Oh My !! I've totally done that also over the phone...maybe even a couple times in person. Did they get it fixed yet ??

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Taking a break from exercise because of flu....

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I don't feel right, I'm woozy and right now, I just want to curl up in bed. I don't feel like doing anything! I just want to rest..............

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATHINSN 8/27/2012 12:20AM

    Take your time, better rest and quick recovery than force yourself and end up getting much, much worse!

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SUGARSMOM2 8/26/2012 1:44PM

  you have to take care of yourself . so get well .

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JESSYVIRGINY 8/26/2012 10:33AM

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Q8PRINCESS 8/26/2012 12:37AM

    Oh that's horrible. Take care and get well soon!

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KARENCRANER 8/25/2012 7:02PM

    Awww, Sweetie, I sure hopo you feel better soon!

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MISSDAISY23 8/25/2012 7:01PM

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AUDISP 8/25/2012 6:02PM

    Feel better soon. emoticon

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ROCKINROBYNOZ 8/25/2012 4:41AM

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