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I'm trying but it's hard...........

Thursday, December 01, 2011

I'm trying to limit my fluids and also food because I have to. I'm on dialysis and I have to watch my weight like a hawk. Basically, whatever I eat or drink ends up making me heavier and I cannot be more than 3 kilos heavier otherwise I'll be in trouble. My blood pressure will drop and I'll faint during treatment if I extract more than 3 kilos.

Today, I went to the mall. I had a turkey and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread. It was delicious but a little on the salty side. I had some iced water with it. That was supposed to be my lunch but after and hour or two, I was still hungry. So, I bought a little salmon teriyaki rice bowl.

Then I was thirsty, I needed something cold! They were having this promotion on fresh fruit smoothies. Pay Rm25 and you get membership for 2 years (entitles you to 20% off their drinks), a RM10 voucher which I used immediately and a refillable bottle, which you have to bring in order to get the 20% discount on their drinks.

So, after buying that I decided to take a cab home coz I needed to get my drink into the fridge within an hour. But after I got home, I consumed about more than half the bottle.......oops!

I'll have to take less fluids during dinner, I guess. I'm trying!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELISOS 12/3/2011 3:27PM


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WHOLEHEARTPAT 12/1/2011 8:26PM

    It's accepting the hard tasks in life that helps us grow! You are becoming strong! emoticon emoticon

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4GREEN4 12/1/2011 12:31PM

  We all have set backs

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WENDYSPARKS 12/1/2011 6:25AM


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ADEWYN 12/1/2011 5:23AM

    just keep at it..hugs :)

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Time to get Serious!!! For real this time!!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I've been so lax when it comes to food and drink, especially drink! I am a dialysis patient and I have watch my fluid levels like a hawk, among other things, like potassium, phosphate, protein, salt, in other words I can't eat and drink like a normal person because I don't urinate as much. I only urinate twice a day!

I've been warned by the nurses that either my heart will give out or my fistula (the thing in my arm that enables dialysis) will stop. So, I'd better listen and wisen up. I have to, I mean I HAVE TO watch my fluid intake. I also have to watch what I eat more closely as I've been gaining a little too!

I refuse to give up on myself! I can do this!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNCHOOSE 11/30/2011 8:50PM

    Yes, you can! emoticon

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AMBERNICHOLE3 11/30/2011 3:51PM

    NEVER give up on yourself! You can do this!!

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SCTRACKER 11/30/2011 11:15AM

    emoticon Praying for you. With God you can do all things. emoticon

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BIGPICTURE2 11/30/2011 10:23AM

  We refuse to give up on you, too! We're all rooting for you!

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Good Lord!!! I'm getting FAT!!!!!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My belly roll is getting more noticeable and I'm going up in weight too! Only about 3kg but I feel so fat!!! But I have such a good appetite that I just can't say no to my snacks! I'm snacking constantly!!! I feel like such a pig!!!! I should know better!! But I'm just so hungry all the time!!! I'm also so thirsty all the time, I'm in trouble in the dialysis center too!

The nurses are warning me if I continue to extract 4kgs each time, my heart is going to give out or my fistula is going to die!!! I really should know better!!! But whenever I'm faced with food or drink, I get temporary amnesia and I ingest! Gosh! I'm such a pig!!! Help!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEVEN70 11/29/2011 8:17PM

    Maybe it's because of all the water you have to drink and your thirst. That's known to cause appetite, it does for me. Sometimes if I drink too much water it causes mild stomach unrest, that little bit of indigestion makes me want to eat a little to sooth it. Anyway, don't beat yourself up, think medical not will power.

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COLBIJEAN 11/29/2011 5:47PM

    It's ok to have snacks, but work on the portion sizes. If you think you will snack a lot throughout the day then eat small meals so you won't overdo it.
A couple weeks ago I just really needed Icecream, it was in the freezer so I wanted to eat it. I told myself that I could have some one time each day, but I made sure to only eat the 1/2 cup portion size and look at how many calories I had already consumed for the day before eating. Even after eating 1/2 cup a day I still lost 3 lbs that week.

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KEEPITUP05 11/29/2011 10:52AM

    Think about why you are eating. Are truly hungry? If so, then healthy snacks are fine. Just make sure it's hunger and not boredom or some other emotional reason. Try drinking water, low calorie drink or chewing gum. :)

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SAWAGNER09 11/29/2011 10:26AM

    If you are hungry try making your snack a fruit or a hundred calorie pack of something. I try to keep stuff in my desk at work that is healthy in case I get the munchies. You can also try carrying a bottle of water with you for when you are thirsty that way you don't go to a vending machine. Good luck!

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I really need more self-control!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

As a dialysis patient, I don't urinate as much as a normal person, therefore I not only have to watch my fluids (primarily) but also my overall diet as I can't drink or eat as much as a normal person.

This weekend I went overboard! I don't even dare weigh myself now as I just know that I'm super heavy! My mom cooked spaghetti bolognaise on Saturday and I had a few heaping helpings. Then after each helping, I felt thirsty and had to drink each time.

Oh gosh! I really need to be more watchful of what I eat. But then again, I think, if I die, then I die, at least I went out enjoying myself. I'll have to be a better person though, so I that when I die, I'll be with The Lord, Jesus!


What would you do if you feel lonely and just so bleh?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Today, my brother and father went to work and my Mom went to her friend's house. I was left alone at home. Normally, I can fill the hours with stuff I like to do like surf the net, read, watch TV and sew. But today, I just felt so bleh. I felt like a dark cloud is looming over me, making me yearn for company.

I considered calling a friend but most of my friends are too busy with work to go out to the mall with me (for instance). And after I hang up, I will still feel lonely and bleh!

Well, I decided today, bleh or not, I will finish reading my new book, Inheritance. I didn't really like the ending but I enjoyed reading it all the same. But I still feel bleh!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BACKMOON 11/28/2011 10:54AM

    I try to keep myself busy with work, be it strenuous or tedious. Or I like to beat on my drums or play my guitar, maybe try to write a song.

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RUNCHOOSE 11/27/2011 7:48AM

    I like exploring places and hobbies on my own. I am used to being on my own a lot but like you I cherish my time with family. Also, classes or clubs- I like the atmosphere of learning new things and it's a way to meet new people, even if you aren't there explicitly for the friendship. I am always grateful for not being around people who are unpleasant or disrespectful to me.

Comment edited on: 11/27/2011 7:54:11 AM

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LESLIESENIOR 11/26/2011 2:14AM

    I have also found exercise a good mood elevator. But more than that, I reach out to help someone else. I find that engrossing myself in the needs of someone else pulls me out of myself. I end up feeling better than the person I was supposedly assisting.

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BUTTERFLY4411 11/24/2011 6:30PM

    Hi! I am lonely alot, I live alone I am older, my family is out of state, and no one is near me, and I just moved here so I know no one but the people in my apt building. Holidays are just another day for me I dont' cook fancy dinners or eat junk, the only day I hope will be good is xmas, its my favorite time of year when my son comes home if the roads an weather are ok.

I have alot of loneliness in my life but I talk to God alot and I play alot of good music and I go for a walk. I also keep books on hand as I love to read.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 11/24/2011 1:49PM

    I have these feelings a lot, I talk to God and do distraction techniques, eg sparking, exercising, even just writing down my feelings helps, hope you feel better soon.

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JUGE300000 11/24/2011 10:50AM

    Exercise...take a walk...exercise seems to clear the blues away.


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ADEWYN 11/24/2011 9:48AM

    it is not uncommon to feel this way...go for a walk i the fresh air this will help some...call a friend or just stop by someones house..bring a little snack and tell them were thiking of them :)

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