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It gets worse!!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Well, I've hit the 4kg mark despite my best intentions! I'm doomed! I will die of heart failure soon! I'm a dialysis patient and if I continue extracting 4kg everytime, I will die of heart failure! I'm already getting twinges in my chest towards the 3rd hour of dialysis, every time.

I haven't said anything though coz I want to be of normal weight again, something I haven't been for MONTHS!!!! I just keep getting heavier and heavier. I feel like a pig! And I HAVE been trying to drink less but somehow I keep tipping the scales at 4kg above from my current dry weight and even that keeps increasing!

Help! I'm supposed to be losing weight not gaining!!!! It's hopeless!!! I'm feeling suicidal!!! There's no point in all this!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DTONEY76 10/18/2011 5:22AM

    I'm sooo sorry that you are going through sooo much right now and that your weight loss journey is not as successful as you will like it to be. Know that we are totally here for you and want only but the best for you. I'm here fighting with you and please hang in there and know that you are in my prayers. You are fighter! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PUNKINSMOM84 10/17/2011 7:22PM

    The first thing you need to think about is talking to your doctor. There could be more going on than just the dialysis and the extraction. Right now your weight should not be your priority, but getting this heart problem taken care of. Gaining weight and dialysis is not the end of the world. Believe me, I was on dialysis, and gained weight, but once the doctors tweaked the dialysis and my meds, I was a lot better.

If you feel suicidal, find a Hotline and talk to someone immediately. I can empathize with you, being that I've gone through the dialysis and congestive heart failure in my life. There is hope and a bright future. Take care, prayers coming your way and get some help. Kris

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ENNAID2 10/16/2011 6:47PM

  The only thing you can do is do your best. Please don't despair. We are here to support you. Check with your doctor and ask him is there is something you can do to help you lose weight.

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RUNCHOOSE 10/16/2011 1:23PM

    I'm not sure what it means to extract 4kg but I appreciate you sharing your struggles with us. I agree with Cathemarie and hope you get professional help - 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) might be a place to start.

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CATHEMARIE 10/16/2011 9:20AM

    Please talk to your doctor as soon as possible. Call someone to be with you. You should not be my yourself right now. I am praying for you.

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DIANAOR1 10/16/2011 9:18AM

    Please don't beat yourself over it. Take it day by day! One step at a time! Good luck on this journey. We all have bumps in the road! emoticon

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It's sooooooo hard!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Now it's Saturday night after dinner, and I weigh 58.8kgs! My current dry weigh is 56.5kgs, up 500 grams from my previous dry weight of 56kgs and yet I'm having such a hard time keeping my fluids to a minimum. I'm already 2.3kgs up and I still have Sunday to accumulate even more weight. This is NOT Good!!! Btw, I'm a dialysis patient, that's why this is such a big deal. I don't urinate as much as a normal person, so whatever I drink becomes stuck in my body and I just get heavier and heavier.

I've been trying not to tip the scales for almost a month. But I don't know why I keep bypassing the 4kg mark. This is terrible! I'm afraid my heart will fail and my lungs will be submerged in all the excess fluids and I'll drown in my own access fluids!!!!

I really don't know what to do now? Stop drinking and eating altogether?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GHOSTFLAMES 10/15/2011 8:38AM


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I'm in trouble now!!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I still owe the dialysis machine 700g, that's almost 1Kg! I hope by Friday I'll be back to normal but this means being very watchful tomorrow (Thursday). And don't forget, I'm also trying to weigh less by the end of 2011! I'm now 56.5kgs, I hope to be 50kgs by year end.

I'll do my best but if I don't make it, I'll just keep trying till i do!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILLTBNAGART 10/12/2011 10:00AM

    I'm hoping by Friday you're back to normal to. Take care.

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I'm determined to beat this!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I don't know what's the matter with me these days! I just don't feel like exercising and I've been drinking like a normal person because of the hot wheater (I'm not supposed to, as I'm on dialysis).

As a result, I've been getting heavier and heavier, even my belly roll is getting bigger......

But you know what? No more! I WILL BEAT THIS!!! I'm going to discipline myself! I'll control my fluid intake and I'll exercise! I'll make a schedule and I'll follow it! No excuses!!! I'll also watch what I eat like a hawk!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AYLEA56 10/11/2011 7:46PM

    I know it can be hard. I have rough times too! I currently use a pedometer and wear it everyday and it does assist and encourage me to keep moving. You might like to give this a try, Creating a physical schedule will certainly help as well as keeping track of what you are eating. Be sure to reward your self on a regular basis even if its just gold stickers on your schedule. Maybe work towards a bigger reward as you keep it up. Just don't make it food.

emoticon emoticon

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4ANEWME2DAY 10/11/2011 10:58AM

    I'm right there with you. emoticon emoticon

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iPad blues........

Thursday, October 06, 2011

I'm itching to get an iPad, not the iPad2, thought it looks good atm but an iPad3, so I will have time to save up for one. This is because my parents have acquired a notebook quite recently.

My Dad actually asked for my advice, but at that point of time, we really needed a spare computer (in fact the notebook has been very useful in that). This is because both my Dad and I surf the net a lot and the problem was, there was only one computer, this faithful old desktop.

So, I figured, another computer around wouldn't hurt (an face it, an iPad is not a full computer, still, but it's a lot more portable). So, my parents went ahead and got a notebook.

But now, I began thinking how nice it would be to have an iPad to play with whenever I'm undergoing dialysis (if the new dialysis center [we're moving soon] has WiFi, that is). I thought of lugging the notebook but it's way too heavy and bulky. And don't forget, I only have one arm free when I'm on dialysis. I'm so afraid I might drop the notebook.

I've talked to my Dad, I mean, why can't we have both the notebook and iPad? They have different functions. I guess I'll have to save hard for an iPad3 and get it myself then. How can I persuade my Dad to get an iPad as well..........sigh!


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