EOWYN2424   116,051
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I just feel so unappreciated!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Because of financial and health problems, I'm currently still living with my parents. My only brother is also living with my parents because of financial problems, but my brother doesn't have health problems.

It's just that my Mom keeps focusing on what I don't do around the house. She turns a blind eye to what I do to help around the house. It's like what I do doesn't get noticed but what I don't do gets aired out frequently, with my Mom calling me useless etc. Well, what about the things I do!?

It's gotten so bad that now I don't even feel like doing anything at all, nothing I do is ever appreciated. My Mom goes out with her friends everyday, leaving the breakfast dishes undone, who does those breakfast dishes every morning? Me! But does she ever thank me? No! My brother also leaves his breakfast dishes in the sink every morning, who does it? Me!

Whenever my brother does something to help around the house, my Mom will thank him profusely and go on and on about it, but whenever I do something, it goes unseen and unappreciated.

Sometimes, I just don't feel like doing something because I'm tired or because I'm just physically incapable of doing it. I'm a dialysis patient, so the the arm with the access in it can't lift heavy loads. I also need lots of sleep particularly after my dialysis treatments. Also, I'm not a morning person.

All I'm saying is, I have my limitations but it's not like I do nothing around the house, it's just that no one notices. Sometimes, I just feel like leaving this house and let nature take it course so I just fade away for lack of dialysis and die, then they will finally notice the little things I do when I'm no longer there.

But that is just wistful thinking because that will be like suicide. And I don't think that brave or admirable but just a form of running away. I'm just so sick of the whole situation.

To say that the Chinese (I'm Chinese) only appreciate the sons and not the daughters is quite true, in my case, at least.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VK2Z10 6/9/2011 11:09AM

    WE here @ SP know that you are a wonderful person and do what you can to help. Nobody said this journey would be easy, but we will get through it and be better for it. Myself, my older sister is the "golden" child. She is very academically smart, but she severly lacks people smarts. My parents think she is wonderful, except for the fact that my sister doesn't want to acknowlege those special parent days (anniversaries, mother's day, probably father's day). who acknowledges ALL those days????????? ME (the one they think is stupid and unwilling to make changes to my appearance so i look anorexic like my mother). sorry, got off on a rant. my mother isn't healthy with her eating or exercising, and i don't want to copy her lifestyle. I am being healthy and making changes that I can live with. You keep going the way you are. Your mother will eventually realize you are wonderful and are indeed very helpful.

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SMURFETTE2423 5/31/2011 11:25AM

    Your situation STINKS! You do what you can, kid, and here are the Sparkpeople emoticon teams to give you the credit (and NONE, by the way, for your brother!): emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Here is the Sparkpeople Kickboxing team to show their support for you:
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Here is the Pirate Head chorale to sing "ARRGH! We think you are GREAT!":

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And here are all the emoticon animals to say, each in his/her own way, "You are a wonderful person; stay in this world with us if you can, please!":
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So, I think that everybody here agrees that you are a glorious human being. You have been through so much, hon. Don't give up now. Don't let the ungrateful ones make you give up. None of us on this Earth knows what tomorrow will bring and- who knows?- it may be something GOOD!Stick with us, kid! With much love and many hugs, Laurie

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LAURETTA1966 5/28/2011 12:42AM

    Hi EWOWYN,
There si nothing more difficult than tension with your home and Family.
As the others have said try to stay positive I know it is the most difficult thing to be right now. But the only one that can make you feel better is you. I was one of the worse negative self talkers Till one day I decided that I needed to work on All aspects of my healthy lifestyle, which of course included my emotional health. I had a lot of old baggage from a Family disput that was wieghing me down. The dipsut was with my sister, I was not able to speak with her in person so I say down and wrote a letter and got out everything I was feeling. It has been about 2 months now I have not gotten a response from her but My baggage is gone I was really able to relase the hurt.
I know your situtaion is a lot diffrent but I wanted to share with you as I had to focus on me in order to heal me.
I really do hope things get better for you
Look in the mirror and Smile then say to your self I am AWESOME!!! Because you are emoticon

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JCARDINAL 5/27/2011 12:37PM

    Coming from a family of 6 girls and 1 boy I know how you feel. We had to wait on my brother and he was always the golden child. Hope things improve.

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SMARTLOSER 5/27/2011 10:46AM

    Oh man I totally know how you feel. I got that a lot in high school. After going away for a while for college and visiting for summers I found my parents were a lot more appreciative of the extra help. I hope things get better for you... If you get the chance, give yourself a treat and see a movie or something sometime!

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EOWYN2424 5/27/2011 6:50AM

    Thank you all for your kind posts. I've posted this sort of stuff before, and from the replies I got, it's like things are not that much better in the US for women either.....Darn men!

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MELAPHANTN 5/26/2011 7:29PM

    I think all of us have our moments where we feel like this. I really appreciate you taking the time to blog and share your experiences with all of us.
Hope things look up for you soon!

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GEMINIAN1 5/26/2011 3:46PM

    Hi sweetie,
You are not alone.
I believe that, some, mothers have a very biased and disproportionate relationship with their sons.
I know, unequivocally, that mine does.
I've seen many, many instances of it in my life.

Don't be brainwashed by the negative talk; "useless", etc.
Hang in there; be confident; you are worthy.
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WILSON425 5/26/2011 12:54PM

    EOWYN HANG IN THERE. IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, WITH ALL THE HYPE ABOUT EQUALITY FOR WOMEN THAT WE ALL, NOT JUST THE CHINESE, ARE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND NOT APPRIECIATED. ALTHOUGH WITH YOUR HEALTH ISSUES YOUR MOM SHOULD GIVE YOU A BREAK.

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JOOPRINCESS 5/26/2011 11:48AM

    We appreciate you! Stick with the winners, babe.

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GRAMPIAN 5/26/2011 11:04AM

  I do hope things improve for you. emoticon

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JSIEVERT 5/26/2011 10:54AM

    keep your chin up! Sounds like you're in a tough situation, but know that it WILL get better! Try to look for the positive every day!

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IGUANA3 5/26/2011 10:53AM

  I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. Don't give up on you! You are worthy of all God's blessings, He is the lifter of our heads! I love that (a lot)!

You are in my prayers!
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Mini yams & focaccia sandwiches!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Well, my Mom and brother are away at the moment, visiting Singapore to spend some time with my Mom's younger sister. So, tonight, it's just me and my Dad. So, to fix a small dinner for 2 is my task today.

My Mom and brother left for Singapore yesterday morning, but the night before that (Sunday night), my Mom bought 2 focaccias for us. I'm planning to fill the focaccias with bacon ham, cheese & tomato, then I'm heating it on a flat pan so the cheese gets all gooey and melty! Yum! Can't wait!

In the meantime, to keep the munchies at bay, I'm steaming 2 mini yams, one for me and one for Dad. The yams are really small, a little bigger than a large chicken egg but packed with complex carbohydrate! Good for you, right?

Yup! I'm home alone atm, so I'm planning to get some exercise in before dinner, and I'll be going to home fellowship tonight too. So, I'd better move it as it's already half past 3! Gotta hang out some laundry too! Ta!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELAPHANTN 5/24/2011 10:46AM

    Sounds yummy! Enjoy your work-out.

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It's still a treat........

Monday, May 23, 2011

Lately, I've been fixated about getting a pair of low-waist skinny jeans that fit just so. Y'know, like a second skin but still comfortable. I actually had my heart set on a faded blue Levi's. Only that it's more than RM200!

I was debating with myself, should I get it now or when I've lost my belly roll? Well, because of lack of finances, I've been putting getting my Levi's off.

However, yesterday, I bought a pair of nice lacy hipster panties and a comfy seamless bra. And it wasn't too expensive but I now have less money in my savings.

Well, I guess, the skinny jeans will have to be the end goal treat, when I finally reach my goal weight and don't have a belly roll. In the meantime, I'll treat myself in other, less expensive ways.

I look at it this way, at least when I finally get my new jeans, I have a nice pair of hipster panties to go with it and a nice, seamless bra to go under my T-shirt!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EOWYN2424 5/27/2011 6:49AM

    yup! I love my new underwear, I'll be wearing it soon!

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JSIEVERT 5/26/2011 10:56AM

    keep working towards it! you can do it! It's amazing how a new pair of cute panties can make you feel soooo good, right?!

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MELAPHANTN 5/23/2011 7:35PM

    Good planning!
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RONALANA 5/23/2011 11:22AM

    By the time you get those jeans - you may need a size smaller! emoticon

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Ok, belly roll! Now I mean business...........

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Oh Lord! I hate my belly roll! I was trying on a pair of low-waist jeans today and my belly literally just spilled over the low waist!!!! I'm not kidding!!!! I was mortified, with myself and my darn belly roll!

That pair that I tried on was 50% off and was a really cute design. But after looking at the belly roll spilling over the waist, I decided that this time I mean business. I'm going to stop overeating and exercise regularly! Whatever it takes to lose that belly!

Then, when the belly roll is gone, I will look into buying cute new clothes!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELAPHANTN 5/23/2011 7:42PM

    You will get there!

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CAROLIAN 5/22/2011 5:07PM

    I think a high percentage of us women have belly rolls i liken mine to the michalin tyre man lol emoticon Hope you get your dream jeans let it be an incentitive to keep to your goals lol

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DLMULLINS70 5/22/2011 1:17PM

    Now, this is an "if you want to". Go ahead and buy those jeans as a either a goal motivator, or a reward for losing what has already been lost. I think the 'belly roll' is the last thing to go on us mommies! (I have five children and will occasionally shake my belly fat at them and say "This is you!"

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Nurturing the Child in me

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I went to the mall yesterday and I bought 3 pairs of adorable earrings! You can get 3 pairs of earrings there for RM10, not expensive at all, pretty cheap, actually. One pair had tiny egg burgers, another had tiny crab roll sushi and the 3rd had tiny hot dogs, all made of clay. I also bought a pair of daisy hair-clips (also made of clay).

Reading this, you may think I'm a teen or younger, but I'm almost 40! I will be in less than 2 years. But I don't care. I look young for my age, everyone tells me so. And as long as I can get away with it, I'll keep wearing cute things until I really look too old for them. But even when my age starts showing, I don't know if I can give up my hair accessory and earring collection. I guess I'll always be young at heart.

On an earlier trip, I also bought a bracelet from the same shop with a sandwich, a hotdog, a burger, a croissant in clay charms with a little pink bell. I really wanted to buy a sushi charm bracelet but I stopped myself because I didn't want to spend all of my RM50. I'm saving up for some Levi's jeans, so I need to be more careful with my spending.

However, I did buy a small bottle of gold nail polish. I'm now typing this with gold fingernails! How cool is that?! I also painted my toe nails in the same color! Cool, huh?

Actually, I don't care how old I get, I will always have the same sense of quirky style!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELAPHANTN 5/23/2011 7:45PM

    emoticon

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PETITFLOUR 5/23/2011 4:31AM

    keep the teen in you. Not many of us can do that.

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CAROLIAN 5/22/2011 5:04PM

    emoticon

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