Friday, November 02, 2012
My surgery went well. My eye is not quite settled yet and it is difficult to navigate the world right now--but I have no doubt that things are okay. there are no problems and it is about my eye healing and then, I need to get a prescription that will work with the new configuration of my eyes. My bifocals seems to make some problems--but now, my left eye is supposed to see close up better than before--and it does while my right eye has this amazing 20/20 vision, it doesn't seem to understand how to work with what the other eye is doing. It is way too early to figure this out considering the fact that I didn't leave the surgery center until 3 in the afternoon and it hasn't been 12 hours since it was traumatized. I'll share better information later.
I made it to my weigh-in tonight and I lost 1.4 pounds this week for my 9th week of recording a loss in a row. I was given a special token for losing 25 pounds--although a few of those were from back in February, it was a nice moment. I know more about me now because losing weight isn't as urgent as it used to be and I have had time to consider how this all works for me. I have had a lot of nice moments lately that have allowed me to see how I look and fit into clothing as well as to appreciate my work outs and my efforts. this was a reward for what I already am appreciating. I am getting closer and closer to that 20 pound goal by my hip surgery--and to my ultimate 30 pound goal as well. I think that my eye surgeries have given me a chance to see that I don't have to fall into old traps of comfort eating when I am uncomfortable or hurt/ hurting.
Today is our half day inservice and if I understand correctly, we are learning about the Common core State Standards in math. that has no place in my instructional duties, but I will look for something to take away from it. It may make for a long afternoon, but I will do what I can.
I'm looking forward to my weekend--I have an exam to study for and a project to work on. I will be busy. I start tomorrow with an early morning appointment with the eye surgeon that will be followed by a late start to my work day that will also end early.
I am hoping to fall asleep soon--I took an early nap, my body is in confusion mode. I do think I will try and celebrate my success with weight-loss and my surgical outcomes. It is a time to do that and to continue what works.
Have a great weekend and take time to reflect on your goals and your accomplishments. It can be hard to handle, but it is important to know where you stand.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Immediate pay off is a nice thing, but seldom is the result of anything I care about. However, I am learning that it does happen from time to time--and even on big ticket activities and that when it does occur, it is fabulous. I have also learned that the things that have a far more slow pay off rate are really rewarding because I can feel proud of the personal investment I have made.
Where does this come from? I am thinking about my first cataract surgery. I knew within hours that it was enormously successful and it made a world of difference in the way I see the world. Things were brighter and clear to see, colors were more beautiful and so were the lines and shapes around me. This is an amazing result to the procedure. I have only experienced the same result to a medical procedure two other times--one was when I had my cervical fusion surgery almost a year ago and the other is when I have these injections in my hip. (and the sad thing is that the last one that was just over two weeks ago is starting to wear off already. It is a good thing that my hip replacement surgery is on the calendar.)
However, I have had a wonderful experience over and over again in the past couple of weeks. It was brought on because I have been cleaning out my dresser and closets. It happened yesterday and purely by accident. About 5 years ago, I bought a box of clothing on ebay and one of the items I got was this cute purple Halloween jumper that was decorated with jack o'lanterns and other Halloween designs. I loved it and it was WAY, Way too small for me--no size marker. I put it on a hangar and thought, if I lost some weight maybe I could wear it. I had truly forgotten about it until early last summer when I started this cleaning activity of mine. I tried it on and it was still too small for me. I decided that I would be putting it in the Goodwill box. However, it didn't make it there for some reason. Yesterday, as I muddled over what this teacher needed to wear on Halloween, my youngest daughter produced it and told me that I should wear it. I quickly told her that it was too small for me. I went back to looking at my things and finally, I decided to try it. IT FIT!! It was so cute and I got compliments on it all day--and even they didn't mean as much as knowing that my efforts is why it fit.
That didn't happen because of some short term thing I took on. It is because I have a day after day commitment to myself and I am reaping the results of that work each and every day. It is hard living in my body, but my step is lighter and I am getting around faster and easier. I am content with the way I am eating and my family knows what to expect of me these days. I exercise happily and I do it every day. Finally, my doctors don't fuss at me about my weight and generally compliment me on what I have done. I can now wear every single item that I had put away for "until I lose some weight." I have this tiny new swimsuit that I had put away and it puts a smile on my face to wear it, mostly because I know how much time and effort went into getting it to fit me. I love the compliments I have gotten at the pool about how cute it is, knowing how it came to be on me.
Anyway, there are some good things with those immediate results, but they are also what I call "big ticket items" by nature. Most of the good things I am experiencing now are those that I have invested a good deal of time in--and those successes sure feel good. It is even nicer that I am experiencing those successes over and over again. I am in a pure celebration mode these days!! I sure owe SparkPeople a big thank you because it has been there day after day for me, even as I muddled through my big plateau that lasted for months and months. This has been worth waiting for. Now, I know I am not to my goal yet, but it is great to have these rewards now. They sure are great motivators.
My day has its own big ticket things coming. I have my second cataract surgery at 11:45. I am going to work a half a day prior to the surgery. It gives my morning students another bit of consistency and support after al of the crazy that went on yesterday and will definitely keep me too busy to think about the fact that I cannot eat. (Changing to someone who eats 5 meals a day is making this hard. My tummy is growling right now and it wants to know where the fruit I give it in the morning is at.) Anyway, I have a busy day at hand--and it doesn't end with the surgery because it is parent teacher conferences in my kids' school district today and we have to attend Micah's conferences. He is having a few problems getting adjusted to high school and I need to find out how to help him out. He is working hard and cares so much about his grades. That is a refreshing problem to have after three of my sons who I had to push, force, and coerce to do some of their assignments. It is not a good day for me to take this on, but from years of experience--25 next week--I know that my husband cant ask the right questions or get the right information to help him out. My husband either takes everything he hears from the teachers at face value or he goes in so angry about something that he doesn't hear anything. I am needed.
It is also my weigh-in day. I am not sure if I will go, but I did so well on my last cataract surgery day, I am thinking about it. It is something that I will figure out as the day goes by.
I have a lot on my mind today, but I have great expectations for the outcome. I hope that the rest of you have a good day--no a great day. I am looking forward to this new month that gives us all a chance to reach a goal or two and to get results that are either immediate or that are long-term. Both are awesome and I hope that everyone can feel the way I am feeling about my efforts right now.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I am in a bizarre mood for me. I just want to start arguments with people who have caused me grief lately--I don't mean little bits of grief, that's a part of life. I mean people who have gotten me upset and raised my blood pressure kinds of grief. that is not who I am and it is not my job to do such a thing. However, a very wise friend of mine reminded me that it is a lot easier to say "no" when you are feeling irritated. I sure hope that works for me on Halloween.
Today, when we were supposed to meet, nobody showed up until 3:25 when I was getting ready to leave for my doctor's appointment. (My friend Linda sure called that. It's probably a good thing that I didn't read her response to my Monday blog until after the event, ha ha.) Two of the others showed up then and as they asked enough questions to realize that there is nothing planned and we are in a real bind, they decided to go to talk to the principal about sending notes home to parents and announcing a date change. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how that played out, but I am betting that the principal won't go for that. this is when I have to be able to say "No." I am not going to put this on my back, my friends. I teach back to back lessons without a break on any given day except Wednesday and that is getting to be a heavy load due to the nature of the kids I see. (I have many who are having serious problems and who are not having easy success. I am digging deep into my toolbox to find strategies and ideas for getting their reading skills to grow. Many of these same children also have some behavior problems that also take a good deal of energy--so my plate is really full.)
This is not the only situation that is bugging me. I also have had a lot of problems with one of the lifeguards at the pool. She doesn't do anything and on at least two occasions, I have taken abuse at some wayward youth hands because she sits, flirting with whatever random male shows up and ignores the things they are doing. It is really bugging me, so I filed a written complaing over the weekend on a comment card that is meant to praise one's favorite staff member. This young lady needs to get her act together and I am a bit weary of seeing her sit and do little and nothing, often putting people in danger by her inactivity.
I am grumpy. I don't know if it is pain, fatigue, over-work, tension, "diet rage," dealing with our car problems and the resulting financial problems that correspond, or what. However, I know me and I know that I am having a hard time just handling things my way and I want to hold people around me accountable in a way that fits their crimes.
Maybe it is the full moon--or Halloween??
Maybe it is thoughts of my pending surgery on Thursday. However, now that I have done this once, I know what is coming and the outcome is wonderful--so that doesn't make sense.
I don't like being taken advantage of and I don't like being treated unfairly. I look at the duty schedule and I know that I have twice as many turns as some of my colleagues and the principal who wrote this beings out the worst in me. I have to go to work early in order to do this duty and that is not fun given the fact that sometimes I sit up all night and have finally fallen asleep in the morning. Ok, I know that isn't her fault, but assigning us duty that requires us to be to work before our contracted time is her fault and not distributing these opportunities fairly is her fault. Also, I am still trying to collect paperwork for the tutoring program from other teachers that clearly says it is due to be turned in by August 24 on it. That is her fault too, because she lets them do such things all of the time instead of requiring them to meet assigned deadlines. This is often a problem for me and I cannot complete my work without their data.
Anyway, right now--in this time and place, I am grumpy. I want to get over it and feel like me. Do you think chocolate or sleep or ??? will get me over this? I need to get a grip.
Any thoughts and ideas would be gladly appreciated. I could use some help!
Take care of yourselves and don't go where ever it is that I am at.
Monday, October 29, 2012
As if I weren't busy enough, we have a parent night scheduled for November 15 and it has been delegated to our "reading cadre" to do. We had an organizational meeting in early August and nobody has spoken of anything since. I wanted to make it a "reading lock in" for the families and hold break out sessions for the parents to attend during the evening. the others wanted to invite an authour to come and present to the families. It was left with some of them to hunt some authors up. We just had an author night at our school and I think it is too much to do the same thing again. Maybe, I am not meant to help with this!
Anyway, today, we got an email from the principal saying that we had to do it, the parents were told at their meeting that we were doing it and to expect it. There are 6 of us in the group and at least half cannot help out. I have no clue where this is going, but I am feeling like there will be a lot of work for whoever gets this on their plate and personally, I am meeting myself coming and going.
I sent the entire school an email telling them we would have a meeting right after school tonight and if they couldn't come, they needed to send a return email and let us know and they needed to share their ideas. So far, I have had two emails from people saying that they couldn't come and there were no ideas at all. Oh boy, it will be interesting to see how this comes out.
Share your thoughts...
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Today was a historical day for our church. We chose a new pastor after our search committee spent hours and weeks and months looking. She preached today and was quite comfortable with us while finding a way to give encouragement and motivation. She did a nice job with the children and the pastoral prayer as well. It was a good service and when we had our congregational meeting to vote, things were fairly quick and easy. Her name is Mariah or "Pastor Mariah" and we are ready foir some leadership. I like the fact that she has experience with refugees and the community that we serve. I think she will continue the programs that Michael started and build upon them. It makes me quite happy to know that those programs will be safe.
This week will be a lot less frantic than last week was. I have a doctor's appointment after school on Tuesday, my class on Halloween Wednesday, my cataract surgery on Thursday afternoon, and a follow-up with the eye surgeon before school on Friday. Friday is a half day inservice program and as soon as our principal lets me know which grade level meeting to go to, I will be attending something. I have my duty day on Halloween, and that is my only day to go to school early this week.
When I got to school on Friday, I had a ghost picture in my room mailbox along with a bag full of Halloween candy. The note basically said that I had been "booed" and it is now my turn to do the same to two other people. Awesome, I needed a bag of candy. Anyway, I haven't opened it yet and I left it at school. I think I will give it to my 14 year old on Halloween since he is too old for trick-or-treating and too young for parties. He is kind of lost this year as to what he should do on Halloween. I think his oldest sister might take him to a couple of haunted houses.
We still don't have our little car up and running. Besides the limitations on when we can go where, it is costing us a fortune to keep filling the jeep up with gas. I sure wish that the guys could get that car fixed--they only have a couple of things lest to do on it, but apparently they are tricky to do. Since I cannot even open the hood, lol, I cannot fuss or complain about this.
Anyway, that's about it for now in my world. Things are both changing and staying the same, but all are getting better. I lost .8 this week, so I am still well on my way to my goal. YAY!
Best wishes on your goals as well!
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