Saturday, December 24, 2011
I wish I was creative and could do things like write poetry. I can envision what this one would look like... "Twas the night before Christmas Eve and all through the house, everyone was sleeping except me who was fretting and stewing and worrying unnecessarily..." Yep, we are almost there and I am thinking and list writing to make sure I get all of the things that must be done tomorrow done. Nothing big is left except picking up Christmas gifts that are stored in my classroom and in my son's apartment.
I have worked hard this week. School has been tricky with little kids who were having so many visions of sugar plums that reading wasn't very interesting at first. There was a good deal of performing by this (and every other teacher) in our school. I also dealt with schedule changes for lots of special events and my own medical appointments--one of those which has added a good deal of stress in my life. I'll share that later.
Anyway, today was the oddest day of all and the thing that came of it, was that I push me harder than anyone else. I worked harder today when I technically had no lessons (but with one little guy who came for half of our lesson before the all-building celebration movie period.) That was my quietest time too, when I sat and watched a lot of kids watching "Cars 2."
After work, I went to the pool and then to complete shopping. It was all compounded by the fact that I forgot to change my pain patch yesterday as scheduled. Wow, that made me hurt a great deal. I lifted lots of boxes today and cleaned and worked myself silly. Now I am all strung out and cannot quite rest.
I fully expect tomorrow to be fine and we will all be together at church at 4:30 and at 10:30 to celebrate Jesus' birthday. That makes the rest of this fall into place. My daughter will be singing and we often have a world class violinist at Christmas. I will try to video tape to share with you all.
Merry Christmas--Jesus is born!!
Monday, December 19, 2011
The past week was busy enough. I had therapy on Monday, my injections on Tuesday, finished my class project on Wednesday and worked all day before having my carpal tunnel surgery, and finished wrapping gifts slowly but surely on Thursday. Friday and Saturday were mostly about shopping for the last few items I needed and the kids. I did go to WW on Saturday before going to my two youngest kids' vocal music recital. Micah was not great with lots of nervousness and Marissa was the most impressive student this voice teacher has. I cry when I hear her sing. Today, she had an oboe solo along with the church choir and it was really spectacular too. I missed her band concert on Wednesday after my surgery--she had 4 solos in it because there is only one oboe player at this time and my husband was so proud of her.. That says a lot because he often stays aloof and avoids these kinds of things.
This week is going to be, uh, interesting... I have a doctor's appointment tonight, two on Tuesday--injections on my friend and a follow-up to my D&C, and I see the cataract surgeon on Wednesday. My vision is really changing and I see double when anything is close up, i is making me crazy and slowing down a lot of what I do. Report cards have to be completed on Thursday for distribution on Friday, the last day of school. I am going to need my kids to step to the plate again and do a lot of things for me in order to be ready for Christmas. It will be in their court to figure out a lot of the details and take care of things this year because I will be at work. I also am walking at the pool since I cannot get my hand wet and am riding the bike (until stitches come out on the 27th). Some parts of my schedule cannot be negotiated. That leaves me time for organizing and putting things in order for others to do to help me.
I did pretty well typing one-handed here...time to get ready for work now!!
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or Seasons Greetings or whatever your pleasure is... Take care of yourselves on this buy, busy week!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
We just got back from seeing the play that Megan has been working on as the costuming director and crew member. It was such good fun--It was the story of a fairly goofy bunch of people in a town called Tuna, Texas who were finishing up their Christmas efforts on Christmas Eve, These people were all played by two male actors and they did their roles wonderfully. Their characters included a couple of local radio DJs, several older women in all stages of redneck depression, various dumb criminal types, and a few others to connect the relationships. It was so funny and Megan did a good job in fitting this very large man in women's clothes that were appropriate for the situations. I recognized some of them as my former fat clothing that I had packed to give away. I am glad that she went through it and made her job easier.
The saga with my missing doctor has me so sad. I googled her and found out her husband's name and left a message for her to phone me. His practice is part of the same hospital--so I don't know if they are leaving town. I don't know if she can contact me. I am just so sad about all of this.
I have a really bad feeling that I damaged my right shoulder when I fell. The rest of my body is almost back to "normal" except for bruises. However, my shoulder is not doing the same and the pain is not allowing me to lift my arm. Having just went through a rotator cuff injury on the right, I am recognizing some of the same feelings. I think I am going to have the nurses at the surgery center ask for a double appointment when they do the follow up after my surgery Wednesday so my ortho can check out my shoulder. Maybe it needs another injection--I don;t quite know. I do know that it isn't good--I can't take things off of the upper shelves of my bookcases and I cannot swim either freestyle of the back crawl stroke which takes a bit away from my workout. (Yes, I got to go back to the pool yesterday. Yay, it felt so good!)
My tutoring after school ended on thursday. I decided that since I was doing it on my own time that I didn't have to keep dealing with the serious behavior problems this child was presenting. I couldn't get help from the parent or the administration in our building, so I sent home a message asking for a phone call or I wouldn't keep tutoring. Mom never called. In all of my time teaching, I have only done this kind of thing twice and I am feeling terrible because I know that I am this kid's best chance to be successful as a reader. However, I also think when I am volunteering almost an hour a night after school that it needs to be productive. I will probably start working with another child after school after our winter break. It is a gift that I like to give to kids.
My class ended on Thursday except for the final project. I need to get it, my report cards, and my Christmas cards finished before Wednesday. It looks like my surgery isn't going to be until ridiculously late--3:30 with a 2:15 pre-op time. I may work almost a full day. It will be better than trying to not eat or mostly, sip water all day.
I have Children's church tomorrow after the children's Christmas play. Then we have a potluck and a party to welcome new members into the church. This is a special one because Mitchell's girlfriend is one of those new members. I will have to work on eating wisely!!
Have a great weekend and stay warm!!
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
I am not sure why the phrase "scary bad" came to mind for me, but I think it just fits this situation. Our youngest son, Micah was terribly afraid of storms when he was small--now he loves them and cannot get enough of them. He knows miniscule details about the weather and loves to share them. (We decided to get books about storms to help relieve him of the fear he had as a small boy because he would have full-fledged panic attacks when a thunderstorm happened.) Maybe the snow that is falling and sticking to the ground as of 8AM brought this thinking on... back to my topic!
I decided to call my wonderful spine doc yesterday to let her know about my fall and how it was affecting me in every way before my injections for today. I was flabbergasted and beyond disappointed when the nurse who answered the phone told me that "Dr. Miller is no longer with us." What? I saw her a week and a half ago and we set up appointments and a plan for me for treatments for the next 6 weeks. I tried to get more info, but Nicole was tight-lipped. She told me that there would be "3 docs from upstairs who would be coming to share Dr. Miller's patients and provide care." I didn't sign up for anything like that. I want my wonderful doctor who has listened and found my issues and who gave me the best summer I have had in 8 years. I told her that I would come for the appointment, but that I wasn't guaranteeing that I was signing on for these "guys."
I fretted for a while and I finally called my pain doc. When I saw him last week, we celebrated the fact that I had a new, wonderful doctor. He talked about letting her do my pain management work or sharing my care with her--it was my choice. (What a wonderful choice to have between two amazing, caring doctors!) I decided to call Dr. F and tell him what had taken place. I pushed my way past "Nurse Ratchet" the gal who won't let me get to my doc as a rule by reminding her that I have Dr. F's home and pager numbers and that I would call him that way, but I would prefer to leave him a message. It actually worked and he called me. I told him what was up and after we were frustrated together, he told me that he had an idea--and that he would call me back. Unfortunately, his idea didn't work. He had his nurse call her so he could discuss something with her and all he got was shut out as well with the comment "She is not with us anymore."
It is my guess that the hospital let her go unceremoniously because she refused to herd patients through at a speedy enough pace, taking time to talk with us and find out everything she needed to know to provide good treatment. I saw my psychologist last evening and he confirmed that this could happen. He also told me to keep my eyes open and to watch the internet because often docs in this situation have to comply with a non-compete clause before coming back in a private practice or with another group. (That, of course wouldn't happen if they let her go, only if she chose to leave their company.)
In any case, I am definitely upset. She has been the answer to my dreams. Dr. Collins was so mean and destructive with me that I needed her kindness and willingness to accept that I needed further treatment. I will be looking for more information about her. I will see the "guy" today but I cannot guarantee that he will do my injection. My pain doc can do them and I will wait to decide on this person until I meet him, learn more about consistency of care, and my comfort zone in all of this.
This really is a setback that I didn't need.
Monday, December 05, 2011
I didn't realize that I haven't blogged in so long. I wonder what happened to the one I remember doing about my vision (??) Anyway, I will try to fill in a few blanks.
Last week was q big deal in my world of health. I saw the eye doctor on Tuesday. It turns out that I have 3 types of cataracts growing on each eye. I didn't know that there were "lots of different kinds of cataracts." I have two growing on the outside of the lens--both are slow growing cataracts. One is the regular pinpoint in the center of my eye type. The other is like the "spokes of a wheel" branching from the center of my eye to the outside. The ones causing the problem are on the inside of my lens and are like "someone dipped a paintbrush in gray paint and then just painted down the middle of my eye." It has not manifested the same in either eye and is causing me to have triple vision on the left while it also is blocking light from entering One the left eye, it is interfering with my distance vision. Neither of them match up and their rapid growth has significantly impaired my vision. (I knew that part!) I have an appointment with the cataract surgeon on Dec. 20th to set up surgery to remove them. It might be a bit expensive, but I may be eligible to get a lens implant that will make it possible for me to see without glasses. Of course we will commit to that financially--that is a tremendous gift. I will find out in a couple of weeks.
On Wednesday, I had an accident. We were int he grocery store and I sat on my walker. I hadn't noticed that a wheel was coming loose. It came off and my walker flew several feet down the aisle. I did a 180 degree flip and landed on my left arm and hip in a twisted position. the wheel was about 15-20 feet down the aisle. There were several people besides my daughter hovering around me when I got my bearings straight and figured out where I was and what happened. Somebody went and got me a motorized cart to use and I pulled myself to it. I realized that I had no idea how I was going to get up, given the fact that I cannot climb on my knees since I have knee replacements. A very nice gentle man--an older guy--simply lifted me to my feet. I am lucky he was so strong and so helpful. I was hurting everywhere and still kept my tears to myself until I got into the car. I got home and put ice bags on my shoulder, knee and hip, took pain meds and finally fell asleep.
On Thursday, I realized that I couldn't really push my walker because of the severe pain in my left shoulder and arm. I went to work long enough to teach my morning group and then to let the principal know I had to go to the ER. This turned out to be the meanest experience of my life. They did a work-up on me and determined that I had pain in my neck. I tried to explain to them that I had degenerative arthritis in my neck and that I had a report explaining that with me, but they weren't interested. They put a hard cervical collar on me and then made me lie flat on my back. That overrode all of my other pain--I tried to tell them about my back and it's previous surgery and that I sleep in a recliner, but they were concerned that I may have fractured my neck k. (Note to self, never let anyone know about neck pain!! Then, they put in an IV and it only took them 2 attempts after leaving nasty bruises on both of my arms. Even the pain of those sticks didn't relieve what was happening to my lower back. I was in that position for over 45 minutes as they did a C-T scan of my neck. The final nurse that I saw lifted the end of the cart up so it was at a 90 degree angle. That was the nicest gift ever. My back, particularly the lower right side and hip, has not gotten over that abuse yet. After that, they were able to do xrays of my left shoulder, knee, elbow, and hip and determined that all of my pain and discomfort is due to bruising and sprains. They gave me a sling and offered me pain meds, but I have those for my back and had already tried some. They may work better on the pain as I heal and it shows improvement. As time has gone on, some of this is showing improvement, but I am also having pain on other areas of my body--it was quite a spectacular fall. I followed that 6 hour hospital visit with a nap, my Thursday night class, and a trip to the pool to try and relieve my aching body.
I was able to have my surgery on Friday, in spite of all of this. It was scheduled for the same hospital but a different location. The were quite kind and gentle with me. They slipped the IV in without a bit of trouble. They purposely put it in my left arm because they knew the OR staff would treat it more gently because of the IV. They lifted the back of the cart in the OR for me which seemed to bother the anesthesiologist. The nurses insisted and I stayed in that position at least until I fell asleep. It will take a week to two weeks to get a report on if my uterine polyps were cancerous or not. I am inclined to believe that they weren't since my cervical biopsy was negative for cancer.
I stayed home from my weekend class after that 6.5 hour hospital visit. I had a nice lunch and took several naps. My poor body was awful. I had to (have to) use my right hand to move my left arm. My left hip has a rock on the inside of it. I am a mess and moving is unpleasant. I am now under doctor's orders to not use a pool, hot tub, or bathtub. I have tired walking and bicycling to give myself some relief and to loosen my painful muscles. I am going to work on Monday. I have an appointment for injections on Tuesday and I am hoping my wonderful back doc will help me out.
This might be an explanation why I haven't posted in a while. I think I am weary of pain and this body right now--I know I will come around soon...
Take care of yourselves--It is important!!
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