Sunday, January 11, 2009
Hi there--Wow, my friends have all been hovering around this week. I have been up and down and all over the place in virtually every corner of my life. It is very odd to be on this ride and I'm not sure what to think is going on. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow--for refills on my meds and I am wondering if I should talk to him about all of this. Most likely, he will change my meds--and well, I'm a bit nervous for that to happen. I may need to research some of the drugs for depression. One thing I can swear to is that my weight was coming down regularly, a pound or two a week until I started on prozac and I have battled ever since with weight. I was at my goal when this started some five or six years ago. I have had so many surgeries and conditions since then, I let that go in my brain.
I was pretty excited with the knowledge of the Vitamin D information on Monday and was pretty boggled down with the people I work with creating roadblocks to my new schedule, because of many absurd reasons and because they were wrapped up in their own world, refusing to look at things in my world, the building level. I didn't get to see students until FRIDAY!! That upset me to no end.
My children have been children this past week--busy, sometimes kind and angelic, sometimes sassy and annoying, and sometimes not so cooperative either at home or at school. One of my sons got a detention--no big deal except he is one of my kids who has never been in trouble. My son who is a senior is managing to fail two mandatory classes and could care less. My youngest son has been ditching homework and notes from his teacher. And, nobody has done any chores.
I have had one late work night after another this week as well. I didn't get home on time one night--and Thursday was long after 6. I haven't eaten well and all I had focused on was trying to get time for exercise and boot camp. On Friday, I left work and was home shortly after4. I fell asleep for quite a long time and woke up and slept again. I did some exercise Saturday and today and I slept. But today, I also came unglued. I cried and cried and picked a couple of arguments with my family--see above paragraph for details.
Now, I;m here dealing with a nasty headache--waiting for some pain relief--over laundry and one of my naughty kids going out to a movie on a school night. I didn't go to school and do my lesson plans, so I am heading for work at 4:30 ish. I? am a train wreck. I have thought about this vitamin D and I am praying that the reason this is not changing yet is the severity of my deficiency. Tomorrow is my second big dose of Vit. D--maybe I'll improve.
Finally, the thing left is Boot Camp. I am so awful that the videos have fallen into my dreaded "I can't" list. I can't walk down the hall at school without clutching my walker until I find the nearest chair. my back pain is horrendous, even with the meds and treatments and all. I am so frustrated with this. Every time I hit one of the "I can'ts, I find myself frustrated as I slink into the land where I try to find another answer and another way to get to my great big goal of good health and living like everyone else.
I haven't even logged in yet today, so I'm going to scoot. Again, a big thanks to all of my team friends--OA of the back, my basset hound team, the DWD posse--all of you guys sending sunshine, slobbery hellos and other encouragement have kept me from falling on my face. I do believe that I have a combination to unlock the way to my goal. Take care!!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Hello Friends, New and Vintage:
I love that word, vintage. A friend of mine taught us to refer to ourselves as vintage teachers not old or older or experienced...and it grew on me as a way to describe myself. My experiences in life are valuable and so is something vintage, so it just fits everyone nicely, no matter what the age.
Actually, D is my big letter of the day. It's all about D...Vitamin D deficiency. Wow, I have a possible answer and some medical information that needs to be shared with everyone. When I saw my family doctor about a month ago, he did yet more lab work on me. He wanted to check on my thyroid and a couple of other things and on my Vitamin D level. It turns out that they hadn't been able to catch up with me, but the doctor had been trying like crazy to speak with me. I had my follow-up appointment tonight and it turns out that my Vit. D level was 18 point something. The acceptable level is between 90 and 150, I think the doctor said. He was quite concerned and ordered a weekly big dose of Vit. D for me to take for the next 8 weeks. It made him decide to check on some other vitamin and mineral things and to check on my anemia as well. The nurse who did my lab work told me that she had once had a Vit d deficiency that wasn't as low as mine, but the day after she took her first dose, it was unbelievable. Her energy level was back and she felt better in so many ways that she couldn't believe it.
There are so many effects from being low on Vit d that it is unbelievable--and yes, I have many of them. Achiness in the muscles, fibromyalgia type discomfort, fatigue, inability to sleep, depression, overall malaise...the list went on and on. I did a check online when I got home and got the same information repeated on several different sites. My husband picked up my prescription and I took one ASAP. I promise to post if I get my energy feelings, and just plain feelings of myself back quickly. I am hoping that maybe, just maybe, the answer has been found to help me get back to being myself. It also helps a bit to know that there really has been a problem for some of the issues that have been hurting me.
I am delighted to realize that I may be better so quickly. I'll let you all know!! Thanks for standing with me through this--and even on the chance that this might not help me, I am so glad to have you all here to keep me smiling and going.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Let's take every good thing from 2008 to carry over into 2009!! I am going to carry over many things from 2008--my husband; my children (when they are cooperating with each other, lol), my basset hound, Lady and my son 's half golden lab/half dachshund, Scooter; the cats that we are caring for; my church and my faith; working with children; my friends--of course, I'd love to add more, teehee; most of my doctors; music; beauty; humor; my family and myself having jobs in this economy;
I am thankful for those things and there are many more, that's why I left it unfinished. Last evening, we finally ended up at a pizza restaurant for dinner. Whew, it was terribly difficult to get a consensus on where to go to. There were several video games, so that took a few major hands full of quarters and dollar bills to become quarters from the beginning. They ordered 4 pizzas for all of us and soda. I only ate one piece of taco pizza--I think my plan from during the day worked more than I imagined. If I had eaten any more, it would have left me feeling ill. We did get a couple of medium pizzas to take home for the others who didn't come--and I didn't eat any of those either. I did have a couple of glasses of wine last night with the adults in my family. We played games like on Christmas day and we watched the ball drop. The younger kids went to sleep and the rest of us just chatted and watched some TV until it was time for each person to go to sleep. It was a satisfying evening.
My husband prepared meals today with the things I planned and purchased yesterday. My 16 year old took me shopping yesterday and I bought a kitchen full of healthy foods. That was good for him and me. We had fun together and he got to see what decent grocery selection looks like. My husband likes to buy what we need as we need it and we end up with some poor choices. Shopping is a tricky activity for me because of the limited amount of time that I can walk at one time. I chose to try to walk yesterday and got through about a third of the store before my son went and got me a wheelchair, I do not like using those because people seem to treat me a bit rudely when I use the motorized ones and it is a slow ride if I try to turn the wheels on the other type. I think those chairs are for people who cannot walk, but it seems as if they are reserved for the entire obese community. People already think that obese people are lazy already and I don't want to be a part of that. Anyway, it took us about an hour and a quarter to shop and an hour to wait in line and check out. I bought lots of veggies--fresh, frozen and canned and fresh fruits. I bought lots of full grained breads and rice and pasta (Yes, it does cost more--but I explained that since it is better for us, I can justify it.) I also bought some low fat/calorie snacks because I eat at least 5 times a day when I am focused on weight loss and good health. I hope I helped this bright high school junior things about shopping that he needed to know rather than my husband's brand of how to take frequent grocery visits that result in some unhealthy eating in the long run. (Note to the world--it is very difficult for me to go shopping, so I really need and appreciate the help I get. When I go back to work, my plan is to give the guys well written lists when they go shopping so that we aren't all dependent on their quick, get what looks good style of purchasing. We can work together in a better way!!)
My pain and mobility issues are a big problem. This worries about my commitment to the bootcamp. All I can say is that I know what I can do and I will do my best. I have to make a decision about the use of my big back brace as well. I have the doctor's permission to take it off, but it really hurts at work when I am not wearing it. It has been 6 months since my surgery and that doesn't really indicate that I should need it any more. I do notice that when I am not wearing it, my posture droops more and more and as I curl up more and more, my pain increases more and more. My husband and I talked today and we are considering replacing the batteries in my wheel chair and taking it to work, so that when I have to walk longer distances, I have it. My doctor hasn't had me have any therapy yet because he really wants me to go slowly in becoming independent. I am also going to try to get to the pool three times a week, possibly joining some classes in water walking or arthritis classes. The down side to this will be the expectations that I will be traveling to a second school if I am no longer wearing my brace and am able to drive again. It is more difficult than one might suspect being a teacher who travels from one building to another and back during the course of the day. That exaggerates greatly when part of what is traveling includes a walker and any other medical needs. It is a bit like being punished if my health really improves. I believe that I see the doctor in 4-6 weeks and maybe he will shed his light on these concerns.
I have a lot of unanswered questions, but I have very clear goals. I want to continue teaching children to read, especially those who have had some problems in other situations. I know that they all can learn as long as they are believed in and if the teacher has patience and skill to bring them along. I can do that and I love the opportunity. This goes along with the things that I began today's blog with. I have great things in my life and to do. The things I do will be to help me maintain what I have and to further develop my skills as a teacher and a parent.
That's it for now--I want all of my SP friends to have 2009 be what they want it to be. If I can help you to get there, please let me know because I would love to be a part in helping any of you meet your goals. That would be a pleasure and an honor.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
We are going out to eat for New Years Eve. I'm waiting for my hisband to get home from taking our son to a party. There will only be 7 of us going because one of my other sons is at work and one is sleeping to get ready to work the night shift. We seldom go out to eat together because it is really expensive to do with a family of ten. That makes everyone excited. Personally, I have saved most of my calories and filled up all day with fruits, veggies, and water--so things are good. I just joined the Bootcamp challenge and am looking forward to big changes in my life for the coming year.
The kids are pulling on me and I need to sign off. Happy New Year to all--and I'll be back to share more with you later!!
Hugs to all, Sylvia
Monday, December 22, 2008
What a week last week was! This week will start out hectic but will settle down to be admired like a piece of art or a well made craft. I just realized that the holiday is a piece of art that is laced with the love of all involved. Every gift we choose, item of food we bake, cookie we decorate, hymn that we sing...all gets woven together into the fine silk of Christmas aqand the most Perfect Gift of all.
Last week was about finishing the semester at school...I needed to write my progress reports. I have no form, I write a page or so that describes what we have been working on, what the child does well, whaqt the child needs help with, how their behavior helps or hinders their efforts, and what their family caqn do to support us in our work together. I can do some copying qanqd pasting on the description of whaqt we are working on per grade level, but the rest is a individualized report taken from pages of notes that I have tqaken and student work. It took all week to write aqll 53 of those. I didn't get here (at SP) too much because I was tied up with doing a good job on behalf of my kids. I have to share some of the love though...
Last Sunday was the children's program at church. Our music director pulled up aq program about the little stars who chatted and worried and dreamed as they awaited the birth of the baby Jesus. It was special because she used it a bit differently about 12 years ago when my biggest guys were 12 and 14 and they played the roles of the wise men. This time, my 16 and 17 year old sons were the wise men. This time my 13 myear old daughter had the beautiful solo piece--12 years ago, my older daughter was only 8, so she did the solo in the children's part. I saw this play a bit differently given the roles of my children.
The high school choir had their winter program last Sunday as well. It is a guaranteed gift of the holiday. They did such a beautiful collection of holiday songs--and they finish with a "mass chour" of all the groups who sang doing "The Hallelujah Chorus" followed byh "Silent Night" as a processional exiting number. In the middle of the program, they announced the 2 state choir qualifiers from our tiny school district. I was thrilled to find out one is my 16 year old son. Again, when my second oldest son was a junior, he went to state as well. I have awesome, gifted, talented, wonderful children (most of the time).
We had a lot of really awful weather last week--getting much nastier and dangerous this week that twisted through a lot of things...My yhoungest son had a sore throat and a slight fever, so I kept him home Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday morning, I had to go for an unpleasant meeting about my 17 myear old. He is close to not graduating this year because of really awful grades in a couple of classes. It had the look of yet another similar meeting that I have sat through semester after semester with this child. He reads too much (???) and gets detentions where they have him sit and read to make up for the heinous behavior that caused the problem. The meeting wasn't nearly as horrible as I anticipated--they finally were on the same page with me, tryhing to help him do better instead of trying to punish him. He was free to come to this meeting because in his auto repair class he has done so well that he didn't have to take the final. I think he will pill this out, in any case. I also got to have some quiet time with my husband, riding with him to school and back to my school. We don't seem to get much time like that these days.
My little guy went to school on Wednesday, only to be sent home eaqrly because he was still not feeling well...qand then they sent everyone home early thaqt day, caqncelling my dqaqughter's band aqnd choir holiday show. She waas upset because she had one of two vocal solos in the junior high prograqm and they chqanged the time of the program to noon on Friday when we wouldn't be able to go. The weather was pretty bad, lots of ice and then freezing.
This entire week was our "Secret Santa" week at school and I had drawn the custodian's name. I snooped a bit and found out that he collected goat "stuff" because he raises some special goats on his farm. I searched eBay and found him some great things and had so much fun surprising him with the help of our secretary. I always love surprising someone and this was special because I found things that he had never run across before. My little guy was still under the weather on Thursday, so we kept him home again. Thursday was our assistant principal's last day and he treated us all to a big sub-sandwich to share for lunch as well. Of course, there were predictions of horrid weather again, so the rest of my kids were all sent home at 11:15. My second oldest was such a help with driving and so many things--shopping and cooking. He took me to the doctor and helped me with my brace and just everything. He helped me and made an egg casserole for me to take to the Friday breakfast potluck. I got to go to the party because my kids were all home with big kids to help with the younger ones and I could safley leave early. It was fun and our Secret Santa was exposed. Mine was my principal--she gave me some really thoughtful gifts on Friday--a special National Boards lanyard because she thinks I should flaunt my credentials. She gave me a beautiful hand painted bag for my walker. It is whie painting of the Nativity on dark blue denim, witl three pockets for carrying things labeled "love" "peace" and "joy." There were other sweet things--craft items etc...and they were obviously chosen with me in mind. It was sweet. And my custodian friend got his "big" gift from me--I found a "dairy sign maker" on eBay that made those heavy metal address signs with a goat topping it--he was so tickled. That made my day. The real beauty of the day is that since school was canceled on Friday, they have to reschedule my daughter's jr. high concert so I will get to hear it.
I love these things...and today things were a bit dismantled at church. It was the Chaqncel Choir's big musical, but with the really nasty weather on Saturday night, our organist and our choir director were both snowed in and then the wind drifted snow and they just couldn't get out of their house. The many talented musicians in our church shuffled hings around and the choir will do their big musical piece at the Christmas Eve candlelight service. The really interesting part was that until I saw today's bulletin with the order of service, I had no idea that my second oldest son had a big solo for today. I'll have to wait until Wednesday night to hear that.
I am so blessed. I didn't mention any of my pain or health issues...because all of this love and beauty around me has kept them pushed out of the forefront. They are lurking and with the cold in the negative double digits around here through Tuesday afternoon, arghh!!
I love the holidays...I have lots and LOTS to do today, but since it is out of love and for love and to celebrate the greatest Love ever, it will be fun. I am looking forward to every bit of it. If I haven't taqlked to you lately, I will. I am working on lots of things for the ones I love and I surely include many of you too!
Hugs and love to you all,
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