Monday, January 24, 2011
Right now I am sitting at the hospital in my daughter's room. Megan was at the movie with a friend when she called and said she was coming home to get our insurance cards. She had a severe pain in her back and it was starting to hurt up to her shoulder. She and her friend went to the ER around 8 and at 11 PM, she called us to tell us that they were transporting her to the main hospital. I was already in "bed" and doing my late night posting on SP--I got dressed quickly and my husband and I got to the hospital before the ambulance had even left with her. It turns out that she has a blood clot in her lung. I know little about this (yet) but it is pretty serious. She has been poked and prodded. They are giving her injections that according to the nurse cost "thousands and thousands" of dollars--they are some kind of blood thinners and she will be on them and medicine for some time to come. Right now they have her on oxygen and a heart monitor and are trying to get to the bottom of everything.
Miles had a nice birthday on Saturday. Several of the kids ended up going out, so we didn't have birthday cake until Sunday (before the hospital issue came up.) I had a small piece before I looked up the Weight Watchers points on a 3" square piece of iced cake--9, holy cow. Oh well, I don't eat such stuff often--and I didn't even eat the entire piece, so it was okay.
I am going to attend to my daughter now--even at 22, she is still my baby.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
I'm sorry I haven't been around much all week, but when I share what has been going on in my world, I think you'll understand. I suspect some of you who know me well enough to know I can be guilty of working too hard and pushing myself too hard, will fuss at me a bit--and I know I deserve it.
Tuesday, I left work after the children left long enough to go to physical therapy and then I came back to school for our parent night with the author who visited our school. (David Nieves, author of "Reptiles Up Close" and "More Reptiles Up Close." I finished a bit after 8 and then went straight home, skipping he pool due to the late hour.
Wednesday, I had a meeting at the church with the summer initiative group and I had to leave it early for a doctor's appointment. I rode with my son and for some reason the heat in his car quit working. Brr-rrr that is hard on my body. Anyway, I got home in time to eat a bit of dinner and then go to the pool.
Thursday, I had physical therapy right after work and she was disturbed because my arm was so stiff. She worked hard to get it to move and ouchie, ouchie! She also added some new exercises--I crossed the 5 week mark and am closing in on getting to move my arm. The deal is that I can move it more and forget. When I do it, it hurts like crazy. When I couldn't move it, I didn't have this pain. It is a catch 22. Anyway, I had to take extra pain medicine before I got to go to the pool. It was another of those nights when I fell asleep with the laptop on my lap and I was posting here on SP.
Friday stunk. I mean that seriously. Our temperature was over 25 below zero with an ugly wind chill. My son got the car stuck ina ditch on his way home from driving Marissa to school for her early band lesson. That meant that my other son had to get our old beater truck with no heat and a big draft to drive me to school. I was late again and had to get someone to cover the little guy I tutor before school. My walker was also in the other car, so I found my cane which is no good for my walking with this back. There was a program that interfered with my second grade lesson that nobody thought to tell me about. My third and fourth graders were gone on a field trip which gave me a chance to work on those laptops for the reading program. I finished my lessons for the day and had to hunt down my little guy who I tutor after school. When the day was "finished," I got to work. I worked on lesson plans and added the details to the project my third and fourth graders have been working on. I got it hung in the hallway for everyone to see. I didn't realize it was 7PM until I finally looked at the clock.
Today was my big day--I got my friend and mentor to come and look at the work I have done on my National Boards renewal. She was so positive and let me know that I am both on the right track and should keep going. I was frustrated after I worked last weekend and thought that I didn't have enough data to run with. Her first comment was "Oh my, you have so much to use that it is going to be hard to scale it down." Yay, I needed to hear that. After she left school, I worked on my webpage for a long time--it was after 2 before I left. I almost have the computers and the program that goes with them ready for the kids to use. It is a big mess because they decided that wireless internet is "inefficient" and they gave me a single ethernet cord. Hmm, I have 5 other machines that need to go online--so after a lot of fussing since October, they finally brought me this hub. There are 8 cords coming out of this thing right now when I have my own machine there--it is a nightmare. Tomorrow, after I go to the pool, I am going to have one of the guys help me to secure it under the table with some heavy tape and then I'll being the machines to the table when I want to use them and remove them otherwise. We went to the pool/fitness center when I got home from school. When we returned home, I finished rearranging the family room that we started a week ago. I had a bit of dinner, but had to finally retire for the evening,
It has been a busy crazy work week, but I am seeing progress for my efforts. I was so busy today that I forgot to go to Weight Watchers--I think I'll simply skip my weigh in this week and do it next week. I am doing okay and that's all I need to know right now. I have lots of catching up to do here on SP and then tomorrow we have church, pool, a special service at church for our additional parish nurse, and work at school besides laundry, grocery shopping and getting ready for the week.
I think I know why I am tired, sore, tired, aching, and tired!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"Write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
These words came off of a perpetual calendar that I have had for maybe ten years--and I still find some golden ideas that I need to read and cherish at just the right time. If you read my blog from the end of last week, you know I had a tough time with life last week. With the three day weekend, it doesn't seem as if much could have happened to resolve the big ticket problems I had last week. And little did happen to make those problems easier, BUT...
Emerson had this so right!!
The weather was rough today--we had every nasty kind of precipitation and frozen precipitation possible today. HOWEVER, I got to work on my National Boards renewal for over 4 hours--and that was after a good physical therapy session and my afternoon at the pool.
My kids started out this evening with a bunch of quarreling and it was upsetting to observe. HOWEVER, they resolved it in their own creative way and ended the evening laughing and having fun with each other.
My weigh in on Saturday was a couple of days late. HOWEVER, I lost 2.6 pounds in ten days because of careful tracking and exercise.
$$ are tight in our home for this month. HOWEVER, careful shopping allowed me to get a week of healthy food for 8 of us for around $120.00!
My back has been up to its old tricks of aching and spasms. HOWEVER, between my heating pad, the pool, my tens unit and pain meds, and talking to my physical therapist, I have managed the discomfort and have a plan for my future with this big problem.
I think it is wise to consider all of the good ideas from Emerson--We can bring a great attitude to the things life gives out and make the day an amazing one. It isn't always easy and I cannot try to pretend that I am one of those wonderful positive people, but I am working on it. Our reflections of the day can focus on the day in the way we want to remember it rather than the things that got us down. I am going to work on that.
I am glad to have this place to come to though, and share things when they aren't great, HOWEVER your friendship and support through thick and thin makes everything better.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I received this in an email today and am sharing it with everyone, because there is something in it for everyone. I hope that you enjoy it as well and find a use for it too.
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy..
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2010.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least:
40. Please forward this to everyone you care about.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
It has been a really tough week for me and I am glad to have a weekend and a break from "stuff." I am really trying to do everything that needs to be done, but when you take family stress, financial stress, and work stress and add it to my health it doesn't shake out very well.
I have a small 403b fund that we put our little $25 into biweekly back when we were first married. The school district was required by federal law to only allow staff to use one company for such things and they chose another. It sits there with no activity, and we decided with 4 of our kids going to school this semester that it would make sense to cash it in and let it go to cover their expenses. I went to the people and got the paperwork, but it turned out that the school district had to sign off on it. After waiting almost a week, I was contacted by people to let me know that that just wasn't happening. I am still shell-shocked over this entire thing and have no back up plan for the kids. It seems that the people with the old plan have to follow the contract of the new plan--and they have a "no disability, no hardship" clause that says it cannot be redeemed until I reach age 59.5 and am severing my employment with the district. What in the world??? And why does that plan have to follow the new contract? I do not understand any of that and between the problem that nobody answers phone calls in my new building, my cell phone won't work there either, and that I have had a medical or physical therapy appointment every night after school--nobody has been able to get back to me to let me know if they could find a way to do this. I am angry and frustrated over this--I signed the paperwork to pay 20% income tax on the money and 5% state tax, it isn't as if it were going to be a gift--and it isn't like it was going to be a windfall either. This has sure thrown a monkey wrench into life around here.
Then there was the day that our internet service just went out. It just went out for no good reason. That's a frustration but add it to the list... My back started having spasms again Wednesday as well. Arggghhhhh, that's something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. They are all consuming and all you can do is use every technique for managing pain that you have (think of childbirth stuff) to ride them out until they are gone. I had trouble at physical therapy for my shoulder because I couldn't stay standing to do the great new exercises for my shoulder with the big ball. My PT told me that I should find another doc and get another opinion on my back (I told her my doctor's comment that "there was nothing surgical that he could do for me." and she agreed that there are other things besides surgery that help people to function. We talked about why I need my walker and how life would be nice if I could function more independently.) Anyway, I am trying to function and ignore this and it is still going on this morning.
Finally, my children are my children--but yesterday, my two guys who I worry about all of the time were in their full-blown AD/HD modes and I couldn't get hep to dress for work. I ended up wearing my big fat clothes because I can get them on by myself. I went to work all frustrated over their lack of support to find a million donuts everywhere. They had a couple of big school parties for honor roll and for perfect attendance last quarter. I took a donut and gave it to my husband. I left it alone and had a snack bar for my sweet tooth. We had an early dismissal day for training, but it was all stuff that doesn't pertain to me and I did a lot of physical work and managed to wear myself out, hurt myself and get frustrated over the materials and support that I don't have. It gets old that I am excluded from what the "Teachers" get and have and do in our building. MY ego understands that I am a teacher and a very important one, but it still wears old. I needed to laminate these cards for a reading program that belongs to the building and I needed to cut about a thousand pages of word cards. There was no paper cutter available and our laminator hasn't worked all year, so I contacted a friend of mine in another building. She came as I had trouble with the computer lab (because I have one ethernet cord to try and manage 5 computers that have to be online and nobody will get me the hub I need to make these things work, grr-rr. These things have been going on for the entire year and I have been so kind and calm and patient--but it all just made me crazy yesterday.) Anyway, my friend talked to me with "tough love" about preventing a heart attack or worse and not letting work do that to me. She is retiring next year for reasons like this. Then she took all of the laminating and cards with her to drop off to be managed by the district and their funds. Bless her, she was right and by the time my husband had gotten there, I was in a far better state.
That self-imposed calm didn't last long. When I got home, we found that my husband didn't get his regular overtime pay for this last payday--the holidays were on the weekend and even though he worked on the days that others had off, he got regular pay. That essentially meant our grocery and gas money was gone for the next two weeks. thank heavens I have working kids who will kick in and help, but it was the final punch in a week that hasn't let up. Our son that works at McD's bought dinner for the family and although I only had chicken nuggets--that was way out of the range of what I eat in calories and fat. Then I curled up in a ball under my electric blanket and took a nap. I missed going to the pool, but I think I needed what I did.
Anyway, the sun has risen today. My kids have come through for me and helped with a lot of issues. We will resolve the other stuff as well, we always do--and today, I am feeling better. I think I can honestly be myself and see how life is good.
Because it is!!
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