Saturday, November 27, 2010
I spent today sorting through a lot of clothing--stuff that was simply put away and stuff from other closets and a lot of my things. I still have two tubs with what I think is summer clothing. I have to wash a bunch of this up because it was in the closet in my son's room and it got knocked on the floor and so on. I wouldn't even give it away without being washed. I found a nice basket of things that used to belong to my daughter that all I have to do is wash it--It's kind of like having presents, lol. Too bad that these things no longer suited her, I like them and will wear them. It is hard to believe that I can wear her clothing these days--I can't say that I ever expected that in my wildest dreams!! Even though I have lost weight and can look at my photos and see that, this is still a real surprise to me. I do need to actually "go shopping" some day soon and find out what sizes I actually do wear. (I can try things on without buying any of them, right??)
I took a nap this morning, which was really luxurious for me. After waking up with my shoulder pain at 2AM--and needing ice on that, then waking up at my typical 5AM with my back in agony--well sleeping from 7:30-10 was nice. I wish that I could fit in a nap each day to make up for the time that pain keeps me awake. I just can't do that with work, but there are days when my tail is dragging.
I really put in some time today on all of this housework. My kids started getting out Christmas decorations--I'd like to have things up and in place before Sunday evening is upon us. After my husband came home and he ran a few errands, we had one of my favorites--breakfast for dinner. Pancakes and fresh fruit make me very happy!! I spent some time off and on throughout the day here at SP and then, I went to the pool. It was fairly calm there until that one family showed up. They haven't been coming as much, but tonight they had their 2 kids and they also had 2 other kids who they bring with them a lot. I cannot enjoy my workout when these people are there who don't watch their kids. That boy was spitting water and spitting water and spitting water--the woman ignored him and sat on the bench just writing in this little book. The lifeguard walked right by him doing it and didn't even notice when he almost spit right on her. I finished my exercises and then walked my final 6 laps followed by 6 laps of swimming. The pool was perfect temperature tonight and I could have stayed longer, I just couldn't quite stand it. Oh well, enough of that, those people are never going to watch their kids and that particular life guard is never going to pay attention to anything important.
It is now Saturday morning and I slept most of the night--I didn't realize that I hadn't entered this. I think I will do so now an get my day started. I am loving the extra sleep this weekend!!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
We are all healthier for our experiences here at SP.
I give thanks for SP and will include all of the coaches and Sparkguy (Chris) in my prayers today.
We are healthier because we have more activity in our lives.
I give thanks for what I now know about fitness--and my new understanding that "yes, I can!!" I don't think that without SP, I would have ever realized that I can do exercise and that I would like it. (Between being so obese that movement was difficult and my health issues, I just didn't think I could. I really HATED physical education classes in school and college.)
We are healthier because we have learned so much about what to eat and how much to eat. I know that I can eat ANYTHING I want. There are just a lot of things that I now like that I wouldn't try and I both understand and really can practice portion control. I no longer have to eat the whole bag or package. I don't even want to.
We are healthier because we understand that there are healthy beverages and that water is the best beverage of all. I now feel "wrong" if I don't have my 10 glasses in each day. I also know that sometimes I think I am hungry when the reality is that I am thirsty. (I don't drink much soda any more and when I do, it is caffeine free and sugar free. I rarely have a fancy coffee drink, and when I do, it is a "dessert!"
We are healthier because we understand that sleep is IMPORTANT. We need it for more reasons than preventing grumpiness. Our body needs that time at rest to do all of it's work.
We are healthier because we have our regular physicals and tests, and we take our prescribed medicine the way it was prescribed. We get good medical care and results because we read up to date information and we ask questions about our care.
We are healthier because we invest in ourselves. SP has helped us to understand that that is a top-notch investment in our future. This investment makes all of our other activities--our life--better.
I give thanks for SP.
I give thanks for all of my Spark Friends.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I'd like to use this blog to give thanks, but I have to admit that the hectic nature of my life these days is getting to me. I am tired, no doubt about it. There are a lot of things going on with my family and much of it has involved the need for me/ us to contribute time and $$. Anyone who thinks that when their kids "grow up" that parenting gets easier is very mistaken. Maybe part of this is because we are blessed with 8 kids, but I don't know somedays. We can't just let them suffer or do without basic stuff--but between college costs, car insurance, extra bills and some of their own mistakes--wow. Our youngest has recently tried "ignoring" some of his assignments/ homework--now of course, I got wind of this and have been online monitoring all of his assignments. He has been giving me a run for my money though, trying to get out of doing things. It hasn't been fun, but it has been getting a bit better.
I do have things to be thankful for--way up on that list is that our son has a job teaching. That is a big thing. Health is in pretty good shape in my family--although mine is a bit off. Mine is far improved than a year ago when I was taking over 20 prescription meds. I have a good marriage and a cuddly electric blanket too. I'm on good standing with my kids, even the one who tends to be a bit dysfunctional. I have a good job, although there are many challenges. My kids that are in personal relationships have good people in their lives. I have an awesome church that is doing great things in the name of our Lord. It keeps me spiritually satisfied and challenged. We have a good life--I am blessed.
I know that you have heard this before, but after reading some of the blogs and threads on message boards, I have to include my personal blessings. I am thankful that I can now get around on my own power--with a walker, yes but I am walking. I am thankful that my health is so improved. I read about the issues that I have been dealing with by constant medical appointments and medication, that now are simply not an issue, and I feel so relieved. I no longer deal with asthma, high blood pressure, nausea, or heart concerns. I can wear interesting and colorful clothing in much smaller sizes--no more X's in my sizes and I used to wear clothing in sizes up to 5X, so that's a big deal. I now wear L's as a rule and I'm working to get rid of the L's as well. Children respond to me differently now than when I weighed over 125 pounds more than I do now. They look at me directly and comfortably--and they compliment my clothing and jewelry. I am taken more seriously by everyone (or almost everyone) and I sense a difference in my professional relationships. I often have to deliver news to parents that isn't pleasant, and that seems to go easier these days, and I haven't had an angry parent respond to me in a negative way that includes name calling with the word "fat" as a part of things.
I am thankful that I feel GOOD. I not only feel better, I feel GOOD. I still have arthritis and it is a major thing, but I have times that I feel good--not drug out from a ton of meds that all acted to slow things down. I feel GOOD and I am thankful for that. I don't even have the words to fully explain this. I do owe a big thanks to SP for giving me the tools to have this special gift. 2010 has been an important year in my recovery.
As we all give thanks this week, I have more than most people to give thanks for--a healthy family, a job that is a perfect match for my skills and passions that can be done easily, even with my "disabilities," goals that are within my reach, and my own improved health. I am thankful beyond mere words.
Thank you all for your support, the other gift from SP. I not only have access to tools and information that have helped me to lose weight and develop a personal, ongoing fitness program, but I have 24/7 support from all of the wonderful people here. I am thankful for each of you in my life.
Life is good!! Happy Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
OK, a year has gone by since last Thanksgiving--and if you're like me, it doesn't seem possible. Yet, it really is Thanksgiving again. So, what have I learned?
I was post-op last year and I don't remember the holiday at all (shame on me.) However, I know some important things I have learned that will make me a much happier person as we sit down to our Thanksgiving meal this year. Maybe some of the things I learned will help you out (if you haven't quite learned them yet or if you need a bit of a refresher course....)
1. Just because it is on the table, you don't have to eat it--even if you do like it or kind of like it or well, don't hate it.
2. You can choose how much of "it" that you put on your plate--and if one bite of it will satisfy your need to taste it, you don't have to take any more than that.
3. Leftovers are both tasty and useful, and it is okay to have them. Again, there is no need to take the idea of clearing the table to mean into your stomach.
4. It is nice to pick and choose what you really want and to not have food falling off of your plate.
5. It is even more nice to not be so stuffed that you just don't feel good.
6. It is okay to have some dessert--nothing is "forbidden."
7. Even though it is a holiday, it is a good idea to get some exercise in, either by walking or cleaning or using the treadmill or the stationary bike or playing with the kids. There are so many opportunities.
8. No particular food item is so "rare" that you can't fix it or have it at any other time--and most of what shows up for Thanksgiving will show up at the next big holiday or family gathering.
9. I don't want to lose ground, I am happy with the weight loss I have had to date.
10. I want to take care to not revert to a bunch of former bad habits.
That being said, I have a couple of other things that I have observed this past week. I had a tough week with some extra work nights and a bit of stress involving a couple of our kids and a couple of my students. I am sorry that I let those things get me grumpy, but I am so glad that mindless eating wasn't a way I chose to handle these things. I also wrote a lengthy blog last evening, going on and on about all of my recent stress. That blog isn't here though, because after I read it, it made me feel kind of down and "yucky," and for those reasons, I knew that it didn't need to be published. (I did the writing to get the issues out of my system and now, I feel better and I can move on. That's a win-win!!)
Today, I spent my very busy day with our youngest son at his bowling league followed by some errands that included getting him a haircut. I did make it to the pool, of course. I also did some shopping--our pets were all in the need for new feed--then I did some work in my closet before heading over to our daughter's community college trivia night/ fundraiser with our son. We got home around 10:30 (which is when I really started this blog--but I just woke up at 4:15 with it unfinished as well as my SP points for the week. My entire week has been similar to today. Generally, Saturday is "my day" and "my time" to choose how I spend it, but today was much different. I am suspecting that Sunday will be more of the same, but that can be the nature of working and parenthood. At least it doesn't happen all of the time.
I will say that I am so lucky to be able to use my time in all of these ways and to be able to do so. A year ago, "unable" was the big word describing me and my life in every activity and detail of what I needed or wanted. I sure have a lot to give thanks for. I realize that I have a lot to accomplish and a lot on my plate, but when I look back on this past year, I feel pretty good about all that I have been able to do:
1. I have went from wanting to lose weight to actually doing it. 126 pounds are now gone
2. I have went from being in a wheelchair to walking with the help of my walker.
3. I have went from being sedentary to going to the pool and working out EVERY day--and I like working out now as well.
4. I am back on top of my game in my personal life and in my career, rather than being someone waiting for others to do things to/for me.
5. I am now willing to fight for what I believe in and am not as worried that I might offend someone who will retaliate with name calling or belittling me.
As someone who has been obese all of my life, I have dealt with a lifetime of being made fun of. I can remember hearing the boys at school singing the "Here comes the bride, Big, fat and wide" song as a grade school child about me on the playground. I remember hearing a very rude female classmate whom I came to know and did my best to avoid, comment on a silly clothing day that she didn't know why I'd join in because I looked "bad enough every day with my fat self." I also know how many times as an adult that I have bit my lip and kept my valuable comments to myself to avoid attracting attention to me. I have had parents who should have been upset at their child's behavior turn it around and make comments about my size and appearance rather than the issue at hand. When I toss in the ugly things that my own family said to me and about me as that obese child growing up--well, all I can say is that this is now NOT a part of my life any more either. I am having my "thinner" Thanksgiving this year. It is a Thanksgiving that will include a great meal and fun and family--and a lot of things to give thanks for. It will also include healthy eating, because that is my way of doing things now.
Life is good!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours--I think it will be my best Thanksgiving ever!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Today is the day... I had a tough night and woke up with incredible back spasms at 12:30 AM--and I still haven't been back to sleep. I could go on and on about my pain and my issues, but I think I've come to realize some good comes from everything, even if it isn't great. We learn and grow as people with each event in our life. I shared a quote from Emily Dickinson on one of my Spark Teams and it has given me the courage to think out of the box about some of the less pleasant things in our lives. ("We turn not older with years, but newer every day.") I want to thank my friend Jan (Rollingstonemom) for getting me to see the real potential in this statement.
We wake up each day as a person changed from the day before--and if we take advantage of our gifts and talents, that new person is wiser and more experienced with more love to give and share. How about that--I can be better each day simply by trying and thinking positively. I can control the person that I am when I wake up with some effort. I love this idea and it happened to me today without me really thinking about it.
It could have been a really lousy Monday--I went to work and to serve some 45 needy students in groups ranging from 3 to 6, back to back without much of a break on less than 2 hours of sleep. I was in inexplicable pain as well, and I couldn't take my heavy duty pain medicine because quite honestly, it would have put me to sleep. However, even though our youngest son fooled around and missed his bus, my day unfolded pretty nicely. I start my day before school tutoring one of my younger students 1 on 1. He really put his heart into things and did some incredible work this morning and I was so proud of him, I bragged about him to the principal. My first two reading groups were enthusiastic and every child came on time and prepared to work. I was really enjoying my day.
I am planning to do a book study with my parents in a couple of weeks and I sent a note home today to get some input on what times that parents would want to come and if they are interested. (I ordered 50 copies of a government published book on helping children to read--they are excellent and were no cost to me, double "yay") My boss supports this activity and I have a friend in the district who said that she could lend a hand as well. I am excited to do this kind of work because it helps impact families in positive ways. I am of the belief that most parents (like 99% of them) are doing the best with what they have. If we can give them more, then they can do even better. Since my children are all students below grade level in reading, their help can make a big difference. I am looking forward to this and have some time tomorrow to organize everything because my 1st and 2nd graders will be gone all day on a field trip. Time for paperwork!! Time is always an awesome gift and I have some built in a few times at work this week.
I had a problem with one of my students who just isn't doing anything and it has went on for a while. He didn't give his parent the note I wrote on Friday and had the nerve not to do the work I have been trying to get him to do since October 25. I finally sent him to the office after I kept him for recess and led him through work he could do easily. This is a frustrating thing, because it ties my hands in helping the child to grow--but after I yelled (and shocked everyone in the room because that's not my style,) he was different. I hope that this is for the better and that I have some long term change. He is trying to wear me down so I just let him do nothing, but that would be dishonorable of me. The easy way isn't the right way in this case. This young student needs to know that I am like Lassie and he isn't going to throw me off track. I owe him this much. We are doing a group project and he is going to do his part--and there is no easy way out for him. I hope to get him to enjoy this activity before all is said and done. Anyway, my very shortened break got lost in all of the drama with this child--so I didn't get to eat or go potty all day. Arghh--but I didn't snack and there was some kind of food in the staff room that I didn't get into either.
After school today was mine, I don't see my ten first graders after school on Monday. That was a real positive because I needed time to prepare lesson plans and select new books for my reading groups and define my lessons, vocabulary, letter sound work etc... My husband showed up to pick me up from work early--about 3:45 and we had time to chat and reflect as I worked until about 4:45. It actually was a nice time, we have so little time together. One of our sons showed up about ten minutes before I had everything tidied up to leave for home--to borrow money of course, lol. I don't get to see much of him these days (girlfriend) and it was nice. I also didn't really have any money, so that had to work out for me for the moment.
By then, I had 15,000+ steps on my pedometer. I came home to a prepared chicken dinner (yummy) and after having time with my kids, I went to the pool. That was the first time all day that I was able to move around without terrific pain and I took advantage of that. I did stretches and my regular work out. I also did some water jogging and aerobics, along with some extra core exercises (belly busters-- !!) I worked out so long that I didn't get to go to the hot tub, but I did get 20 minutes in the sauna. I left the fitness center feeling the best that I had felt all day--and it had been a pretty good day in so many ways. I never, ever would have guessed that the best pain med for me would be exercise and that I would enjoy it so much. The pool is a blessing. My sore right shoulder makes freestyle and back stroke both a bit difficult, so I limit how much of that I do. (I'm not so good at them in all honesty anyway.) Another milestone--My swim suits are all getting pretty lame--stretching out and becoming transparent. I have ordered some and they are coming, but I remembered one I had gotten in May. It is a pretty blue flowered halter style tankini with a little skirt. It was too small for me, so I put it away. I don't know what made me think of it tonight, but I got it out and guess what? Yes, it fits now and is unlike anything I have ever owned or work.
I came home for my Spark time and have been reflecting on my day. I realize that I could take a lot of what went on today and give it a negative spin quite easily. I am not thinking that way though--because everything from today has changed me, as will everything from tomorrow and the next day and the next... If I want it to be good, I can have it be good. I am getting ready to retire today with confirmation that I am a very good teacher and that I am making a positive difference for each and every one of my students. I am aware that I can manage my health issues and still be productive. I can maintain the climate and not even let a sleepless night and extra pain get in the way of feeling good. I have a wonderful husband and family who allow me to do what I need for my health and my happiness. We work together pretty well for the most part. I do a good job of handling issues and do not let them cloud what i the most important goals that I have. I have such a great store of energy these days that I can be successful with whatever comes my way!
Who would have ever predicted these things? I am OK--and that is truly wonderful. My ending number on my pedometer today is 17, 836 steps. That's not too bad for a disabled gal with a walker who was in too much pain to sleep well last evening. I also got in 2 hours of work at the pool and it helps me so much. I am still losing weight in a healthy way and can wear smaller clothing. I never guessed this and am so glad that I didn't give up and retire last spring. I have a lot to offer and I owe SP a big thank you for this attitude and understanding.
Life is good and "We turn not older with years, but newer every day." is a wonderful quote. to Emily Dickinson for all of the reflection her words have given me.
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