Saturday, October 30, 2010
The past couple of days have left a lot to be desired...And I am really grumpy and am trying to find my patience, but it seems to have walked off.
Let me wander back to the Thursday that I was anticipating a lot of activity... I made all of the arrangements that I needed to get to my ortho's appointment. I covered my reading groups so that I could leave work without a problem and I still taught the guy I tutor before school and taught my first group. I ended up driving my son's big truck that is pretty hard for me to hike myself up into. I got to the appointment on time and when I went to check in, I was told that they called me yesterday to let me know they had cancelled my appointment and rescheduled it for November 4th. Not so--my cell phone won't work in the new school--too much metal, mortar, technology, something--but it won't work and I let it go without refilling the time last week--however, if they called it, they would have found that it wasn't in service. There was no call to my home, so who exactly did they call? (No sign of them on our caller ID or our answering machine, hmm???) I got back to school and salvaged my morning lessons--only to realize that I am going to have to do the same thing next Thursday. I plan to share this with my doctor, he is so good with patient care that he isn't going to care much for this lack of effort on the part of his staff--and to top it off, I have been trying to get attention for this shoulder since August 2 and I am losing patience with the entire ordeal. It wakes me up night after night in burning, miserable pain. they now have the MRI that shows thickening of tendons and either one or more tears--something needs to get healed up and I am very tired of this. GRR-RRRR
I had to cancel my pool class on the same Thursday for a conference with a family who does not speak English. The classroom teacher was called away at the end of her day because her father ended up in ICU after a frightening spell in which he didn't even have andy Id on him. That was unexpected and was an emergency. However none of the other people, including the translator bothered to remember or make an appearance and no one from the office even came to my rescue to welcome the family or apologize to them or anything. I did what I could and didn't make it home until after 7PM--I felt so bad for this family and there was a lot that needed to be discussed. Actually, it still needs to be discussed and I don't know what to do about it without having some other folks on board.
While I was at work, our old clunker truck had some starter malfunction so that now leaves us with two vehicles we depend on not in service. We have not one, but two mechanic types n our house who had not gotten to anything by the time I got home. What is up with that? I know it was late and not warm out, but sometimes, we all have to bite the bullet and tend to things in less than ideal surroundings. I just shrugged my shoulders and told them to figure it all out and I went to the pool for my regular workout that my stressed out body really needed.
That brings me to Friday--the Halloween day at school. The kids have been getting more and more excited and off task as the week has progressed--nothing unusual to an experienced elementary teacher. This is my least favorite "holiday" of the year because I just don't get the purpose of it all--to stuff our kids full of sugar from strangers and from those close to us. Duh, why is this needed??? I started the day with a lousy headache, but with the understanding that one of our cars was going to get fixed because our other son had to go out of town to pick up his credentials for his new job (YAY, he is now almost completely and officially a teacher and will be able to pay his student loans and make the investment in his education pay off!!.) Lots of interruptions and issues laced my morning, but with the school parade at 1:15 and parties after that, I knew that I could manage things. I even made contact with a translator to follow up on Thursday evening's little mess and developed some long range plans. 800mg of ibuprofen handled the nasty headache and even took the bite off of the pain in my back and shoulder--I'm not supposed to take it after the issues in my stomach, but I couldn't stand that sharp pain.
My husband and son came to pick me up in the big truck--and I found out that my husband and our mechanic son hadn't fixed the other car yet--but they sent the older guy off because they anticipated they would get it done. Mason needed his truck, so that left us at home with no vehicle and two other sons who needed to be picked up from their jobs. And guess what? Of course, they didn't get the car running. It still isn't running--but Mason is at work and we have his truck today. We only have to pick Micah up from a sleepover, a bowling class, voice lesson, two people to work, and somehow, I need to go run errands--bills, grocery shopping, post office etc...
And they don't understand my frustration...
I think they think that this place runs by itself.
I think they think I go to the pool each day to play and they don't understand that my arthritis needs the workout that I get. And I am sure that nobody here understands what it is like to be awakened by pain multiple times a night. I am not even asking for anyone to feel sorry for me with this because I have learned ways to live with it--but they took that away from me last night and possibly today. It isn't fair and it isn't me just ranting. It is what I need.
I am wondering if they will get this straightened out sometime today. I am wondering if I am going to have a breakdown of some kind. I am tired and grumpy and I don't like this mood.
I want a vacation away from all of the glamour and happiness that is part of my everyday life right now--and then, maybe I'll be able to deal with life's little frustrations.
Yes, it has been a couple of "those kids of days" and I know it will pass. But for now, I'm on edge. Big time. Thanks for letting me rant, it really helps some and keeps me from saying hurtful things to people who don't need to hear them and who are only guilty of being themselves (which is different than the responsible, in charge person life has made me into.)
OK, I need to figure out what I can do--I need to get to the pool but it closes early on weekends and I don't know what might be available. It's cold out again too. That is fall here in the Midwest...
Time to calm down, pray, reflect, plan and figure this out while maybe, just maybe, somebody works on the car. (Unless one of you would like to buy it!!)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I have started a few sentences with these words today. I guess I'm fussing again. Just when I thought my body and I were at peace, I had last night and was up for some 3 hours because of the dueling pain in my back and shoulder. I should have guessed the big windy weather front was here dropping our temperature by some 25 degrees during the night. That is hard stuff on the arthritis I have.
Just when I thought it was safe to go in the teacher's lounge a big basket of candy appeared today. I am the proud owner of a couple of tootsie pops as a result. I think those may keep me away from a lot of other junk that may be coming our way during this big ticket holiday time in an elementary school. It is all my kids are talking about and thinking about--and they cannot stay focused on any other topic besides Halloween, their costumes and their parties for more than a few minutes at a time. It sure makes teaching tough!
Just when I thought it was safe to make plans and do my life, we had a car break down and we cannot afford the repairs until Friday, payday. Not only is this expensive, but it sure makes it hard to get this many people to the number of different places we all have to go to pretty difficult. (I was some 10 minutes late to my doctor appointment tonight and I'm very worried about my very important doctor's appointment for my shoulder tomorrow.)
Just when I thought that I knew how to say "no," I have found out that it isn't as easy as I wish it were. My list of things to do is growing and growing and I am going to be overloaded again. I have two days in the coming couple of weeks that I am double-booked to be in two places at once. Why do I get myself into all of this?
Oh well, just when I thought it was too crazy around here, something good happens and makes it all better. My son goes over to his new job tomorrow to get settled in. My other son has found a job that may be more than some strange door to door sales job. We all have to be at these important places tomorrow--but I know my kids and I will work it out. I am going to get ready for the pool now and hopefully put my body at ease so that I can sleep better tonight.
That's a good starting place, anyway!!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I just got home from my youngest daughter's high school production of "A Midsummer's Night Dream." It was less than a month ago that we saw our oldest daughter's community theatre production of "Hard to Believe." In a couple of weeks, her college theatre play--whose name I am not sure I even know is playing. I was thinking about the time we spend taking our girls to play practice and all of the hours they spend there. I'm sorry that I forgot my camera tonight, but the look on Marissa's face told me that this was way important to her. You couldn't have wiped that smile off or shaken it off or well, it was a part of her after her first theatre production and I am very aware that theatre is a part of her now.
Lots of parents do sports and sporting events--we have certainly done our share over the years--lots and lots of baseball and softball (We actually had a year that we had 6 children playing ball on 5 different teams. We spent that summer in ballparks!) All of our children have played a musical instrument--or two and most of them have also been in vocal music (with several of them "shining" and qualifying for awards, state, etc...) However, it is the theatre that has become an "aha" to me. Theatre requires a large time commitment on the teenager's part. Theatre makes them want to make that commitment as well. That big smile finally helped me to get it. The satisfaction that she felt from her "job well done" hasn't quite been matched by anything else she has accomplished. I wonder if it is the time with her castmates that developed into something and their pride in helping others to enjoy their efforts that has given that special feeling to her. I guess it doesn't matter much, because the reality is that there will be another play in February. It was announced on the program, maybe to warn all of the parents. I know that she will be trying out again and I know that I now have another daughter who is excited by the world of theatre.
Move over Soccer Moms--Theatre Moms have a job that is a little more thankless and that goes on a lot longer than your sports season. (By the way, I know that "theatre" is different than "theater." I thought it was my older daughter being picky a very long time ago. The latter of the two is a building, the former is the art. That was a bit of news to me, when I received that part of my education!!)
Friday, October 22, 2010
This week has flown by and although I have been quite active, I am back to a few bad and thoughtless habits taking over. I am going to have to manage things better. My story...
We went back to work after our two week break and a big problem for me right now is shoes. I know that seems a bit silly, but after my bout of RSD and the need to replace my knee replacement, my doc and PT both told me that I should wear my athletic shoes all of the time. I went to a sporting goods store recommended by the PT and was fitted for a pair of NBs--I don't remember which number--and I wore them for quite a while. Since then, I have been wearing NBs when shoes are needed. However, they aren't quite a match for how I dress for work. I wear skirts and nice tops most of the time or dresses--and of course, I wear jeans on casual Fridays. I have another problem with my athletic shoes--I need help to put on my socks and shoes and to get them tied. Between my faulty right knee and my back, I cannot bend in a way that allows me to do this on my own. I HATE this, a lot. SO-OO-O-O, I am still wearing my summer slides most of the time. I have a couple of nice pairs that have a good support and arch. Our weather doesn't quite support these and they don't match my longer sleeves and warmer clothing, so I tried a couple of other pairs of shoes this week. Oh my, my pain level has been stinky and I think that it is the inappropriate shoes on top of the coming weather front that is my problem. Grr, I just want to look nice, that is valued where I work.
The next thing is that we had two staff birthdays and "Principal's Day/ Boss's Day" this week. There has been cake, cake and more cake in the lounge which is handily located right next to my classroom. I have been careful to only take a half of a piece or smaller when I have taken it, but I have indulged far more than I have in a long time. I have had a couple of partial pieces each day this week which is adding up to too much that I don't need. I don't know what has gotten into me, but walking by this stuff hasn't even seemed to be an option. this is destructive behavior and I will not do it again. I know what cake tastes like and I don't need this.
I am working extra hours now as well (my choice for the most part.) I am tutoring one of my little guys before school each day, using Reading Recovery to help get him the boost I believe he needs to shine. I am also working with a group of (gulp) ten first graders who aren't my students--but maybe should be if I had time on my schedule to put them in) two nights a week after school for an hour. Those days coincide with the fitness class I signed up for at the pool. I haven't quite gotten the schedule together--but tonight I tried following the class with my regular workout and then when I came home, I was pretty miserable. I don't know if it was the extra hour and a half on my work day, the shoes or the exercise that got me, but pain is pain...
I guess I am blogging to share that some of my bad habits are seeping in and I realize that I have not arrived and I am not safe from myself. I am going to make some commitments to myself right now...
1) I will wear appropriate shoes and I will ask for help--even if they aren't pretty and stylish and even if I have to be dependent on others.
2) I will eat what I need and what is best for me on schedule--and I will walk by things I don't really need or want. Cake isn't even one of my favorite foods. I will save those calories for something that is "worth it" to me!!
3) I have enough to do and cannot take on any other activities even if they need to be done. There are others who can help out. I will admit that my early tutoring is such a wonderful and refreshing way to start my day and I am enjoying it immensely. I hope my little guy is too, he seems to be!!
On another note, we are rebuilding our kitchen--floors then painting, new cabinet doors, and the like--as we prepare for our holiday plans to have family come here this year. That is yet another task on hand, but I am saving the bulk of those jobs for the weekend, not during my work week.
Is there ever enough time, energy to do what needs to be done, or money to do things easily? Not in our house anyway!!
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