Wednesday, April 28, 2010
As I wait for someone to take me to the pool, I thought I'd share my day. Things went reasonably well. Our school has an early dismissal on Wednesdays for different types of collaboration times. Today was the day for team meetings, so I was free to work in my other classroom. Wow, anytime a teacher has a sub, there is a lot of work to do to get things back in order. This was no exception, and I had a lot to do, especially given the fact that I had my son sub from October until December followed by another guy from January until today. My body has handled most of the physical demands on it at this point. I had a lot of cleaning up and organizing to do, whew. I'll know more after I get my workout in. I can't let the pool go, just because I am back to work because that is where my healing is coming from.
Things are continuing to move slowly on the homefront. I am going to have to push my kids a bit harder now than before, because I'll need them to hold things together for me. I decided to leave my wheel chair at my morning school because the halls are much longer there. Some of the issues have been changed at my afternoon school and I get tostay in my little room all day rather than traveling around, so I will use my walker there. It seems like a good plan as of now anyway.
Now, I've got to get to that pool. Take care of yourselves and do what it takes to be your best!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am trying to get adjusted to the medication that I am taking--it sure makes me sleepy. That's a good/bad thing because the sleepiness takes over whenever it wants and sometimes it is at the wrong time. It is helping with some of my pain issues, and I am giving thanks for that.
I am waiting to talk to my doctor's office again about coming back to work full days. It will either be tomorrow or Thursday, depending on how we can make contact with each other. (The person I need to talk to is out of the office today, but if I understood the message correctly, it is saved on the computer and someone else can help me. I'll find out for sure when I call them back.
Yesterday was my really hungry day--I managed to stick with my plan, but it was sure a challenge. I wonder what caused that. It's probably another thing I can blame on the medication I'm now taking. It took all of my willpower to walk by the vending machine at the fitness center and stick with the grape tomatoes and watermelon chunks I brought with me. I did it though, yay for me.
I wish you all a perfect day--get in some extra activity, drink your water, and make healthy eating choices. You can do it!!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I am giving thanks tonight. I am feeling better and a bit more in control again. I think that injection--Kenalog--took the bite off of what my fibro was doing to me. I am back on Neurontin (for neurological pain) and Cymbalta (for fibro). It will take a couple of weeks forthe meds to work completely, but part of the getting a nerontin level is dealing with the side effect of sleepiness. For me right now, that is a good thing and I had an awesome nap tonight. I had a couple of nights of good sleep when I was sick last week, but my sleep has been deteriorating rapidly and that is the fibro speaking. My rheumy was quite concerned about my present condition and told me that it was hard to define where the arthritis flare ended and the fibro flare took over. Most people don't have flares in both conditions at the same time, but welcome to my world. My rheumy is a man of some UK background, with a great brogue accent and he is the most thorough and kind gentleman ever. His face shows his distress when I am in such awful shape.
My pain doc is out of town for next week, but I have an appointment with him on his first clinic date, May 7. I don't know what he can do for me--I am fearful of increasing my narcotic pain relief, so it will need to be something else. I think that I have known all along that I needed to call out for help with htis and I knew where my help would come from, but it was necessary to make sure that the ugly stuff hadn't resurfaced. Having had one bone infection makes me vulnerable to a repeat episode and it is good news to know that that isn't my current problem.
I called my surgeon'soffice about returning to work full time today but they didnt return my call, so I have at least one more half-day to work. I spent some extra time today trying to work with the para in my building to resolve some issues that are surfacing. I have never witnessed the problem, but she needed a heads up that our boss and at least another person were complaining. I have witnessed really good work from this lady and I don't want her to end up in the tough work environment that I am in. All of our paras are in a state of limbo because with the budget issues, they don't know if they have a job next year, or if they have a job--where or what it may consist of. She doesn't need any other stress. On a related note, I think I am headed to more of the same that I have dealt with over and over this year. Grr-rr, at least I have the ability to retire on my side.
The things within our family have shown improvement. My husband has been talking to our lawyer all week and it seems as if the mortgage people problems are coming to an end, I won't rest until I see it in writing, but it looks like it is settling down. My son is coming around as well--he knows what he needs to do and is getting started on things, albeit slowly for my taste. He has a lot to do but has gotten started. Since he is without health insurance, heis going to have to jump through hoops to get service at our local mental health center--they won't even accept info from his previous doctors which I think is insulting since he has beent reated for his conditions since he was 3 years old. However, they offer a sliding fee scale and it is a way to get started. I plan to be involved in every step of this even if he is 20 years old and "an adult." I am fearful that he won't share the internet problem in the way I see it and I think they will have to know that it has interfered with his life. He has only asked to go online a couple of times recently and hasn't responded with anger. However, he rides his bike to the library while I am at work and uses the internet there--it is time restricted and content restricted, so I guess I have to accept this as something he can do (unfortunately.) Tomorrow, I have to let him go online to file for unemployment, that is how it is done now. He may need to use it tolook for a job too, and all I can do is look over his shoulder.
it is good to feel a bit more in control of things right now and it helps to know that my prayers are being answered. The thing withmy son's job was ugly and although I rallied to help get his job back, I am hoping that this helps to get things back in order for him. Working third shift for so long has probably added a great deal to his issues and I hope he can move on. I asked God to help me help him and I think this is what has went on. It won't be an easy journey, but it is necessary.
Now, if we could only get the cable TV fixed correctly, lol. One miracle at a time, I guess. It is good to feel better!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Today was my appointment with my back doctor and it was short and well, it was short. Good news is that there are no new issues in my back--no infections, stress fractures, etc...and it continues to be fusing after the big surgery. The bad news is that he offered nothing to help me with the pain and no explanation for it. His only suggestion was to see a pain management doc--hmm, I already do. I called for an appointment and got their voice mail.
I also called and made an emergency appointment with my rheumy--I'm getting in tomorrow. I am guessing that it is time to bite the billet and get back on some type of medication. I think part of the reason I am not feeling better after the bug that everyone had is my fibromyalgia. I used to take four prescriptions to help with it and although I never want to get back on as many things as I had before, I think it is reasonable to take something to get this back under some control. It is such a grungy condition when it is flaring and that just needs to be avoided. The lousy thing is that for the some ten years that I have had this diagnosis, it has never been at rest. The big new medication, Lyrica, has these perfectly awful cmmercials that make things look so delightful and easy to care for. The honest truth is that it may be more debilitating than conditions that destroy organs, bones, joints--because it is unrelenting in disturbing sleep, mood, all-over body feelings and general well-being. Now there are some idiots out there that want to make it a mental health condition instead of leaving it as a medical condition that needs study and treatment.
My other options will come from my pain doc. He is the best guy ever and if there is something that can be done to give me some relief. He has been a friend and a support for me for a very long time. He is the doc I ask for whenever I need any surgery for my anesthesiologist. He was my anest. for the birth of my youngest son and he has been with me for 2 of 3 knee replacements, my knee maniputalions, both of my back surgeries, my most recent surgeries, all of the treatment sessions I had for RSD, and my chiro appointments. He went with me and helped the chiro to work on my legs--he even took me into surgery and did a sympathetic nerve block before a major chiro appointment to relieve the faschia tissue (ART) and get the scar tissue building in my post-op knee to loosen up. Once, he treated me with a similar block and lifted me into our van because of the numbness in my legs. He has givenme his home phone number to call when I need something--but I have only done that twice (because of an uncooperative nurse in the pain clinic who messed up my prescriptions.) I trust him implicitly. And I need him now.
All of this needs attention really fast because I need to return to work full days asap--Monday is what I am hoping for. I have to get past whatever is upsetting my entire system right now. I know that stress owns a chunk of that, but I was ill before all of these big ugly new stresses came up. My back has been raging since February. I have made so many good, healthy changes in my way of life that I am out of tricks. I am calling out the calvary--and everything is going to get better, in every way and in every arena. There are no other choices.
I'd like to thank you for your prayers and support as I muddle through things. My faith is strong, but it really helps to have other people in my world to give me a boost. You have all been so wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will keep you all posted as things improve.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I continue to be struggling with the bug that seems to have vacated the rest of my family. My daughter mentioned tonight that I hadn't gotten any rest or downtime like everybody else took and maybe that is why I am still feeling so badly. I believe that Ihave a strong physical reaction to stress and that has been a big contributor.
I survived Monday and that is big on its own. My day started with some work issues--my boss is upset with the para who works with me because she has asked parents to sign a daily reading log for their children and some of the parents are complaining. She gives the kids stickers each day when it is returned and although it is a more involved program than what I do, it is the same assignment I have always given. She asked me aboutit once, so I shared a form I used in the past, but somehow there are these odd miscommunications that have gone on. I finally just asked her to quit doing the paperwork part of the program and that if any parent contacts were needed that I should be the one making them. I hope that settles this once and for all. I am puzzled why there is turmoil over this, I always had a required reading homework when I was in the classroom that had to be signed off on by a parent and many, many elementary teachers do as well. On top of it, I provide the books for the kids so there is nothing but 20 minutes of time involved. I am confused, but it was an issue the entire day at work yesterday.
Many of you know that my son had a car accident last fall that turned into a financial nightmare because it not only involved the car he hit, but a truck with a boat on a trailer that hit his car and in turn took out a utility pole. The damages went beyond what our insurance would pay--I still believe we were shafted over the cost of the boat that wasn't even fastened to the trailer that flew off and tore out the pole. Anyway, in order to manage this debt, my husband and I filed a Chapter 13 debt reconstruction. This opened up a nightmare for us with our primary mortgage people and they seem to want our home out of the deal. We had to scurry and provide a lot of paperwork for our attorney to deal with this and this entire issue has made me a wreck. We are a bit behind on our payments, but that is because I am out of sick leave and my salary is next to nothing--the arrears were also put into the plan so they will get their money. None of this is about getting out of any of our debts, just making things manageable for us. Our lawyer is handling it but until I know this is resolved, I am not going to rest.
My son lost his job yesterday over eating a day old donut the store was going to throw away. That is exactly the reason and of course, they are calling it theft. This is my same son who I have taken the computer away from and who has a multitude of other issues. I scheduled an appointment with his boss and my son and husband and I went to try to work something out. The man was congenial and he decided to look further into it and get back to us today. The answer was "no" and my son is now left dangling in the wind. I tried to explain both the fact that he has untreated AD/HD--untreated right now because he has no health insurance any more, even though he has worked for this company 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for almost 2 years, they considered him as "part time." I really feel badly because he had been sick like everyone else, but they require a doctor's note for an absence, so he went to work anyway. He found himself to be hungry at 4 AM after all of the vomiting and diarrhea of the past few days and he was without money, so he got one of these darn donuts they were going to throw away. It sure seems wrong to take his job over that, but that is how it went.
Finally, my recent job status looks as if I may not have any chance to transfer somewhere else in the fall. I just cannot even consider spending anymore time being mistreated, maligned, and abused...yet jobs are so important these days since there is such a shortage of them. With the thing going on over our finances, I am lost right now. The very core of our lives are being challenged in every possible way.
I was a total mess yesterday as all of this drama unfolded. I barely slept and have been so nauseated that I have had to foce decent nutrition on myself. I spent as much time in prayer as I could and I also made sure to go to the pool. I took a bit of a nop tonight and for the first time in 3 days, I am not freezing, so maybe this is coming to an end. I believe that my prayers are being answered and I must assume that the Lord has something in mind for my son. I knew changes in his life were needed, but I sure wasn't prepared for this one.
Forgive me if I haven't been myself or visited threads or responded to all of the love you have shown me. I am trying, but this hasn't been much fun. If my body would get better, I would probably be better with the stress. I need a good cry, but nobody around here wants to witness that and a cry is no good if you have to sneak around to have one. I see my back doctor tomorrow and I have alot ridingon the outcome of this. It will help to know exactly what this trouble is all about--the same old stuff and damage flaring vs. something new and nasty. Neither is a good alternative and I have no idea what will be needed in either situation because I need some relief from the increase of pain I have had since early February. Again, I am leaving all of this in Gof's hands because He is the only one with hands big enough to hold it all.
Sending gentle hugs to you all...and my plans to be better soon!!
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