Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Today was my appointment with my back doctor and it was short and well, it was short. Good news is that there are no new issues in my back--no infections, stress fractures, etc...and it continues to be fusing after the big surgery. The bad news is that he offered nothing to help me with the pain and no explanation for it. His only suggestion was to see a pain management doc--hmm, I already do. I called for an appointment and got their voice mail.
I also called and made an emergency appointment with my rheumy--I'm getting in tomorrow. I am guessing that it is time to bite the billet and get back on some type of medication. I think part of the reason I am not feeling better after the bug that everyone had is my fibromyalgia. I used to take four prescriptions to help with it and although I never want to get back on as many things as I had before, I think it is reasonable to take something to get this back under some control. It is such a grungy condition when it is flaring and that just needs to be avoided. The lousy thing is that for the some ten years that I have had this diagnosis, it has never been at rest. The big new medication, Lyrica, has these perfectly awful cmmercials that make things look so delightful and easy to care for. The honest truth is that it may be more debilitating than conditions that destroy organs, bones, joints--because it is unrelenting in disturbing sleep, mood, all-over body feelings and general well-being. Now there are some idiots out there that want to make it a mental health condition instead of leaving it as a medical condition that needs study and treatment.
My other options will come from my pain doc. He is the best guy ever and if there is something that can be done to give me some relief. He has been a friend and a support for me for a very long time. He is the doc I ask for whenever I need any surgery for my anesthesiologist. He was my anest. for the birth of my youngest son and he has been with me for 2 of 3 knee replacements, my knee maniputalions, both of my back surgeries, my most recent surgeries, all of the treatment sessions I had for RSD, and my chiro appointments. He went with me and helped the chiro to work on my legs--he even took me into surgery and did a sympathetic nerve block before a major chiro appointment to relieve the faschia tissue (ART) and get the scar tissue building in my post-op knee to loosen up. Once, he treated me with a similar block and lifted me into our van because of the numbness in my legs. He has givenme his home phone number to call when I need something--but I have only done that twice (because of an uncooperative nurse in the pain clinic who messed up my prescriptions.) I trust him implicitly. And I need him now.
All of this needs attention really fast because I need to return to work full days asap--Monday is what I am hoping for. I have to get past whatever is upsetting my entire system right now. I know that stress owns a chunk of that, but I was ill before all of these big ugly new stresses came up. My back has been raging since February. I have made so many good, healthy changes in my way of life that I am out of tricks. I am calling out the calvary--and everything is going to get better, in every way and in every arena. There are no other choices.
I'd like to thank you for your prayers and support as I muddle through things. My faith is strong, but it really helps to have other people in my world to give me a boost. You have all been so wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will keep you all posted as things improve.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I continue to be struggling with the bug that seems to have vacated the rest of my family. My daughter mentioned tonight that I hadn't gotten any rest or downtime like everybody else took and maybe that is why I am still feeling so badly. I believe that Ihave a strong physical reaction to stress and that has been a big contributor.
I survived Monday and that is big on its own. My day started with some work issues--my boss is upset with the para who works with me because she has asked parents to sign a daily reading log for their children and some of the parents are complaining. She gives the kids stickers each day when it is returned and although it is a more involved program than what I do, it is the same assignment I have always given. She asked me aboutit once, so I shared a form I used in the past, but somehow there are these odd miscommunications that have gone on. I finally just asked her to quit doing the paperwork part of the program and that if any parent contacts were needed that I should be the one making them. I hope that settles this once and for all. I am puzzled why there is turmoil over this, I always had a required reading homework when I was in the classroom that had to be signed off on by a parent and many, many elementary teachers do as well. On top of it, I provide the books for the kids so there is nothing but 20 minutes of time involved. I am confused, but it was an issue the entire day at work yesterday.
Many of you know that my son had a car accident last fall that turned into a financial nightmare because it not only involved the car he hit, but a truck with a boat on a trailer that hit his car and in turn took out a utility pole. The damages went beyond what our insurance would pay--I still believe we were shafted over the cost of the boat that wasn't even fastened to the trailer that flew off and tore out the pole. Anyway, in order to manage this debt, my husband and I filed a Chapter 13 debt reconstruction. This opened up a nightmare for us with our primary mortgage people and they seem to want our home out of the deal. We had to scurry and provide a lot of paperwork for our attorney to deal with this and this entire issue has made me a wreck. We are a bit behind on our payments, but that is because I am out of sick leave and my salary is next to nothing--the arrears were also put into the plan so they will get their money. None of this is about getting out of any of our debts, just making things manageable for us. Our lawyer is handling it but until I know this is resolved, I am not going to rest.
My son lost his job yesterday over eating a day old donut the store was going to throw away. That is exactly the reason and of course, they are calling it theft. This is my same son who I have taken the computer away from and who has a multitude of other issues. I scheduled an appointment with his boss and my son and husband and I went to try to work something out. The man was congenial and he decided to look further into it and get back to us today. The answer was "no" and my son is now left dangling in the wind. I tried to explain both the fact that he has untreated AD/HD--untreated right now because he has no health insurance any more, even though he has worked for this company 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for almost 2 years, they considered him as "part time." I really feel badly because he had been sick like everyone else, but they require a doctor's note for an absence, so he went to work anyway. He found himself to be hungry at 4 AM after all of the vomiting and diarrhea of the past few days and he was without money, so he got one of these darn donuts they were going to throw away. It sure seems wrong to take his job over that, but that is how it went.
Finally, my recent job status looks as if I may not have any chance to transfer somewhere else in the fall. I just cannot even consider spending anymore time being mistreated, maligned, and abused...yet jobs are so important these days since there is such a shortage of them. With the thing going on over our finances, I am lost right now. The very core of our lives are being challenged in every possible way.
I was a total mess yesterday as all of this drama unfolded. I barely slept and have been so nauseated that I have had to foce decent nutrition on myself. I spent as much time in prayer as I could and I also made sure to go to the pool. I took a bit of a nop tonight and for the first time in 3 days, I am not freezing, so maybe this is coming to an end. I believe that my prayers are being answered and I must assume that the Lord has something in mind for my son. I knew changes in his life were needed, but I sure wasn't prepared for this one.
Forgive me if I haven't been myself or visited threads or responded to all of the love you have shown me. I am trying, but this hasn't been much fun. If my body would get better, I would probably be better with the stress. I need a good cry, but nobody around here wants to witness that and a cry is no good if you have to sneak around to have one. I see my back doctor tomorrow and I have alot ridingon the outcome of this. It will help to know exactly what this trouble is all about--the same old stuff and damage flaring vs. something new and nasty. Neither is a good alternative and I have no idea what will be needed in either situation because I need some relief from the increase of pain I have had since early February. Again, I am leaving all of this in Gof's hands because He is the only one with hands big enough to hold it all.
Sending gentle hugs to you all...and my plans to be better soon!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hello my friends,
I am so worried about my youngest daughter who is so sick that she looks awful and sleeps and sleeps and has the chills and isn't eating at all because it makes it worse. There really isn't anything I can do for her, but if this continues past the weekend she will have to go to the doctor. She has had this pretty intensely since Wednesday evening. My other kids are mostly past this--my 17 year old son is only drinking diluted juices and water because his tummy feels tender, but it hasn't stopped him from being pretty active. I have a few of the symptoms, but I think because I eat healthy all of the time and have a good activity level that it isn't really getting to me. I don't know though, the fact that I am awake right now mans something.
I did go to the pool yesterday and got 90 minutes of exercise in there. My husband and I went tot see the college play that my daughter directed. She is in her element in the theater an that is her major, but I worry abouther future and her possible opportunities to use this for a career. The play was very good, a little onthe adult side given the topics. There were two one-act plays by Lanford Wilson, a Pulitzer Prize winner. I haven't been anywhere for entertainment reasons in a while nor have I had time out with my husband lately, so I got 3 bonuses for going to this. (There was also a good deal of walking to get to the college theater, so that added to my daily activity steps and mileage for the "Walk to the Moon.")
I read a good article today and I'm going to share the highlights with you. The big focus was the ways we need to prepare ourselves for weight-loss. This was part of an email from Everyday Health. The entire article can be found at: http://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/prepa
Ready, Set, Lose Weight
By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
You need to determine a weight-loss plan that you are able to stick with for the long haul. It's not easy, but there are steps you can take to stay motivated.
10 Ways to Get Psyched for Weight Loss
1. Commit. Make a commitment and share it with somebody else to make you more accountable to your diet, exercise plan, and weight-loss goals.
2. Make a plan. It should be a program that will help you lose weight, but is also "do-able" for you. This goes for both diet and exercise.
3. Don't wait for the "right time. (With me, there would never have been a right time given how hectic my life can be--and I don't think I'm alone in that. Don't wait for Monday or after the next holiday either.)
4. Get in the right mindset. Don't fall into an "all-or-nothing" way of thinking because It's about small changes in your lifestyle that you can stick with and that will brings results overtime.
5. Be realistic. Think about what you can realistically achieve in terms of an exercise and eating plan and how it fits in your life.
6. Make time for exercise. Fitness is a key component of losing and keeping off weight.
Figure out what motivates you. Ask yourself questions to figure out what will help you meet your weight-loss goals, advises Wolf. For example, "Do you need a workout buddy? A reward at certain goals? How can you incorporate healthy foods that you enjoy? What types of activity don't feel like work to you?" These answers will help you formulate a plan that you can stick with.
7. Don't think diet, think life change. Preparing to lose weight isn't about starting a diet, it's about starting to make healthy adjustments that you're going to fit into your life. To maintain a healthy weight, the diet and exercise changes you make in your life should be permanent.
8. Create a network for weight loss. Losing weight be more fun, but it will also be more effective.
9. Use outside resources.
It's not about preparing for a diet, but changing your life so that you don't need to diet. Eventually making healthy food choices and getting regular exercise will become a part of your day you don't even have to think about!
I don't think I thought a lot about the things in this article before I came to SP, but I do think that all of the good things here along with the quality of information, I did prepare in the manner that this article suggested. I also think that this information helped me to analyze my plan and reflect on some things that I could do a bit better. I give this a two thumbs up for being useful and thought-provoking. You can decide of there's something int his list that gives you an "aha" for where you are at in your journey.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
It has been an odd week around here with my entire family being sick at one point or the other. I slept early and hard again last night and I feel a bit creepy this morning. I hope I don't have it, it has really wreaked havoc on everyone else around here. We are waiting for Mediacom who I was promised would be here between 8 and 10 this morning to address all of the issues we have been having with the TV/ phone and internet. It's 9:20 and they should be here pretty soon. It would be nice to have something go right and for this to be fixed the right way.
I have not been logging quite as much time here at SP this week because for whatever reason, I have been sleeping better. I have also been getting in a few more minutes at the pool the past few days. I hope that the extra exercise is the real reason for me to be sleeping more and without disruption because that would help me justify the time I'm spending at the pool. Yesterday was the kick off day for the community "Walk to the Moon." Our community (the Quad Cities) is competing in a race with a couple of other communities (Peoria and Rockford, I think) to see who can log in enough miles to reach the moon the fastest. Our church participates, led by our Parish Nurse and her committee. We've done this for maybe 4 years, but it is the first time that I've joined in--I didn't think it would be something I can do. However, they have conversion factors for different exercises and my time in the pool counts. My son is doing it too and he is out there with his pedometer for his morning walk--he will run this afternoon as well. He has been working as hard as me and I wish the other kids would do a bit more too. (My youngest son goes with me to the fitness center in the evenings and gets a lot of "fun" activity in between basketball, racquetball and swimming. I prefer going in the afternoon when it is adult time in the pool--so I've been getting the others to go with him sometimes. I know that it is in all of their best interest to be more active, so I am doing all I can to facilitate that.)
There is a knock at the door and a lot of barking doggies in our house--so with 6 minutes to spare, Mediacom is here. I am still in my nightgown and am going to direct their work the best that I can. Maybe, just maybe, this expensive service will be working correctly very soon. I don't think I'll hold my breath though.
Take care and enjoy the weekend. I love being on my own schedule to do and prioritize things as I see fit.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I decided that rather than wait for others to get information for me, that I needed to contact our HR person to find out about my position for next year. I just got to my work email a short while ago and he says that my current position hasn't been cut for the new building and that means that is what I am supposed to do next year. For those of you who have followed all of the difficulties that I have had this year with my current boss, you know that this is not what I was expecting or what I need. I want to work where I am respected and appreciated rather than badgered and belittled. I need to think on this and contact a bit of help to figure out what to do next. I think I am going to write a letter requesting a transfer, but given the issues of our district and all of the jobs that have been cut, I don't know if this will work out for me. I need to check with the union guy too. Oh my.
It has been a bit of a tricky day in any number of ways. Our internet service went out last night around 9:30 and was still out this morning--so I contacted Mediacom and we had a talk where I was a bit escalated about how often this trouble happens and he was pretty respectful, took money off of our bill and is sending repair people again--we had one here yesterday who did nothing and just left. Our TV hasn't worked right since the day of the Super Bowl. Grr-rr
I had a good time at the pool, but my time in the sauna was interrupted because of trouble with other people. There is a woman who takes the only handicapped shower stall day after day who isn't handicapped and she takes more than her sweet time. I personally wait until I get home to shower if I am in any kind of a hurry, but there are other people who don't want to do that. Today, this woman was in there for a long time--a lady who left the pool 20 minutes before me was still waiting to get in the handicapped shower when I wandered in the shower room. (There are about 10 or 11 regular showers, just one with bars for disabled people.) This lady went to the shower and pulled the curtain a fraction of an inch and asked the woman how long she was going to be in there. (I went tot he sauna and then it got a bit noisy...) The woman in the shower got out and called on the emergency speaker for someone to come to the shower room for an emergency--she complained that the other lady had pulled the shower curtain open while she was using it. It was pretty ridiculous and caught me off guard--these are adults. I was asked if I saw what happened and i told my story--and I told them that the problem might be solved by labeling the shower with a handicapped sign and that the real problem is that they need to create a second shower for disabled people. I left the fitness center today shaking my head.
I had an appointment with my therapist tonight--I wish I had had my answer to the work situation before I saw him...And then came home to go with my husband to sign off on our taxes. This is the latest we have ever done them the entire time we have been married.
My youngest son has been sick with some kind of gastric bug or virus or flu or ??? He has been vomiting and is feverish. It started Monday evening--he ate a bit of mashed potatoes tonight, so maybe he is getting over the hump. However, as my 25 year old son and my 14 year old daughter were getting ready for church choir, they both got sick with a similar thing--and then, a half an hour after my 20 year old went to work tonight, he called to get a ride home because he started vomiting too. I am pretty nervous about how extreme this illness is and how it is spreading around. It is my intention to stay away from them and their bug, I am not sure trying to fight this thing off is something I am even up to doing.
I'm hoping for a more peaceful and calm tomorrow as I try to find the answers I need. If push comes to shove, next year will be my retirement year. I never expected to think that way at my age...I'll be 55 then with 25 years. We shall see.
Take care, my friends!!
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