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Thursday, 4/8 I'm whining tonight...

Friday, April 09, 2010

Hi everyone,

It has been a difficult day in a lot of minor ways that have all totaled up to gang up on me. It started with my bone scan. I went to the hospital and what was supposed to take 15 minutes to start with was more like 30 minutes...We got stuck in road construction on the way to the hospital and on the way back--I worked around the bone scan today to give my students the advantage of having my lessons. They (the hospital staff) were very sweet--but I had to climb on the table for initial pictures as they injected the dye in my vein. I sleep in a recliner because I cannot lie down flat and the little hard table is torture, but they put pillows under my knees and helped me ease down. When I came back 3 hours later for the real pictures, I went in and got myself lying down on the table and after 15 minutes of that, they had me get up and go to another machine in another room because it wasn't working or taking pictures. It took another 40 minutes for the test--they put some band around my feet to hold me totally still and we took the pictures. By the time they were finished, the tears in my eyes had made my face and eyes swell up. It was so hard to get back up and then to walk again. (Another thing that I have yet to learn how to deal with is how other people react when I am walking. It is hard for me and I am very slow, but I do my best and go for as long as I can. Everyone, especially people in medical offices, seems to be in a big hurry and they seem impatient with me, often wanting to get me a wheel chair. It hurts my feelings that it is so hard on them to wait for me to get where we are going, I need to walk and am doing my best.)

Anyway, I decided to go to the pool after all of that, thinking that being in the water would soothe my back and help me to feel better. I got to the fitness center, to be greeted with a sign saying the women's locker room was closed for repair. They have a "girls' family locker room" and it certainly is an alternative, but there are some amenities like the steam room and the swimsuit diffuser that I use every day. I tried to ask the gal at the desk about the time frame on the room being closed and she was rude to me. I got back to get dressed to swim and it turned out that my husband had forgotten to put my swim suit in my swim bag. (And someone had changed a baby or something on one of the 4 benches in this room and left poo on it, yuck!!!)I couldn't use my phone from the locker room (walls too thick??) and I had to redress and go out to the lobby to call him. He had to go home and get it and come back which took over a half an hour. In the meantime, I thought I could use a bottle of water and some pain meds, so I got out my nice new dollar bill and the machine just wouldn't take it. The guy at the desk (thank goodness rude lady had left) got me quarters--but the machine spit them out. I was feeling pretty frustrated at this point, but the guy at the desk went to another part of the center and got my bottle of water. I finally got my suit and got in the pool. When I finished, I asked about the locker room and the lifeguard told me that she had used it when she came and she didn't think there was any problem--it sure didn't seem that way because I used it too, closed or not.

I got finished in time for my appointment with my psychologist--a good day for that. I spent most of my time talking to him about issues with two of my sons--My son who is determined to go into the army as soon as he can enlist blew off making our appointment with the career army man we need to talk with. I am leary of doing so on my own because he is so busy with his school activities and his job and his girlfriend, but I am going to insist. Anyway, he needs some dental work done and is being a total pain in the rear-end about it and refused to go. I just don't get it--and all I can guess is that he must be afraid.

My 20year old son is a bigger issue and it is time to put the TOUGH into our love for him--and this hurts a lot. He has a job, works third shift at our grocery store--generally five days a week, eight hours a night, but they consider him to be part-time and he has no health insurance. He also seems to have an addiction to the internet and I am going to have to shut things down on him before he gets home from work. It is going to be ugly, but I have to help him make a shift in his way of life--he works, uses the computer and sleeps--nothing else. He has no money ever and I don't know what he is spending it on when he is online, but it has to stop. He has a girlfriend in Singapore that he met on facebook and he has met her twice. She came here last summer--she is 40 or 41 years old with a child his age. He went on a visit there that I didn't know how he afforded it until yesterday. She "loaned" him the money. It turns out that she is about to lose her visa to be in Singapore because her son has chosen to go to a college in the Phillipines and she is planning to come here and marry my son. He believes it is his responsibility to pay her way. WHOA!! He cannot afford anything, he is broke all of the time--he cannot afford to get married, set up a house, anything. She is not what he needs, he needs goals and a future. He needs to plan his education again--we helped him to get out of college after his first semester because he wasn't having success. He has AD/HD and hasn't taken meds or had therapy for a couple of years because he has no health insurance to cover these expensive costs, He should be eligible for a program that can help him--but he doesn't want to do all of that, he wants to do things on his own. GRR. I have given him 3 tasks to do and an ultimatum. He is to write a schedule that includes other things than the internet, to write a list of his expenses and bills, and to begin writing the goals he has for his life. He is to either start helping and contributing around here or to pay rent or to get out. I hate that third option, but his behavior is causing so much trouble for the other kids and well, all of us. This is breaking my heart, but I feel as if I have to do something because letting him live like this is not good for him either. I have an email address for his "girlfriend" and before I go to sleep tonight, I am going to send her a message and let her know he isn't going to be online anymore. I know they will use the phone--he ran up a $1500.00 phone bill for us talking to her--and I cannot let that happen either.

I am insisting that my husband help me deal with our son. I don't want him to leave and I don't think he has a place to go or can do it--but I have to be prepared for him to have that choice because refusing the other choices isn't an option. I cannot do this by myself, I've been trying for too long. (My husband has worked for 9 hours a day, 7 days a week for over 6 years--he hasn't had the time or the energy to help with a lot of parenting for a long time, but this will take us both and that is also that.) We have 8 kids and that is wonderful, but it is more than I can handle on my own all of the time.

I have ranted far too long, but it feels good to get this stuff out of my system. It is almost 1 AM and I am still hurting like crazy as a result of my bone scan. I hope we get something definitive from it--it will be fine if it is definitely my arthritis flaring, but I need to know why I have had so much pain for the past 2 months, day after day. Thanks for hanging in here with me...and if I am not here quite as much, it is because of the internet ban I am making happen for our son. It will be a tricky thing to do, because I cannot take it away from everyone else--it is too valuable in so many ways. I am expecting a lot of trouble over this. I am glad that I can pray about it all.

Have a great Friday--I am expecting mine to be better in several ways.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNNYGRANNY71 4/11/2010 4:29PM

    I am sorry you had such a hard day. I do hope tomorrow is better. Keep your chin up and deal with one thing at a time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
emoticon

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DETERMINEDJANET 4/9/2010 4:40PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/9/2010 2:23PM

    You had a rough day and I hope today is better. emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 4/9/2010 11:19AM

    I'm glad you shared Sylvia. You are always so positive for all of us and our needs. You have to take care of you! As for the 20 year old - tough love is hard but very, very important! Remember you are enabling him if you do not use tough love! I'll be praying about this because I know how much it is draining on you. I hope your Friday is much, much better! emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 4/9/2010 2:55AM

    Sylvia... look at all the positives you blogged about... the scan is over and the staff was nice to you... you got into the pool & worked out despite stumbling blocks along the way... your hubby was WILLING to drive & get your suit for you... your family is together and willing to at least seek counseling & help.... YOU are SPARKTACULAR! I love you & will keep you and yours in my prayers. Tough love for our children is so hard... I have not been able to perfect it yet. Love, Dawn

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JHADZHIA 4/9/2010 2:42AM

    So sorry you had such a horrible day Sylvia :(( But as for that 20 year old, he is way past the tough love -he should have been paying for the phone bill at the very least. But you do need to have your husband in on it. Must present a united front. As long as he lives under your roof your rules should apply. I have to wonder if all that older woman wants is an 'in' into the land of golden opportunity. Won't be the first time someone married someone to gain easy entrance into their country and sure won't be the last. But I have always been a pessimist. I hope things work out for you and him.
All the best,
{{gentle hugs}}}
Linda

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SUGARPUNK52 4/9/2010 2:18AM

  Bless your heart! You can rant all you want.Sometimes that's what we need to be able to do most.I'll pray for you my dear.GOD bless.

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Wednesday 4/7 Keeping at it!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Today is a day for keeping at things. I waited until this evening to go to the pool, so my youngest son could join me. The pool was crazy, actually the entire fitness center was. People who speculate on such things thought it was because of the cold, rainy weather. The pool had lots and lots of kids and it wasn't easy to get in my exercise, but I did do so. (That was easier than any other choices I might have had.) It was completely different to yesterday when there were only adults in there in the afternoon.

The bone scan of my spine is tomorrow--that will make for a choppy morning and afternoon. I hope they find something that they can treat as they look at my back and the reasons for the pain I am having. I'm glad I got in the pool tonight and I know I'll get back there tomorrow. It feels so good to be doing the besdt things in taking care of myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNNYGRANNY71 4/10/2010 3:51PM

    Great job in getting in there with all the kids. I know it was not an easy thing especially when you are in pain. I hope your bone scan turns out OK. I just had one because of probably osteoporosis because of my back pain. I had been taking medication because my bones were thinning. I did so well on the medication that my doctor said I did not need it any more, but to keep up with my exercises. Best wishes to you. emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 4/9/2010 1:12AM

    I hope that your bone scan went well. You are in my prayers always. Love, Dawn

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JRSWHIMSY 4/8/2010 5:21PM

    Good job getting in there and I hope your scan goes well!

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LOULOUBELLE2 4/8/2010 10:17AM

    I envy your pool adventures, I don't get to one very often, but when I do I really enjoy it.
Keep us posted on that bone scan, I pray they find something that might explain why your still in pain.
emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/8/2010 10:00AM

    I wish we had a pool here. Best thing you could do for your back. I would not enjoy a crowded pool though. I prefer the adults only times.

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JHADZHIA 4/8/2010 8:36AM

    I hope they can find a solution for your back! You are in my thoughts!
Its too bad you couldn't find a pool holding aquafit classes so you wouldn't have to put up with all these people and kids. I went to a pool once when there were no workouts because of a holiday and it was nuts, kids running into you getting balls thrown around you, mega splashing so the chlorine bothered my eyes, wouldn't do it again lol.

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BLESSED2BEME 4/8/2010 8:28AM

    So glad you have the pool for therapy and exercise!

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KKKAREN 4/8/2010 7:28AM

    You go girl!! We're all rootin for you.

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Tuesday 4/6 SparkPeople gets my thanks and appreciation

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Hello,

The title says what is on my mind. I remember getting an invitation from "My Points" to check this free program out to help with weight loss and healthy living. I clicked on the site as I often click on the ads from "My Points." I was totally surprised with what I found and I signed up. I don't think I was quite ready to make the shifts I needed at first because I played around a bit and didn't spend enough time to read the program or find out what was even here. I got to that point though--my health issues have taken a toll on me for a while and after one prescription after another along with so many doctor visits, I knew in my heart that I needed to do more for myself and I finally made my commitment. That was when I started really looking for all that SparkPeople had to offer...and everything I need is here!! emoticon

I am a lifetime member of WeightWatchers, yet after getting to my goal 2 different times, I still wasn't who I needed to be. I learned so much from WW and give them a high endorsement. Yet, it requires more than a weekly meeting for me to build the habits I need for the rest of my life. I can come here as many times in a day as I need or want...and if I am here, guess what thing I am not doing? (Thoughtless eating is my answer.) I can seek out information on health issues, recipes, and exercises with a few clicks on my keyboard. emoticon

I became active with my teams after making a commitment to myself...and that provided me with a base of new friends who I share the same issues or interests with. I found two smaller teams to add to the original ones that SP connected me with and there is some real cyber-intimacy that goes on in the smaller groups. I am still working with my friends at OA of the Lower Back and Basset Hound Dogs, and between these 2 teams, I get to discuss things that are part of my everyday life. I have met a friend on Basset Hound Dogs who helped me to add two more furbabies to our family and whenever I run across her, well it feels warm and comfortable. I belong to a few larger teams as well and have good friends there too--and those teams cover a gamut of topics. The way the teams and notices are sent out from SP, I get to go and meet new team members and we become good friends from the very beginning. That is an excellent way to meet people and make them feel welcome. emoticon

I have some of my best SparkFriends from these larger teams too. Each one of them is a s unique and special person who I am either getting to know or have come to know them well. My Spark Friends keep me going in so many ways. I blog and they comment, offering support or suggestions. They stop by to give me a boost or a congratulations when I need it. They share information with me that will help me with issues I am dealing with. They encourage me and keep me going-- emoticon

Probably the biggest things I get from SP is the way I can record my nutrition, my exercise, and my goals and the way I can share my thoughts , ideas, and support with others. The latter idea is the most important. When I can give suggestions to my friends and share my thoughts with them, I am reinforcing the positives I am doing, my own understanding, and my commitment to myself as well. I don't know if you realize how important the things you tell others on SP really are--but they give you a foundation of your own beliefs to firm up and build upon. I don't know of any other activity that gives me a gift like that--that is also mentally stimulating and fun. emoticon

This is the best resource ever as far as helping someone to change the direction of their life into one that prioritizes healthy living, healthy eating, fitness, and healthy thinking. It gives us others in the same place we are--and others who have already achieved success to get information from. It gives us new friends and people full of hope who are just getting started. We are all part of a continuum here and we all have a place, with each of us being important to everyone else. emoticon

These things have been on my mind a lot lately, maybe because of the new "secrets" section, maybe because of the gifts of Easter that I am feeling so thankful for, maybe because whenever I open my computer up I have emails from my SparkFriends that let me know someone is thinking about me, and maybe because of all of the good things that I have accomplished and am still accomplishing. I have lost over 80 pounds with a lot of help here...I still have at least 40 more to go. I have went from being in a wheelchair to using my walker and from not even getting ten minutes of activity in to spending over an hour a day in the pool and walking. I am so pleased with what I am doing and I am excited to know where I am going.

emoticon emoticon emoticonSpark People--every minute of every single day, you are making a positive difference for all sorts of people. I am happy and proud to be one of them! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINEDJANET 4/7/2010 12:23PM

    emoticon too!

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BLESSED2BEME 4/7/2010 10:59AM

    Sylvia - you have already been a huge part of my success. I enjoy your blogs and you take the time to read mine and comment. I've only been here a couple of months but SP has already become a wonderful blessing in my life! emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/7/2010 10:00AM

    Great blog!! It's great that sparkpeople has been such a blessing to you.

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JHADZHIA 4/7/2010 9:53AM

    emoticon and I am happy to have met you Sylvia! I love the way there is such good and accurate information exchanged! I am happy I actually have useful information I can share with others! It adds a purpose to my life that has never been there before.. Being a contributor instead of just a user is fun!
Here is to give and take and getting it done!
Linda

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KKKAREN 4/7/2010 8:42AM

    emoticon

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SWEETNHOT 4/7/2010 4:29AM

    That is so true!!! Thank you for being able to say so well, everything that I feel!!!!! emoticon so on everything you have done, you are doing wonderful!

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 4/7/2010 1:02AM

    I agree with this blog 100%. I'm so glad that we're friends my precious Sylvia. Keep up the good work. I'm glad that Spark People is helping both of us save our lives. Love, Dawn emoticon

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Monday, 4/5 The day after a wonderful Easter

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Hello,

The beauty of Easter is that it doesn't end there. We have so much to feel thankful for and yet there is so much to come. Our day went as planned, our church service was so beautiful and moving. Our meal was simple and enjoyable. My family loved their Easter goodies and we spent a wonderful family day with each other. Everyone got along so well, no teenage hormones caused any drama.

My weigh-in was good, I lost 2.9 pounds last week and got in 745 exercise minutes. I think I may be getting addicted to my workouts in the pool. My body does things there that it either can't or won't do on land. That brings me to one of today's puzzles. I had 3 doctors to return calls to today--they all 3 called while I was at the pool on Friday and I didn't get the messages in time to call them back then. I now have an appointment for the bone scan of my spine on Thursday and a follow up with my neuro-doc and I have an appointment with my surgeon too. My other call was the results to my lab work. It turned out that my iron was still fine--those 2 units of blood in November helped me out a lot! However, my vitamin B12 was dangerously low and they had me come in immediately for a shot. I have to have another next Monday and then one a month for the rest of my life. That sure seems ominous. I did a bit of research on this and I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that my doctor had to remove part of my stomach when I had my surgery in October--he called it "dead." The thing that really puzzles me is that I also came in as "pre-diabetic." The doctor said that he doesn't want to treat that at this time, but that I need to work on losing weight and exercising. Grr-rr. I am doing both and I am sure that the nurse I spoke with wasn't looking at my records when she told me that, but I am startled at the issue at all. It showed up on my January lab work as well, but has never been there before. I did have gestational diabetes in 2 of my last 3 pregnancies which makes this a strong possibility for me, but I am eating more healthy than I have ever eaten in my entire life and I am consistent with this. I exercise EVERY DAY, which is something that I have not done for a long time, if ever. I haven't missed doing some activity one day of this year. So, this piece of my lab work is a definite puzzle.

I understnad that the vitamin B12 issue can be the cause of some of my other issues--fatigue and lack of energy are way up there on the list. It can also contribute to difficulty walking...and the nurse mentioned memory problems. (That is something that I haven't really noticed, yay.) The medicine is supposed to help quickly within 48-72 hours. I am hoping that the B12 and the D vitamin supplements will help my overall well-being and get me back on my feet a bit faster.

I am going to do a bit more online and try for some extra sleep tonight. I always try, maybe it will happen! Take care of yourselves and stay sparked.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JHADZHIA 4/6/2010 11:27PM

    Hi Sylvia,
I know what you feel being disappointed with results. After exercising vigorously for almost two hours every day for six months (ALL of it weight-bearing) before a bone density scan, I was surely disappointed that it still registered as slightly lower than normal for my age, the exact same news I got before when I was laid up and unable to exercise grr.
I hope these B12 shots do something for you..
Linda

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MTNGRL 4/6/2010 2:50PM

    Do take time to discuss the lab results. They are just a part of the puzzle and sometimes labs make errors. ( I can say this, I worked in labs all my life)
I am sure you will get this figured out.
You get in so much exercise and are losing weight, both very good things! Proud of you!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/6/2010 11:35AM

    Your holiday sounded wonderful.

Labs can be rather erratic. I have had some test results that came back bad and later were greatly improved from small changes, Just keep doing what you are doing and you should get results and better labs.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 4/6/2010 4:51AM

    I will keep you in my prayers Sylvia. I'm sorry that you were unhappy with your lab results. I hope that you'll make a point to talk to the doctor next time you're in to discuss the pre=diabetes and confirm your activity levels. I know what you mean about getting addicted to pool exercise. For me, it's like being alive again after being trapped in this vessel of fat that I had put myself in. The more I move the better I feel and the pool allows me range of motion that I have no where else. Love ya, Dawn emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 4/6/2010 12:59AM

    I know a couple of people that have to get B12 shots and they felt so much better almost immediately. No more unexplained fatigue for them. I hope it works that well for you!

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Saturday, 4/3 Twas the Night Before Easter

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Hi everyone,

I have worked hard today to attend to a lot of details that needed attention for Easter, for the coming week, for my well-being and except getting to the pharmacy on time to pick up my pain meds, I have accomplished everything I intended to do. I wouldn't have with out the help of my husband and my 25 year old son, both of whom come through for me time and time again. We boiled 8 dozen eggs today and Mitchell helped his younger brothers and sister to color and decorate them. We planned and shopped for the Easter dinner I wanted--we will have turkey with our traditional baked mac and cheese (It is not quite like anything I have eaten anywhere else in my life except at family gatherings on my mother's side of the family. My kids love it, it isn't hard to make--but is generally part of a holiday or big meal.). We bought a lot of really nice fruits and veggies to make a fruit tray and a veggie tray and we will have rolls for those who want them. It will be nice, yet simple--and will not require a lot of work in the kitchen. I made a couple of remaining purchases for the kids' baskets--some gum and some microwave popcorn for all of them and I needed some Cadbury cream eggs (yuck) for my oldest son and a Reese's for my youngest daughter. I think indulging in their favorites is a good plan and makes it more special as opposed to giving them a big collection of candy. Each of them has a couple of special gifts in their baskets and a few "basket stuffer" items. My youngest is getting many Bakugan toys that he adores and that is the extravagance in the bunch.

I bit the bullet nad made sure that I got to work out at the pool--and I spent a bit of extra time there since tomorrow is a day off from that. I am going to try and do some exercises here and use some of the arm exercises from our OA of the Lower Back team challenge as well as getting in a few more steps than I would typically. I hope it will be as nice outside as I have heard it will be.

In all, I am looking forward to this most Holy of days in the Christian faith. We have so much to give thanks for and waking up tomorrow after the burden of the Passion to the Risen Christ is so breathtaking. We are blessed with love from above.

Hugs to all, Sylvia

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 4/5/2010 12:00PM

    I really enjoyed reading about your Easter preparations. Thanks for sharing!

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TENACIOUS131 4/5/2010 10:56AM

    Happy Blessed
Easter as well. We went to Sunrise service but alas, no trumpets. The trumpeter was in the 2nd service. There's nothing like hearing trumpets on Easter Morn. Many Blessings!



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MTNGRL 4/4/2010 2:57PM

    Happy Easter! That is a lot of eggs!!!

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JHADZHIA 4/4/2010 9:39AM

    Happy Easter Sylvia!
Enjoy your relaxing day with family! Everyone needs a day off once in a while. I go to admit mac and cheese was my all time favorite comfort food, couldn't get enough of it! Different, having it with turkey!
I have no idea what my sister is cooking up for us. Will be a surprise. A rare get together for my brother, sister and I. Usually happens only once a year at best.
{{{gentle hugs}}}
Linda

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BLESSED2BEME 4/4/2010 1:50AM

    Happy Easter Sylvia! May your day be full of blessings and joy!

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PAYDAY10 4/4/2010 1:17AM

  Sylvia sounds like you have your act together for a blessed Easter. Enjoy your Easter with your family.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 4/4/2010 1:07AM

    Happy Easter to you and yours Sylvia. Sweet dreams to you. Love, Dawn

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