Saturday, July 12, 2008
I decided that I was going to do m ore, even though I haven't quite been given permission yet. I went out yesterday evening and I did a little "good food" shopping. I also weighed ijn for the first time since my surgery. I lost 5.2 pounds and found out my brace weighs 6.2 pounds. This is a lot of good news for me. I belong to Weight Watchers and that is the onlyplace except the doctor's that I will weigh. When I have tried to lose and weighed at home before, I got to where I would weigh myself multiple times a day and it was out of hand. I have to give myself a break, I tend to push myself too hard and try to be perfect. I also tend to take on all of the work and let everyone, be it colleagues or family or anyone, off the hook. I have been learning both the word "no" and to be unavailable to "everybody." This has been like a lot of major rewiring of the way I operate and just like eating, it is easy to slip back into the old ways of doing things.
I am going to try to attend my husband's work picnic this afternoon. I am not worried about the food at this point, but I am totally worried about being able to manage myself at an event that is that long...11-5. The kids will go swimming in the lake, the food and cold beverages will be plentiful, my husband is taking off work early to be there after a bunch of my pushing. I have to be top notch in every way for my family. My hour and a half excursion to WW today took it all out of me and I needed pain meds tonight.
It was fun to change my weight "ticker" and it has given me reason to believe that I am getting more capable right now. Success can help in so many ways. Take care my friends, Sylvia
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
I am a bit behind in my plan to blog every week and in eating healthier. I have day and night a bit mixed up these days and am feeling a bit off in many ways. Yesterday, it finally dawned on me that part of my problem is my fibromyalgia. I think I have an article about it on my spark page, but it is a stinker of a disorder that beats up mostly on women, They are just now looking for ways to deal with it and to find out what causes it although historically, it actually has roots that can be traced back to the civil war days at least. My issue is that I have had excessive pain and haven't a clue why I'm not more active yet. My legs and body just ache and throb from my ribs to my calves. I enjoyed the 4th of july festivities with my family, but after our picnic, I began hurting and had to go to the van and recline at 7ish. I did see fireworks from the reclined seat--and then hurt so much since then that I haven't been back out since.
I want to rant, because I cannot get up by myself yet. I cannot get dressed or shower without help either. The things that need doing like shopping and cooking are being done by my older kids, but have little to do with healthy eating but lots to be done with impulse and ease. My husband works seven days a week, although he did have the 4th off. We try to take care of things so that he can do the things that he must take care of without worrying about day to day stuff. The kids even took my dog to the vet on Saturday for me.
I am going somewhere today because I am supposed to go back to work in less than 4 weeks. Our year round school district returns on Aug. 1--and that is probably my biggest worry. I don't even know how I'm going to go potty yet, I have a new boss in the building that I have the most seniority in. I also have a wheelchair there which could be handy, but it needs a new battery and my husband hasn't had time to deal with that for me.
Now I know clearly why I haven't written--I am sick to my tummy, my body hurts, fibro flare, sadness, my unhealed incision, dependence on everyone, and the brace from somewhere hot (lol) have me in a mind frame that doesn't match who I am. Nobody wants to hear this or needs to hear it either.
Thanks to those of you who are hanging with me through this--I'm praying that this is the storm before the calm--ha ha. Take care of yourselves. Hugs, Sylvia
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I am on the road to recovery. I was in surgery for close to the projected 8 hours and the surgeons wrapped things up without having completed everything they planned. They gave told me that if all of the symptoms have not been covered that my neurosurgeon will have to do the rest of the work--but, if it is better, I won't have to have the rest of the surgery, YAY, but too soon to tell how it is.
My current orders are that I can walk around the house, wearing my new improved brace that covers my top half and has an extension to my left leg to keep me in line--lol. I also get 15 minutes sitting up three times a day and I can sit up to eat. The rest of my time is flat on my back--great fun. I am learning to type on my laptop this way and am getting better. My bifocals make both reading and watching TV tough in this position. As for pain, well, thank heavens for my pain meds because I am having pain. most of it is in my hip, where the big incision is and where they removed bone for the fusion of my lumbar vertebrae. Bone removal is a big pain. Ouch.
I am going back on my eating program today, if I can. I have little control over what I eat but I can fuss. I am starting physical therapy on Monday afternoon and have a week packed with doctor appointments and the like--so I'll be getting in more activity. I will try to weigh on on Friday with lots of help--both with and without the brace.
Anyway, this is my update. Thanks so much for the encouragement and the prayers. Those are the things that have kept me going.
Hugs all around!!
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