Sunday, February 07, 2010
The title says it all. I went for lunch with my best friend--I ate fresh fruit and some chicken, brought a doggie bag home that my kids shared. I decided that I wanted to wear jeans though--and my daughter who helps me wasn't home, so my other daughter was trying to locate my clothing (I cannot get in bed and have slept in a recliner in our family room for well over 6 years now, since my first back surgery. Since I cannot store laundry in the family room and I don't walk around so competently, the kids help me to get what I need.) She brought me my favorite jeans and I got dressed, and as I walked to the car, they fell right off of me. Wow, we were late, so I wore them anyway, but it was silly. My friend and I giggled and talked about many absurd ways of dealing with the situation. The truth is that my big fat jeans need to go to Goodwill or someplace similar--I looked at them to see if I could try to take them in, but that doesn't look like a job for an amateur. I may just go with something with an elastic waist until I get to my goal, and then I will get some nice new jeans to be my favorites.
We are working hard on household cleaning, decluttering and repairs right now--at my insistence of course. The family room was on the agenda for the weekend and the furniture is rearranged and things are deep cleaned, but there is a lot left to put away yet. I had wanted to give them all tomorrow off to enjoy church and get ready for the big game, but we are going to have to finish up.
I called my ortho about the lingering, nasty pain in my shoulder--even after the injection. I misse dtheir return call because I was at therapy in the pool...and the nurse wants me to call and get into physical therapy. I am sure I told her where I would be if they called back, so I don't know if she forgot or if they want me to do something in addition to what I'm doing in the pool. I'll find out on Monday.
Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend. I plan to do the same.
Hugs all round,
Thursday, February 04, 2010
I got to work today and checked my email to find out the meeting regarding the email was to be held today. I called our union president and he agreed to come. In the meantime, I got a lot of work done this morning before that. We held the meeting in the boss's office and the door was left open--so everybody got to see that there was a meeting nad I'm sure a couple of people even hung outside to listen. I was asked what I wanted to meet about ad I responded that it was the email I received with "concerns" that involved me. She printed her email up and we went through it one comment at a time. She had invited the HR guy to come nad he asked me to respond to the email in writing and he told her that he needed a copy of it. The issues of supervision of staff when I m not there really were downplayed and she took responsibility for handling that. As for their dissatisfaction with the sub, I am going to "get" to mentor him and he is going to have to come to me. He is going to have to observe me working and managing my students and then use the suggestions I have been given. Somebody is going to have to tell him htat they are complaining abouthis work and that is why this is being done this way--again, not my problem.
Finally, the HR guy knows that I cannot be the one to move all of the boxes and stuff and told her to set a target date for needing this done and that he will get maintenance to help with that work. It is so nice to be treated with a bit of dignity. She said that she included all of that stuff in the email to give me "a head's up." Hmm, when I am giving someone a heads up, I tell them directly that that is what I am doing.
I am satisfied with the way this went and am glad to know that it has been handled respectfully. I don't think I have more than one problem and that is my boss. I am not sure why she needs to treat me in such an ugly way, but with the changes coming due to budget cuts I don't expect to have this issue for another school year. I am not sure how much longer I'll be only working half-days, that depends on my rehab and strengthening. I will do a good days work for a day's wages and I will continue to keep my students a priority. The rest of this will go the way they choose, but I will not roll over and be dumped on daily. I am far better than that.
On a different note, after spending the greatest part of my adult life pregnant or post partum, it is hard to believe that our youngest child is 12 years old today. His name is Micah and I was 42 when he was born by a scheduled c-section. When he and his dad get home from an errand, we are going to go get his cake and some other groceries along with his choice of his birthday dinner. He seemed to be really pleased with his birthday gifts--mostly toys for probably the last year ever. I am a bit blue thinking about him moving into the adult world soon. He will be at the junior high in the fall and will also start confirmation. He won't have recess and the same type of silly times anymore, but will be starting to think about girls and driving and going out with friends. This is a milestone in my life and although it is right and so, I need to come to grips with this change that has been coming for the past 12 years.
No pool today, so I'm going to exercise, stretch and strengthen here tonight. I managed our last birthday party without a problem and I am expecting to enjoy singing and candles without eating the sweets. Everything is the same and different too.
Thanks for being my true friends and needed support during the rocky moments.
Monday, February 01, 2010
It was another tough day at work...and I know what I need to do, and I know what was wrong with what was written to me in an email, and I know that I have my own integrity and faith on my side. Yet, all that aside--the personal attack grabs hold of me and hurts way too much. I know that I am a perfectionist and give my best, and I don't know if that sets me up for a fall when others are mean-spirited, but I am so down tonight. I just keeping thinking about how unfair this business was--and is. It sure seems as if I am being used as a scape goat for other things and I need to be left alone. I am not responsible for things that happen when I am not at work and I am not responsible for people who don't do what they should do whether I am there or in another location, during my paid worktime or my personal, unpaid time.
I hope I don't sound too negative. I am hurt and it feels as if the salt was poured in the wound. I will contact my support people and will not respond to this page of "concerns" without my union representation. This has gotten to be a way of life that I don't quite know how to manage. The final part was another complaint about my stored materials. I do not have any other storage space. I cannot lift, pack or unpack boxes due to my physical condition. I cannot move things out of my pantry classroom elsewhere because I cannot get to them and have no place to put them. I just am unable to do these things given the fact that I am in a wheelchair and am limited to the number of steps I can take without the other physical activity.
I am glad that I have my faith. I am glad that I have my new friend. I am glad that I put myself first and didn't respond in any way and I didn't find something inappropriate to eat in response. I did work out long and hard today instead which got me through the afternoon and my family time. I am reflecting now and getting ready to call it a day--and it is back, weighing on my heart. Is there really a way to let this kind of thiong go? Please help me to learn how to do this if you have a good technique. I don't have a great deal of cognitive or physical energy left for this after dealing with my pain issues and caring for my family.
Thanks for listening...and for your help and prayers. I am blessed to have you and my family and my dear friends who really care about me.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Another piece of writing I have been working on is a devotional piece to go in a book that members of our church are writing. It is personal and based in the gifts nad miracles of God, yet it is also a very true and real part of who I am as an adult Christian mother, wife, and teacher. I'm going to paste it in here for you to read and consider. I am still in the editing process, so if you have a question, comment or suggestion, please share with me.
John 14:12-14 The context is Jesus speaking to the apostle Philip:
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it."
When it is close to the time for a baby to be born, excitement and stress both build together. We had been anticipating the birth of our 5th child, so some of this was not at all new to us. My bag was packed and the baby’s things were all ready, tiny and precious—some new and some gently used by brothers and sisters. January 22, 1991 was the day that my water broke and we knew that it was the day our newest family member would join us. We went to the hospital and as I was in labor, nurses and student nurses and other hospital staff members came in the room and watched bombs dropping on Iraq, the first televised war and the beginning of Desert Storm. I was pretty much ignored until my doctor stopped to check on me and pointed out to everyone that things weren’t quite progressing at a typical rate. She brought in an ultrasound machine and found that our child was going to need a lot of help to be born—and I was wheeled in quickly for an emergency c-section.
Our son was born in just a few minutes later. He was beautiful, without any of the marks of the hard work of being born. He weighed 11 pounds 2 ounces and seemed to be a good match for one of the names we had selected—Miles Patrick Elliott. We went through the typical days in the hospital required for me to recuperate. When we finally went home, we had a warm welcome from his sister, three brothers, and our family babysitter. It was sweet that our babysitter came each of the next several days, even though she didn’t really have to come.
On the third day of us being home, something caught my attention. I noticed a terribly foul smell and it seemed to be coming from our gorgeous new baby. My husband couldn’t smell it and neither could our babysitter and friend. It really bothered me and after a good deal of prayer, I made a decision that if it continued the next day, I would call our pediatrician. It was even more intense the next day, and even though the other adults around me couldn’t smell it, I called our doctor. He was very understanding when I talked to him and his answer to me was that if it bothered me “enough to call that he wanted to see Miles.” I took him to the office and they drew blood and did a lumbar puncture. They had me take him to the hospital to be admitted right away. It turned out that Miles had a nasty bug called group B strep, a condition generally fatal for newborns.
Miles was admitted to the hospital and spent the next 15 days of his life receiving IV antibiotics. I stayed by his side this entire time as I convalesced from my own surgery and met other parents and sick children. The second day we were in the hospital, our pediatrician told me something that shows the miracle in all of this. He told me if I “had called him the day before, they wouldn’t have caught this infection yet ad if I had waited until the following day, it would have been too late to treat it and Miles would have died.” To this day, I get goosebumps when I share this story of God’s love and intervention, this miracle of modern day.
John 13:7 “What I do, you don’t know now but you shall know hereafter.”
Love to all, Sylvia
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