Wednesday, March 02, 2011
I have logged all of my food today. I have also gone way over my calories. I was doing okay until I binged on rice cakes. Rice cakes of all things! It was ridiculous and I felt stupid. But rather than hide it (as I have a tendency to do) I owned up to myself and I made myself log it all down.
In other news...I had the most tedious work training day today. Big snores.
Oh yes...and why am I back yet again? Well as usual there are lots of reasons. Today though I wanted to blog. I felt I needed to blog and just get everything out. So here we go. I'm back because I want to weigh less. I want to see decreasing figures not increasing. I want to live longer. I want to feel better about myself. I want to feel more energetic. I want to look different.
A lot of it is about me doing it for me. Some of it is about doing it for my family. A little bit is me wanting to prove to myself I can do it just as well as my friend can (I'll explain more). A teensy bit is wanting to run into someone (ahem ahem) and them have to do a double take and think "damn!". But just a teensy bit.
So today I'll start with wanting to do it just as well as my friend has. I have a friend who has had success through weight watchers. She has lost weight and she is feeling good about herself. Except she's the sort of person who when she feels good about herself she never stops bigging herself up and bloody going on about how she's soooooo happy she's lost her weight. Now...don't get me wrong, I'm a nice person (honest!) and I really genuinely am happy for her and proud of her for doing it. BUT, And it is a big but (no pun intended), she sometimes acts like she thinks she is better than others now she is slim. Case in point: before a recent night out she said "Im really looking forward to tonight because I know I'm going to look the best out of everybody there". No lies...she said it. Now I'd just like to just ONCE be able to go out and prove her wrong by looking like a knock out.
Uneccesary: Of course.
But I want to just show her that I can shine too. It's hurtful what she says sometimes even though I know she's not being malicious. She's just THAT narcissistic.
Maybe I'll expand on my reasons a bit more tomorrow. But for now let me just say that tomorrow I aim to stay within my calorie range and drink at least 8 glasses of water. I know I can do it, I just need to convince my other self!