Thursday, December 23, 2010
I changed two light bulbs today. It doesn't sound like much, but it is a major accomplishment for this busy chick. I have all my Christmas cards on display. Another small accomplishment, but trying to give myself little gold stars amidst all this turmoil.
I don't know how, but I am losing weight. I will put this in my positive list, too.
I can't wait to sleep in the next two days... with my husband. I miss him so much.
I have no goals for today... and maybe I need a day like that. Maybe a reset day. I am going to try to hit the treadmill, but if I don't, that's okay.
Peace and love to everyone.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I think I realized by reading my blog from yesterday, that I am overwhelmed and overbooked.
My girl friend Lois has the weight watcher meetings and maybe it was a sign that I needed to spend some time at home because she texted to say they were only doing weigh in this week and no meeting so don't bother coming. That gave me more time yesterday evening to wrap Christmas presents with my Dad. I went to the grocery store at lunch to save myself some time. Christmas wrapping took 2 hours! I forgot how much stuff we bought for my mom.
Those were the only two things out of my list that I accomplished. I guess I straightened up the living room a little... if you count putting the wrapping paper and ribbons away. Fortunately, my dining room and living room usually stay straight since I'm never there to use them.
Okay, so I woke up this morning and I thought, wow, its awfully cold in here... yep, that would be because BOTH my heat sources failed last night. I'm ready for that break any time now. Seriously. I got the radiant heat back online. I have no idea what is wrong with the pellet stove, but I would guess its the ignitor again. I just had it replaced less than 6 months ago and I've only used it the last 2 months.
I haven't heard from the insurance company yet if the SUV is a total loss or not.
I wrote my positives in my paper journal trying, trying, trying to stay positive:
-I weighed in at 152 this morning with my clothes on
-I got my radiant working
-I have 2 more days of work then I'm off for 3 (and so is my husby!)
-I brought my running stuff (the cemetary wasn't plowed though so I couldn't go)
I am going to hit the Christmas treadmill when I get home.
My goals for this evening are:
-fix breakfast, lunch and snacks for tomorrow
-straighten up the kitchen, living room and dining room
-clean the bathrooms
-if I have time, play wii fit with Mom
Have a good hump day.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Today feels like its going to be a better day, even though I've already cried once this morning. I really think I need to talk to a professional about everything that's happened in the last couple of days and figure out how I can move on.
So, to add to my driving terror, last night I got stopped on the downhill side of a mountain because there was a car wreck. I was just over the crest of the hill and I thought to myself, "self, you are going to get rearended at highway speed and its not going to be good." Well, sure enough, a car/SUV/thing crests the hill at highway speed. I had my 4 ways on, but I guess he couldn't see them flashing over the crest. THANK GOD IN HEAVEN that the police had traffic stopped in both directions. He swerved into the oncoming lane and took him about 10 car lengths to get stopped. He backed all the way up, past me and to the crest of the hill so people could see him with his 4 ways on. I wanted to hand my keys to the sheriff as he drove by and walk home.
I am trying to stay positive through all this... Here are my positives for yesterday:
-I ate well (I still need to track, but I know I didn't go over my cals)
-I fixed the overheating problem in the subaru (just needed a little antifreeze)
Today I will:
-Go to weight watchers (I haven't been in probably a year)
-Go to the grocery store and make healthy choices
-Wrap Christmas presents with my Dad
-Ride the bike trainer, if I have time
-Do some yoga, maybe at lunch time
-Straighten up the living room and dining room
Its a lot, but I think I can do it. I may go to the grocery store and do yoga on my lunch hour to save time this evening.
Have a wonderful day.
Monday, December 20, 2010
So I have no easy way to say this, but I totaled my vehicle saturday night.
I feel very unsure of myself, scared to drive, embarrassed, stupid, mortal, etc.
I feel like it is not in the cards for me to have a good time. I have to live the straight and narrow 24/7/365 or bad stuff happens. I went to a friend's birthday party after work and on my way home I totaled my SUV.
I am okay, just stressed out completely now... and right before Christmas too. I feel like my heads in a million places. I'm still shaking from it. I drove to work this morning under the speed limit. I'm sure I made all the other drivers mad.
Oh, and to top it off, as I was driving to work in my husband's car, it overheated. I fortunately saw the gauge going up before it reached the red and I turned on the heat full blast, rolled the windows down and slowed down. I made it to a service station and put antifreeze in it. It seemed to do okay after that.
I told my mom all I want for Christmas is for someone/something to cut me a break. Just once. I feel like I bust my butt to keep everyone happy and there's always something hiding around the next corner ready to kick my butt.
I'll stop with the self pity. I'm just having a really bad day.
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