Tuesday, November 02, 2010
translation - don't take time you spend with your significant other for granted.
another story from my mad rambling mind...
My husband and I don't live together... much. Not in a bad way, not because we can't stand each other or anything like that, but life and work keep us apart probably 50% of the year. He works at the hospital, working 12 hour shifts, 10 days on, 4 days off. Sometimes he works day shift, sometimes night shift. I work two jobs. My desk job I work Monday through Friday. I leave about 6 and I get home around 6. We maintain two households, as my house sits on a piece of land that belongs to my family, so I can't really sell it (nor do he or I want to) and my house is too far away from his work. I also work part time on the weekends as a paramedic. I try to schedule my days the same weekend days that he's working. When I'm working that job and anytime he's on night shift, I stay at my house. The drive to my desk job is the same from either house.
Last night was the first time I had really seen him in a while. He said once when I got to his house, that he didn't want to do anything else, but hold me and "un-miss" me for a while. I don't realize how much I miss him until I'm home alone in my big empty house.
Every once in a while our jobs bring us together (I call for a helicopter for a patient and if he's on duty I get a quick kiss and we're off again). That is few and far between though.
I thanked him for making my bed the last time he was up visiting. He thanked me for cleaning the kitchen and folding the laundry. He is off work today, but he got up with me anyway to make sure I got off okay and had a nice hot cup of coffee to take with me. I love his coffee. He makes the best coffee. I tell him this every time I get a cup of coffee. We are going out on a date this week. Its been a while since we've had a date. I'm not a big fan of eating out, but its nice not to have the burden of getting home from work and having to turn the stove on.
Ok, ok, ok... I'm rambling. I have a run planned for lunch. I know I won't get any exercise after work as I have to drive back to my hometown to vote and then to his house. I have errands to run, but I'm hoping that if I give him the grocery list, he can do it since he's off. I don't know what he has planned for the day, so we'll play it by ear... We play it by ear a lot with our schedules. :)
The scale was up a little this morning. I'm not really sure why. Of course I'm using a different scale and I'm sure that's part of it. It's probably just that and I'm trying not to be paranoid.
Have a great Tuesday!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
First, thank you for all the comments, messages, goodies and general outpouring from the spark community. I am not used to being in the situation where I need support. It was nice to know that it was there when I needed it. Thank you again.
Yesterday, I had one of the most difficult calls of my EMS career. We had a helicopter crash in our county. There were 4 souls on board. 1 person was dead on scene, 2 others critical and 1 other patient.
To give you some background, my husband is an EMS helicopter pilot. When I heard the call, I knew it wasn't him, but I was terrified it was an aircraft from his outfit. As I was mentally preparing myself for what I was going to see, I had a small relief when I saw the color of the helicopter. I knew it wasn't one of my husband's crew.
I did my job. I did it to the best of my ability. I prayed for the survivors last night. I prayed for the family of the deceased. I prayed for the deceased.
I told myself I was going to go home, ride the bike trainer, have a cup of tea and go to bed. By the time shift change rolled around, I knew there was no way I was getting on the trainer last night. I then told myself, hell with it, I'm going to go home, watch TV and have a glass of wine. On my drive home, the more I thought about the second option, the more I realized I was setting myself up for a path of self destruction because more than likely, I would not have stopped with one glass of wine. I went home, picked up my dog from Mom's, got my food together for today, poured myself a big glass of ice water (I realized I hadn't had enough water yesterday), and curled up with a good crossword puzzle. I fell asleep around 10. I woke up at 10 til 1, unable to sleep anymore. My husband was online and we began to chat about the accident. He didn't say things like you did the best that you could. That's not what I was looking for. He and I talked about the technical/mechanical side of the accident. It gave me some comfort and I was able to sleep a little bit longer.
Writing all of this down is my closure. I should have done this last night, but I was so beat, both physically and mentally that I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Again, my sincerest thanks to all of you who reached out to me.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I'm at my paramedic job today. So far, so good... :) Hopefully everyone stays safe and healthy today.
I lost another half pound. Seriously, eat more, weigh less!! I'm starting to beileve it, especially since I love to eat!
My exercise will be a at a much lower intensity today since I can't change out of my uniform. If I get home at a reasonable hour, I may spin for a half hour on the bike. I won't be able to go on my long run tomorrow either since I work another 12 then too.
The nice thing about working 12s is that I have my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in my lunchbox and that's it. So other than the lack of intense exercise, my weekend should be very disciplined.
Have a safe weekend everyone.
Friday, October 29, 2010
I would never have believed it if you told me this 5 years ago. I am trying so hard to follow the prescribed number of calories, fat, etc on here, but my brain is so programmed for something different.
SO... I stepped on the scale this morning and finally the needle has DROPPED. I lost a pound. I'm now 10.5 pounds to goal. I started going through my yesterday to see what I did different. I ate plenty of calories, etc. all within my ranges. I didn't eat any bread yesterday... I had a little bit of brown rice at lunch, a nutrigrain waffle with breakfast, but good ol' white pasta for dinner. I did have berries instead of an apple with breakfast. I weight trained last night. I haven't weight trained in weeks. I guess little changes like that can spark changes in my body? Who knows, but I'll take it.
No good stories to tell today... other than the gym at the fire station is in disarray right now because of the construction going on. I buckled down and went home and did my workout with my 20 pound dumbbells and my balance ball. Chest press on the ball was tough! Balance and strength train! Whew!
Have a great weekend!
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