Sunday, October 31, 2010
First, thank you for all the comments, messages, goodies and general outpouring from the spark community. I am not used to being in the situation where I need support. It was nice to know that it was there when I needed it. Thank you again.
Yesterday, I had one of the most difficult calls of my EMS career. We had a helicopter crash in our county. There were 4 souls on board. 1 person was dead on scene, 2 others critical and 1 other patient.
To give you some background, my husband is an EMS helicopter pilot. When I heard the call, I knew it wasn't him, but I was terrified it was an aircraft from his outfit. As I was mentally preparing myself for what I was going to see, I had a small relief when I saw the color of the helicopter. I knew it wasn't one of my husband's crew.
I did my job. I did it to the best of my ability. I prayed for the survivors last night. I prayed for the family of the deceased. I prayed for the deceased.
I told myself I was going to go home, ride the bike trainer, have a cup of tea and go to bed. By the time shift change rolled around, I knew there was no way I was getting on the trainer last night. I then told myself, hell with it, I'm going to go home, watch TV and have a glass of wine. On my drive home, the more I thought about the second option, the more I realized I was setting myself up for a path of self destruction because more than likely, I would not have stopped with one glass of wine. I went home, picked up my dog from Mom's, got my food together for today, poured myself a big glass of ice water (I realized I hadn't had enough water yesterday), and curled up with a good crossword puzzle. I fell asleep around 10. I woke up at 10 til 1, unable to sleep anymore. My husband was online and we began to chat about the accident. He didn't say things like you did the best that you could. That's not what I was looking for. He and I talked about the technical/mechanical side of the accident. It gave me some comfort and I was able to sleep a little bit longer.
Writing all of this down is my closure. I should have done this last night, but I was so beat, both physically and mentally that I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Again, my sincerest thanks to all of you who reached out to me.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I'm at my paramedic job today. So far, so good... :) Hopefully everyone stays safe and healthy today.
I lost another half pound. Seriously, eat more, weigh less!! I'm starting to beileve it, especially since I love to eat!
My exercise will be a at a much lower intensity today since I can't change out of my uniform. If I get home at a reasonable hour, I may spin for a half hour on the bike. I won't be able to go on my long run tomorrow either since I work another 12 then too.
The nice thing about working 12s is that I have my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in my lunchbox and that's it. So other than the lack of intense exercise, my weekend should be very disciplined.
Have a safe weekend everyone.
Friday, October 29, 2010
I would never have believed it if you told me this 5 years ago. I am trying so hard to follow the prescribed number of calories, fat, etc on here, but my brain is so programmed for something different.
SO... I stepped on the scale this morning and finally the needle has DROPPED. I lost a pound. I'm now 10.5 pounds to goal. I started going through my yesterday to see what I did different. I ate plenty of calories, etc. all within my ranges. I didn't eat any bread yesterday... I had a little bit of brown rice at lunch, a nutrigrain waffle with breakfast, but good ol' white pasta for dinner. I did have berries instead of an apple with breakfast. I weight trained last night. I haven't weight trained in weeks. I guess little changes like that can spark changes in my body? Who knows, but I'll take it.
No good stories to tell today... other than the gym at the fire station is in disarray right now because of the construction going on. I buckled down and went home and did my workout with my 20 pound dumbbells and my balance ball. Chest press on the ball was tough! Balance and strength train! Whew!
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Ok... Its Thursday. One day until the weekend! Woot! I do work this weekend, but I'm okay with that. I miss seeing the folks from my part time job.
I stayed on track yesterday! Double woot! I ran, cut it .25 miles short, but I'm still sick and that's okay. Rode the bike trainer for 21 minutes (7 miles) while catching up on emails, etc. Unfortunately, I burned my soup in the process. It still tasted okay, just had a bunch of little black swimmies in it.
I have a slower, longer run planned for lunch and a strength training session planned for this evening. I was trying to get my dad to go with me to the gym, but he's working at a different station tonight, so he can't.
I have another store to relay... My husby has been going to the pool with me, which I deeply appreciate! I would not be as motivated to go if he didn't go with me. Anywho, we got done swimming Monday night and were on the way home. He said, "I only swam 2 laps". (as a side note, my husby isn't exactly athletically inclined and has a degenerative joint disease). I said, "baby, I know this is going to sound hokey and you can laugh if you want, but that was two more laps than you did yesterday. Remember, a marathon starts with a single step." Surprisingly, his response was, "yes, you're right". Did I hear the Spark in his response? I have learned from being a leader, mentor and motivator that the only person you can become healthy for (and be successful) is you. I never push him, I never get down on him, but when he says things like "I only swam 2 laps", I encourage him and hope that he realizes that I didn't get to where I am today by waking up one morning and being able to swim a mile, bike 50 miles or run a 10k. Its taken years of hard work and consistent training. There was a time when I used to swim 2 laps... or walk for 10 minutes... or have 0 resistance on the bike trainer and go for 10 minutes and be dripping with sweat and out of breath. There was a time when everyone on the group bike ride had to wait for me. The important thing is, they waited for me and encouraged me to keep going. Now, I do the waiting and encouraging. A lot of my friends apologize for being what they think is slow. I tell them, no need to apologize, just getting out here and doing it is the important thing. I will take any exercise I can get.
So get out there on this beautiful Thursday. I'm taking advantage of these beautiful fall days while I can!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I am ready for today. I am ready to be better than yesterday. In fact, I am LOOKING FORWARD to working out today. Who wudda thunk it?!? LOL
My cold is subsiding, the scale is on the downswing once again, I'm not hungry all the time anymore. All positives. Now if the fog would burn off so I can see where I'm running this afternoon... :)
So, I gotta mention this... I went and got a pedicure. A little premature from my goal of being within 5 pounds, but I was feeling pretty low and needed a pick me up and I swore to myself that pick me up was not going to be food. Anyhow (sorry, tangent), the girl is working on my legs and feet and says to me "your body is in good shape, you are beautiful" WHOA! Thanks! I told her how much weight I had lost and she turns to her coworker and says something in their native language (I don't want to offend anyone and even attempt to guess). The other girl looks at me and says "80 pounds! you lost 80 pounds! you are so beautiful!" Holy cow. I beileve I levitated out of there about 3 inches off the floor when all was said and done. Thanks ladies, you made me feel like a million dollars!
Love and joy on this beautiful Wednesday!
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