Monday, September 05, 2011
Yeah... Tubthumping ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS-zK1S5Dws , for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about) has to be the theme for the weekend.
Saturday at work I dropped my keyboard while working with a live client, sending them a load of gibberish rather than an answer to their question, and I lost the client. Then I found that someone whom I thought was a friend had not only unfriended me on Facebook, but had totally barred me from finding or interacting with her!
It was about this time that Homer decided to rearrange the furniture in the living room, which involved moving and cleaning and rewiring all the entertainment system, and of course the cords didn't reach and and and...
... and it was about that time the belt went on the vacuum cleaner. Of course Walmart (16 miles away) didn't stock it and the vaccy shop was closed. Never mind, we did the best we could with the dust buster.
All this time I was working, and having to hop up ever five seconds to his 'come look at this...'
So he decides to put up the curtains which I have had for three years and the curtain pole which I have had for over a year. Drill a hole, put in the raw plug, turn the screw, a chunk of plaster the size of a cassette tape falls out.
Did you ever have one of those days?
I wanted to comfort eat. You have NO IDEA how i wanted to comfort eat. I had to go to back to Walmart (for the fourth time in two days!) and get patching plaster, curtain tie backs, and more raw plugs, and OMG those potato chips looked tempting (but not as tempting as they used to look before I heard Dr. Oz talking about the toxic acrylamide in them!). I tried to console myself with a packet of sugar free chocolate mint chewing gum, but it felt more like the booby prize.
So, let's just say yesterday was pretty much a wipe out...
... but today the scales have gone down again!
I'm over the Facebook issue, if she wants to be petty let her. I know in my heart I've done nothing wrong. It is not my fault if she has decided that we no longer have enough in common to stay friends. Things change. Life goes on. It happens.
I've found a mask that I adore which my beloved husband bought me the first Christmas after my mother died, and it has not been hung since we moved here. It fits nicely over the plaster filled hole in the wall and will look nice and prominent in the room.
I guess the point of all these ramblings is that we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. When we get knocked down, we just have to keep on getting back up again. Life happens. Poopie happens. It's going to be challenging. We're going to feel frustrated, hurt, and angry at times. We're spiritual beings having a human experience, and those emotions are part of the experience. The key word there is PART. They are only all consuming if we let them be. Don't let them.
Friday, September 02, 2011
What is the line from the old song, "Ain't nobody loves you better," or something like that? Well, this is what is finally resonating with me. If I am going to be the best I can, then I am going to have to do it. No amount of roses, or chocolates, or other gifts is going to give me the happiness which I create for myself, and that is the most profound happiness of all.
I used to justify not working out by explaining that I worked three sedentary jobs and I did not have time to work out. I write, I teach, I knit... but who's going to do that when I'm dead and buried?
Now, I make time. Do I like exercising now? Nope, sorry 2.7fumanchu, I still don't 'like' it. -- but I DO like the way it makes me feel. I drag myself to the step, the kettle bells, the video workouts, and by the time I've done 30 - 40 minutes, I'm tingling, I'm pumped, I'm ALIVE.
2.7fumanchu's theme is, "I Want to Be Running When the Sand Runs Out." I feel something similar now. I don't want to slide into my (early) grave whimpering, and thinking of all the things I should have accomplished. I want to be able to stand there, protein shake in one hand and weights n the other, look my maker squarely in the eye, and say, "I did my best."
To quote another music classic, "It's better to burn out than just fade away."
Until next time...
Thursday, September 01, 2011
I've been watching my calories like a hawk, upping the protein, counting the fat and the carbs. I've been working out more than ever (not that I ever worked out, you have to understand that half an hour playing around with a step, a rebounder, and some kettle bells is a workout for this old lady). I feel great, my bodily functions are awesome...
... and I've GAINED weight!!
Okay, it's only 1lb over 2 days. I know all the stuff about it is the fluid levels or the carb levels or that muscle weighs more than fat yadayadayada blah blah blah. It still wasn't very motivational. Even the ketone sticks that turn purple when I pee on them tell me that I am burning fat (yeah, yeah, I know that they are not 'that' reliable, but I needed a boost, okay?).
So I'm feeling a little demoralized. I'm not going to obsess about it though. I KNOW I am doing the right things, and in the long run, that is what counts, right?
Until next time..
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
That exercise really DOES make me feel better. I have started taking Dr. Oz's advice, and I do a half hour workout (warm up, gentle cardio, cool down) every morning after my first shift at work and before breakfast. Dr. Oz says that is the optimum time for burning fat. and you know what? I've noticed several things.
The first is that, after I exercise I feel buzzed. My body tingles, as if I was sitting in a vat of carbonated water. It zings, as if it is coming alive again, and that is a great feeling.
I've also noticed I'm not as hungry as I usually am in the morning. I'm not skimping on breakfast after my workout because of this -- no way! -- but it is as if my body is becoming more in control of hunger. I used to think 'I'm hungry, I have to eat,' in the same way I thought, 'I need to pee, I have to find the bathroom.' Now I look at hunger more in the same way as something like brushing my teeth or hair. Yes, I need to do it, but it is not urgent in the way that using the bathroom would be. Do you realize how awesome this is for me to understand this? Talk about mastery!
Another great kick back of this is I have not had to rely on my asthma medication for over a week now. Me! I'm the kid that was not allowed outside to play, the kid that was excused from gym, the kid that was on meds all the time. In fact, I've been on some sort of asthma meds for almost 50 years, so to be Advair and Ventalin free for over a week is nothing short of a miracle.
And my mood is better. I have more drive, more patience, more determination...
I can't help but wonder about the connection between obese people playing video games all day, and the vast amount of anti-depressants and other mood altering drugs that are being prescribed, but that is another rant for another day. Today, I'm going to enjoy this lovely fresh and sunny day.
Until next time...
Monday, August 29, 2011
What I find most amazing about this new adventure, you know, the one where the penny finally dropped and I got my head around the fact that I was not TRYING to do this, I was actually DOING it, is the amount of ENERGY I have.
That's a great bonus. You see, I work at a computer most of the time. When I am not writing, I am knitting, another sedentary activity. Gardening and pottery get me moving, but I have to admit that many days the most I used to walk was from the computer desk to the bathroom and back. Now I am on the 5k Spark Challenge, and preparing to do a 5k with 2.7fumanchu in December.
Words cannot begin to express how pumped I feel about all of this? And have you seen the weight loss?!
In my work as a motivational coach, I teach people that what they think, they create. If they are focusing on trying to get out of debt, they are not likely to succeed, because they are focusing on the debt and the scarcity, rather than focusing on what they have, and using it to the best of their advantage.
It works with fitness too. I'd been focusing on how fat I was, how much I had to lose, how little exercise I was getting, and THAT was what I created! As soon as I shifted that attention onto what I could do, rather than what I couldn't, WOW what a difference!
I encourage everyone who is struggling to try this. Count your blessings, and when challenges arise -- because they will! -- look for the kernel of good that is hidden in them. I promise you it is there. Break the habit of negativity. Try it for a month. If it doesn't work, you can go back to your old ways. If your revelation is anything like mine has been, though, why on earth would you want to?!
Until next time, be blessed and have a great day!
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