Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I've had a very busy and interesting year. I've started seeing a therapist for depression, anxiety, and body image issues. After 4 months of therapy and little progress, I've just started medication. I have also started seeing a nutritionist who is helping me eat healthy the right way (mostly getting me to eat breakfast and up my protein intake in general) and I hope to be able to exercise soon, as I have avoided it this year for fear of people seeing/judging me during or after exercising. I hope with the medication I can obtain a normal sleep schedule since I have a terrible tendency to take an hour to fall asleep and then oversleep by many hours in the morning. I also hope I will cut down on emotional eating.
So I'm tackling this from a mental standpoint. I'm far from beating this, but it's a step in the right direction. I do still have a weight loss goal. I still need to change my way of thinking to accepting my current body and becoming fit because I'm worth it, because my current point of view is still that I'm unsatisfied with who I am. But I recognize that this needs to change.
I'm setting realistic, healthy goals, and I would love your support once again!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Yes, I've been MIA for a while. College has been pretty demanding and on top of that, pledging the coed honors frat has taken up a HUGE amount of my time. I tell my friends that it's my hardest class! So my previous goal was to lose around 20 pounds by this week. yeah.... didn't happen. I had stopped losing weight soon after i got to college but I only gained 4 pounds back from my lowest weight. So right now I have about 15 pounds to lose and I'm redefining my goals. My last attempt was to lose 1.5 pounds per week. I found impossible to keep this pace at college where the only exercise I'm getting is walking to the frat house and to classes. Logging everything has been a big problem of mine as I usually find it rude to log what I ate at the table and it's quite time consuming. Still, I haven't been on my best behavior, my vegetable intake has been lacking and I've been eating too many carbs and too little protein.
But I've now realized that I can't keep yo-yoing like this. I'm setting a goal for 129 (the same weight but with more time to do it). Still, I want to resist slacking off. I want to lose 15 pounds by July 2nd, my Dad's birthday, because we will be celebrating it at a house we just bought in Florida with a pool and right by the beach. I just want to be comfortable in a bathing suit.
I've also realized that I've been missing a part of the equation. To be successful, I feel I can no longer avoid running. I think it will be the easiest form of exercise since I don't have a gym membership and it will be less time consuming than trying to walk off the weight. I just have to learn to LOVE it because I've always hated it. I know people who love to run and I've always thought to myself, "what is wrong with them?" but I feel I can benefit from running as good stress relief, and, during the summer, as a way to bond with my sister. Again, part of the problem is my fear of being judged as I'm always conscious of people judging me while I exercise. I don't know where this fear comes from but it's there and it's one of the main obstacles to getting to my goals. I'm going to try to get to the core of the problem so I can get rid of it.
Anyways, I'm back, but probably won't be logging consistently. I will try to make a weekly blog post which will probably be manageable. Well I gotta go but I'm looking forward to starting anew, and as cliche as I've made it sound, this time is different!
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