Thursday, September 20, 2012
It's been a while since I've blogged and not much has really changed. I haven't lost much weight (haven't gained but have lost about 4lbs). I know exactly what I do right - and exactly what I do wrong.
Just because I know what I do right and wrong doesn't stop me from continuing to do wrong ~ it's a vicious cycle. I hate it. Yuck. sigh
In the past month my exercise has gotten all out of hand - I am unable to do my favorite exercise during the week because my kids love soccer and it's fall soccer time - hence, as 8 and 10 year old girls, their leagues think that they should exercise - er, I mean practice - 2 hours a night / 2 nights a week. Which is fine BUT they are on different nights (Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday) beginning at precisely 5PM. Well, there goes my gym time. I have taken to running and biking - which I love.
But, Oh how I miss my zumba :(
Soon, I'll be back again. October 15 - watch out girls!
Friday, June 08, 2012
I am doing something new - instead of despairing over weight-loss plateau, I've decided that I will instead focus on inches and I am PSYCHED! In the month of May, I lost over 11 inches - 4 in my waist alone. This is two years into my journey and I still have a lifetime to go. I've learned that it's okay to change the process as long as my eyes are still on the goal.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
It has been a while since I logged on to Spark. I don't really know why I stopped except that I was spending so much time logging and such that I was unable to spend time elsewhere at work and home. Thankfully I've learned that I really need this. It is accountability. I'm accountable to me and nobody else. I have not stopped working out or changed my diet. If anything I've upped my workouts and they feel really good. I need this though. I need to come back and reflect on where I've been. Thank you Spark. You didn't leave me.
Monday, August 15, 2011
I can do anything!
When I was younger, it used to be that I ‘thought’ I could do anything. Why? My parents told me that I could. Therefore, anything was possible. The list was endless:
I could be president.
I could be an astronaut.
I could be an actress.
I could be an Olympian.
I could be a Rhodes Scholar.
I could be a rancher.
When I was younger, I would spool my thread and dream my dreams. In them I was invincible and righteous. In my dreams I was moral and just. In my dreams I was athletic and nauseatingly intelligent. I always was ‘right’ and admired. OK – in my dreams I was not just admired but adored.
Yep – I had a healthy dose of being spoilt.
But, who is to say that some dreams can’t be acknowledged and lived out? In fact, I personally know of ‘someone’ who was each of these. For instance:
My husband was President once – of his teacher’s union.
My brother was an astronaut – in some video game.
I’m a darn good actress – I can fool almost anyone.
A friend of mine made it to the Olympic trials (darn it…almost)!
A third cousin was a Rhodes Scholar (honest).
My husband and I are farmer’s (kind of – we have some pigs and poultry) which is mighty close to ranching (unless you’re a rancher and you know the difference).
Why is it that when we become adults we have to give up on dreams? Why is it we tell our children when they are little that they can do anything but when they are older we ask them to look at their options (ahem…..for instance….your IQ just isn’t there BUT… or perhaps you don’t have the legs for a runner BUT…)?
Why not modify? This past year has been a year for living my dreams. They are modified. I might not be running for office (although, with our troubles perhaps I should try?) and I might not ever be an ‘official’ actress but I can run. And I can swim. And – heaven help me – I can ride my bicycle!
One of my earliest memories is of me riding a bicycle. It was Christmas morning 1975 and I had a Schwinn – it was white with green lettering and Santa brought it to me on that cold Christmas day (okay – I lived in Georgia and it probably was like 65 degrees but it felt cold). That bicycle was the coolest thing around. It didn’t matter that I had never even rode with training wheels before – I was going to master the two-wheeler even if I nearly killed myself! The entire day I practiced. I would fall and then get up. We didn’t wear helmets or knee and elbow pads. Nope – back then when we fell we felt it! It took me almost an entire day but I finally got it right around the time my mom called me in for Christmas dinner. My ‘best memory’ of that bike was the smile of pride on my daddy’s face! Wow.
I used to ride that bike all summer long. We were trusty protectors of my neighborhood against aliens and wild Indians (yep – I was a tomboy)! I used to ride it at night down the fast hills with the wind blowing through my hair and my arms out in complete balance. Standing I would pump up the hills as if I was the Olympian I dreamt of being. That bicycle made me feel invincible. On that bicycle I evolved into something different.
When I got rid of that bike a few years later I bet it had five thousand miles on it. We replaced one tire two times and the other three times. It was beaten up and rusty. Nowadays – I wish that I still had it. I couldn’t possibly ride it anymore but it is a symbol of how far a person can go. It is a symbol of how far I can go. It is a symbol of falling down and getting back up. A symbol of pride from a father to his daughter.
In the past month I have become reacquainted with that ‘feeling’ of riding my bike. Let’s just say that it isn’t my Schwinn and that I don’t recall the stupid seat hurting so bad back then. Even after miles and miles and miles of walking, running, swimming, and dancing that I have traveled in the past year – cycling is different. It uses different muscles and brings on new pains (butt pain, anyone?). At the beginning of my adult inspired dream of returning to biking as a form of exercise I thought – didn’t this used to be more fun (butt pain, anyone?)?
However, I am slowly beginning to evolve again. The butt pain has become less severe and I have found pride in myself as I once again stand and pump my legs to get up the hills. The wind doesn’t really go through my hair anymore because of these darn helmets we now have to wear – but I can still feel it as it blows through my clothes, cooling my heated skin. I have to worry more about bad drivers than I used to but now we have these cool trails that back ‘in the day’ we were more afraid to ride on. I can still hold my arms out as I go down a hill, feeling completely invincible. Once again, biking is fun!
Now, with my bike, I feel like I can do anything. Dreams aren’t just dreams and anything is possible. Maybe I can meet my goal of health and goal weight! I can do anything! I can do this!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
So want to sleep in. Know that I cannot. Got to move. Open my eyes and observe the first glimpse of morning light filtering through my windows. As the dawn peaks through, I lie in bed and take some time to get my resting heart rate – nice and steady at 58 bpm. Breathing in and out, I begin my first morning stretch. From the tips of my toes to my fingertips I stretch and hold, then like a cat I curl and hold. I swear, I almost purr, it is so delicious! The dawn beckons to me. I am ready. I answer…
Quickly I dress and quietly I slip downstairs. Success – there are no awakening children or husband! Bending down, touching my toes and double knotting my shoes before I stand and reach toward the heavens! In and out goes my breath. My lungs fill to capacity before slowly releasing. My mind is now fully awake and my blood starts to flow a little bit faster!
I’m becoming anxious – my legs twitch as they are ready to take off. HRM is on and I take a quick walk down the driveway. I’m thinking about my day – looking at my internal to do list – checking off what I accomplished yesterday and adding to it new items that need attention. After a quarter mile, I hardly notice it when I begin to run. Even though I’ve only consistently been running for a short while – it is pure instinct.
I can run in the middle of my road – there are never any cars. I look straight ahead and see two deer ahead on my country road. They look at me before they gracefully jump the fence into the field to the east. I’m no longer thinking of my list. Instead I’ve taken my to-do list and filed it away in my internal memory card. I have better things to think about this morning.
As I run on my forgotten little road, the air is crisp – almost perfect at 62 degrees. There is an easterly wind that pulls at the hair in my pony tail. My knees feel great. I marvel as I think about each motion. Isn’t the human body amazing? I can feel my muscles contracting and stretching. My shoulders move my arms as I set my pace. Staring straight ahead I climb my first hill, concentrating on my breathing as I hear my shoes strike the pavement. Breathing a little deeper, I am fixed on my pace. Not too fast. Don't slow down. Steady. Strong. I crest the hill and tighten my core more. Descending. Concentrate. Not too fast. There is a straightway ahead. I feel free as my pace increases. My feet are swift and my thighs are strong. I can hear the birds sing as the scent of lavender streams toward me.
Beans grow in the field to the west and the morning sun bathes acre after acre with a hazy glow. In the distance just beyond are angus cattle, dark blotches on deep green grass. I haven’t stopped to walk – I am strong. Breathe in. Breathe out. Starting to sweat. Couple more miles to go. Lifetime ahead.
Sleep in? No way. No how. This is my road. This is my morning. This is me. I might not be fast but it is official. I am official. I am an official runner. I am taking back my life. Sleep in? With this to offer, how can I?
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