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Freaking Out

Friday, September 30, 2011

So, I got certified to teach Zumba in March of this year. This summer I had a terrible encounter that definitely left my pride hurting. I really, really didn't want to teach Zumba after that. In fact, I swore I would never do it again.
After the initial shock passed and I was able to look at things in a more realistic, less self-hating way, I realized that I needed to try again. I may still not like it, but I have to try. I've been thinking about becoming a trainer, and I feel like I need to do this first to get over my fears.
So, I set up a 6 week Zumba fitness challenge. I'm doing a mix of Zumba, strength, abs, and Yoga along with a short discussion of different aspects of nutrition. I figure this way, if I feel terrible about it, I only have to do it for 6 weeks. If it works, I can keep offering Zumba classes after the challenge is over.
I didn't expect anyone to be interested. The summer brought me one (rather nasty) person, and no one else, so I was not expecting a response. It's been surprisingly good.
Now, I am freaking out.
I have to do this. I have to actually go through with it, and I am terrified. It looks like I'll be working mostly with people new to exercise and weight loss, so the level of the class shouldn't be a problem. I'm just kind of scared to have other people listen to me and take my advice. I don't feel qualified.
I'm hoping this goes well. I hope that it helps me get over the issues I am having accepting my weight loss and new found abilities. Rationally, I know that I am fit and capable of doing this, but being rational has never been one of my strong qualities.
I know one thing. If this goes well, I'm getting my personal trainer certification.
Face Fear.
Take Chances.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VTMAID 10/1/2011 9:51AM

    Good luck with the class! I am glad you are going through with it. Too bad you had that rather nasty person the first time, but the again, maybe it was a good thing. It made you reassess how much you wanted it! Good job!

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GIANTMICROBE 10/1/2011 9:15AM

    There are bad apples in every bunch... when you teach anything, you will inevitably come across at LEAST one unpleasant person. As Dumbledore said, don't hold out for universal popularity.

When I tutored, or when I give diet and exercise advice, I always start out with, "Well, this works for me..." or "I have heard that this approach can be successful..." because that way it doesn't sound like you're saying, "You HAVE to do this" or "You HAVE to do that."

emoticon Good luck!

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LINDYLIME 10/1/2011 6:22AM

    I wish I lived closer, I'd love to join in because I believe in you. Go and smash it girl!


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CANNIE50 9/30/2011 9:48PM

    Good - you survived the bad experience, and you got the nasty person out of the way. More good news - every person in your class WANTS you to succeed. Plus, the less perfect you seem to people who are new to exercise and fitness, the less intimidated they will be. Maybe you can tell them, right off the bat, that you are nervous but this really matters to you and you care what they think and you are going to work hard for them, and you expect them to work hard for themselves. Just my 2 cents.....PS You've got this, Sparkler!!! emoticon PS You are really living your background slogan, aren't you? PSS I love your background slogan.

Comment edited on: 9/30/2011 9:49:01 PM

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DAZZEEDOO 9/30/2011 9:02PM


This is what you trained for- You'll be fine. The first(nasty) one was a fluke. The good thing is you'll be starting with folks who are new to this. Often times people become attatched to certain exercise and the instructor they know. Stay positive, let go of the fear and give 'em what they came for.


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EMPTRS 9/30/2011 9:02PM

    You have got this in the bag! Good for you for "getting back on the horse" and giving it another try! People will love you and you will be SO GOOD for them!!! Be proud of yourself-and hey, they wouldn't have given you the certification if you didn't deserve it! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!!!!

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JULIA1154 9/30/2011 9:01PM

  Try to remember that your students are apt to be at least as terrified as you are. After all, they're new to exercise and Zumba isn't exactly a known quantity to most of us.

I suspect that you'll find that you can create trust and empathy due to your own weight loss journey. As for the fact that they'll actually be listening to and relying on you - well, yes, that can be intimidating. It's also an incredible opportunity to help others find their inner fit person. If you focus on that, rather than anything else it may help you relax, be real and connect.

Teaching anything, as opposed to simply coaching someone on a casual basis, IS hard work. It's also very rewarding, from time to time. :)

Best of luck! Do keep us posted, please.

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Em - 1 / Cupcakes - 0

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

On Sunday I made 18 cupcakes - my favorite kind chocolate with chocolate frosting. Most of them went to school with my husband because he promised one of his students cupcakes. The remaining 4 sat in the fridge. Not a great idea for a stress eater with a serious sweet tooth.
But, it's now Wed. and they are still there. I'm proud of myself. I've definitely been tempted a few times, but I'm finding them less and less appealing. I know I could have thrown them out, but I hate wasting food and I thought my kids might like a treat one day. That's what I'm most proud of. My kids have seen them in the fridge every day, and they never ask for them. Yesterday, after inspecting the contents of the fridge, my three-year-old asked for cucumbers. emoticon Success!
I'm throwing out the cupcakes today. No one wants them, and we don't need them.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDYLIME 9/30/2011 12:19AM

    Discipline, willpower....whatever you call it, you've got it! I hope its catching because I could really use some myself! Well done to you :) and your children :) for choosing the healthier options instead.

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GIANTMICROBE 9/28/2011 4:41PM

    Very nice! Cupcakes are so tempting. I think it's because they're so portable. I have a whole theory on portable food being more tempting.

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Need. Sleep. Now.

Monday, September 26, 2011

So, it seems like a lot of Sparkers are having a rough day today, and I am completely with them. I have been exhausted since I got up, and nothing has helped. Tea, exercise, nothing works. I've still got to do cardio for the LiveFit challenge and put the kids to bed. Then I get to work on the 2 blogs I've got going on now. I've decided to really start marketing my writing, and it is turning into a full time job. On top of errands, kids, and my part time job (working with middle schoolers - the most hyper of all school children) I'm just feeling run down. Going to bed as early as possible tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIANTMICROBE 9/26/2011 7:20PM

    Sweet dreams!

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LiveFit Challenge Update

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I've completed Week 5 of the LiveFit Challenge, and despite being sick in the middle of the week, I did pretty well. emoticon
The workouts are getting tougher, and I couldn't always get in all of the cardio, mostly because I still felt kind of ill and didn't want to push it too far. But, my new favorite exercise is now the one leg barbell squat. That's a tough one! It made me feel really strong. emoticon
Eating clean is tough. I'm doing better than I usually do, but I still allow myself some sugar during the day. I don't feel bad about this. I could follow the clean eating plan to the T if I wanted to, but it would lead to some obsessive dieting behavior, and I spent a long time breaking out of that all or nothing mentality. I'm not going to beat myself up over a little sugar as long as I stay in my calorie range and eat all my veggies. emoticon emoticon
I'm also trying not to be too obsessed with numbers. I've been fluctuating up and down for a long, long time, and it is hard to not obsess too much. I lost 1.5 pounds this week, and I am happy about that, but I'm still about a pound away from getting out of that fluctuation zone. Hopefully next week I'll get out of it.
Here's the numbers this week:
Bust - 37
Chest - 29
Waist - 30
Hip - 39

No change in my measurements this week, but I'm seeing changes in my muscles. I think if I bump up my cardio this week, I'll see the results I'm looking for. Just need to stay focused and healthy this coming week.

Have a healthy week everyone!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APMAC_D 9/25/2011 9:53AM

    wow you are doing a great job! Keep it up. The changes may appear small but I bet they are actually huge mentally, physically etc,. I really hope you get out of the fluctuation zone, I know it will happen

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GIANTMICROBE 9/25/2011 9:51AM

    Any exercise with the phrase "one leg" in it impresses me greatly! emoticon

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

I've been thinking about change today. I've been sick for a couple days, and while I always hate being sick, I hated the fact that I couldn't exercise the most. I had to skip a day of the JE challenge, and I was not happy. This is not how I used to be. Normally, any excuse would be perfect for lounging on the couch all day. A two day sickness would have been an excuse to take the whole week off. No longer.
I got a ton of sleep last night and feel mostly like my normal self today. So, I did the LiveFit exercises and my cardio. It was a little rough. I don't think I am quite 100% yet, but it still was great to lift and move again.
I'm at a pretty significant time of year for me. It's been 3 years since I started losing weight the healthy (and long lasting) way, and it's been a year since I started working with my trainer. A lot has changed in that time. I wrote a blog about it over at my other blog. You can read it here, if you're interested. ifimnotfatwhatami.blogspot.com/2011/

This week has been filled with reflection and working on promoting my writing, which is long overdue. So, maybe it was good that I got sick. It gave me time to think about how much I've changed and where I am going from here.


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