Friday, July 01, 2011
Today I had a date with the hubby. We went to a yummy Japanese restaurant and overindulged slightly. I stayed within my calories today, but the food was more greasy than what I usually eat. My body wasn't thrilled.
A few hours later I had a session with my trainer. We did superset lifting, which was more difficult than usual, and she threw in some new moves with the 15lbs medicine ball. It was hard but fun. I got to slam the ball into the floor and catch it as it bounced back up. It was a great stress reliever, and I felt really strong when the ball actually bounced up (they were not easy to bounce).
Then we ended with a three mile run. We've run it a couple times before. The first one was incredibly rough, and the second went really well, which boosted my spirits and also set me up for disappointment this week.
I knew it was going to be rough. I didn't eat well, and I'm still recovering from the camping trip. It was incredibly hard. I felt sick every time we ran uphill, and I got a stitch in my side that would not go away. Still, I got through it.
Then my trainer said something interesting. She said that a bad run was common and nothing to stress about. She also said they are good because then the good runs feel extra good. I hadn't thought about it like that. I always assumed everyone else always loves their run and that I could never truly be a runner because I wasn't blissed out every second I was pounding out the miles.
I like the bad ones, honestly. They are awful while I am doing them, but when I'm done, I feel great. I feel like I accomplished something just by getting through it without giving up. The old me would have started walking as soon as I got that stitch (not even a mile into it).
It's progress even if it sucks at the time.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
So, I've been camping for almost a week. I love camping. I used to love the food, too. Hot dogs cooked over a fire tasted better than anything (and don't even get me started on s'mores).
Here's what I realized:
1. Hot dogs are pretty nasty. Yes, the first one was devine and filled with blissful childhood memories, but after that the grease and gross meat taste were all I could think about with each bite.
2. S'mores are too sweet, too gooey, too stale graham cracker. One bite was enough to satisfy that craving.
3. Completely switching my diet, level of exercise, and quality of sleep was a BAD idea.
I notice the difference now. Eating well and taking care of myself has made me so in tune with my body that I notice the slight changes. And, let me tell you, slipping back into old habits for the sake of camping made me feel AWFUL.
So, where does motivation come into this story? From the one smart thing I did all week.
We were camping close to home for my daughter's birthday, so I didn't cancel my training session. On the day of, I was dreading it. I felt awful, tired, and completely unmotivated. I was feeling like it was pointless to even move, let alone try to sprint for an hour with my awesome but sometimes demonic trainer (my own personal Jillian). I felt like staying on the beach with our friends who had come to visit, thus making the day that much more hectic and training even less appealing.
So, anyway, I felt like crap, but I went anyway. I knew it was going to be bad. it was going to hurt. I was going to feel sick.
But, I went.
We met at the local soccer field. She was finishing up with some other clients, several of which were moms of some of the students I work with. One of the women was just starting out, but she was trying her best to keep up with the others. I started to feel bad for being so down on my own training. I had been in that woman's place. I had once tried my best every time with a smile on my face.
When I started my training, my trainer told me something that changed my entire mood that day. The woman who was just starting out had requested to go through the same training I do. She had seen my progress from fat to fit and wanted to know what my trainer had done to make me this way. She wanted to be like me, look like me, and be as strong as me.
Me? strong? I guess I am.
Someone wants to be like me? This I find incredibly strange since some days I would rather be anyone else.
It was amazing motivation. People I rarely even think about are watching me. They notice the changes that I forget or take for granted. It makes me want to work even harder and achieve my goals.
This woman wants to run the same half marathon that I am training for, and I want to help motivate her the way her words motivated me.
I worked my butt off that session. It hurt. I felt like crap. My body ached from sleeping on the ground. My body wasn't fueled properly, and I struggled. But, I pushed through. I worked hard and started to smile. It started to feel better. My body felt better, and by the end I was happy I'd gone to training. I also switched back into my healthy mindset and did my best to eat as well as I could for the rest of the time I was camping.
Sometimes motivation comes from an unexpected source. A simple comment can change everything. Words from an acquaintance can stop a vicious downward spiral.
Back on track!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I played soccer in high school (just JV- nothing fancy), and I loved it. What I didn't love were soccer shorts. They never felt comfortable or flattering. They looked awesome on other girls, but I just wasn't built for them. Or so I thought.
Today for the first time in over 12 years I wore a pair of soccer shorts. Not just wore them. Rocked them. They felt comfortable, and they made me feel like the athlete I am becoming. The athlete I always wanted to be.
It may seem like a simple thing to get so excited over (or blog about), but it made me feel great! Combined with my new love for tank tops (thank you weight lifting for these sexy, sexy shoulders) this summer is starting out great. I'm feeling strong, happy, and proud.
I'm buying more shorts!
Monday, June 20, 2011
This past weekend was the wedding weekend. We stayed at a beautiful B&B and indulged in luscious 3 course breakfasts. The wedding was fun and fantastic, but free wine was abundant, and though I rarely indulge, I had more than I should have.
I'm okay with that.
I chose to relax this weekend. I stayed active but less intense than usual, and I allowed myself to indulge. I put on three pounds.
I'm okay with that, too.
I've been bouncing back and forth on the scale for a while. Most of the time I eat well, and my weekly exercise routine is intense. I feel confident in my eating and fitness right now.
Still, I feel like I need some new goals.
I'm reading The Spark right now, and it's got me thinking it's time to change things up a little. So, I've come up with my Happy Plan. I'm going to focus on being happy and feeling good.
MY HAPPY PLAN:
1. Yoga for at least 10 minutes a day
I felt great when I used to do yoga 5days a week, but it got hard to fit it in as I increased my training in other areas. I love the calm, stretched, and clearheaded feelings I get from yoga, and if I can even get 10 minutes daily, I know I will have less anxiety and stress.
2. Positive Thinking
When I focus on the positive of any situation, I feel better, calmer, more able to deal with any situation. With practice, I know this can become second nature. I kept it up for a while before getting sucked back into some negative patterns. This time I'm not going back!
I always feel better when I'm rested, and this is another thing that will get easier from the practice of yoga and positive thinking.
4. Veggies at least twice a day
When I eat veggies I feel great. I feel lighter, healthier, and most importantly Full. I eat less junk. Veggies make me happy
This is my focus now. I think it will help me lose some more, but even if the scale doesn't budge, I know I'll feel good about myself.
I'm definitely okay with that.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I am a loner by nature. I have a few close friends, but they're the patient ones who don't mind when I vanish every once in a while. I need my space, and when I get too down, I need some time alone.
I've never interacted with groups online. I really didn't know what to expect when I joined Sparkpeople. I thought I would keep to myself and use the trackers but not much else. For a while it worked. I've just started blogging and taking my first tentative steps into the Sparkpeople community. It seems strange to me. Could I actually belong to this group and feel like an actual member?
Everyone on Sparkpeople is amazing. I read their blogs and cheer for them and their accomplishments. I understand their feelings and failures, too, and I started to wonder if I could fit in here. I tentatively started commenting on some of the blogs that really moved me. I started commenting on facebook posts, and other Sparkers began to like them.
It made me feel good. Like someone actually completely understands where I'm at in this journey. My friends and family tend to either not be interested in health and fitness at all or they have been training for years and don't really get how I could lose 81 pounds and still feel fat and useless some days.
So, I started blogging. I didn't think anyone would read them, but it was a safe place to vent my feelings and be totally honest about this crazy, empowering, exhausting journey.
Then someone commented on a blog. And another one. And someone added me as a friend. I was beginning to really feel like part of something huge and amazing.
The other day sealed it for me. I have been feeling really down lately. Things are difficult, and I have been struggling with changes in my workout routine. Eating has been a nightmare for the last week and a half, and I wrote blogs to deal with some of my feelings. To my surprise, they ended up being more positive than I expected them to be. And, I got comments.
It made me feel great. Just a little support from people I've never met made me feel so much better.
Then Sparkpeople made total sense. I get it now. I am thrilled to be part of this amazing community. Thank you for the support, and know that I support you, too. Even if we've never met.
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