Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Until last year I had never run a long distance. I decided to try a local 10k last year and trained hard all winter. I've now completed several 5ks as well as the 10k, and after the 10k I thought, WHY NOT try a half marathon? WHY NOT? has been my weight loss mantra, and it has gotten me to face many things that I used to fear.
I spent a lot of time thinking about it. 13.1 miles is a terrifying distance, but I knew I had to do it. I knew I could do it if I trained properly and had the support I need. I finally decided to tell my trainer, making it impossible to change my mind.
I started my training program yesterday, and even though I've taken several months off from distance running, I got back into it with no problem. I'm feeling like I can do this. It amazes me to think about who I was just a few years ago. A half marathon would have never even crossed my mind. I feel strong, determined, and proud.
As for getting the support I need, I have the most amazing husband, and he encourages all of my crazy ideas and supports me as much as he can. I know he'll be cheering for me when I cross that finish line.
There's no going back. My trainer has recruited a bunch of ladies to join us, and I am thrilled to have company. I can't quit. I won't stop, and I'll finish strong.
I'll keep blogging about my training. Between this and becoming a Zumba instructor I think I am at my limit for major challenges for 2011, but I'll throw in a few 5ks for good measure.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
I'll admit that I haven't always been the most positive person. I focused mainly on negative comments (real or perceived) and was constantly second guessing myself. I was convinced everyone hated me, and I wrapped myself in a heavy layer of fat to protect myself. If I was fat, that was why they hated me. I didn't have a personality. I was just fat.
I lost about 40 pounds without changing the way I thoug about myself and others. I felt better, but I still hid in my house and felt awkward around other people. Around the 40 lb point, I did something terrifying. I went to a zumbathon. I had always wanted to try it, and they were donating the money to a children's hospital. I knew I had to do it. I figured I could hide in the back and no one would notice me.
I almost didn't go. That morning I was so nervous I felt sick, and I seriously considered staying home. I knew I would regret it and never try Zumba if I didn't go that day, so I grabbed my sneakers and forced myself out the door. It was a life changing choice.
The Zumbathon was a blast. I felt good. I felt confident. I danced for a good part of my life before I got fat, and it was amazing to be able to do it again. I loved it and knew I would go back.
I started doing Zumba twice a week. I was good at it, and my new body could handle that level of exercise. The weight kept coming off, and I discovered that I really enjoyed the group exercise environment. One day my instructor announced a 6 week boot camp that a local trainer was running. I signed up immediately. Again, it scared me, but I knew I had to just do it and not let fear get in the way.
The boot camp challenged me in ways I never had. I realized that I could sprint, and I really enjoyed it. I felt strong and was soon keeping up with the trainer without too much of a problem. I learned how to zone out and ignore the pain. The trainer said I would benefit from one on one training, another terrifying but appealing idea.
Now, I go to her kickboxing and Pilates classes and weight train with her every week. I love lifting weights and look and feel better than I ever have. I am within 20lb of my goal weight, and I feel great. I just took another scary but exciting step and got certified to teach Zumba. I start my classes tomorrow, and while I am nervous, I am really excited, too. My life has changed greatly in the last year, and I am so excited for the future.
Once I started Zumba, I also started consciously thinking positively. It was a struggle at first, and I would have to literally say stop to myself and think about the positives of a given situation. It was hard at first, but with practice, it got easier and now I barely think about it. I am a positive, healthy person in my mind and body, and I am loving life.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I've been plateaued for a while now, and it is getting frustrating. Every morning I wake up ready to stick to my planned meals and not binge eat at night, but every evening I find myself succumbing to temptation or boredom. Every morning I regret the weight gain. It's even more frustrating because I exercise like crazy almost every day. I should not be plateaued.
I'm always hopeful, though. I've already lost around 75lbs, and I feel myself getting stronger all the time. I've started weight training with my trainer, and my body is changing. I try to use that as motivation, and if I could just control my night-time snacking, I could make major changes.
Today is a new day, and I can get back on track. Last night was a small slip, so I'm not too far behind. I'm going to try to stay busy this evening and not give in. Every night the same internal conversation starts. I know it so well after all these years. If I can change my responses, I know I can do better. Today my morning hopefulness is going to help create a plan to get through this evening. I know I can survive, and tomorrow there will be loss on my scale. I've been at this for two years. I can do it. I just need to adjust my thinking, and I will be successful.
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