Monday, May 31, 2010
I started taking birth control at the start of 2010. I didn't experience any side effects except for breast growth (without weight gain anywhere else). Slowly but surely, I've gone from a B cup to a C cup. I've been a B cup for basically as long as I've been wearing bras, so this was rather an adjustment. My boyfriend loves it, but I have rather mixed feelings about this development. My boobs were one of my favorite body features, perky and dainty, but not too small. I feel as though I've lost part of my identity. It's a small yet significant change: the difference between B and C is the difference between having big small boobs and small big boobs.
One of the difficulties I'm having is that I feel heavier. It may be that my fat distribution has changed in some more subtle way as well because of the birth control, but I look at why whole body and I feel as though I'm bigger than I've been before at the weight I'm at. I watch the way clothes fit and drape, and even though I've always been a fan of closer fitting tops because I have a smaller waist, now I feel drawn to them defensively--I think, if I don't go close-fitting, will I look bigger?
I've been in the same six-pound range since September 2009, so I have ideas about how each weight from 124-130 looks on me. My happy weight in the past has been 125, so we will see how I look when I reach there again. It may just be that I've been at 125 for so long that any accumulated weight over that seems particularly egregious now, whereas the first time I hit 126.5 (my current weight), I was just happy and thought I looked great, even though I still was planning on losing a couple more pounds. I should take a tip from my past. I should celebrate myself as I am while pushing towards my goal with a positive spirit.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
After a few weeks of not sparking, which were crazy and invovled lots of eating out, I hopped on the scale to find I'd gained five pounds. I was horrified, and set right back to having good habits. Something I need to work on is eating well when I am out with others. I make healthy portions for myself at home, and I order healthy portions when out on my own, but remembering to stop when I'm full and to avoid unhealthy foods is a bit harder for me, since I process eating out as a special occasion.
I have starting weighing and tracking regularly this past week. I've dropped from 130.5 to 127.5, which is good. 124-125,5 was the range I was maintaining, and I had actually wanted to shave two or three pounds off that for a final weight range of 120-123, though I was content at around 125, too.
My body is responding quickly to the better treatment. Within two weeks I should be back where I started. However, this harrowing experience has reminded me how quickly my body can change. I've been losing then maintaining (and sometimes gaining back weight) since at least five years ago, when I first joined Sparkpeople. When I started I weighed 145 pounds. While this general weight range (and I even include 130.5 in this), seems natural for me now, I can never take it for granted. It came from eating well, and will go if I stop eating well. It's simple as that.
127.5 was from last night; now I'm at 126.5, whatever that means. I think this past week I lost about 2 real pounds and 2 in water weight from eating less salt.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
I had a few too many drinkis tonight and was over my caloric limit. Ended up at just under 2,000. I'm proud I logged it. My eyes are open. I'm watching what I'm doing. I was at a conference today and I made a lot of good decisions before I started drinking...
Although to clarify, the excess calories are from the alcohol itself; I did not overindulge in food.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
I made a salmon burger with teriyaki sauce and basil for dinner, on a bed of greens with a sweet potato. Delicious. However, teriyaki sauce is ridiculously salty! I don't even like it that much! Guess I need to find myself another marinade. Maybe vinegar or wine. Hmn.Time to experiment!
Sunday, April 04, 2010
I made it through Saturday and Sunday, away from home and eating out for much of it, without exceeding my caloric range. I'm very impressed with myself.
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