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Tired and running low on motivation

Monday, August 08, 2011

I've connected the dots and now know that my weight loss is completely tied to my BC cycle. What this means for me is that I lose weight once every four weeks, and at no time in between. Luckily, this week is my weight loss week. Judging by the results I've had the past few months, I will lose two pounds, which averages to 1/2 pound a week. Is that even worth a 'Woo hoo'? At this rate, it will take me at least another 5 months to lose 10 pounds and reach my goal weight. 13 months to lose 35 pounds just seems a little excessive.

I know ... I know ... scales are overrated. I know ... I know ... a loss is still a loss. I know ... I know ... a healthy, forever lifestyle is my ultimate goal. I know ... I know ... slow and steady wins the race.

Even with all that knowledge, I'm starting to feel worn down. I won't stop exercising and I know I'll lose the weight eventually. But I think I need a bit of a break from all this tracking. Next week, I'll be out of cell range and unable to track my food and exercise electronically. I think I've going to use this time to take a short hiatus from my wellness plan. To eat food without checking the calorie count or serving size. Just a little mental vacation to go with the physical vacation I'll be on.

Can't wait.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAVE2LOSE2GAIN 8/8/2011 5:50PM

    I understand your frustrations as well. I had to talk with my dr. about my "abnormal weight gain" We think its main contributor is my bc. Somethings I like but the abnormal weight gain is not one of them. And if a little vacation from your wellness plan is what you need, I would go for it too! Just make sure you get your motivation back and continue what you were doing. : ) Good Luck!

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    The real question is: how much better will YOU feel that much lighter? The longer it takes, the more likely it's permanent and it shows you're committed. I'll give you a emoticon

even if you don't give it to yourself.

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A story about yesterday morning

Saturday, July 30, 2011

On Friday mornings I help check in people for the morning class at the fitness studio I go to. On Fridays, the morning class is called MixxedFit (a workout combining dance fitness and toning). The check-in station, manned by a volunteer (me on Fridays), is near the front door and the regular reception desk, manned by the instructor, is at the back of the lobby, several feet the door.

Yesterday morning this woman came in, bypassed me, and got in line behind a mother and her small child at the reception desk. Once the mother was finished, this woman proceeded to check in at the reception desk as she wanted to bring a friend along. She pulled out her credit/debit card and tried to pay for her friend's drop-in fee. The instructor told her that drop-in fees can be only paid in cash. Well this pissed the woman off, but she stayed at the front desk to complain about the children at the studio. Apparently, at the last evening class she took, there were children running around and she complained to the owner about them. Now she wanted to complain about the small child who had been in front of her in line, "not to judge" his mother or anything. She comes to the studio to "get away from children," and yet here they are again.

Now, I don't know if you take morning classes or have taken them in the past. What I've noticed over the past several months is that if there are only one or two small kids sitting on the sides of the classroom, they are really quiet. They barely interact with each other. It's as if they haven't really woken up yet. Or maybe they ran around before they came to class and now need a nap.

The instructor tried calming this woman down and telling her that the kids in morning classes are fairly sedate. But you could see the annoyance in this woman's eyes. She left in a huff to go to the ATM and withdraw some cash.

She came back about 10 minutes later. This time her friend entered with her. Her friend was wearing jeans. Jeans! I thought 'I'm not sure how long her friend is going to last in class,' especially since it was already warm out. The woman and her friend proceeded past me again and waited in line again at the reception desk as the instructor was again busy helping other students. She didn't need to bypass me. I could have taken care of a drop-in. But it was her choice to ignore me, and so I let her wait in line.

I noticed the woman getting huffy again. Knowing her friend was a drop-in, I asked them if they had been to the studio before and signed the release waiver. As her friend quickly went about filling out the waiver, the woman just got more upset. "How much work is it to take a class?! What a mess this is!" When her friend handed me the waiver, the woman said "Finally! If I had known it would be this much of a hassle, I wouldn't have invited you."

Ten minutes into class, we started running around the block for three laps. The woman and her friend slowly ran the first lap, walked the second one, and sat out the third one. About 10 minutes after that, they left the class. I followed them to the door so that I could relock it after them.

Walking to the door, I thought that maybe the friend had had enough or didn't like the toning part of class - not everyone does. (I wasn't alone in this suspicion; several of the other students thought the one in jeans was the reason for their abrupt departure.) And that's when I heard the woman tell her friend that "It's the smoking. I need to cut back. I can't do that much if I'm smoking."

That surprised me. This impatient, annoyed, huffy woman knew that she wouldn't last through the class and yet all she put out the entire time she was at the studio was negativity and sourness. Trying to infect those around her with her displeasure. Also, she chose to leave instead of taking a break or easing up on her intensity -- both options available to her.

Now, why am I putting this story into a blog? First off, because I just found it really odd that someone would do what this woman did. She paid for her friend to go with her, knowing neither of them would get a workout. No wonder her friend wore jeans; she wasn't concerned with overheating. She knew she wouldn't be there long enough to overheat.

Second, I keep wondering what will happen with this woman moving forward - now that she's quite aware of the physical limitations smoking imposes on her. I see her with two possible paths. One path is for her to reduce her smoking or even quit in order to meet her health goals. The other path is to find that her addiction smoking is a bigger driver than her desire to be healthier and she stops exercising regularly.

I'd like to think she'd take the first path. That her health would be that important to her. I mean she did go all the way to the ATM and back to pay for her friend's drop-in fee. Then again, because of her negative attitude, I think the second path is more likely. Smoking is a difficult habit to break; regular exercise is a difficult habit to start.

Do you find the woman's actions odd? Which path do you think she'll take?


Tzatziki-Style Yogurt Dip, Nom Nom Nom

Friday, July 29, 2011

I'm not a big believer in covering vegetables with heavy sauces and dressings. I think vegetables have plenty of flavor and those flavors don't need to be masked. That said, I'm also a big fan of Tzatziki; it's awesome! Of course the lowest calorie way to eat tzatziki is on raw veggies. Dilemma.

Of course, another part of the problem is that most recipes for tzatziki call for sour cream, which is fairly calorie dense. Because I'm not willing to trade chemicals for fat, I use regular sour cream, adding even more calories with every dunk. What's a weight-losing girl to do?

This weekend I made a lovely light tzatziki-style dip with lowfat plain yogurt (6 oz), minced garlic (one clove), dried dill weed (1/2 to 1 tsp), and a little S&P. Yum! Yum! Yummy! I think the secret is to use a tangy yogurt. So many of the plain yogurts on the market today are bland, bland, bland. With a tangy yogurt, you don't need to add sour cream and its extra calories to the mix.

As I am a hypocrite, I dipped and dipped and dipped raw veggies into the yogurt dip and now it's almost all gone. I didn't miss the sour cream one bit.


Add in some chopped, peeled, seeded cucumber. I would have added this if I had some on hand.

Try different plain yogurts -- Lowfat or nonfat, regular or greek. Look for something with a little tang. (Do NOT make this with Tillamook's new plain, lowfat yogurt. That stuff tastes like thick milk -- no tang whatsoever. Not even a hint of a tang.)

Add in some minced mint or substitute mint for dill.


I would write more, but my dog has repeatedly told me it's time for her daily walk.



Two months left until Porta-Potty-Palooza!

Monday, July 18, 2011

In 2005, I participated in the Seattle 3-Day for the Cure. That's right, I walked 60 miles in the fight against breast cancer. It was such an amazing experience that I served on the Crew in 2006 and again in 2010. What that also means is that I've spent 9 days (3x3) using porta-potties, AKA santi-cans and honey buckets. Thank goodness for the mobile showers with hot running water.

Behind the pink tents is one of the many lines of porta-potties you'll see at the 3-Day.

This year, I'm gearing up to do it AGAIN! Yes, that's right -- three more days of porta-potties! Woo hoo! I'm serving on the Lunch Crew this year -- the best crew ever. I'll be cheering on more than 2,500 walkers as they replenish their systems and rest their feet.

And you can support them too by making a donation to help me reach my fundraising goal! A donation of any size is greatly appreciated. bit.ly/qLxvgA

The net proceeds from the event go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure and help the organization fund vital breast cancer research and community programs. These programs include funding research into life-saving drugs, as well as education and support programs throughout the US.

My apologies if you consider this to be spam, even if it's a blog and not an email. As I know several walkers this year, I'm finding that I need to cast my net even further and ask people I normally wouldn't ask for donations.

What fundraisers are near and dear to your heart? What fundraising events are you involved in year after year?


Shopping ... I may love you again.

Friday, July 15, 2011

You know you might be in need of a new wardrobe when your significant other starts online window shopping for you. "Honey, I really think you'd look great in clothes like this, this, and this." And "Honey, don't you think it's time you donated some shoes and bought new ones like these?" Oh my goodness gracious.

The more I look in my closet lately, the more frustrated I become with everything in it. Needless to say, I've had something against buying trendy or interesting clothes. For years, I wanted to define my style as classic -- pieces that are well-made and don't go out of style. This means lots of solid colored tops, a few vertical stripes and the rare patterned piece. I'm happy to be at a point where I can wear my smaller tops, but I'm also disappointed that they're basically twins of what I had in larger sizes. (Seriously, I have the same shirt in the same color or a slight variation in two different sizes.) I'm so bored looking at my closet that I could honestly fall asleep.

On July 5, I realized that I only have one cute summer skirt that fits. I put "cute casual skirt" on my shopping list. Next on July 6, I got dressed in my suit skirt and a nice dress shirt and headed to a career fair. Well my skirt was so big that my shirt (which finally fits correctly in the bosom) kept getting untucked. And my old pumps killed my feet. On the way home, I stopped at a mall and quickly found a new black skirt, khaki shorts, and a cute denim skirt (for $5 -- how could I say no?). I went into a shoe store, but could not persuade my feet to try pumps. I walked out of that store with some comfy slippers. My feet thanked me.

I got home from the mall to find my husband was home from work early. He proceeded to tell me that he thinks I need new shoes, and then he emailed me a list of pumps that he thought I might like. Did I tell him that I was going shopping on my way home? No, I did not. Did I tell him that I went shopping for pumps? No, I did not. Yet there he was with a list of pumps.

I tell him about my shopping trip and my search for more skirts. He then started to do some more online browsing for me to find me some skirts that I would look good in. Apparently, he too hasn't been thrilled with my wardrobe lately. He thinks I'm beautiful, but that I don't always dress to show people that. What's a girl to do? Yes, that's right -- go shopping.

Taking some of his suggestions, I headed to a nicer mall on Saturday, one with a real Nordstrom and not a Nordstrom Rack. I started by searching for a new pair of pumps. After visiting several stores, I found a pair at Clarks, along with a cute pair of patent leather flats -- both on sale.

Note the pink mark on my right foot from my old pumps. (I would show you a picture of my new pumps, but I'm still waiting for my special order to arrive.)

On a side note ... The strangest thing happened to me at the Clarks store. The saleswoman measured my feet and told me that I'm a size 6 - 6.5, even though for years I've worn sizes 7.5 and 8. Confused, I thought "Has vanity sizing now moved to shoes? Are women upset when you tell them they have a large shoe size?" Those thoughts were quickly dismissed when I couldn't fit into anything smaller than a size 7. Hah! Take that shoe/foot measurement apparatus!

Okay, back to shopping, I walked out of the shoe store and a skirt in a nearby store window caught my eye. Now it was in one of the stores that I had never been in -- White House, Black Market. I'm not sure what intimated me about the store, but it just looks so expensive and chic when you walk by. It must be the white and black color scheme; they specialize in black and white clothing, with only hints of other colors mixed in. The skirt was similar to the ones my husband kept showing me; I had to go in and check the price.

I should pause here and mention that I was at a mall that has a handful of expensive shops, mixed in with the regular shops. So I didn't know if the skirt was going to $75 or $300. It was $90 -- a little steep for a skirt when I still have 15 lbs to lose. I told this to the saleswoman who helped me find the price tag, which was well hidden. Then she showed me a similar skirt on the sale rack and started to pull other pieces for me as I was invited to browse the rest of the store. I don't go into shops where salespeople do that. Cash register noises started ringing in my head. But I decided to go with the flow. "Try on these six outfits you selected for me? Sure, why not? What have I got to lose but the shirt on my back? I don't like it that much anyway."

At the dressing room, I was introduced to my personal stylist who would work with me "to build a complete outfit." (More cash register noises) The stylist won me over by congratulating me on my weight loss. It made me pause and reflect on how much I've lost - 20 pounds. I don't always do that as I'm so focused on losing more, reaching my goal weight. But 20 pounds is enough to make me feel normal again. In my head the normal me is between 165 to 175 lbs; right now I'm 175 lbs or so -- normalcy is returning.

Although I heard cash register noises the entire time -- an outfit isn't complete without shoes (ca-ching) and jewelry (ca-ching ca-ching), it was a great experience. Everything I tried on looked amazing on me. Even the clothes that I didn't like or weren't my style looked great on me. I have never gone into a store and had everything fit so well. They must be designing for women built the same way I am. That was great considering I always walk out of stores feeling that I'm built wrong, instead of the clothes being designed for someone else -- and we all know it's really the clothes. I am looking forward to going back to that store when I reach my goal weight. Or maybe I'll go back sooner and start replacing some of my boring tops.

What I liked best about the experience was that I successfully took a chance and stepped out of my comfort zone. Next time I go to the nicer mall, I'm definitely walking into several of the stores I normally pass because they have too many prints or they look like they might be expensive. I don't know what I'm missing unless I actually take a chance and look around. You never know what I might find.

I didn't come out of the store with "a complete outfit," like they had hoped. I came out with a skirt and a top (both on sale) that don't work together. However, the ruffled skirt goes well with any plain black top. And the super-cute ruffled top goes well with any plain bottom. And since I am the queen of plain clothing, I had no trouble finding existing pieces to match them with.

Hope you have an enjoyable shopping experience soon!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEASCHERTZ 7/15/2011 8:32PM

    Loved your post. You look great! Can't wait to get back in the shopping mood (just finishing my first SparkPeople week 40+ lbs is my target). Congratulations on your weigh loss and thanks for the scoop on White House Black Market. I too thought it would be a bit fancier than I would feel comfortable browsing/shopping in. Now I think I will put it on my list when I have gotten in shape.

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    Loved your shopping story. You look darling. emoticon

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