I am struggling so much at the moment that nothing seems worth it. Last week I put down to lose 6 pounds on one of the craft teams goals and I really thought I could do it. It is all down to Michael and his moods, he had two great weeks when he was up and we did some great things and I even enjoyed my birthday but now it seems as if just giving up is the best thing. Last night was very bad. I am running out of time for now.
I have still not managed to get hold of mum, think she may have gone away for a few days but why she did not say when she spoke to Michael on Saturday morning I do not know. She lives about 35 miles away in Newark.
I am thinking of going back to Weight Watchers as I know I will not lose the extra weight on my own, Michael says he will help me but not sure I can rely on him especially when he is down and I am on my own in the evenings.
I am feeling a bit low and tired but had thought of going to a line dancing class but worried about my back and don't think I could stand up for too long.
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I had a lovely day on Friday(my birthday) as I went out for a meal with the carers forum, I did A little shopping before meeting up with them to take a mini bus to the place we were going to have the meal.
Yesterday we went to see a play at the theatre in Nottingham, it was very good and has it was a farce we had a laugh.
I am going to give blood this afternoon, I have missed several sessions because of transport problems.
One cloud on the horizon is Mum, she rang yesterday morning but I was at the shops and I have not been able to get hold of her since, she is 78 in a couple of weeks time and a diabetic.
I have got an evening on my own to do as I please, I am going to my church craft group and then I shall put my relaxation machine on.
I am playing a silly CD of childrens classic songs, does anyone remember Ed Stewpot on weekend radio? Sorry American pals you will not know him.
Feeling tired still but I am trying hard to keep on track. Not sure why but usually feel worse for the two or 3 days after michael comes up, just wish he could see what he is doing.
I am going out for a meal on Friday with the carers group I go to, it is a little place on the River Derwent.
Michael has just come up after just over 4 weeks down, unfortunately he missed the weekend and our friend from Peterborough was visiting, I took Des to a little village for a well dressing but could only find one but there was a Florence Nightingale which was very interesting and yesterday we went to a garden open which was lovely and we had tea and blueberry cake.
Michael being down has really got to me especially as my back has been playing up(I have sciatica problems and as we live near the top of a hill it is not easy getting about, stress also make me very tired. I do not know what I would without my friends, pen-pals and Sparkpals