Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Sometimes the heart is the thing to follow. Sometimes it isn't. This time was a loss and I know that it will get better. Right now I just want to sit down and drink a bottle or 12 of wine, have some ice cream and cry. Instead, I grabbed some grape tomatoes, and a bottle of water and headed out for a walk in the woods. I cried, and then I cried some more. I love with everything that I have. I probably love someone too soon, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. I still want to cry, but this time, it isn't because of the amount of calories I ate, it is simply because my heart hurts. I am still confused about the whole thing, not sure what went wrong with him, but I do know that this is not going to be the reason I undo everything I have worked so hard for. I know that at some point in the very near future I am going to have a day where all I eat is junk food, but it will be ok because I am only going to allow myself that one day. Tonight and tomorrow are going to be the hardest at work. I will have 12 hours at work to think about it. I am going to try and keep my mind off of it, but so far it isn't working. It can only go up from here right?
Monday, July 21, 2014
I am sitting here at work realizing how far I have actually come. It seems like the weight is sliding off. I know that currently it is water weight, and it will slow down, but it is still gone. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it this long. I havenít been tracking all my food, but I do know that I am staying well within my calorie range. If I do go over, I donít beat myself up. I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and that one day isnít going to break it. I am already starting to feel better. Today I only had one can of soda. ONE CAN!! This is such an amazing feat for me, I donít even know how to explain it. I would have no issue drinking 3 or even 4 of the big fountain sodaís from Circle K every day. Every.Day. Today, one can!!! I think I might actually be on to something and have something figured out. With my eating, I am not telling myself that I canít have this or that, I simply watch how much I eat of it. At work I cannot eat slow, I only have a certain amount of time before I have to go back. I have been bringing my food in from home and that is making a huge difference. I am also not bringing in a ton of options. I am bringing in one meal, and 3 small snacks for break. That is it. That is helping too. Hope everyone is enjoying their time!
Monday, July 14, 2014
I am down 1.8 this week. I can't tell you what I did, or how I did it but it is gone and i intend to keep it that way. This is how I want to do it. I don't want to think, oh my goodness I have barely eaten this week and I didn't lose? I want to say, I don't know because I was never hungry and never gave any thought because I am changing how I eat. I am changing how I look at food.
I was absolutely craving chinese today. Since I knew that I would over eat I was already beating myself up and I hadn't even gone yet. I decided that the 8.15 that I would have spent on Chinese was going to go in a jar. I put the money there and I am not sure what that money is going to be for yet, but it felt good to know that I made a fantastic choice and beat the craving! I also get to keep the money.(I ended up making a ranch turkey burger......and didn't regret it one bit!)
This was a fantastic day for me!
Friday, July 11, 2014
I have come to realize that I am not very good at sticking with things. What I have also realized is, that it is ok. I donít have to. What I do have to do is change the way I think about things in order to get them done. This is another start on my weight loss journey. The other times I have done this were not wasted, they were lessons that I needed to learn before continuing on. I know that I will struggle. I want to be able to lose the almost 200 lbs that I want to. I have already lost 32 of those, so I need to make sure that I am giving myself credit for those pounds because I still worked hard for that. I need to remind myself that I didnít gain all of this overnight and I (unfortunately)wonít lose it all overnight.
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