EGORDON12020   3,059
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The ever expanding belly ... why it's a good thing

Monday, June 20, 2011

Don't get me wrong, weight gain for almost any reason really isn't good, but I think most of you will be smiling by the end of this. So, I'm thinking a little poem is in order:

A little bean that starts to grow
a little line is what lets us know
with little eyes, toes and hands
a baby grows while mom expands
mom just smiles for it's what she knows
that safe inside a baby grows.

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You'd be surprised at how many baby emoticons there are on here!

As for those of you curious, I haven't stopped eating healthy (er) than I had been. I still walk and do light exercises, and my doctor isn't concerned about the 10lbs that I've lost in the last trimester. (I attribute that loss to a HUGE craving for green beans.... I thought I was about to become one!)

And definitely after the last year (more if you ask my hubby) of being ready, we finally get to add a 3rd baby to our family. Finally, for those of you getting ready to ask, yes I already know about sparkpeople's sister site called babyfit. =)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYIRISH317 6/23/2011 9:59AM


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KAYWEB555 6/21/2011 9:48PM

    emoticon I had a friend that was 220 when she got pregnut for her first baby. She had just started to lose weight because she was eating healthy foods. By the time of her delievery she had lost 75#'s and the baby was 7.5#'s. She expected that once she gave birth she would start putting the weight back on. But she was nursing and she lost another 20#'s by the time she stopped nuring when Jenny was 18months old and you know what happened. Right she got pregnut again . This time she didn't gain more than 19#'s and Katie was 7.5#. So you never know this may be your magic weight loss helper !
Wishing you a fun filled time over the next 9 months and there after. Kay * The Pups emoticon emoticon

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WOW where have I been?!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Probably sleeping actually. I've been pretty tired lately. And before any of you go on about getting thyroid checked or needing more Vitamin D. I know that's not the cause. I'll share the news when I'm ready, I'm just not there yet. Until then, I'll try to check in a little more often, and stay on track with eating healthy and staying motivated to move.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYWEB555 5/16/2011 10:42PM

    Well, that is fine,just glad that you have joined in. Glad to hear from You ! Please don't be a stranger !

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JURI62 5/16/2011 10:07PM

    Nice to hear from you! emoticon

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My brain hates me!

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Yes it's true, my brain hates me. If my brain loved me I would be able to go places without having to give myself a pep talk first. I would not feel like I'm going to die when I pick my daughter up from school. I wouldn't dread heading to the supermarket to get groceries. I would hate leaving the house.

This has been going on for as long as I can remember. It has lead to me quitting just about every job I've ever had, quitting school, and it's the reason why I don't make friends that easily.

But at least I know that I need help. I need to see someone to fix what is broken with me. I can't live fearing everything that is outside my house. I shouldn't fear public places because I have no way to escape should I have a panic attack. I want to enjoy the things I used to WAY back when. I want to feel normal again.

Please don't feel sorry for me, because that is not what I'm asking or saying. But please, feel free to leave encouraging words to help me through this.

My name is Beth and I have agoraphobia.

(just really needed to put this somewhere and get it off my chest.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDY1TWO3 11/4/2010 1:16PM

    You will recover - please get help. My oldest daughter had a similar problem. She would not go out while it was light, did not like crowds. She now is an assistant manager of a Caribou coffee shop and deals with people all day long. It is curable.

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EGORDON12020 11/4/2010 1:02PM

    It's very hard to explain. I don't like leaving the house. I don't like meeting new people. It's not that I fear what people are thinking of me. Just being in crowded places, standing in line with people behind me, crowded parking lots. They all freak me out! I wish I never had to go to the store because there are more people there than I'm comfortable with. I don't feel safe outside my house, which is sad because I enjoy so many things. I don't engage in school activities (for my oldest), I don't participate in groups (like book clubs and parties).

It's not that I don't like I see in the mirror because I'm working hard to change that.

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ALEHAYES 11/4/2010 1:00PM

    I used to get panic attacks when I was alone in public, so I know where you're coming from. Just know that you CAN get through it, and you'll come out stronger on the other side.

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XSTARRYSKIESX 11/4/2010 12:34PM

    Sometimes, its normal to have to pep talk yourself to leave the house. it sounds like you need to find a little more self love. Do u think itd be different if you could look in the mirror and be pleased with who you are, inside and out? Phobias happen, but the treatment lies within the individual.

What exactly scares you? People thinking things about you? Just an overall panic feeling when you're in public?

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So what happened to the Motivational Member posting this past week?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Well.... I actually didn't get around to doing it. If you read my last blog (I think) it gave a glimpse into why I didn't get to it this week.

At some point in our lives we will all experience the death of a loved one. For some of us, it can send us spiraling back into our bad habits from before (myself included). What we really need to strive for is a way to deal with it effectively without food. What are some ideas that we can use to help calm our grief without stuffing our stomachs?

Celebrate the life they had- I can't stress this one enough. My fiance's great great aunt loved her life. Even after she had a stroke and was in hospice, she still managed to find a way to do some of the things she love like having flowers in her room (she loved to garden and truly loved nature) and loved seeing our kids when we brought them to visit.

Learn from their past- Making it a point to see how they grew up is important. It shines a light into our soul and reveals how truly great this person was in our lives. The kind of music they listened to growing up, the friends they kept, the love they shared with those close to them.

If you didn't get to say goodbye- say it now! If that's what you need to feel closure (although, I think this is totally the wrong word choice) then do it. Don't let their life coming to an end stop you from living yours. They still love you no matter where they are, but you are here, you have the ability to accept things that you can't change, and that includes the loss.

If you need someone to talk to, send me a sparkmail and I'll be more than willing to chat with you about whatever you have on your mind.

I know this one seems a little dark, but there are at least 2 sides to everything. Figuring out what they are may not be easy, but it is possible.


From bad to worse.... and it's only Tuesday!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

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This week has just been the most awful, horrible, craptastic week by far, and it's ONLY Tuesday.

Yesterday, barring much thought to this week's MM (which I'm currently doing) I had to drag myself to do it. I feel happy for the person who has shown much success, but I just feel so angry. WHY me? Why have I been stuck at the same weight since August? Where am I going wrong?

I exercise, I eat relatively good, and still it just seems to be stuck! I dunno, I just feel MAD!

This was after I had spent the morning taking my oldest to the doctor yet again because she keeps having accidents at school (everyday for the last 2 1/2 weeks). I had to argue with the doctor about getting bloodwork done. I know something is not right with my child and the doctor chalks it up to a behavior issue? GIVE ME A FLIPPING BREAK!!

So after arguing with the doctor she okays bloodwork and we go from the doctor office to the hospital and get the bloodwork done. This didn't go well at all. I could clearly see that the technician was nervous, so I know my daughter could, too. After several minutes of coaxing, nothing had worked. We (another technician and myself) ended up having to restrain her so the technician could draw blood. I really feel for my little girl. I wanted to just cry and wail with her.

From there I just felt worse. Because I know on Thursday she has an ultrasound and x-rays. I know those aren't as bad as a needle in the arm, but still frightening for a little child. To top off all those medical things going on with her, she also has an appointment with the urologist for UTI on top of UTI.

If dealing with all of that doesn't make a mother drained, how about what's happened today!

Ah, today. It blew. Totally blew. I woke up this morning to a child not dressed for school (her dad usually gets her dressed, but she couldn't find socks or a shirt.) and I forgot to pack her lunch for her field trip (they went pumpkin picking). I had to call the medical center to get her appointment for today changed because I didn't want her to miss said field trip. I could clearly hear the lady on the other end of the phone's tone with me as I changed her appointment. Was she never a kid? Did she never take field trips? Give me a break lady because you KNOW there are going to be walk-ins anyway!

I almost forgot to eat lunch today because of all the crap going on.

Then, while making dinner I get a call from my fiance's mother. I like talking to her, but I was stressed enough with 2 kids fighting, making dinner, and getting the fiance up for work (it's like trying to raise the dead!). Not the best time for someone to be calling to bug me.

So dinner's ready, hubby's is packed for work because I didn't get him up quick enough (which means I'll have to clean the containers out of my car tomorrow because he ALWAYS forgets to bring them in). The girls are eating and the phone rings AGAIN! This time it was my dad, he wanted to talk because well, he's technologically impaired (he has a facebook, but, well... you get the idea). So cold dinner for me because it's rude to talk and eat at the same time.

After I eat, the phone rings yet again! Seriously people, you know I get my kids ready for bed starting around 7:30! Ah, it's his mom again. This time we talk about my fiance's dad retracting his offer to help his sister pay for their wedding (yeah, we do things in pairs in this family... be we don't have the same wedding date.... I would KILL because of that! ok, not literally, but you know what I mean...) I mean, I if you say you're going to pay for it then stick to your guns! Don't flip flop just because it's convenient for you.

So then I get complaining about Popsicles while I'm trying to tidy up a little (because my future mother-in-law is bringing over lasagna over for dinner tomorrow ... it's good but a calorie overload... and I'm sick of cooking!) and I still haven't managed to get any of that done because I've had a headache for the last 5 hours.

So after a bit the phone rings again, and it's my fiance's mom, again. This time she called to tell me that my fiance's great aunt passed away 20 minutes earlier. She told me to tell him, but he still hasn't called and he ALWAYS calls me from work to tell me good night.

I don't see this week getting any better, but who knows. Tomorrow is a new day. I can start over and go from there. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. One day at a time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMSKEE18 10/20/2010 2:47PM

    Sorry about you week! I know about stress, not the stress of being a mom, but just stress in general. Just remember, the day is what YOU make it so if you can try to keep a positive attitude the day may go a little better. Also, with being stuck try a different workout routine or try some new foods. Hope this helps!

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SAMMA4120 10/20/2010 11:23AM

    Yikes rough week, you have so much going on and so many responsibilities it must be so hard to find some time for yourself. I hope everything is ok with your daughter, and sorry to hear about your fiances great aunt passing. Let's just hope that the next days will get better, it can only go up from here right?

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RANGERRUNNER 10/20/2010 9:04AM

    I'm sorry your day was sooo bad. But don't let yesterdays crap invade on today. As for your daughter, if she is having repeated UTI's then she is definitely not having "behaviors", she is having a medical problem and the school, doctors etc need to acknowledge that! Also, take your phone off the hook doring meal time, you deserve that time to eat with your family! Hope today goes better for you!

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MRE1956 10/20/2010 8:11AM

    Wow - WTH is wrong with the people in your life, anyhow?

1) I'd stop worrying about rudeness, first of all - you deserve a hot meal - next time someone tries to stop you from doing so (even if it's a blood relative), STOP THEM COLD! No need to be nice here.....

2) As to that doctor wrt "behavior issues" - you mentioned that your daughter is being seen for "UTI on top of UTI" - WTH is up re this "behavior issue" crapola? I've had UTIs and let me tell you, they're certainly no fun, and they've impacted my own ADULT "behavior" - enough to make Mother Teresa curse like a longshoreman.....I can't even begin to imagine the impact on young children.....

3) As to that lady's "tone" - why not just return said "tone" right back next time? Will certainly make her day, for sure - just think of it as giving her "instant beotchy karma".....

4) Just curious - why didn't your fiance's mom contact him directly about his loss rather than requesting that you do so?
(Just sayin'......)

emoticon about your week......


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TRYN2SURVIVE 10/19/2010 11:36PM

    Hang in there!

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MAR-TISH-A 10/19/2010 11:35PM

    Take a break from your routine! Step out of your routine and look at your life and your decisions in a different light, maybe you need perspective to break out of your rut!!

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