Thursday, February 22, 2007
how do you know you're happy?
what makes it easy for you to see the change?
used to be I'd borrow a comment from the barenaked ladies and say I was like a cat, and happy made me fat. I don't want to be that girl anymore.
for me the image of happy is easily bounding up the stairs, or running along the beach with my daughter, or comfortably bending over to tie my shoes (none of the shoes i wear these days have laces).
the idea of happy is being able to shop for a new dress, or outfit, or bathing suit (wow - that's ambitious) without being depressed for days afterward. it's being invited to a wedding and being excited by the thought of looking for something new to wear. it's the notion of looking forward to getting some sun on a beach vacation and NOT worrying about what little kids will say about me on the beach in a swim suit.
the action of happy is laughter and play - - with my daughter, with my husband. it's the actual consideration of feeling as physically sexy as my husband says my brain is. it's dancing without getting winded, and being active without feeling like throwing up.
i have moments of joy in my life, don't get me wrong. and on average i would rate myself as living a life of contentment... sure i go through the everyday stresses of bill paying and house keeping, and work issues, and family crap - - but there's so VERY much for me to be grateful for, that when i look at the big picture, those little things can't possibly get me down.
it's just that i have to remind myself - - diagnose the happiness - - to dispel the crappy mood and the overwhelming urge to be down on myself for getting into such a riduculous state of health (or un-health) and such a sedentary life...