EDDYMEESE   11,231
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82 -new goals

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Well, last night I stayed with my brother and SIL and we got into a very *loud* argument about weight loss.

Here is why it got loud: my brother's solution to dieting, weight loss, etc....wait for it...WILLPOWER.

All. It. Takes. Is. WILLPOWER...he said.


His wife and I often commiserate about our weight. She's really gained a lot and I can see that it is really depressing her. She's reached a number I don't think she thought she could even reach. But there we both are. So we've, for the umpteenth time, recommited to each other as *real life* accountability partners.

We have a google doc going, 5-lb increment rewards, we're on MFP together, and we plan to text each other at least a few times a week to make sure we are on track. I really think we can make this work.

We've created some serious 5-lb increment rewards which makes the process so much more exciting :)

I got my hair cut. My hair is long, so it isn't like my cuts ever come out looking fantastically different than they did before, lol. But it is still nice to be pampered.

Back to work tomorrow. Have a good week, everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 8/21/2014 3:07PM

    I'm am just waiting for my always smarter than anyone, skinny as a rail all his life, BIL to offer his opinion on my Mr's and my weight loss!

So excited for you that you have a real-life accountability partner! GO you!


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    LOL!! Most men know so little about weight loss. For one thing, it is so much easier for them. My hubby has his own key to weight control and it really does work for him - he just gives up a sandwich a day and, voila, the weight comes off. Would it work for me? Not a chance!!

It's so nice you have an accountability partner. This may just be what you both need.

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WOUBBIE 8/20/2014 9:13PM

    Yeahhhhhh, willpower. That's... sustainable. Sure.


Glad you have a partner now! That really helps!

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/20/2014 8:50PM

    I think you'll both do well with your new program.

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BERKCHIK 8/20/2014 8:13PM

    yes, having an accountability partner can be an amazing motivator and support, if you're both fully on board. sounds great!

ps. you asked why i'm in pain.. i cut part of my finger off at work, and the doctor used NO anaesthetic on my hand when patching me up. i could've killed him.

Comment edited on: 8/20/2014 8:14:39 PM

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EVIE4NOW 8/20/2014 8:04PM

  How wonderful for you to have a close buddy. Take advantage of it.

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81 - a few days off

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I have today and tomorrow off:
Going to big brother's place this evening for dinner, then staying overnight and getting my hair cut tomorrow in Portland.
Then, back home.
Nothing special, but it is a break from the usual work and monotony.

Zvika and I have been doing a lot of talking about the future and I'm excited for where life might take us. Zvika's job, although still sucking the life out of us, is at least now "worth it" from a financial point of view. Money is certainly not everything for us, but it at least makes his long hours easier to swallow. His job track will be life-changing if he goes as far as he plans to and we're very excited about what the future may offer to us. We have a lot of plans :)

Today is generally speaking a bit of a down day for me. Shandi's leg is swelling and I'm, of course, panicking. I know that her time is limited and I'm lucky to still have her with me. A year out after diagnosis with Osteosarcoma is a huge deal. But the year has passed too quickly and I'm back in that "any day now" mode. I know the day is coming whether it is soon or even if she didn't have cancer, it would be in a year, two, maybe three. No matter what, whether she lives only 9 years or had she reached 12 years, it would have been too soon. It is never enough time. I'm trying not to complain or cry to Zvika, not with his dad being terminally ill.

I know that life without Shandi will go on and Zvika needs me to be strong for him with his father. Life always goes on

Right now the plan with Zvika's dad is that Zvika will fly to Israel ASAP when we get our passports. If the picture is bleak, he'll stay a week and come back, then we'll fly back together in October/November. If he goes there and he seems stable, we'll probably wait and fly back in January/February.

I am trying really, really hard to NOT get sucked into the depression that grips me life starts to get a little bit rocky. This is where I would usually disappear and bury my head for a while. I'm trying really hard not to do that this time, so bear with me, my friends.

Woubbie wrote a great blog about FlyLady's 1-2-3 routine


My 1-2-3's aren't really consistent with working on good habits, so here's my new list for myself for morning routine, which I'm going to add to my little streaking challenge. I'll work on an evening 1-2-3 routine when I've got this one down.

1. Get up 2. Make bed 3. Let dogs out
1. Check calendar and this list until it is a routine 2. Boil water 3. Treats for all (cats, dogs)
1. Sweep and dust 2. Check laundry 3. Empty dish rack
1. Weigh in 2. Brush teeth, hair, makup 3. Double check clothes for work/exercise, shoes, etc.
1. Prepare breakfast/lunch for work 2. Plan dinner 3. Check shopping list
1. Coffee 2. Spark 3. Get dressed - go to work

I'll try that out and tweak it if I don't like this routine...I'll update.

Have a good rest of your week, everybody!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHEBESS 8/20/2014 1:01PM

    Sending you and Zvika hugs and strength - I know how hard it is being far from family when there's a crisis such as an ill parent. All you can do is make plans such as those you already have, and go with it.

And life has its ups and downs - you accept that, love as much as you can, miss family (and pets) when they are gone, and keep moving on. Just the way it is.

Hugs to you.

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_RAMONA 8/20/2014 12:46AM

    I pray your FIL is able to move gently through this phase in his life, and that he and Zvitka have the visit of a lifetime... no words unsaid and hearts overflowing with all they mean to one another.

I'm sorry about your dog, too. That period of time when you know they are sick and dying, and they could go any day is so hard. I've lived through this with three cats now and it is never easy. It must be even harder as vet, running up against places your knowledge can't take you.

You're doing amazing! Wonderful and intriguing plan, and you're talking about how you feel. I'd say you've got this streaking thing on it's way!

I'm so glad that you still have family support HERE. Enjoy your time away.

We'll all be here when you return!

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    I'm glad you still have some family within driving distance that you can visit.

I think that when you guys get caught up financially you can both breathe a little easier.

I hate to hear about Shandi's leg. I know it was inevitable but I like to convince myself otherwise. I would be panicking too. When you love a pet you are never ready to give them up. I've had my feelings deeply hurt to the point of tears by friends who have pointed out to me that Reekie is just a rodent. They obviously don't understand our relationship. I do understand how you feel about Shandi and you can count on me to do whatever I can do to make this easier for you. I'm here for you.

I think similar things about losses. You have your husband and your other pets to take care of and it will keep you busy but the loss will still be deep and hurtful.

I hope that at least Zvika's dad is comfortable and that he will have quality time left to spend with his son. I was very touched to hear you describe his deep love for his father. Many men are afraid to show that. I stood by my hubby when he lost his parents and he did me when I lost my mom. It's a really tough time but having someone to support you makes it bearable. He was my rock.

Try not to close up into a shell. When need you too.

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/19/2014 3:03PM

    I know it's never enough time with our furry babies, and I understand that feeling so well that the meter's running. (for them and me) (smiling)

How exciting that you have such a bright future ahead together. He must be quite a talented, hard worker. (as are you)

Wishing you every happiness that your heart desires.

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BERKCHIK 8/19/2014 2:48PM

    life isn't always great, but that's one reason friends and sharing with them is good. so thank you for sharing with us. we're glad to be here.

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MEXGAL1 8/19/2014 2:30PM


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WOUBBIE 8/19/2014 1:36PM


Action helps with that bleak feeling, so keep doing things. Your notes are (I almost said "perfect" - the "p" word!!!) fabulous!

Comment edited on: 8/19/2014 1:40:41 PM

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79 - blah Sunday

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Work was terrible. So many terrible cases - like, abuse cases. It amazes me how ignorant people are. Today we saw a Pitbull who died because of FLEAS, as in, flea anemia. Every square inch was covered. He had FLY EGGS in his mouth, like perched along his gum lines. He was emaciated. Yes, animals can die from fleas.
I saw a cat who had been whipped around by his tail - guess what, that breaks the tail. The skin was ripped back and there were maggots living next to his visible spinal column. People did this.



Here is my Day 3 streak, because I have nothing more to say that is in any way helpful or positive:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 8/19/2014 8:32AM

    I do not miss working in animal hospital. Really makes you lose hope for humanity as a whole.

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MEXGAL1 8/18/2014 6:36PM

    I just bet you see so many awful things. Living in Mexico it is one of my complaints when I see a horse, sheep, goats, and dogs mistreated. I know their are poor people here that have a hard time feeding their family but they shouldn't get a horse then. I often have this skinny horse whose bones hang out tied down below our casa so he can graze on grass. He is so pathetic looking. I have tried to feed him but he is afraid of people...so now I am thinking of driving by which doesn't seem to bother him and drop food out of the car.
anyway so sad to see animals mistreated
Have a nice evening.

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    How horrible. Nightmare. I could not take it. I can't imagine how you deal with it. These people need put in jail!

Tomorrow will be better!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WOUBBIE 8/18/2014 1:45PM

    YOU are the one positive - trying to aid these poor creatures. You are the proof positive that not all humans are terrible beings who are beyond redemption.

R>Thanks for doing the job that most of us couldn't do.

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HONEYBEA 8/18/2014 1:05PM

    I'm so sorry you have to see this. I'm always shocked by people's cruelty, but not surprised.

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/18/2014 7:38AM

    It makes me feel sick just to read about this type of abuse, let alone to see it. Very sad.

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ILOVEMALI 8/18/2014 1:30AM

  You know that you are an angel on earth, don't you?

Yes, Bailey takes phenobarb and potassium bromide, and valium following seizures. The drugs make her back legs weak and she's drugged out for part of the day every day. She just turned 8, and she developed the seizure disorder shortly before she turned 3. She has good days and bad days (today's been bad -- 4 or 5 seizures so far). She hadn't had any seizures for abut 5 months (and the last time she had them, she had 7 in 24 hours). The clusters are rough on all of us. Vets don't really know what causes them. One vet suggested that we take her to a neurologist. When we asked if the treatment would be different if they had a more definitive diagnosis, the answer was "no," so we saved ourselves $6K. We get her blood tested periodically, changed her food to a high quality, no grain food, and limit grainy treats. She still has many more good days than bad days.

Animals and people alike are fortunate that passionate people like you advocate for our fur friends.

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_RAMONA 8/17/2014 11:54PM

    I'm so sorry you had such a lousy day... I cannot believe the things people will do.

Good on you for streaking on through it!

"Or maybe we need to look at it as having neither a beginning nor an end? So if there is no beginning or end, we just make every day count as if it is the first and the last." YES!!!

"What I haven't figured out how to do is to keep that deep and authentic calling in the forefront. In other words, on some days I feel this super strong desire...but then can go weeks feeling "blah"."

'Calling' is not a feeling, it's a conviction that burns no matter what you are feeling. My response to someone else today who said something similar to your comment above was this: "Motivation as a 'feeling' is highly overrated (as in "I feel motivated"). It isn't a feeling, but a mindset... a pre-determined attitude you employ when your feelings don't support your wants/needs. Mojo/motivation is a by-product, a result, not the impetus. I think in order for a streak to work and bear fruit, it has to be in response to a deep and authentic call in your life NOT AT ALL RELATED TO WEIGHT LOSS."

I pray for you a MUCH better day tomorrow!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}

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MCFITZ2 8/17/2014 10:50PM

    Some people should never be allowed to have a pet. If they do that to an animal what do they do to the people they come in contact with. emoticon

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HMBROWN1 8/17/2014 10:36PM

    That breaks my heart. God bless you for working with these poor, innocent creatures. I LOVE all animals. My last dog was a rescue. Someone threw the whole litter in a dumpster and 2 lived. We took him and were blessed with over 17 years before we had to put him down. I can't believe how cruel people can be to innocent animals.

I hope that you have a better week ahead.

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78 - Saturday off

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Today I was up at around 7 am, had my tea, showered and then cleaned until about 8:30 (dusting, sweeping, laundry). Had a nice rest of the morning with Zvika and then he went to work at around noon. He's working so hard and thank goodness the money is worth it and it keeps his mind off of his dad, but we're ready for this stage in our lives to be over and enjoy the benefits of a good job.

I got a bad headache around 1 pm and nursed it the rest of the day. It was pretty hot out, about 93, I think. I mostly stayed in and watched The Sopranos (on Season 2). I followed Paleo like a good girl, even though Zvika tried to talk me in to getting a pizza or having breakfast bagel sandwiches. No, way! I'm not surprised about the headache - I always start to get them for no good reason when TOM is on its way.

Here's to Day 2 of streaking on SP - the three accomplishments are not identical to yesterday. Generally, I want to interact with friends, interact in groups and interact with people I don't know...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 8/19/2014 8:29AM

    Moving right along, keep up the good work!

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MEXGAL1 8/17/2014 8:26PM

    Good streaking!
I love hooking up with trusted friends here.
Enjoy the rest of your evening

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    I had my cleaning frenzy on Friday as I wanted to have some time to rest this weekend.

I have headaches lately too and never have them. I don't know how people stand them.

I love the Sopranos. I wish I had their complete set.

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ILOVEMALI 8/17/2014 3:44PM

  I am now officially inspired to find 3 good things each day for a while. If I can force myself to think about the good stuff, maybe I'll be happier? Thanks!!

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WOUBBIE 8/17/2014 12:40PM

    Interesting. Apparently PMS migraine is linked to the sudden drop in estrogen levels. Didn't know that.

Good going on the streak! Just make sure to give yourself a Get Out Of Jail Free card for that day that you are just too wiped out to do it, lol!


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_RAMONA 8/17/2014 12:06PM

    Sounds like a nice day, overall!

Sorry about he headache... I do not miss those pre-period migraines. On the off chance that it has something to do with the paleo consistency, pay attention to your salt levels, Low carbers need to eat more salt.

Also, would you consider trying a completely harmless mineral supplement (damaged gut, low absorption levels can be the root of headaches of all kinds)?

My hormone specialist recommended this one at double the dosage on the bottle (I take 8 capsules a day)... within a week of starting this, ALL my headaches went away forever... three years ago:


I get it at Walmart... best price.

{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}

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BERKCHIK 8/17/2014 5:35AM

    love your accomplishments, especially interacting with folks you don't know. congrats on streak day 2 and another successful paleo day!


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SLIMMERJESSE 8/17/2014 12:17AM

    Headache from caffeine detox since you stopped drinking coffee? I'm still at half of a small mug.

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77 - making progress

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Yikes, life has been a bit nuts. Work has been insanely busy and I get home every night and CRASH...and ever since I gave up my morning coffee, I'm sleeping in instead of getting up to Spark!

So what's new -

I met my personal trainer and got my measurements taken...a lot of numbers in the 40's...ugh. She's very nice and I think we'll hit it off. It will be difficult to get her on board with Paleo, I think, but she has no choice! I have no intention of following the typical high-carb plan that most trainers recommend. I have a long way to go, that's for sure. I didn't let the measurements get me down, though. It is what it is and I'm making a change.

Work has been ok but I'm struggling again with feeling like I'm not doing a good enough job. Does anybody else do that? Why do I always go home feeling like I'm just mediocre? Anybody else have that problem? It isn't as though anything specific happens...I just always feel like a dummy. Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking Chinese, or something. Do I think I'm speaking English but I'm actually speaking Parseltongue?

I experimented a bit in the past 10 days - I allowed myself potatoes, which are ok on Paleo. I gained 4 pounds. Yay. I've been off of the potatoes for 2 days now and I'm back down 2 pounds. So I guess potatoes are off of my plan!

I went running again today, upped the speed and went for about 35 minutes at 4-4.5 mph. I was pretty happy with the run. My ankle didn't hurt and I didn't feel self-conscious. The gym is really empty most of the time.

I've been 99.9% sqeaky-clean Paleo for about 10 days now, which I'm very proud of.

I'd promised to start a streaking challenge with a Sparkfriend and puttered out pretty quickly. I'm almost 4 weeks behind, but here I go. I'm not going to make my streaks about exercising, logging, etc...but about Sparkpeople, because I am not doing a good job of balancing SP with life, and I need to learn how to do so.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 8/19/2014 8:27AM

    Sounds like your doing wonder! Minus your feelings at work. Analyze it on your runs. Ask yourself what is happening to bring up those feelings. I always got my best thinking done on runs.

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WOUBBIE 8/17/2014 12:11PM


Nothing much to add to Morticia's great comments. I particularly like: "you can't be an expert in every area."

I have been feeling less and less competent in my job over the past several years, and it's mostly an excess of multi-tasking (thanks to children and lack of support from DH) and being given more and more work duties, whether they dovetail with my current duties or not!

One thing I remind myself of is that the reason I got the extra duties is that I am so competent and always look for more "efficiencies", so the bosses say "Hey, Woubbie seems to have time on her hands, let's throw this crap her way!" Grrrrrrrr. Woubbie worked long and hard to carve out that breathing room!!!


It is to laugh!

Comment edited on: 8/17/2014 12:11:53 PM

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_RAMONA 8/17/2014 11:59AM

    Yay! You're STERAKINING!!!

You are NEVER behind... a streak is for YOU, not anybody else. The way I see it is that the first few days/weeks are the pre-streak period where you work the bugs out. You want to do it, you will do it, but there were a lot of little details you hadn't considered, so that when you start, you trip a whole bunch. THEN you start streaking. You're on our way!

...and you apparently have nightshade issue (sorry about the potatoes)... me, too... though it's not as strong as some of my other 'issues'... I'm reading a bunch about the whole 'resistant starch' thing... I'm going to try eating cooked and then cooled potatoes and see if I have different reaction.

Also, If you want that extra bit of starch (comfort?), sense of fullness, before we adopted SCD, we ate white rice (one of those 'ancestral nutrition' controversial foods)... it is largely a non-reactive food, and so considered 'safe' by many, just remember it has a high carb profile.

I'm excited for you with your trainer. Go YOU!!!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}

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    Good job on giving up the coffee. In my opinion, you need the sleep.

I have not measured in ages and am sure mine are terrible. I also would not do a high carb diet - been there, done that, and it almost killed me - literally. As you are a medical professional she should realize you know what you are doing. My doctor now doesn't question whether I know what I am doing as far as diet is concerned. He would actually like me to eat less carbs than I do. If he didn't like lower carb I would go elsewhere and he knows it.

The feeling you have at work will change over time. It goes away as you become more experienced. It's a good sign that you have it. It shows that you care and are dedicated to your profession. The best nurses I know had it. The worst nurses never did. I struggled a lot when I was a green R.N. I always thought that "such-and-such nurse" would have done a better job, saved the terminal patient. Thankfully one night when a young man blew a ventricle and died I ended up with tears streaming down my face and one of our best doctors sat me down and gave me a pep talk - the gist of it was that I was not God nor were the nurses I mistakenly thought could have saved this man. The patient was not going to make it no matter what nurse was there. He had a massive heart attack and he died of the complications. It had little to do with me and everything to do with him and risk factors. Another night a doctor came in and wanted to put in a CVP line. I had never done it and said, "Hold on. I'll go get a nurse." LOL. He grabbed my hand and laughed and said, "April, you are a nurse and a good one. I will teach you what you need to know." So don't sell yourself short. You are not expected to know everything. Don't be afraid to ask for help - for another opinion from a colleague. It makes you look smarter if anything. We all have our areas of excellence but you can't be an expert in every area. My weakness was peds. I didn't have any kids, no brothers and sisters growing up, and our clinicals in nursing school were weak. So I was the first to always refer people with questions about kinds to someone who did know.

Wow!! That is rather scary about the potatoes. I have one occasionally but not very often. A serving size of them is so small and they are easy to overeat. Most baked potatoes would be 2 or 3 servings.

You need to stick around. I miss you are gone. Reekie had a rough time again but we are working on it.

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PETUNIA102 8/16/2014 1:12PM

    Congrats on sticking to the Paleo diet and not wavering. I completely understand about feeling feeling like you are never doing enough at work. Let me know if you figure out a way to get around that! I hate that feeling. Keep up the great work!!

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/16/2014 10:29AM

    Achievers feel as though we can always do more, be more, give more, etc. You have to learn to be kinder and gentler with yourself or it'll drive you nuts. Accepting you are competent and do a good job, then letting it go when you know you've done the best you can, might take practice. But you are good, and deep down you know it. Now, all you have to do is own it.

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HONEYBEA 8/16/2014 9:07AM

    Good for you for sticking to your paleo guns. So many trainers & nutritionists have tunnel vision when it comes to meat and fat but our society has proven, with all the Alzheimer's & autoimmune health issues, that we need the fat & the nutrition in meat to stay healthy. Good job on the running!
p.s., thanks for stopping by. I've lost more inches than pounds and that's ok cuz I'm still getting smaller some how.

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BERKCHIK 8/16/2014 12:54AM

    10 days paleo sounds like a great streak--keep it up :-p ..and congrats on a good run, i'd be proud of those running stats (bc i don't run, but admire those who do)... emoticon

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