Sunday, October 07, 2012
well, i did it! complete before my 52nd birthday. happy dance.
my training plans were slightly derailed due to to the smoke, but i did it anyway. i decided to just go at a pace i thought i could sustain. i walked less than a mile of the course, which was much better than i thought i could do. there weren't too many hills...i walked some fo them, because it seemed like a good time to break, anyway. i hit the 8 mile mark and realized i was going to make it. the tears started, and didn't really go away entirely until after i was done for a while. at 11 miles i realized i still had enough strength and energy, but it hurt. running would get me to the finish sooner, so i kept running. at 12 miles, i let loose and pushed myself as hard as i could. i think the last mile was my fastest (i should have used my runtastic...oh well!). i came across the finish line crying...it won't make for the best photo-finish, but i did it. i placed 33 out of 43 in my age division...i'm content with that for my first ever half marathon! i can only go up, right?
at about 9 miles, one of the cheerers said to me, "even if you're the last runner, you'll still finish!" there were dozens of people behind me (ok, there were hundreds ahead of me, but that's not the point!!!!) i was not encouraged, but some day i'll be able to chuckle about it!
i slept 11 hours last night (which would be a personal record, excluding illness). i'm sure i'll be sore for a while, but it was worth it.
Monday, October 01, 2012
it's a new month. three quarters of 2012 is gone. time has flown by. i may not be where i'd hoped to be in terms of weight loss, but when i evaluate all that's gone on this year, i am content. would i be more content if the scale said what i planned? i'm going to guess i wouldn't. if i weighed 20 or 30 lbs less, i think i'd still be struggling with the same issues--am i good enough, thin enough, healthy enough? in all honesty, i don't think i could ever say "yes" to the first two, using my life-long measuring stick. i'm taking this time of stasis to find a NEW way to evaluate myself. that's kinda scarier than losing weight, but i know if i don't work on changing my internal dialogue that i'll lose a lot of the ground i've fought hard to gain. controlling what goes into my mouth is a lot easier than managing what goes on in my head.
this is a journey that i'll be walking for the rest of my life...it's worth it to go into it thoughtfully, carefully and with prayerful preparation.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
at last report, there were 95 fires burning in our county and the next. air quality prohibits running, yet again. i will persevere. so, indoor activity it is.
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