Saturday, July 07, 2012
i hit a milestone today...running an 11 minute mile. i was pretty excited with 12...what will i do when i hit 10?!?!?
my daughter and i have been working at this for a bit over 4 months. i remember one of the first days out, i was huffing and puffing along, and this lady standing on her porch, smoking, calls out, "that's why you're skinny and i'm not!" it made me laugh-- a LOT (i still consider myself a long ways from skinny, but i'll be content with healthy), and when you add laughing to huffing and puffing, it can cause a younger person fear. i had to reassure my daughter that i was just laughing. she's far surpassed me, and that's ok...she's 1/2 my age--it's as it should be. she'll pace with me when we run together, or run a block ahead and circle back, which means we can still run together, which is sweet. we even managed to twist my hubby's arm into doing a 5k with us, so we did our first family 5k on the 4th. it was lots of fun, and i hope the beginning of new adventures together. and i think my hubby may have some more appreciation for what we've been through in our training. =D
i still hesitate to call myself a "runner." i don't know what magical thing will happen to allow that designation, but i have enjoyed running.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
i'm 100 lbs lighter than i was 18 months ago, 64% of what i used to be. i've still got a ways to go, but i'm learning to live as a smaller, healthier person. when i was morbidly obese, it seemed like everyone was thin, but now as i look around, i realize i'm on the smaller end of the spectrum nowadays, and there are a lot more overweight people than i previously thought. the biggest lesson i've learned along this journey is that most of the battle is won or lost in my head, and as i win each "stinkin' thinkin'" round, it gets easier to live differently.
i allowed my obesity to keep me from being healthy and active, but i also punished myself in so many ways. i have decided that each day is a new start, and life is beautiful. i will do the things i enjoy, keep learning and growing, and see what happens. i may not hit that illusive number on the scale, but i won't let another number on that dratted contraption determine my worth or my success.
Friday, June 15, 2012
i had a couple of days of emotional/stress eating....worse than it's been since last summer. on the positive side, i didn't binge (except for m&ms, but they were peanut, so there's SOME nutritional value in 'em right?!?!?). i knew i'd get back on track when the stressors were gone. rather than eating more when life returned to normal, i went out and worked in the yard. moving dirt, big rocks, shoveling and carting and all. 4 or 5 hours later had a reasonable dinner, still felt stressed so i went out and worked about another hour. my spark people calculator said i burned over 1200 calories, which took care of all the m&ms, and more!!
that's progress for me on so many levels. i didn't give in to the "all or nothing perfectionism" insanity, i didn't eat chips or ice cream or other things my body doesn't need, i held on and knew i'd be back on track, instead of eating more, i went out and beat my emotions into submission while i worked hard. and, most importantly, when my legs and back said, "enough," i listened. in another time, those two days of losing control would have completely done me in, and i'd be on another weight-gain cycle.
i can lose a battle here or there, and still win the war. that is life change!
Monday, May 21, 2012
it feels like it took forever to hit the 100 lbs lost goal, but i finally made it last week. the 80s was the last decade my scale registered this low. i've still got a ways to go, but i have come far and learned much as i've changed how i deal with food, and how much i move my body. when i started this, i never could have imagined i'd be at a place where i would choose fruits and veggies over my old go-to snack foods, or that if i miss exercising for more than a few days, i start to get fidget-y. i haven't missed a day of drinking 8 cups of water in 294 days.
when i started walking in august, i could walk about 1/4 mile, very slooooowly. i've now completed three REAL 5ks (2 walking, 1 walking/jogging) and two virtual 5ks since october. i am actually thinking of doing a 10k, but it hasn't gone beyond the "maybe" stage. i'm also riding my bike regularly (almost 13 miles, yesterday).
i started this journey morbidly obese, in constant pain, feeling totally hopeless. i realized this would be a long-haul, life-changing journey. my hope was that i'd be at my goal weight in july. it won't happen, but i'm ok with that since this is about altering my life, not losing weight. i've taken baby steps, changing one or two things at a time, knowing i've got lots of time to make new, healthy habits. my mindset has been that if i couldn't stick with something for the rest of my life, i wouldn't alter my eating just to lose weight. it has been tested and tried, and occasionally i lose my footing, but my life is different forever.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
i'm currently working on "lifestyle change strategy #4: you can overcome setbacks." the assignment is to write about a single "trouble goal." so far, i'm doing alright on forging new habits in eating and exercise--66 lbs gone so far. i joined sparks after i'd dropped 30 lbs. over the last 4 months, i've learned so much that has helped me eat and behave healthfully. i am forging ahead. it was challenging to choose a goal for this, but the last one listed, "avoid using negative words that could discourage you," really hit me. negative thoughts have overwhelmed my life way too often. even though i've worked hard to change that, it is still a huge stumbling block in my life. with that in mind, my new goal is to say kind words to myself. it's a little challenging to measure success with this, but i'll approach it like i've faced my other goals--not perfectionistically, all-or-nothing, but am i breaking the bad habit of self-trash-talk? in all honesty, this is probably harder than limiting my calories and increasing my activity. accountability is a good thing. here's to another big life-change!
"let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, o Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
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