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Failure or Learning

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Each day is gift, what you do with it is up to you/me. Each day is a new day and it is up to me to make the right choice, if I make a bad choice I only hurt myself and must have to deal with the consequence. Is it FAILURE or am I LEARNING from my bad choices, I AM LEARNING, this is a work in progress. In order to believe in myself, I will fail, I will make bad choices but if I continue to make choices and not learn then I am failing me, I am letting myself down, so each time I get up and start over I love myself enough to TRY, each time it gets easier, there times where we get into an I DON' T GIVE A RATS BUTT ATTITUDE BUT IT IS MY CHOICE TO STAY THERE!!! So, I am choosing to pay attention and LEARN not FAIL!! I continue to strive, to try to give my all to me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUNDPLAN 2/24/2007 2:32PM

    You have such a beautiful spirit, Em! I love this post. You are an inspiration and it is an honor to know you. Be good to yourself!

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Day 1 Insulin Resitance Diet

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Insulin Resistance Diet Day 1 of how to turn off my body's fat making machine. I got this book called The Insulin Resitance Diet Book by Cheryl R. Hart, MD & Mary Kay Grossman, RD. It is excellent. I actually understand my body alot more and what I can do to get my IR in check. Basically for every good carb you have you have a protien to balance out the scale. 15gr = 1 carb 7 grams = 1 Protein, I have been enlighten. I will be reading labels so much more now and carefully. It is like a see saw you have to keep it balanced protein on the right, carbs on the left and veggies in the middle.

I feel good this morning, I got up at 5am and had my breakfast which consistant of a Weight Watchers Smart One English Muffin Sandwich and a yogurt smoothie I than proceeded to my new exercise DVD 10 Minute Solution Carb Blasting DVD. OMG, it was awesome, it has 5 routines in 10 minutes of cardio I did two for a total of 20 minute. One was kick boxing and the other were just regular moves, it was so much fun. I really liked it. I can do this every day. I have redone my diet plan and it calls for 1520-1870 calories a day and exercise 20 minutes/7 days a week. If I do this I should see a loss, of course making sure I balance all my meals out, which I preplanned my meals for the day yesterday. Lunch I am having homemade Chicken Veggie Noodle Soup, apple and yogurt. My morning snack was a small banana with 1TBSP of Chunky Peanut Butter and my afternoon will be String Cheese. For Dinner I am making Mustard Chicken Baked with onions and green peppers, Salad with lite dressing, broccoli and garlic Couscous. Dessert- Weight Watchers Keylime Cheesecake. My blood sugars came in at 81 this morning and will be interesting what I'll have this afternoon. I have already gotten 64 oz of water in and it is almost 11am. WOW that is good for me because I hate water. I also found out that diet pop causes havoc on the hormones as well for diabetics it confuses thus causing it to think it needs to store fat... So diet pops and artificial sweetners are out. They say the only way you can drink them is if you drink them while you eat your meal but not alone as water. Splenda doesn't fall into that category because it is made from sugar. FYI...

Yesterday at TOPS I knew I'd have a gain, which I am proud to say, I am down 3# this am, which I'm sure was water. As far as the program, Francis did a great job and passed out a questionairre really making me rethink of why I am doing this. My Health!!! I want a baby, I need to healthy as well. It is all connected and to make this a realty I have to continue on my weight loss!!! I have all the support in the world and if I pull them in on tough days I will succeed. The key is to believe in me, to love myself enough to make it through each and every day. I am ready to really commit myself, I slacked off the past few months and have gained and maintainted my gain, not getting it done. My new meds have been an adjustment but I know if I do this right I can and will succeed with the meds and the weight. Pushing myself to new heights.

Well, I may even do an extra 10 mintues this evening which is weights and resistance exercises with cardio in it. It seems pretty easy and I liked it. That was the most important challenge, it is almost like having jodi with me, the music isn't there but I can always use my MP3 but follow the moves on the DVD.

Have to get back to the grind!!! Ultrasound on Friday 12:45pm. with the RE. Hoping things are working!!!



Thursday, January 25, 2007

It was funny reading the reflections today. Friends are indeed important. I can confide anything and everything to my best friend Ana. I am closer to her than I am to any of my siblings. She is on judgemental, she listens without interruptions. I hear her when she gives me good advise. She is my tru blu friend. She is one of my supporters and helps me through and through!

I am grateful for the friend I have in Ana, she is family.


Frustration!! ARGH!!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Well, I'm at work and I have a coworker that moans and groans over any little noise anyone makes. I sit infront of her. I was talking to my coworker who sits in front of me and commented that I was working on my spreadsheet and listening to music with MY HEADPHONES. The gal who sits behind says: Can you turn it down, it's too loud. I said to her, how can that be when I am wearing headphones I can't even hear it when I walk away and put them down, she goes oh I thought I heard something.... Yeah the voices in her head.... ARGH!!!! Very frustrating!!!!!!

On a good note I got a few books so I can understand my body and the meds I'm taking, because I am having a harder time losing weight since I got on the metformin plus my sugar cravings at night are so high it isn't funny, especially when I'm trying to reduce my carb intake. One of the books is called the PCOS-Insulin Resistant diet and it outlines all of the information I'm seeking as far as how not to be counter productive inmy weight loss. The water gain was killing me this weekend. I seem to be panning out but ARGH, I didn't go to my TOPS meeting yesterday because I didn't want to show a gain. I am trying to show not have anymore red marks in my book. I really want to get down these pesky pouds that I gained over the summer. Well, here we go pushing forward. I feel I am doing well in my choices today, shifting from anything goes to a low carb diet is hard.

Work is calling so duty and the need for the almight buck is calling. I saw a show on how to flip house, my girlfriend and I are looking at starting up a biz and that looked pretty cool. As long as we made 60k profit off each flip we would both would live as we do now. We are seriously thinking of it, especially since I want to be able to be home with kiddo if it happens.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GWYNETHANNE 1/24/2007 6:58PM

  oy i hate annoying co-workers like how you mention below. i have had poeple like that to work with.

as to the meds--ytou have my sympathies. I can imageine it is frustrating.

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Healthy Relectcion--Who Stands in my way???? ME

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I must admit the times where I haven't succeeded is because I am my worst enemy. I am learning not to do the emotional eating but it is hard. I find that when anger hits me or frustration hits me, that is when I am the most dangerous to myself, I have to learn to write my feelings down vs. eating them.

So this year, I will learn to assert my feelings when others hurt my feelings, say what i feel not eat what I feel. I will also make sure to not let others actions interfer with me. I am a giver and sometimes me giving takes away from myself. So a little selfishness will not be bad as long as I am not abusing it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBRAGIRL2 1/18/2007 6:26PM

  Emmy you and I are a lot a like. I feel the same way about myself as you do about yourself. I too am my own worst enemy and when frustration hits thats's when I eat. I konw what to do--to find something else to do. I need to remind myself what to do.

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