Saturday, July 09, 2011
Okay so here i go, i just spend 2 hours completing a questionairre about my family history, family health, my health, my daily routine is being tracked hour by hour on what i do daily and then had to answer deep rooted family questions. Also, had to answer truthfully about my binge eating etc. if yesterday was draining this was harder becuase while they were about 7 questions they are like essay questions asking about my relationships with my father, mother, siblings etc, if there was abuse,etc the types of parents i had, divorces,etc. I've been to my childhood a few times within the past 24 hours. I have to tell ya it numbs you but then again my walls of food where how i hid from the fear, anxiety etc. I am ready to keep digging i do know i use food and the reason how it started. The key is that i have to reverse the reasons i do it because i am in safe place now and i am worth the work i'm doing for myself, i don't have to sabbotoge myself in order to protect myself so baby steps here we go.
I am planning my meals this week and will attempt to do more to stick with it. i've done it before i can do it again. I AM WORTH I AM A FIRECRACKER READY TO BURST! POP!
HERE GOES IGNITE IT!