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My map, my journey

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I have this map in my head that I am getting to. Destination A to Z I call it my journey because I know there are many roads and detours that may take place as I drive along. I find myself at times making choices that are like dead end streets because I don’t reach out for directions (support) –yeah yeah some people may relate as those husbands that know it all and never ask for directions!! That can be me I hate to admit but by admitting maybe I will solve my fears in my travels. I eat or drink my way to a dead end street sometimes going way to fast and out control causing wreckage to my car, then having to go to the collision shop for a rebuilt (attitude adjustment). I need to avoid those dead end streets because I end up nowhere which doesn’t really do me any good. So while on my happy travels I must remember to reach out for my map, handbook and friends. I will stop at their homes for some support and rest along my travels to stay focused. I will also make my regularly service stops for check ups aka weigh ins…
I lead a great Biggest Loser Team – Pinks and check in with them I actually have about 23 of them I can visit-two of them which I check in with frequently. When I am doing this I do great when I don’t I lose my directions, so my goal for the week is to stay on my route and not have any detours except to my friends places for support. Those are safe homes along my route. I will make the right choices to make it to each of my destinations.

A-Starting Point (Home) – 9/3/09
B-First Service Stop – 9/10/09 (lost 9.7)
C-Second Service Stop - 9/17/09 (lost 3)
D-Collision Shop needed an attitude adjustment - 9/21/09
E-Got Car out of the Shop & visited a great friend and will be back on the road 9/22/09. Car is running well today :)

My total destination will be about 148.5 miles i've driven about 10.7 miles so i have about 138 to go. Services Stops are on Thursdays!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBPOOKIE 7/27/2010 11:44AM

    I decided to check in on my journey and add a few more notes that i have learned. 1. it is a never ending road trip, i know this because once i make it to my destination i will have to continue on living a healthy lifestyle so there will be a lot of short little trips, the way i see it, it's like my RV is fueled up and ready to go on daily basis i can be visiting any city there will be hills pot holes and curves, it is how i manuvere around these obsitacals. 2. Tune ups are still and will always be neccessary, i checked in yesterday at my dr. office for AC1 testingfor my diabetes to see where I am at. I dropped 30# since he last saw me in January and boy was he excited, he is personally going to call me with my results. My physical therapy on my right tired (right ankle) is going well, no surgery will be needed but constant tuning of my ankle is needed, lots of exercises to stregnthen it will be required, it is helping i'm walking 1-2 miles 3 times a week and back to light hiking i even did walking/jogging for the first time on Saturday felt good. 3. Keeping my head out of collision mode the RV does not need a trip to the shop. 4. Continue to pull into rv stops and visit around the campfire with good friends!!!! 5. travel logs kept to help control those emotional outbursts and portion control.

Ready set go, move out of my sunny 34.9 pounds lighter and am not adding any more unwanted luggage to trailer!

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EBPOOKIE 12/7/2009 10:21AM

    My tuneup has been completed (more like the attitude adjustment i needed) Having this little one around has given me renewed energy... i have been eating a little more healthier items for breakfast (bigger portions) and lunch then light meals for dinners and no heaving snackings at night. Working on lightening the pepsi habit and succeeding started challenge at 310 and first weigh in lost 5.4 :) I am really pushing myself to get under 300 by Christmas!!! and keeping it off. Thanks for visiting my page I will have to be more deligent about writing!!!

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    I know you wrote this in September, but I still love how you look at this. It IS a Journey and we have to remember to refuel and tuneup.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I am at peace with the Universe
I love and accept myself.
I am unique and loving, loved, and free.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with my feelings.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I trust my inner being to lead me in the right path.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me, including myself.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I do not fear being unhealthy because I know that I control my own body.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
A always have enough money for all that I need.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love
The more honest I am with those around me, the more love is returned to me.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I am responsible for my own Spiritual Growth.
I have given myself permission to be at one with the Universe.
My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and ever-lasting.
I nurture my inner child, love her and have allowed her to heal.

I will read and remind myself of these daily!!
• I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.


Birthday gift to myself!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It was my birthday weekend and we went camping. I had a wonderful time and I hiked about 8 miles. I still ate what i wanted but i hiked my butt off. I went on a 4 mile hike which we accented approximately 2500 feet. We had 8 steep switch backs and 1/2 way there Byron asked me if I wanted to continue because it was kicking my butt and i have to tell you all this I'm gonna finish what i started and nothing is gonna get in my way attitude hit me. I did it but a friggin grandfather tree kept us from the final view point. I was extremely proud at how far i got. I felt I made a major accomplishment and fought my own demons and didn't quit. It really felt good to go that far and i wanted to go further I was ready for more. I will go back later this summer and do it again we were told that they should have the trail cleaned up next month.

I found a walking stick which Byron is personalizing for me and writing my hikes and miles on the stick. :) I hope to make it a century mile stick by the end of the summer. :) I know I can!!! I'm excited I lost 4.5 pounds. I am excited. It proved I can do this if i eat less and anything i want just less of it and exercise I will lose weight and i don't have to give anything up. I got up to 310# and now am taking it off. I am going to continue to push myself like I did this weekend. If I do that nothing can hold me back nothing but myself and I really like what I felt. I have been struggling but doing more then ever to fight for it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCI4TONY 5/29/2009 4:39PM

    Doesnt it feel good to FEEL GOOD?? Your post made me smile!!!

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RAINMUSIC 5/29/2009 3:01AM

    I'm so envious! I want to go hiking, but hubby's back is keeping him laid up.

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    emoticonGOOD FOR YOU! emoticon

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Getting it done

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I set some mini goals for myself a few weeks ago. I still struggle mostly on the weekends and when we go out to eat but I will face those challenges along my journey one challenge at a time.

I made a commitment to myself to drink at least 6-8 cups of water i do that now.

i have a journal that i write my daily meals on and my feelings in. Especially when i get emotional saved me a few times from eating emotionally.

Exercise 3 days a week i have done that and met my goal i have been hiking trails with Byron it has become a daily deal and I am proud some days i tread the burn it takes to get up this steep hill on the trail but when i get up and i'm breathless but look down at my accomplishment i feel good inside an instand hi. I am going to participate in the fall in a 5k walk maybe even the 10k just depends of how i'm doing along the way.

I had my aha moment when I went two weeks ago to inquriy at a seminar for weight loss surgery, first of all you still have to wrap your mind around the changes, exercising, it was what the dr. said, the weight loss surgeries will jump start you and get you moving in the right direction but ultimately you have to mentally prepare yourself to exercise and change your lifestyle and habits. I wanted to do the lapband because it was the least evasive out of the 3 options but i found out my insurance doens't even offer it. I was devasted but at that moment it woke me up and i know i can lose weight it takes hard work i have to get off the couch and exercise and cut my calories. I have to do this for myself. I remember watching the biggest loser this season and the finishing what i've started clings to my head. I want this and will do it. I am aware these changes take time, yes they get boring but I have to remind myself I AM WORTH the effort and time it takes to make me well.

So here I am never quitting always trying!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CUATROMOMMY 5/11/2009 9:02PM

    Good job on the goals.

Maybe with exercise you can try new things. I find I have to mix it up here & there before I burn out.

I'm proud of you for realizing that regardless of whether you did lap band or not you still have to work very hard at your goals. Sometimes it seems like these alternatives are an easy way out when in fact they are just as hard.

Hang in there.

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GRIZZLYBEAR3 5/11/2009 1:31AM

    Caveman Grizz say "Good Job!!"" Keep up the good work and keep on climbning. Grrrrr

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Emotional Eater am I

Friday, April 24, 2009

What a journey this is… this morning I found myself thinking about what went down last night. I had a horrible emotional eating night yesterday. I got frustrated and angry at a situation which at this time I have no control over and I let it get to me like no other. I am feeling fat, ugly, sad and just tired of the whole weight loss thing… anyway I find myself going to the local quickie mart and picked up beef sticks and soda pop and of course a bag of chips. I drink up my 20 oz Crush Grape Soda ate my beef stick and half of the Grab size bag of Chips. I feel worst now because of course I know I just screwed myself over but who cares I know go for a few slices of ham and finally talk myself out of doing anymore damage. So I am facing up to the fact that I have no self control when I am emotional. I binge eat, that will not let me lose weight no matter how hard I try. It is a rollercoaster ride I can’t get off of. I seem to be there more then ever the past few months actually since November. It is like I quit working on myself for some reason. I can’t pinpoint what happened for me to start on my downward time of self hate. So I decided today to research what I can do to get a grasp on my situation and in my searching I found this article and it hit home. Link: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Shuman1
.html Lots of cool other articles related to weight loss.
I understood everything it said and that is me in a nutshell, so now what. I start no obsessing over food. There is no bad food or good food it is the portions I eat more isn’t always good. Biggie Size is not an option on a plate. I am going back to just sticking with eating better not removing things I like—to make my brain feel deprived.
In my need to find out why I am so obsessed with losing weight, I realized why I eat emotionally; it has always been my safety net. Whenever I was lonely food was there for me, when I was scared, angry or frustrated I turned to food. My communications skills on emotions was not to talk about my feelings for the longest time I was told that When I was growing up my dad was obsolete as far as being there for me (parents divorced) my mom worked two jobs sometimes 3 so I was home alone a lot. I hate being alone, if I look back to October my mom left to go stay with my sis during the winter months and Byron was working swing shift so I was home alone. I just figured out what trigger this latest fall but now what she is back and I’m still there. Now I have the financial stresses and I feel like there is no control over it. We are getting by and it feels as though at times we have a noose wrapped around our necks. ARGH!!
So, I am going to focus on me not on food. I am going to do my best to eat the things I like but in moderation, cut back slowly on my huge portions until they are in check. More is not always better! I continue to drink my water and then work in doing fun stuff like walking and going and swimming at the gym in the pool, that I know I must do but I will start slow, I can’t jump into 7 days a week when I have only walked once this week. Duh forming good habits are harder then returning to the old which means I’m doing nothing to care for myself, so little by little I will add to me. Happiness is something one achieves for themselves because no one can make you feel happy you have to find that on your own. As Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” Oh how true this is. This applies to yourself as well, if you negative self talk and make your self feel inferior then you allowed it if you can do it and walk away and not feel the need them you have succeeded. So it is up to me to get over this hump and think in a new heart. No longer will I use food to make myself feel good I will use food to fuel my body as needed. Baby steps!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBPOOKIE 4/26/2009 6:00PM

    Thank you Lisa your post really meant a lot to me. I have had a hard time the past few months of loving myself and not being negative, I've never have experienced this and i guess that is why it's it's been so hard on me. I'm trying and doing what i can to get there. Thank you for being there and Cyndi thank you for posting on my blog as well.

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CUATROMOMMY 4/24/2009 8:47PM

    Em-I know you can do this. I have nothing but faith and hope for you.

It's so hard to relax about food when you feel like you can't relax in general. So, just take it in a manner which may be easier...perhaps one hour at a time. If you don't stay on plan one hour, then get back on the next.

Remember, we have to learn to crawl before we can walk.

Also...give more attention to your positive accomplishments. First of all, doing the research you did is an accomplishment. Blogging is another. You are still here (on SP)...that's another.

This will perhaps be the hardest thing for me to tell you. Change the way you feel about yourself. Believe in yourself. I'm sure you feel good about others & believe in them even when they are doing things you don't agree with. Give yourself that same love. You are worth every good feeling and every shred of faith & hope that you offer to anyone else.

You have pulled me out of some dark days & I am very grateful for you. Your being here is so impoartant & I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way. So, sit up straight & hold your head up high.


Believe...Do whatever it takes to believe your goals.

Trust...trust that you will give yourself the chances you need to accomplish your goals. You are growing...allow yourself the room to make mistakes and learn from them.

Love...love yourself and all the wonderful things around you.

Attract...start attracting your goals to yourself. Focus on the positive. Focus on that light at the end of the tunnel. Don't let anyone or anything take your focus away from the light. It is there and you can reach it if you slow down and concentrate and drown out all the negative energy.

Love ya Em!


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WOODLANDMYST 4/24/2009 3:57PM

  As someone who spent decades stuffing her feelings down with food, I can relate! But we only hurt ourselves, don't we... I've had a relapse myself, but I won't let it stop me. I WILL lose this weight! I know I can do it - and I know you can too. You've got the right attitude - it's all about baby steps and dusting yourself off when you fall. Thanks for the link - I needed that! Blessings, Cyndy

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