Thursday, January 27, 2011
My streak in my calorie range ended last night. I was reading an article that included OJ concentrate as another name for sugar. Plus with my calories going down I was in a bit of shock. I felt so upset about the OJ I did a little searching about it but have not found that there are any additives to the juice. But I did look on the carton and see that there is 24 g of sugar in the carton.
I guess the reason I was really bummed was because I thought I had gone this whole time with no sugars or with minimum whatever is in fresh produce to satisfying by sugar craving through sugar. Well I know I need not to drink Juice whether the sugar is added or not but I am really sad about the entire situation.
So, I did not know what I was going to do today. I stayed up late last night which greatly contributes to my binging and is a result of my anxiety or mood. But today I woke up on the edge but managed to log on to spark people and log everything I ate. I also managed to get exercise in. Well I have sweating in the spirit which is completing up lifting. I totally spent time with the Lord and sweat too. Well, I finished energized to move onto the strength training of the day and even a 10min ab work out. Praise the Lord he is so faithful. My mood has completely turned around.
I also found Sherlyn's blog which showed up on my feed. What a complete blessing. I know what I am going to do from this point I am going to do some more research and really dig in to this battle. I know the Lord can restore me but I know he wants me to go through this journey. I am ready and am thankful for him guiding my steps. I cannot wait to read that book SHeryln was talking about. Plus I think I should start journaling why I am eating so here comes another piece to the puzzle..
I must say that I have stole food, lied about food, binged, snuck and ate and the ultimate disgracing thing in my life eat food out of the garbage(years ago but none the less it was done). I am saying this because my eating addiction was affecting my son I was more worried about how much food I could get and not as worried about him. I have changed this and am improving every day. But, it was so bad he would scarf down his food because I am sure he was worried about getting more or getting enough. That is so sad but when a person is addicted they are selfish and only care about the addiction. I have manipulated situations to eat multiple meals like eat at home and then call my friend because she cooks knowing she would invite me over and then sticking around until food is served. I have had huge full born arguments with people eating food I had planned on eating. I can never change food without some build up and that is why the calorie change was so devastating.
I share this to say yes I am an addict I was always grateful drugs did not stick to me because I would be a mess. But, I am a mess because this addiction rules my life. I am claiming victory and stand in my authority given by Jesus Christ and claim his Holy Spirit to justify and restore me.... It will happen and nothing will control me but my body will be a slave to me....Amen...
The Link to the Sugar detox article. http://www.beachbody.com/product/newslette
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27