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After the binge

Thursday, July 12, 2012

After the binge, I've got a good week going. I'm a lb away from the big gain I had so I feel good about that. My BS has gone back down so health wise things are great. Today we are going swimming again so I can try to lose that last lb.

As easy as that binge was to come upon me, it was just as easy to get back into the swing of eating healthy again. Perhaps I've been doing this for so long that it has become a way of my life. I like knowing that part. I can remember the old me doing just everyday life with no formal exercise. I was great at multitasking so that I saved my steps. I remember eating one thing after another without really tasteing what I was eating, as long as I had something in my mouth, I was happy.
I also remember what I looked like back then. I kept the pictures to remind me so I wouldn't forget. I kept the pictures of me at my lowest weight too. Those are a harsh reminder. Somehow that weight is out of my reach but I'll never stop trying to get there and beyond.

The one thing that I am disappointed in is how the regained weight has been distributed. It all went to my stomach. The old me was proportioned with fat all over. This me right now has such a stomach that is so stubborn and hard to get rid of. Maybe it's age, it would have happened at some point in time but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

So I have to go put on my medium bathing suit, not the fat suit and not the thin suit but the suit I hope to grow out of very soon. Ya all have a great day!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CROWLEY123 7/12/2012 4:41PM

    It is great that you have "recovered" so easily, and so completely. But the best thing of all is that YOU DID IT! you did not quit, you did not get discouraged, you did not throw in the towel Way to go girl! emoticon

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AMYTRIPP 7/12/2012 3:32PM

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Good job getting right back on track!
Enjoy that swimming!

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CJJANISS 7/12/2012 1:36PM

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GNUNANGEL 7/12/2012 12:31PM

    It's good that it is easier for you to get back on track. I know how you feel. When I went back to school last semester, I was so busy I had no time for Sparks or exercise. Between the kids, the husband, homework, and keeping the house up I was overbooked. When I returned to Sparks it was like I never left. I was able to get right back on track and that felt good. Keep that positive attitude. You will get there, it just takes time. The older we are the harder it is to take off. Have fun swimming today. emoticon emoticon

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MYBULLDOGS 7/12/2012 12:11PM

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my sister walks 15,000 steps a day at 63 years old and has lost 100 pounds.

i gave up grain and sugary products and have lost 44 pounds at age 60.

we are both still loosing weight until we reach our goal

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Again!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Yesterday, I began the long uphill journey once again. Today, I am feeling much better health wise. We went swimming and I got in a lot of exercise without hurting myself. Tonight, I'm tired but its a good tired, I'm sure I'll sleep well. Best of all, I'm happy!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/13/2012 9:52PM

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WAYSOFGRACE 7/12/2012 11:41AM

    Happy is what it's all about!! Proud of you!

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LGAR519 7/12/2012 10:55AM

    Proud of you!

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AMYTRIPP 7/12/2012 6:15AM

    I love that good tired feeling. I hope you got some great sleep last night.

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GNUNANGEL 7/12/2012 1:56AM

    So glad your happy, and I hope you do sleep well.

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JAOTTO 7/11/2012 8:09PM

  Good job.

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CHEROKEE1946 7/11/2012 8:02PM

    Congrats for getting back on your journey. Glad you are happy. Water is great for exercising in.

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4 day binge, ;(

Tuesday, July 10, 2012



If you donít go after what you want, youíll never have it. If you donít ask, the answer is always no. If you donít step forward, youíre always in the same place.

SOURCE: Daily Reminder Quotes (DRQ)


I have been on a 4 day binge and am suffering now from it. It's pointless to ask why but I have to get a handle on this. Like an addict, I lost all control, couldn't stop and today I feel like I'm in the gutter. So all I can do is to pick myself up, plan my day and move on. Yes I am weak! Yes I am always starting over!! No, I will NEVER learn!!! My only answer to stress is to eat. I can talk till I'm blue in the face but nothing overcomes the comfort of food. I've been on this journey long enough to know the answers, the tricks and all that I'm supposed to do but when pushed to the wire, it's still the food that comforts me, talks to me and has such a hold over me.

Things go smooth for just so long and then everything breaks loose. So I keep fighting but deep down I feel like this is such a losing battle and not in the good losing sense. I can't wait till Oct when we leave here to go south for the winter. All my stress will be behind me then and happiness reigns.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYNEVALO 7/12/2012 2:00PM

    Boy, you and I are sure in the same boat. My binge has been much longer and I tell myself tomorrow is a new day and I'll do better but I never do. Something has to give and it has to immediately. Someday there will not be a "next day" so I have to get tough. I'm sending much love and prayers your way my friend.

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DEERLADY45 7/11/2012 6:50PM

    I know all to well the feeling food can give you when your stressed! Ive lost it before but the main thing is to get a hold of your selfcause you dont want to go back to unhealthy ways! I usually go by my self out to the woods and think about why i do this over and over! Food to some is like drugs! Youve got to figure out the why and then work on that! Blessings, BONNIE emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WAYSOFGRACE 7/10/2012 4:08PM

    " I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan

Like so many have said before me, it's not the falling down part that is difficult. It's the getting back up again that is hard. If it was easy, we wouldn't be living in a quick fix society and dealing with eating disorders and health problems.

I applaud you for consistently getting back up. So you binged for 4 days on stuff not so good for you. Did you realize you did? Did you stop? Are going going to move forward? Does berating yourself, or beating yourself up change anything or make you feel better? I can answer all those for you. Yes, you realized it, yes you stopped, yes you are moving forward, and no it doesn't.

Take my hand, dear friend, and I will help you up. This journey is a tricky one, but it's so much more interesting when you have friends, isn't it?

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AMYTRIPP 7/10/2012 2:27PM

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You'll get back on track. This isn't a failure, it's just a stumble along the road of success.

I ate WAY too much for three days over the weekend as well. *sigh*

But we can pick ourselves back up and get on track again.

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RADFAMX6 7/10/2012 12:46PM

    I so know how you feel. Eating is emotionally tied more than we think it is. There are times I eat the next cookie and the next even though it doesn't really taste that good and didn't satisfy. Somehow I know that it's because a) the treats aren't always that good, but b) we expect the satisfaction we get from it to make our problems go away.

I like what CASEYTALK said. Just remember the serenity prayer. When those emotions come crashing down on you, take 10 seconds to breathe deeply and ask yourself what you expect to get from whatever it is you're about to eat. Then ask yourself if there is anything else that could provide that for you. Step outside for 2 minutes for a breath of fresh air? Think about the things you can change, and seek for serenity regarding the things that you can't.

You CAN do this. Thank you for sharing your struggles with us. We all have bad moments, and by sticking together we can help each other reach our goals.

P.S. Just look at how far you've come already. :-)

Comment edited on: 7/10/2012 12:49:22 PM

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LGAR519 7/10/2012 11:17AM

    I'm so sorry. I want to get back on track too but it isn't happening right now. If you get a chance, read my last blog. You'll see what is happening in my life. You're a good friend and we can continue to pray for each other.

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SAINTBERNARD6 7/10/2012 10:52AM

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SUNNYODAYDFW 7/10/2012 10:25AM

    One of my favorite motivational quotes is from Confucius: "Our greatest glory in not in never falling but in rising every time we fall". It is only human nature to fall, but you have gotten up and you will get up again this time and get back on track. Try not to be so hard on yourself! You are worth it!!!!! emoticon

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CJJANISS 7/10/2012 10:24AM

    October is many months away...you can't wait that long...I too give in to my food cravings far too many times...it's like my life is ruled by food...I don't want to live that way any more...I want so much more out of life...I want to enjoy life and be able to fully participate in it. emoticon

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CASEYTALK 7/10/2012 10:16AM

    Grant me the strength to change the things I can. (You CAN change from binging to being back on track.)

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. (You CANNOT change that you have been binging for four days.)

And the wisdom to know the difference.

We've all been where you are. You're right -- if it were easy, we'd all be thin. Good for you for not giving up on yourself.

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BESCATS 7/10/2012 10:07AM

    Never give up. emoticon We all slip from time-to-time. It's hard to give up all the foods & goodies we love, and I don't think most people can do it - we all have our times of craving something.
I slipped alot last week while away, but now I know it's time to get back to it.
Just keep telling yourself "I can do it - for me". emoticon emoticon

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JESSICAMARIE12 7/10/2012 10:07AM

    I'm sorry you're having a hard time staying on track. I do the same thing. I will do so good for a few days, or weeks, and then I start saying - man CFA sounds soooo good, or I'll just have a few kettle cooked jalapeno chips. Before I know it, the whole bag of chips is gone, I've ordered enough food from CFA to feed my family, and I feel so guilty afterwards. I think that the best way to keep from binging is not so much to go cold turkey and quit all the bad stuff but to ease into it. Start by getting less food of what you already eat. Going for that candy bar cause you are stressed? Try breaking it in half, and then eating fruit? I know, I know easier said than done.
Dieting isn't easy, if it was, everyone would be skinny and healthy. Like I said, try little things. If cutting back doesn't help, try notes. Write encouraging notes to our self, and place them on the candy bar, the bag of chips, in your car, wherever you feel like you are falling short, and maybe the next time you reach for the candy bar, you won't take it. :)

I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and that eventually this gets easier for you. You CAN do this!!! :)

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A long day

Thursday, July 05, 2012

I had another light bulb moment yesterday. I realized that my day is just too long for the amount of food that I can eat. I was up at 7 AM and by afternoon, I had eaten everything I was allowed and the hungry monster was attacking. It being a holiday, usually we have the traditional BBQ fare but this time I changed the menu. They were predicting thunder storms through out the day so instead of cooking outside, I decided to enjoy myself too and put in a crock pot dinner of country style pork ribs and lots of veggies and beans. I started this soon after I had gotten up and the rest of the day was ours with nothing to do. Our company called last minute that they couldn't make it so it was just me and my husband.

Breakfast was early because we got up early and by noon the house had the beautiful aroma wafting from the crock pot. So naturally we ate. Now here it was 1 PM and most of the calories were already consumed. At 3 PM after a very good movie on TV, we needed something and that's when everything broke loose. I think between the boredom, no company and emotional eating that we just couldn't get thru the day. Then my husband said something that really hit home. To us, it just isn't a holiday without the traditional foods. All our lives were centered around this. How we missed the BBQ, those carb ridden salads and the rich desserts. Now it has been drummed into us that most foods are bad and portions are supposed to be so small that a meal is done in 15 mins. When you are retired and together 24/7, there isn't a lot of new things to talk about so meal time is usually the same "This is good" and then it's over. I'm not complaining, just stating how it is.

We ended up playing some computer games, watching more TV and finally night came. I think the heat and humitiy had a lot to do with our energy too. However it was a very long day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 7/6/2012 10:06PM

    Oh--shucks about your company. And you had a great meal all prepared!

I was supposed to go to a woman's fellowship at a friend's church tonight. It is once a month. I enjoy it when I go. I have only gotten there twice--when a friend actually picked me up and took me there.

I have every excuse in the book. Lately, I really have not been feeling good. And the evening meeting is tough because DH needs me to put him in bed around 8:00 pm or so. The meeting starts at 7:00 pm. Last month I told him to tilt his motorized wheelchair back and sleep in it till I got home. He did that. This time asking him to do that --well I didn't. I have been sleeping--a lot! today I slept from 2:00 pm--woke up and turned over and slept till 6:00 pm! I could have made the 7:00 pm meeting. But it just seemed too hard.

Sorry your day got messed up! Long days like that can surely be trying!

Eh... hope tomorrow is much better ! Chris emoticon

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SLIMLILA 7/5/2012 5:59PM

    I thought it was just me... I am not really retired, but am 59 and can't find a job... so maybe I am retired and just don't know it yet. I've been prepping food ahead of time this week and it's been really working for me...veggies, salads and meat..

So the change from usual routine, disappointment of friends not coming, sounds like a sure path to emotional eating for me too.

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AMYTRIPP 7/5/2012 1:34PM

    That is a tough one. I think some days are just going to go like that (especially holidays). I know how much harder days at home are for me to keep within calorie range than days at work are.

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KWWILSON 7/5/2012 11:34AM

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CASTIRONLADY 7/5/2012 11:23AM

    Sometimes I feel that way too. I am retired but thank God my husband still works. We get up at 5:30 and because of Sparkpeople I am trying to get 8 and get in bed at 9:00. It's a struggle. Good job accessing your day. Keep up the good work.
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What to do?

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Well, I'm still itching from Saturdays fireworks but life goes on. I hope to get to the pool today if my hubby feels better. It's such a beautiful day that I hate to waste it. If I can't go to the pool, I'm going to find something so I don't waste today!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYTRIPP 7/3/2012 11:46AM

    Good for yoyu!! I hope you have a marvelous day!

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CROWLEY123 7/3/2012 10:45AM

    Well I hope you and your hubby are up and moving before the end of this lovely day! Make the most of it, whatever you do! Keep burning those sparks!

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FLORIDAJOE1 7/3/2012 10:20AM

    That's the spirit! Keep moving! It's a great thing when you start to crave activity.

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