Friday, July 13, 2012
I recovered from my binge and am now back to where I began last Thursday.
Does it feel good - yes and no. Yes because I'm back on track and no because
what a waste of a week. I really want to start making some headway. I've set
small goals, I know what to do so now it's just a matter of DOING IT!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Yesterday, I began the long uphill journey once again. Today, I am feeling much better health wise. We went swimming and I got in a lot of exercise without hurting myself. Tonight, I'm tired but its a good tired, I'm sure I'll sleep well. Best of all, I'm happy!!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
If you donít go after what you want, youíll never have it. If you donít ask, the answer is always no. If you donít step forward, youíre always in the same place.
SOURCE: Daily Reminder Quotes (DRQ)
I have been on a 4 day binge and am suffering now from it. It's pointless to ask why but I have to get a handle on this. Like an addict, I lost all control, couldn't stop and today I feel like I'm in the gutter. So all I can do is to pick myself up, plan my day and move on. Yes I am weak! Yes I am always starting over!! No, I will NEVER learn!!! My only answer to stress is to eat. I can talk till I'm blue in the face but nothing overcomes the comfort of food. I've been on this journey long enough to know the answers, the tricks and all that I'm supposed to do but when pushed to the wire, it's still the food that comforts me, talks to me and has such a hold over me.
Things go smooth for just so long and then everything breaks loose. So I keep fighting but deep down I feel like this is such a losing battle and not in the good losing sense. I can't wait till Oct when we leave here to go south for the winter. All my stress will be behind me then and happiness reigns.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
I had another light bulb moment yesterday. I realized that my day is just too long for the amount of food that I can eat. I was up at 7 AM and by afternoon, I had eaten everything I was allowed and the hungry monster was attacking. It being a holiday, usually we have the traditional BBQ fare but this time I changed the menu. They were predicting thunder storms through out the day so instead of cooking outside, I decided to enjoy myself too and put in a crock pot dinner of country style pork ribs and lots of veggies and beans. I started this soon after I had gotten up and the rest of the day was ours with nothing to do. Our company called last minute that they couldn't make it so it was just me and my husband.
Breakfast was early because we got up early and by noon the house had the beautiful aroma wafting from the crock pot. So naturally we ate. Now here it was 1 PM and most of the calories were already consumed. At 3 PM after a very good movie on TV, we needed something and that's when everything broke loose. I think between the boredom, no company and emotional eating that we just couldn't get thru the day. Then my husband said something that really hit home. To us, it just isn't a holiday without the traditional foods. All our lives were centered around this. How we missed the BBQ, those carb ridden salads and the rich desserts. Now it has been drummed into us that most foods are bad and portions are supposed to be so small that a meal is done in 15 mins. When you are retired and together 24/7, there isn't a lot of new things to talk about so meal time is usually the same "This is good" and then it's over. I'm not complaining, just stating how it is.
We ended up playing some computer games, watching more TV and finally night came. I think the heat and humitiy had a lot to do with our energy too. However it was a very long day.
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