Friday, December 16, 2011
A weird thing happened today. I am actually craving some good healthy food! Yesterday, I had a McDonalds/Sonic day and I made myself sick again. Why do I do this? Am I a sucker for punishment - yes. Will I do it again - yes. I never learn. When that feeling comes over me, there is no stopping me or talking me out of it. I don't know what the magic is of that food that calls me so strongly. Why it goes down so easily. And why does it need to be followed by sweets. So I went swimming yesterday, if I was going to eat, I was going to exercise too. However no amount of moving and sweating could compensate for what I ate.
Here I am today, back to eating the good stuff as in healthy stuff. Dear Lord, help me make it thru this day.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Yesterday I talked about not using artifical sweetners anymore. I didn't realize how difficult this was going to be. It was easy to stop putting it in my coffee as that was something I added but I didn't know all the foods that had them in them that I buy. Yes, I knew no more diet sodas but I didn't drink those much anyway as I prefer water. Yes, I knew I added Splenda to my biscotti because I added it myself. However, my cole slaw has splenda in it instead of sugar, and so much of the other items I use have splenda in them like the maple syrup I use for my pancakes and to add to my sweet potatoes. So right now I am doing my best to cut down on the sweetners and trying to teach my taste buds that I don't need this anymore. I'm still enjoying my coffee and I'm sure I'll still enjoy the other things too. Now if I really want something, I'll have the real thing, just less of it or just do without. No more maple syrup on the sweet potatoes and I found I like them anyway, who knew!!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Yesterday, I made a great dinner and we enjoyed it but we didn't stop there like we should have done. We overate, made ourselves sick AGAIN. Last night was awful and we were up most of the night. First off, everything was salty so we drank more and that meant bathroom trips and then more drinking. I was a mess getting up for good at 5AM. So today is back to normal but with one exception. I read on FB all about artifical sweetner and decided to try not to use it anymore. There are a few things that I want to finish before I totally go off it, like my biscottis that I just made with Splenda. This morning, I had coffee with no added sugar or sweetner at all. Yes, I put the flavored creamer in it but I usually add the pink pkg too. No more. I can see it's going to be tough getting used to but I really think I can do this. If not, at least I can cut down a lot. We'll see how it goes.
My husband wants to take a "diet break" from Dec 21, our Christmas party, to Jan 2nd and then start again. It would not change our meals but would add different snacks without guilt esp at night. So the more I thought about it, I do not rule what he does but for me, I think if I am careful, I can enjoy this and then pick up again after the new year. Sometimes, I think I am too strict and it is no good for me. Like my husband, I've been craving some things that I had put on my no no list. This will be a learning experience as to how much I already know, how I have changed and where I go from here.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I'm having a rough day today. My aunt's funeral is tomorrow and I think it is affecting me in ways I can't seem to cope with, nor understand. I know how much she was suffering and there was no hope so it was for the best and as her daughter put it, now she is a saint among the angels. I think it was such a shock as it was so sudden and only a few days passed after hearing the news she was sick.
Since my emotions were shot I was looking for a pick me up this morning when I went on the Wii for exercise and decided to weigh myself. Well, I gained 2 lbs!!!! Those stubborn lbs not only are back but back with a vengeance! To spite myself, I didn't even do the exercises. I'm hungry, stark raving hungry too. I had breakfast but I could have had another one. Right now I'm trying to keep my fingers busy on the computer and not eat. I pulled chicken breasts out of the freezer and decided to make a great dinner with roasted veggies too. At least I have something good and special that I am looking forward to eating. Frustrations are setting in and my battle is up in the air. I just don't have a lot of fight left in me. In the grand scheme of life, what difference will it make if I eat today? Ok, so my head isn't on straight and it hurts to think. Perhaps a good cry is in order? If it would only come so I can feel better and get on with life, :(
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