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Weird day today

Friday, December 16, 2011

A weird thing happened today. I am actually craving some good healthy food! Yesterday, I had a McDonalds/Sonic day and I made myself sick again. Why do I do this? Am I a sucker for punishment - yes. Will I do it again - yes. I never learn. When that feeling comes over me, there is no stopping me or talking me out of it. I don't know what the magic is of that food that calls me so strongly. Why it goes down so easily. And why does it need to be followed by sweets. So I went swimming yesterday, if I was going to eat, I was going to exercise too. However no amount of moving and sweating could compensate for what I ate.

Here I am today, back to eating the good stuff as in healthy stuff. Dear Lord, help me make it thru this day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LGAR519 12/16/2011 12:17PM

    I know how you feel. I pray the same prayer!

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DEELIN1960 12/16/2011 12:06PM

    You can do it! I know you can! Forget the past and start fresh today!

Hugs my Sparkfriend,

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Tired of all this

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I am having a lot of trouble with wanting a binge. Not just a one meal thing or a one day thing but an extended until the first of the year kind. Will power is not helping at this point. Neither is pick out one thing and all that moderation stuff isn't helping. I feel myself weakening and I have slowly been gaining weight everyday without changing my eating or binging YET! Ok so it's a weight crisis thing! I reconize it and am fighting it but with the holidays coming I know I won't make it through without a big weight gain. There is no maintainance for me. My body doesn't allow it. Either I stick strict and stay the same or lose ounces or I go off and really gain bunches. The thing is I don't know how long I can keep up this strict thing. I don't even want the junk foods, I just want food and lots of it. I want that full feeling again. Never in my life has something been so hard for me. I touched one derland barely for 2 months and then it was gone again and I can't get it back no matter how hard I try. I'm so tired of all this, bone wearly tired! But I'm a survivor and life will go on. I'll fall but I won't ever give up!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEELIN1960 12/16/2011 11:15AM

    I wish I had some magical words of wisdom to share, but I don't. The stress you have gone through makes it difficult to stay strong. I get that, I'm the same way, I've got to be on strictly or nothing. But you are in control.... maybe have one good hardy meal and then get back on again. You don't need to be perfect.

I wish you all the best, I know you will overcome this trying time. Hugs! Dena

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ECOCHRISTIAN 12/14/2011 6:39PM

    I can sure identify. Moderation for me is a slippery slope back to gaining weight. I'm a carb addict. I just started back on a very low carb diet (no sugar (only Truvia for sweetening), no grains, no potatoes). I'm eating lots of meat, poultry, fish, eggs and tons of veggies and salad. That is what works for me. It gives me more energy and less depression and I have no cravings. I barely get hungry because my blood sugar isn't dropping drastically from putting out excess insulin in response to eating carbs. I don't know if this will work for you; everyone has to find their own way to eat that works for them. From experience I know that I will eventually be able to tolerate one serving of grain a day. More than that will get me in trouble. This is not what Spark People and most dieticians recommend but there are some sources that do advocate this sort of diet. A low fat, high carb diet is turning me into a depressed, fat, diabetic. I don't know if this would work for you but it is something to consider. Good Luck!

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JUSTJUSTY 12/14/2011 5:49PM

    I could have written this blog myself. All I want is food. I've been binging galore. My doctor just did a complete blood work up on me and found I am lacking in some vitamins. I do take a multi-vitamin so I was surprised. Perhaps you should get a work up done too? Still hang in there. Pressuring yourself only makes it harder. I'm here for ya! emoticon

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LGAR519 12/14/2011 5:34PM

    I wish I could say something to encourage you. I have been back where I started for 2 months now. I knew I wouldn't be able to lose during this time. Too many goodies. So the best I could do was start over from scratch after Christmas. Our metabolism must be at extreme opposites. I have pretty much been maintaining as long as I still walk.

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CTUPTON 12/14/2011 1:15PM

    One der Land! Boy does that sound good. The only way my weight has gone down is two steps down and one step up then maybe do it all over again and finally it stays down at a lower number. Please don't get discouraged!

Email me and I will chat you out of it! chris emoticon

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Artifical sweetners

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Yesterday I talked about not using artifical sweetners anymore. I didn't realize how difficult this was going to be. It was easy to stop putting it in my coffee as that was something I added but I didn't know all the foods that had them in them that I buy. Yes, I knew no more diet sodas but I didn't drink those much anyway as I prefer water. Yes, I knew I added Splenda to my biscotti because I added it myself. However, my cole slaw has splenda in it instead of sugar, and so much of the other items I use have splenda in them like the maple syrup I use for my pancakes and to add to my sweet potatoes. So right now I am doing my best to cut down on the sweetners and trying to teach my taste buds that I don't need this anymore. I'm still enjoying my coffee and I'm sure I'll still enjoy the other things too. Now if I really want something, I'll have the real thing, just less of it or just do without. No more maple syrup on the sweet potatoes and I found I like them anyway, who knew!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 12/14/2011 1:10AM

    it is amazing how many foods are loaded with artificial additives instead of people just eating proper portions of the right foods. a package of multivitamins i bought have artificial colors in them.

i will admit that i am tryng to find natural sweet foods. for instance a lot of salad dressings are loaded with sugar or artificial sweeteners. i started adding fruit like orange sections or berries. otherwise i am trying to to get my taste buds interested in other foods.

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LGAR519 12/13/2011 2:42PM

    It is proving to be a problem for me too. Does everything in the world have Splenda in it?!!? Seems like it.

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PATTYCAKE17 12/13/2011 10:21AM

    Honey is good and it's healthy!
FYI: The Splenda brown sugar is a half and half mixture you can use as a compromise for baking. It's very sweet so adjust the volume!! emoticon You're trying to find a new path and that's not always easy at first. I use Splenda but won't touch aspartame or Msg so had to give up quite a few brands and products because of that alone. I'm on a long term journey into health, so I do what I can, as I am able. God bless you in your efforts. Something is better than nothing, and you grow as you go.

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1CRAZYDOG 12/13/2011 10:08AM

    Have you considered stevia? You cannot bake with that, but it's good in coffe, tea, etc. if you need sweetening.

Agave syrup . . . low glycemic index sweetener and an excellent sub for syrup! It is also very good in baked goods. You need to read the label how to adjust it as a sweetener. I use 1/2 the amt. of agave then I would sugar, as a general rule. Pretty good. Then again, I don't sweeten too much myself, but this works and doesn't make the blood sugar spike up then crash & burn.

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Artifical sweetner

Monday, December 12, 2011

Yesterday, I made a great dinner and we enjoyed it but we didn't stop there like we should have done. We overate, made ourselves sick AGAIN. Last night was awful and we were up most of the night. First off, everything was salty so we drank more and that meant bathroom trips and then more drinking. I was a mess getting up for good at 5AM. So today is back to normal but with one exception. I read on FB all about artifical sweetner and decided to try not to use it anymore. There are a few things that I want to finish before I totally go off it, like my biscottis that I just made with Splenda. This morning, I had coffee with no added sugar or sweetner at all. Yes, I put the flavored creamer in it but I usually add the pink pkg too. No more. I can see it's going to be tough getting used to but I really think I can do this. If not, at least I can cut down a lot. We'll see how it goes.

My husband wants to take a "diet break" from Dec 21, our Christmas party, to Jan 2nd and then start again. It would not change our meals but would add different snacks without guilt esp at night. So the more I thought about it, I do not rule what he does but for me, I think if I am careful, I can enjoy this and then pick up again after the new year. Sometimes, I think I am too strict and it is no good for me. Like my husband, I've been craving some things that I had put on my no no list. This will be a learning experience as to how much I already know, how I have changed and where I go from here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LGAR519 12/12/2011 3:11PM

    I read the same article. I have had mouth sores since this Summer. I noticed that when I cut back on the Splenda they get better. So I have decided to go without sweetener. I can see if my mouth gets better. I plan to cut myself some slack until after Christmas. I've been off my plan since Thanksgiving. So far I have only gainned 1/2 a pound. Which is a miracle considering the stuff my Hubby brings into the house.

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Rough day

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I'm having a rough day today. My aunt's funeral is tomorrow and I think it is affecting me in ways I can't seem to cope with, nor understand. I know how much she was suffering and there was no hope so it was for the best and as her daughter put it, now she is a saint among the angels. I think it was such a shock as it was so sudden and only a few days passed after hearing the news she was sick.

Since my emotions were shot I was looking for a pick me up this morning when I went on the Wii for exercise and decided to weigh myself. Well, I gained 2 lbs!!!! Those stubborn lbs not only are back but back with a vengeance! To spite myself, I didn't even do the exercises. I'm hungry, stark raving hungry too. I had breakfast but I could have had another one. Right now I'm trying to keep my fingers busy on the computer and not eat. I pulled chicken breasts out of the freezer and decided to make a great dinner with roasted veggies too. At least I have something good and special that I am looking forward to eating. Frustrations are setting in and my battle is up in the air. I just don't have a lot of fight left in me. In the grand scheme of life, what difference will it make if I eat today? Ok, so my head isn't on straight and it hurts to think. Perhaps a good cry is in order? If it would only come so I can feel better and get on with life, :(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 12/12/2011 1:39PM

    I hope words from sparkfriends will comfort you a little. It is no replacement for a person we love, of course. We can listen and send wishes . I hope that helps you a bit.
Blessings and hugs. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Chris emoticon

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DSBRIDE 12/12/2011 5:31AM

    Thank you all so much. I can't begin to tell you how much your kind words have helped me. I didn't do so great yesterday afternoon and into the night but today is a new day and I'm ok and ready to get back on track. All your support has meant the world to me.

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WAYSOFGRACE 12/11/2011 9:19PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort, and that you know you can count of your friends here for support during this difficult time.

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KARENDEE4 12/11/2011 7:24PM

Sorry about your Aunt!

I think you are doing great. You can survive this. I know emotions make me hungry sometimes too. My body is used to dealing with emotions with food.

Some exercise might make you feel better. I was upset one day not long ago and I did my best day of exercise ever. I think the exercise helped me work outmy anger and frustration that day.

Take care

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LGAR519 12/11/2011 7:05PM

    It is always so hard to cope with any death. But especially one that happens before we can comprehend the situation! My best friend died unexpectedly and 2 years later I am still fighting off depression over it. I really don't think I'll ever get over it. Could be part of my over eating problem! Wish I could help you!

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DEELIN1960 12/11/2011 6:32PM

    I'm so sorry about your Aunt. Everyone deals with death differently & in time the hurt will ease. I will keep you in my prayers.

Don't beat yourself up for being hungry. Try to get back on track one meal at a time. You are doing so great, 2 lbs. is but a mere stumbling block. Get a good nights rest and get up tomorrow and start over; one meal, one day, one pound at a time.

Your Spark Friend,

emoticon emoticon

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SWEESIN 12/11/2011 11:12AM

    DS, I am so glad that my blog helped you. Loss is a big thing and the death of a loved one effects everyone differently. I learned on losing my son that it is unnecessary to sweat the small stuff. I want to keep healthy because I have a wonderful husband and although no other children that I am still here for a reason. There will never be the sound of grandchildren at Christmas but I will share this love with memories of him and in his name bless others in my community with gifts at this time of year. I will go to churches in the community and find families in their congregations to bless. I was a health nurse for years for children with special needs. I will call my friends there for special needs for families and bless them. God has a way of showing us where He needs us to work. He is showing me. I do not give to big organizations pleading for money except the Salvation Army, again due to working with organizations over the years, most of their money goes ... who knows where. Ask the Lord to guide you on days of stress and I will ask Him to bless you with strength and wisdom to fight these battles the devil sets up so you will fail.

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