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DSBRIDE's Recent Blog Entries

BACK VS FEET

Friday, June 17, 2011

YES, I HAVE HAD BACK AND FEET PROBLEMS AND FOR THE MOST PART THEY HAVE SETTLED DOWN. I HAD 2 BACK SURGERIES AND THEY WORKED OUT REASONABLY WELL MAKING LIFE LIVABLE AND LEAVING ME WITH ONLY A DEAD NERVE DOWN ONE LEG. THIS NERVE/NUMBNESS SOMETIMES THROBS IN BAD WEATHER OR IF I EXERCISE A LOT. THEN I HAD PLANTAR FACIATISIS (PF) ON THE SAME SIDE. SO THE FOOT MD MADE ME THOSE EXPENSIVE INSERTS WHICH I WORE FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND THEN STOPPED. EVERYTHING WAS WORKING OUT OK UNTIL I STARTED FEELING A TWINGE IN THAT FOOT AGAIN. I WAS AFRAID OF THE PF COMING BACK SO I STARTED WEARING THE INSERTS AGAIN. WELL NOW THE INSERTS AFFECT THE BAD LEG AND MAKE IT THROB SO BAD AT NIGHT THAT I CAN'T SLEEP. GOOD LORD, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING. DO I WEAR THE INSERTS OR NOT? I THINK I'LL STOP THE INSERTS TILL THINGS GET WORSE. ALL I KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT I WON'T STOP EXERCISING.

  


SUNNY DAY

Thursday, June 16, 2011

SUNNY DAY HERE AND FEELING GREAT. EXERCISE IN, JOURNALS FILLED OUT, LUNCH COOKING. I'M ON A ROLL TODAY. WE WENT TO A T-BALL GAME YESTERDAY FOR MY GREAT NEPHEW WHO IS ONLY 4. I NEVER SAW ANYTHING SO CUTE, WE LAUGHED A LOT AND HAD A GREAT TIME. THEY ONLY PLAY 2 INNINGS AND IT TAKES JUST OVER AN HOUR BUT IT'S NON STOP FUN. YESTERDAY'S MAIL BROUGHT AN INVITATION TO A CAMPFIRE PARTY ON JULY 9TH FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY OF NIECES 2 CHILDREN. LOOKS LIKE LOTS OF FUN. GLAD I'M NOT A FAN OF SMORES AS I'M SURE THEY'LL BE PRESENT. BUSY, BUSY SUMMER. SHOPPING FOR JUST MILK AND BREAD TODAY- LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE I END UP COMING HOME WITH.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLPHINFAN1334 6/16/2011 11:46AM

    KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!! emoticon

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PERFECTION

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


YESTERDAY'S POST STARTED ME THINKING ABOUT PERFECTION. AMY ADDED STEAM TO THAT FIRE BY GIVING ME MORE TO THINK ABOUT. FIRST OFF, I DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION IN ANYONE ELSE, JUST IN MYSELF. WHEN MY HUSBAND DOES THE DISHES, HOWEVER THEY COME OUT, I HAVE LEARNED TO LET IT GO, NOT SAY ANYTHING AND NOT DO THEM OVER. ONLY IF THEY ARE REAL, REAL BAD DO I NICELY MENTION IT AND THEN WHATEVER HE DOES, I ACCEPT. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HARD THIS WAS FOR ME TO DO. WHEN HE HELPS ME FOLD THE CLOTHES, I DO NOT REFOLD THEM TO FIT IN THE CABINET OR SHAKE OUT THE WRINKLES, I JUST JAM THEM IN AND LET IT GO. I HAD TO LEARN ALL THIS IN THE LAST 5 YEARS SINCE HE RETIRED. BEFORE I DIDN'T HAVE THE HELP SO IT WAS EITHER DO IT MYSELF OR ACCEPT THE HELP AND HOW IT IS, IT IS. JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MY WAY OF DOING IT, HONED OVER THE LAST 40 YEARS, DOESN'T MEAN IT IS RIGHT OR THE ONLY WAY OF DOING THINGS.

SO THIS LEADS TO THE PERFECTION I REQUIRE OF MYSELF. WHY, A LOT OF WHAT AMY'S LETTER SAID IS TRUE. I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR APPROVAL BUT, AND THIS IS A BIG BUT, I AM BOMBARDED BY SIGNALS THAT REQUIRE THIS. MY DOCTOR IS THE NUMBER ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE THAT IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE FROM ME. I HAVE TO FIT IN THAT COOKIE CUTTER MOLD SO MY NUMBERS ARE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME UNLESS I AM PERFECT, THOSE NUMBERS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SHOULD BE. EVEN WHEN WATCHING TV, THE COMMERCIALS, THE NEWS, EVEN DIFFERENT SHOWS, ALL SHOWER ME WITH WARNINGS THAT I BETTER WATCH OUT, BE CAREFUL, DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN. THEN THERE IS THE CONSTANT PRESSURE FROM OTHER PEOPLE, EXTENDED FAMILY AND EVEN STRANGERS. WHICH GETS ME THINKING THAT THEY ALL CAN'T BE WRONG AND IT IS I INSTEAD WHO ARE AT FAULT FOR MY SITUATION OF BEING OVERWEIGHT. THE ONLY WAY I CAN CORRECT THIS IS TO BE PERFECT. IF I AM NOT, I GAIN WEIGHT IN A HEARTBEAT. AND SO IT'S A VICIOUS CIRCLE. AND THE 'PARASITE' INSIDE ME CAN'T BE GIVEN UP OR LET LOOSE BECAUSE THEN WHERE WILL I BE? THERE IS A LOT MORE TO THIS AND I HAVE NO ANSWERS. TOO MUCH THINKING IS MAKING MY BRAIN OVERWORK. WILL THAT BURN MORE CALORIES?

  


TUESDAY

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


OK, SO ONE DAY UNDER MY BELT THAT WAS A PERFECT DAY. STARTING DAY 2 NOW. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BE PERFECT? AM I LOOKING FOR APPROVAL OR TRYING TO PROVE TO MYSELF I CAN DO IT? STILL FIGURING OUT SOME OF THIS STUFF BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, JUST LIVING.....

  


Monday

Monday, June 13, 2011

TODAY IS MONDAY AND TIME FOR A NEW BEGINNING. THANK GOD FOR NEW CHANCES AND NEW BEGINNINGS. I HAD A WEEKEND FULL OF GOOD DAYS AND THEN NOT SO GOOD NIGHTS. THINKING BACK, I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO BED EARLY INSTEAD BUT I DIDN'T. AM ALMOST AT THE TOP OF MY RANGE SO IT'S TIME TO GET IT BACK DOWN BEFORE FATHER'S DAY COMES UP AS MY DAUGHTER IS COOKING A BREAKFAST FOR HER DAD AND THEN OVER TO MY MOM'S FOR A PICNIC. I JUST KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE A NOT TOO GOOD DAY SO I HAVE TO PREPARE FOR IT NOW. WHY DO I KEEP TAKING THIS ROLLAR COASTER RIDE? WHERE IS ALL MY RESOLVE, WHY AM I SO WEAK LATELY? IT'S THE FOOD ADDICT IN ME COMING OUT AGAIN. THE STRESS IS BUILDING, SURGERY IS NEXT WEEK AND I'M SCARED. WELL THAT SENTANCE SAYS IT ALL. I KNOW THEY HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG AND THAT I SHOULDN'T WORRY AS THESE VERY RARELY HAPPEN BUT AT NIGHT, ALL MY REASON GOES OUT THE WINDOW. I HOPE THE DAYS FLY BY AND I CAN HURRY UP AND GET THIS OVER WITH.

  


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