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DSBRIDE's Recent Blog Entries

TUESDAY

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


OK, SO ONE DAY UNDER MY BELT THAT WAS A PERFECT DAY. STARTING DAY 2 NOW. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BE PERFECT? AM I LOOKING FOR APPROVAL OR TRYING TO PROVE TO MYSELF I CAN DO IT? STILL FIGURING OUT SOME OF THIS STUFF BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, JUST LIVING.....

  


Monday

Monday, June 13, 2011

TODAY IS MONDAY AND TIME FOR A NEW BEGINNING. THANK GOD FOR NEW CHANCES AND NEW BEGINNINGS. I HAD A WEEKEND FULL OF GOOD DAYS AND THEN NOT SO GOOD NIGHTS. THINKING BACK, I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO BED EARLY INSTEAD BUT I DIDN'T. AM ALMOST AT THE TOP OF MY RANGE SO IT'S TIME TO GET IT BACK DOWN BEFORE FATHER'S DAY COMES UP AS MY DAUGHTER IS COOKING A BREAKFAST FOR HER DAD AND THEN OVER TO MY MOM'S FOR A PICNIC. I JUST KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE A NOT TOO GOOD DAY SO I HAVE TO PREPARE FOR IT NOW. WHY DO I KEEP TAKING THIS ROLLAR COASTER RIDE? WHERE IS ALL MY RESOLVE, WHY AM I SO WEAK LATELY? IT'S THE FOOD ADDICT IN ME COMING OUT AGAIN. THE STRESS IS BUILDING, SURGERY IS NEXT WEEK AND I'M SCARED. WELL THAT SENTANCE SAYS IT ALL. I KNOW THEY HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG AND THAT I SHOULDN'T WORRY AS THESE VERY RARELY HAPPEN BUT AT NIGHT, ALL MY REASON GOES OUT THE WINDOW. I HOPE THE DAYS FLY BY AND I CAN HURRY UP AND GET THIS OVER WITH.

  


Light bulb moment

Sunday, June 12, 2011


SO I HAD A LIGHT BULB MOMENT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THAT IT TOOK SO LONG TO SEE THIS. THERE IS A PATTERN GOING ON HERE THAT I JUST NOTICED. I DO VERY WELL FOR JUST SO LONG. LOSING OZS EVERY DAY WHILE BEING VERY CAREFUL. THEN WHEN I GET TO THE BOTTOM OF MY RANGE, I GET THESE CRAVINGS AND THINGS THAT GO OFF IN MY HEAD WHERE I WANT CERTAIN FOODS AND CAN'T PUT THEM OUT OF MY HEAD. I FIGHT FOR AWHILE BUT USUALLY END UP GIVING IN. THAT PUTS ME BACK AT THE TOP OF MY RANGE AND I START ALL OVER AGAIN. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE I CAME HOME. THIS WHOLE DEAL HAS KEPT ME IN A CERTAIN RANGE NOT REALLY GAINING ANYMORE BUT NOT LOSING ANYMORE EITHER. THIS IS THE KIND OF LIVING THAT IS OK FOR MAINTAINCE BUT DO I WANT IT NOW?

RIGHT NOW THIS IS ALL I CAN HANDLE AND IF I GO THE SUMMER LIKE THIS, I'M OK WITH IT. HOWEVER I DO NOT FEEL LIKE I'M DONE AND WHEN I GO SOUTH AGAIN WHERE I HAVE POOL ACCESS AND LOTS MORE EXERCISE OPPORTUNITIES PLUS NO STRESS, I THINK LOSING WILL BE ON THE TABLE AGAIN. I JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO STAY WITHIN THIS RANGE. I CAN DO THIS.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICHAELEWELLS 6/12/2011 3:47PM

    Hey at least you know now what you are doing. That is a major step. You can do it!

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MADYANKEE 6/12/2011 3:10PM

    Yes you can do it, sometimes we just have to take a sort of break, not a real walk away, but not quite there either. When it helps you, go for it. Besides, you are still on track, not gaining, eating healthy etc. good for you!

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RONNIE0404 6/12/2011 1:46PM

    You're right. You can do this! Just keep working on it and NEVER, EVER give up!

emoticon emoticon

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GRADUATION DAY

Thursday, June 09, 2011



IT IS COMING UP ON ONE YEAR AND 5 MONTHS THAT I HAVE STARTED THIS JOURNEY. IT'S BEEN MORE THAN I EXPECTED, MORE WORK, MORE LEARNING, AND MORE DETERMINATION THAN I EVER GAVE TO ANYTHING IN MY WHOLE LIFE. I REMEMBER THE DAY I WOKE UP AND SAID "NO MORE". WE WERE DOWN SOUTH IN WHAT I CALL A 'NO PARENTS ALLOWED' SITUATION. NO ONE TO WATCH WHAT WE DID AND WE ATE. WE ATE EVERYTHING AND IN MASS QUANITIES. WE WENT FROM ONE THING TO ANOTHER. WE MADE OURSELVES SICK. QUITE SICK. I WAS IN A REBELLIOUS STAGE. NO ONE WAS GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. NO ONE WAS GOING TO SAY YOU SHOULDN'T EAT THAT. NO ONE WAS WATCHING ME HERE.

THEN I WOKE UP THAT MORNING AND SAID 'NO MORE'. IT WAS TIME TO TAKE CONTROL. I WAS SICK. ALL KINDS OF SICK, INSIDE AND OUT. AND I PRAYED FOR GOD'S HELP TO GET ME OUT OF THIS. THEN I PRAYED FOR GOD'S HELP TO HELP ME GET MYSELF OUT OF THIS. THAT WAS THE DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED. I HAD A CHALLENGE IN FRONT OF ME AND I HAD A NEW DETERMINATION THAT I NEVER HAD BEFORE. OH SURE, I HAD BEEN ON DIETS BUT THEY WERE ALWAYS THE ANSWER TO PRESSURE FROM OTHER PEOPLE. I NEVER WANTED TO DO IT FOR ME. I LOVED FOOD, IT COMFORTED ME, IT WAS ALWAYS THERE AND NO ONE APPRECIATED IT LIKE I DID. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I DIDN'T NEED IT ANYMORE LIKE I DID. WHY AND WHY NOW? FOR ONE THING, I WAS READY NOW. I WENT THE FIRST WEEK AND A HALF ALONE WITH NO SUPPORT AND THEN I FOUND ICHANGE. MY FRIENDS ON ICHANGE HELPED ME GET THRU ALL THE ROUGH SPOTS. SURE I KNEW HOW TO COUNT CALORIES AND EXERCISE BUT IT WAS THE SUPPORT THAT I NEVER HAD BEFORE. MY HUSBAND PUT UP WITH COUNTLESS DIETS AND JUST LET ME GO. COMPLEMENTING WHEN I DID GOOD AND BINGEING WHEN I WANTED TO GO OFF. IT DIDN'T MATTER TO HIM, HE ALWAYS LOVED ME HOWEVER I WAS.

AS THE MONTHS WENT ON, I NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE INCLUDING HIM. I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO AND ADAPTED TO MY NEW PLAN. I DIDN'T THROW ANYTHING OUT, HE WAS ENTITLED TO HIS FOOD. I BOUGHT NEW FOODS THAT FIT IN WITH MY PLAN AND I ATE MY WAY, HE ATE THE OLD WAY. I RELIED ON MY FRIENDS TO GET ME THRU, TO LISTEN TO ME COMPLAIN, TO PERK ME UP WHEN I WAS DOWN. SLOWLY AS THE WEIGHT CAME OFF, THERE WAS A BIG DIFFERENCE. MY HUSBAND SAW A CHANGE AND CAME ALONG ON THIS RIDE. LAST SUMMER WAS AN AWFUL TIME. SEEING EXTENDED FAMILY FOR DIFFERENT SOCIAL OCCASIONS WAS AWFUL BUT A BIG LEARNING EXPERIENCE. GOING THAT WINTER DOWN SOUTH HELPED TO REINFORCE MY RESOLVE. I HIT LOTS OF PLATEAUS AND DIDN'T LOSE LIKE I DID IN THE BEGINNING BUT IT TOO WAS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. I CREATED NEW HABITS THAT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT NOW. PLUS IT MAKES IT EASIER TO LIVE AND I DON'T EVER WANT TO GO BACK.

I AM WHERE I AM. I WISH I COULD LOSE MORE BUT I KNOW THAT I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN. IF IT COMES, SO BE IT BUT IF IT DOESN'T, WELL HERE I AM. EVERYTHING SITUATION IS A NEW CHALLENGE AND I HAVE IT IN ME TO FACE THEM ALL NOW. I HAVE CONQUORED GOING OUT TO EAT TOO. I WENT OUT, SAID I GAINED 3 LBS, BUT THOUGHT IT WAS WATER AND IT SURE MUST HAVE BEEN AS I AM BACK WHERE I WAS BEFORE. SO I CAN GO OUT, ENJOY MYSELF, LIVE MY LIFE AND IT'S OK. I'VE SETTLED INTO THIS NEW LIFESTYLE AND I LOVE IT. I FEEL GOOD, I LOOK DECENT, MY HEALTH IS GREAT AND I AM HAPPY. I HOPED WHEN I STARTED THAT I WOULD FINISH THIS JOURNEY IN A YEAR. THEN I SAID IT MIGHT TAKE ME 2 YEARS. WELL, THIS IS NOT A JOURNEY ANYMORE. THIS IS MY LIFESTYLE NOW. IT'S GRADUATION DAY AND I MADE IT SUMA CUM LAUDE!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLPHINFAN1334 6/9/2011 11:51AM

    CONGRATULATIONS AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!! emoticon

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Salt

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

After yesterdays adventure out to eat, today I am 3 lbs heavier but tomorrow will really tell as I don't know how much of this is truly water weight. The salt that was in the food really got to me. I ended up drinking 12 glasses of water that I counted (could have been more) and my stomach was bursting so I had to stop but my mouth was still thirsty. Today, thinks are back to normal thank goodness for a good system. I don't know why resturants feel the need to add so much, especially since people now a days are watching their calories and salt. Is it time for the government to step in and try to get this to a reasonable level? You can always add the salt but after it's in their, you can't take it away.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HELEN_BRU 6/8/2011 11:04AM

    I have the same problems with salt and try to steer clear of it. I find it's the prepared food the restaurants use that are the worst, as in their sauces, etc.

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