Monday, May 17, 2010
So, these are my before and after photos from the first round of Biggest Loser Contest with my dragonboat team, plus the before from the second round. We didn't take afters this time, so I need to get DH to take one ASAP before more things change. I think it's really powerful to have a visual record of how hard I've been working and how far I've come. Maybe the changes aren't super apparent, but they feel like it to me.
Before/After BLC#1 Sept 2009 - Dec 2009
Before BLC#2 Feb 2010
I'll post my "After BLC#2" as soon as I get it taken.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I did a dance of joy this morning after I got on the scale - I achieved my first major miletsone goal! 155 lbs - this is down from 169 lbs on 2/6/10. That is almost 15 pounds in three months :D
I can't even express how excited I am about this and how good I'm feeling. I went out for a friend's birthday party last night and wore clothes that I would have been embarrassed and self-conscious in not that long ago. I even showed a little of my midrift!
So, to celebrate my achievement, and as part of my goal reward list, I went to the Portland Saturday Market today and got a henna tattoo of a bird on my wrist. I was reading in the design booklet the artist had set out that birds have symbolized many things in many cultures over time, but especially freedom, wisdom, peace, hope, transcendence and many other things. I am so drawn to bird imagery and so it was fitting that I decided to get a bird as my design.
I am excited to continue forward with my journey. It's getting easier and easier, especially as I test myself in new situations, like eating out. I went to lunch both yesterday and today and was able to make delicious, satisfyingly healthy choices. And I didn't feel strange or out of place with my friends, which is something I've worried about in the past. No one cared - surprise surprise!
So, after last week's frustrating blog post, let me say, I -am- doing the work and it's paying off!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
So, in looking on how the week is going so far, I'm noticing a trend...
I'm working out a lot. Like 90 minutes a day a lot. And it feels good, don't get me wrong. I love to sweat and feel like I'm working hard.
But, I'm also eating a lot more. And that isn't making me feel so good.
Especially getting on the scale in the morning and not seeing any progress.
I've identified in the past few days that there seems to be one food each day that just pushes me over. Its not the same every day, so it's not something that I can just stop buying or putting myself into contact with easily.
What it really is is sugar. Sugar in chocolate, sugar in cookies, sugar in any form really is pushing me over my goals. Which really sucks, because I love all of those sugary treats and I'm afraid of feeling super-deprived and unhappy if I give them up and really commit to it.
I'm wondering if that's what it's going to take though.
That, and maybe backing down on the amount of exercise I'm doing so I can back down on the eating. I feel like I'm so close, and yet so far away, from my big goal of 140. I can see the light at the end and I have so many things I want to do when I get there. I guess that's part of it, right? I have to enjoy what I'm experiencing right now and stop waiting for some magic moment to happen, right?
So, positives from today:
-The instructor at Jazzercise said (to the rest of the class in the middle of class) that I had done a better job on the last routine than she did and that I should think about getting up on stage to teach.
-Got some appreciative looks and definite friendly attitude from waiter at restaurant for lunch.
-Walked purposefully today in the beautiful sunshine b/c of SparkTeam challenge and really enjoyed it.
-Realized that ~another~ pair of my pants are too big for me.
So maybe I am on a plateau - in my mind. My body doesn't have to catch up to that if I get my mind back on my goals.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
*begin whining transmission*
So, I feel like I've worked really hard this week on my eating, on my exercise and just in general on supporting healthy habits.
I've gained weight all week.
Maybe it's not a lot and it will come back off once my period starts next week (sorry if that's TMI), but it's still discouraging, especially when I'm getting notices that I've "exceeded my calories burned goal by a large margin this week." The last few times I've done that, I've LOST big time.
*sigh* I've been trying other healthy ways of dealing with my frustration - talking to supportive family members, stretching more, petting my dogs and have only spent, oh, 15 to 20 minutes fantasizing about getting a regular sized Oreo Cookie Shake from Jack in the Box (only 815 calories and 39 g of fat if you were wondering! Or wait, how about a medium original Chocolate Frosty from Wendys? Only 410 calories and 10g fat. Or how about a Jamocha shake from Arby's? 610 calories and 35 or so grams of fat. Can you tell I was thinking about ice cream yesterday? that was all from memory and typed within about a minute. super sad - but check my food tracker - I don't even know the last time I had any of those).
I'm really hoping that this is just water weight and that it will come off once my hormones shift back. What else could it be? My calorie targets for the week have all been met, I didn't go over on sodium, and god knows I've done enough exercise for the week.
That's why today I decided to just go for it and eat what I wanted to eat and stop obsessing. Funny thing - I stopped way short of my calories because I felt so full (and earlier in the day) and actually ended up not eating enough because of my "no eating after 8:30pm goal."
It's coming, I know it's coming, and I just need to stop obsessing about the how and when and just keep doing the work.
I've already made so much progress - I can't turn back now.
*end whining transmission*
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I've had a pretty stressful few days and my eating definitely shows it. Especially my after dinner snacking - apparently I am a cookie monster.
I completely recognize this as emotional eating to up my "feel good" hormones, as right now my stress hormones are sky high. I've tried to add some extra exercise to balance my eating, and today I actually did really well with my after dinner treat by paying close attention to measuring out my milk and cookies and putting them in attractive, small serving dishes, fooling my eyes to make me feel fuller with a smaller portion. I also made sure to savor every bite and slow down so I would really enjoy each part of my cookie.
I still want to go eat the rest of the cookies that are left, but I'm going to go brush my teeth and go to bed instead. I know the sleep will be much more helpful in decreasing my stress than eating. It's hard to overcome that ingrained behavior of running to the kitchen when I'm not feeling so good emotionally, but I'm getting there.
Bonus - I'm learning to love salad without dressing. I made a delicious spinach salad yesterday topped with dried blueberries, raw cashews and sliced pears. All three toppings, which were in small portions, had so much flavor on their own that adding any dressing would have overpowered them and tasted gross. :) I would have never guessed that I would go sans dressing on a restaurant salad either, but I did today and it was awesome, as I just combined it with some of the filling from my sandwich. No extra calories, lots of flavor and great salad - what could be better?!
Double bonus from today - a friend I haven't seen in a few weeks commented
that I'm looking "really skinny" when I saw her at lunch!
Just gotta keep doing the work!
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