Wednesday, January 27, 2010
You may or may not know that I have been struggling with the recent diagnosis of cancer in my mother. The colon cancer has spread to her liver and bones and she will begin radiation on a lesion on her neck vertabra to relieve pressure being put on her spinal cord so that she won't be paralyzed. Up to this point in her life, she has been remarkably healthy. If you can believe this, I have never even heard her complain of a headache and has only recently started taking blood pressure medicine. At 86, she looks 15 years younger and could put both palms on the floor standing up. The Dr. said that all has probably happened in the last six months. Of course, it has devastated our whole family. We knew this life experience of a life ending would happen, but it's true....We are never ready! We spent all of the last two weeks gathering information and getting MRI's, bone scans, etc. Trying to help my parents decide what avenue....where to begin, has been difficult at best. Then her radiologist/oncologist said that it was a "no-brainer". We have to begin with this lesion on her vertabrae. She is feeling tired, but not in much pain presently, but we have a hard time because when asked, she says, "I can't believe it! I'm fine!" My father can't hear well and my mother is becoming confused on some days. We thought she was having dementia, but this could all be related to what's happening in her head, since she also has a skull leasion. All this news is very grim, but she is starting radiation tomorrow for 12-14 treatments. I am on an emotional rollercoaster, taking them to every appointment, (sometimes three procedures in one day). I believe that "the impulses of energy and information that create our life experiences are reflected in our attitudes toward life. And our attitudes are an outcome of and expressions of self-engendered impulses of energy and information."Joy, sorrow, success, failure,....all these events seem to "happen" to us, but how we choose to react to them is up to us. Whatever time my mother has, I choose to do the best I can....to serve and honor her and her wishes....I will try to bring joy to the rest of her life and do what I can to prevent her suffering. Finding a balance in my profound grief...trying to make the other people in my life happy when I can...is my present goal. I am praying for strength to be able to take this life experience and make something positive of something so profoundly sad in my life.
I want to thank my very personal friends on Sparkpeople, in this public forum, for touching my life during this time....standing by my side...and helping me cope when I was initially told all this horrible news by all the Dr.s taking care of my mom. Thank you....from my heart! If you don't hear from me, please know that I am thinking of you...missing you....I will be taking my mother and dad to her appointments, holding her hand, laughing and joking when we can and enjoying every minute we can together. They are my treasures.....my wealth.
XXXOOO Your sparkly friend, MaryAnn
PS I will try to post the blog about Art's honor...They named our town high school gym after him last week. I will try to get pictures up soon. I love you, sparkies!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Do you think we each have a purpose in life???? Perhaps our purpose is to search and find out what our purpose is....THAT IS our purpose. Once we know what that is, what do we do with that information? The knowledge of our purpose leads to our potentiality, right? I do think that our purpose doesn't have to be what society calls "important" and by that I mean; measured by the amount of money you make or stature you attain in life, but the person you really are INSIDE. The potential for being a good friend, father, mother, son, brother, husband, wife.....etc.; for having grace, knowing yourself and your full potential to love another human being .....That may not be your full potential, but I think....IT'S A DARN GOOD START! Therefore, when you ask yourself the question that we inevitably do....."Why are we here?" try to relax and know that perhaps just the shear joy of living your best life by fulfilling your potential as a good human being, may just be enough. At least, at this stage of my life, IT IS. I AM....at peace with this knowledge. Have a glorious weekend, my Sparkies...Love & kisses, MaryAnn
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Just dropped by to share a little love and the pictures of my beautiful AMARYLLIS that my son and girlfriend brought us for Christmas. We have enjoyed watching it grow so much....I have waited and waited for it to expose it's vibrant color....it's beauty. When they brought it Christmas Eve, it was just poking out of the dirt. Now.....IT'S STUNNING! Out of the dirt came this gorgeous thing.
by Samuel E Stone
In utter amazement there I stood,
just watching a small plant grow,
yes, I too, wondered why I would,
there I was caught in nature’s flow.
So little of the world we really know,
a plant bending ever slow to the light,
caught up in society’s busy stir we go,
too often missing the wondrous sights.
Living creatures large and even small,
breathing, growing, just for us to see,
from a blade of grass to trees ever tall,
being just what they are intended to be.
Sadly, with our eyes open, we’re so blind,
we’re all possessed by the power and greed,
too often worried about what’s yours or mine,
never experiencing the beauty of a single weed.
So many precious gifts nature has bestowed,
filling all the spaces of earth where we live,
each just waiting for us to discover and behold,
and all we have to do, is find a little time to give.
NATURES STUNNING BEAUTY NEVER CEASES TO MAKE MY HEART SOAR!!!! HAVE A HAPPY DAY, MY SPARKLERS!!!!!! I love you.....MaryAnn
ADDED FOR MY FRIEND PISTL67 per request & w/love....
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night. ~Marion Howard
I LOVE THIS! Isn't it true? Don't you know people like this who are generally upbeat, uncomplaining and finding the good in people and situations.....who make the best of situations that are uncomfortable? I like to think I'm like this....usually. I have my "quirky" days, but I like to think that I'm an eternal optimist.
I will try to continue to leave "heart prints" whereever I go in 2010! Love and peace to Sparkpeople and especially my dear Sparkies I've gotten so attached to this year!!!!!! Thanks for all your support and for helping me keep the bounce in my step and smile on my face!
XXOO Mary Ann.....
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Here it is....almost to the end of 2009!
"Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle."
My own personal resolution is not to make them.....or break them....To live my life to the fullest and try to get it right!
Here's to another year....A beautiful year of peace and good health to my good Sparkfriends who keep trying, no matter what....for my friends and family who love me unconditionally! XXXOOO I love you! MaryAnn
Cooking up a new year of promise and hope.......
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