DRELEA23   5,371
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DRELEA23's Recent Blog Entries

Talking myself back into it....

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Well, I'm seriously annoyed with myself! And for me that's dangerous waters because being angry with myself is usually just the first step in the downward spiral that I've experienced WAY too often before! I get excited about my new lifestyle and then I mess up and then I get mad and then I eat which makes me even more mad and its just a continuous vicious cycle until the next time I decide I'm going to get healthy (I've been on this weight loss/gain road more times than I can even begin to count!). So, I'm here to tell myself it is OKAY to have a bad couple of days and I can STILL do this!!!! The most important thing is this is a new day and I have control over this moment, right? I am trying to put aside all the negative thoughts I've had the last few days and just tap into how I really, really want to live my life (healthy!). I'm human...I make mistakes... BUT I can pick myself back up and move on too. I know I have the strength, I just need to keep believing in myself and drawing on all the amazing support here on Spark!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALRAD59 4/20/2009 8:19PM

    Well I am a week late in spotting this blog, but just wanted to let you know that you are human and allowed to have set backs, BUT the important thing is that you are aware of that and I am VERY proud of you!! The past IS the past and you only need to focus on the future and the HEALTHY person you are becoming! PLEASE LEAN ON ME and all of your Spark friends when you are struggling.....we are ALL here for you!!
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STACEYX5 4/14/2009 1:30PM

    Good for you. You realized how you are feeling and having some great self talk!
You are 100% right about all of it. Today IS a new day and you get to make today a better day because you do want to be healthy and fit and not beat yourself up anymore!
We are/and will continue to do this together!
You rock!!!!

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BEL_RIOSE 4/14/2009 12:03PM

    You are EXACTLY right! Every one slips up, but that doesn't mean you have to feel bad about yourself. You can do it!

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CARBNUT 4/14/2009 11:57AM

    the past few days are just that, "in the past". Only look forward and start today with your clean eating, excercise and a healthy out look on life. you CAN do it!

Lonnie

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I need to get off my butt!!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I'm so frustrated with my making excuses to myself lately!! It's like every day I tell myself that I WILL get my exercise in today and then its the end of the day and lo and behold I haven't done a thing. I swear I've come up with every excuse in the book, but to my own mind they're not 'excuses', they are perfectly legit 'reasons'. YEAH RIGHT!! What is my deal???? And then the more I don't do the exercise, the more mad I get at myself and it just spirals into negativity and it makes me want to EAT. Sheesh. So I guess I'm just going to keep reading motivational spark articles and blogs and maybe stop beating myself up (although it is hard) and just push through this. I have to just realize this is just a bump in my road.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDRAXIA 4/7/2009 3:21PM

    I'm experiencing the same thing right now. One thing to think though that while reading articles and motivation pieces on Spark, I am still just sitting on my behind gaining weight. I love this place, and have gotten so lost in it that i have planned to go to the gym, packed my bag and sat down and spent so much time here that it was impossible to go. Do you have a workout tape or have you downloaded or learned some of the excerises that are on Spark? Maybe just doing a few of those will get you started. Sometimes you have to make yourself...I know that the last time I was at the gym I wanted to leave throughout the first twenty minutes. But I didn't. Put on some music and start dancing if nothing else. emoticon

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STEPHANIEIL 4/7/2009 2:32PM

    You should also know that you are not alone. I also struggle with this, quite often. The reality is - the hardest part of working out is starting. If I just START to workout, then I get in a pretty good workout - but motivating myself to just start... is the hard part.

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SCHWINNER! 4/7/2009 1:09PM

    Have you thought about trying morning workouts or scheduling them into your day? I make a lunchtime workout a regular thing. I rarely get up early enough for a morning workout, but sometimes those work well because you get it done and out of the way for the rest of your day.

Keep with it, try different routines - you'll find what works for you! Good luck!

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STACEYX5 4/7/2009 1:03PM

    At least you realize it. When I am having an off day I just remind myself how I feel about myself when I don't do it and I actually let myself feel those feelings. I ended up doing 30 minutes of cardio at 10:30 last night because of that! Then I felt all empowered cause I did it and it felt great!
You can do this! I know you can!

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Uh oh

Friday, March 27, 2009

So I had a little binge. It really wasn't bad compared to what I've been known to do but still the problem behind the eating was there. I've figured out that my biggest trigger lately is frustration. It used to be anger, sadness and loneliness but since those things aren't such a part of my life anymore, now its this frustration thing. I was frustrated with how both my husband and son were acting and was feeling overwhelmed. When they left to take the dog for a walk, I poured myself 2 big bowls of cocoa krispies and shoveled it into my mouth faster than I could swallow it practically. I was seriously set to pour myself a 3rd bowl but something inside me cried out to STOP!! I'm learning day by day and I'm thinking that instead of beating myself up over this loss of control that I should be happy with myself that I was able to stop without too much damage. I really, really hate that I have to fight this feeling!!!! Anyway, I tracked the cereal and milk. In the past if I was tracking food or whatever I would just "forget" to write down my binge food so that when I looked over my day's food intake it looked nice and normal - I didn't want the reminders staring me in the face. One thing I've come to learn is that I have to be honest with myself or else I'll never beat these food demons. So yeah... I think I'll just focus on the good parts that came out of this little episode of mine and move on.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALRAD59 3/27/2009 10:25PM

    I am so proud of you for recognizing what you were doing, accepting it, tracking it, writing about it and moving on! It takes a very strong person to be able to do that and you my dear are a VERY strong person!! You are doing awesome on this journey and you WILL succeed!!!! Keep up the great work!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/27/2009 10:26:49 PM

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STEPHANIEIL 3/27/2009 8:40PM

    That's fantastic! Focus on the good - the bad will only drag you down, and who needs that! I think you did great to get control of yourself when you could have said "too late now" but it wasn't! and you recognized that! Great Job!!

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Back again...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Okay so I'm already back but I'm having a bit of a hard time so I figured I'd just write about it so I can deal with it better. Soooo, I had this really delicious midafternoon snack (deep chocolate vitatop and 1 T. natural pb 190 calories)...good, right? Yes BUT it was so delicious that I want another one...NOT because I'm physically hungry or anything but just because it tasted good. One of the top things I've been learning in my emotional eating program (shrinkyourself.com if interested) is that its very important to learn to eat for no other reason than to give your body the nutrition it needs. Now, this sounds kind of scary at first cuz I use food for EVERYTHING, including just eating and eating and eating just because something tastes so good amongst a million other reasons. But, the more I thought about it, the more sense it makes. Food is not entertainment...food is not a comfort blanket...food is not a friend or a lover...food is not life! Anyway, I think I've blogged my way through this little hurdle! Now its time to leave work and chalk up another point scored in my battle against emotional eating.

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So happy :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I am just so excited that I am taking this journey with a group of AMAZING women!!!!!! Its so important to have support and a cheering section and I have the best! Positive energy surrounds me and for that I'm eternally grateful because its this energy that has kept me propelling along in my quest for a happier, healthier, thinner me. Along with the inspiring and motivational people I have connected with on Spark, I'm also very lucky to have Sara, Stacey, Mom, Tony, Rebecca and Janel. I'm toasting a big glass of sparkling water to these beautiful ladies (and one super hot man)! Seriously, my chest feels like its gonna burst with happiness...haha can ya tell?


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILL3773 3/30/2009 10:32PM

    Ohhhhh sissy! I'm so very glad to have YOU too in this journey! I will always be oh-so-very proud of you and I know that before I can say SPARK MY FATASS INTO SHAPE you'll be a sexy little slice with a hot bod ;) Ps we have the same Final Goal! Tattooooooooooos for everybody! :) Pss the emoticons make this that much more fun, I'm glad we utilize them!

Kisses!

sjm

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