Friday, September 05, 2014
It seems like I have typed that so many times that I should be ashamed. But the truth is giving up is what I should be ashamed of.
After losing a good amount of weight and running 5k, 10k and a HM...
After knowing all the hard work I put into the accomplishments...
I still gave up and gained most of my weight back.
It started with my knees bothering me when I ran. It got to the point that I could not do a simple mile without having to give up. And that made me GIVE UP. I LOVED running so much that I felt that if I could not do it that what was the point in working so hard.
I know, I know, I know.... I told myself over and over that I should not let my success be dependent on one thing, but I loss that battle. I tried to get into other things like biking or just walking but nothing could motivate me.
So here I start again. Well actually I started 8/4. My daughter has been asking me for 2 months to help her with a meal plan and slimming down. And trust me I know the drill. I have done it a few times. But my mine just was not there. It's like an addiction. If you are not ready to kick the habit it not going to happen for you. So I finally gave in and decided to start. Why:....I have been sewing for myself all summer and decided I was tried of having to cut the pieces so big. I want to be able to make the smaller dresses and buy less fabric. It's not the best reason, but it got me going.
Of course when I decided to do this SP was the first place I thought of. I did look into MyFitnessPal but it just does not have the same feel to me.
I believe being here, blogging, tracking, following challenges, talking to others and making new friends will make a difference.
And who knows I may be able to build my strength back up to jog again. I have been reading up on what needs to be done to keep my knees healthy and strong and I plan to focus on that. And I truly truly truly hope I will be able to run again. Even if it's just 5ks I will take it. Running was just so good for my mind, body and soul.
Wish me luck.
I've been gone a long time, but I hope to be able to find some of my old friends and look forward to making new ones.
Right now my goal is....SMALL STEPS... to get the REAL ME BACK
Thursday, November 18, 2010
McDonalds Half Marathon
I am sitting here wondering where I begin. There is so much on my mind it’s hard to get it all out.
The half marathon dream started in October 2009. I was coming to the end of the C25K program and was starting to look around for my very first race. At that time I was starry eyed for doing my first 5k. I was constantly looking online and through the SP running team threads asking questions and getting advice. I can remember reading member’s signature section and seeing all the HMs listed. I can remember posting that I don’t think I will ever be able to do that. Or, I am so far away from ever covering that much distance. But in the back of my head and deep down in my soul I was dreaming of being a HMer. I was hoping that some day I would get to have a medal (bling) around my neck. And thanks to all of my SP friends in my challenge groups and on my running teams that DREAM came true.
The week leading up to the race was nerve WREACKING. I was so ready to go that I had my bag packed on Monday to leave on Friday. I had been communicating with Mom2Alex2004 (Jill) for several months and as the days got closer we sent more and more emails. She helped to keep me grounded and let me know that I would do great; there was nothing to be afraid of.
When Friday came I was more than ready. I left my home around 6am and began my 4-1/2 hour journey. I was traveling alone, which if you know me was a big hurdle, but I was ready. Once I got to Richmond and was checked in at my hotel Jill came and picked me up for lunch. I was a little nervous about our first meeting face to face but she was wonderful. I can’t begin to tell you how open and welcoming she was to me. It felt like we had been friends forever. After lunch Jill took me on a tour of the HM route. This was a great way for me to prepare mentally and know exactly what to expect. The day of the race it was nice to know when to expect to turn and when any kind of hill was coming up. After the tour we went to the expo. There were a few times when I misted up getting my number and walking around, but all in all I held it together pretty well. I was more than a little excited to be able to buy the items that said “13.1” because I am now part of that wonderful group. I bought a magnet for my car, sticker, hat, and keychain all with my new title. The other fun part about the expo was getting to meet more sparkers. We got the opportunity to meet Health4lyfe and take pictures. We were also anticipating meeting LabLover but we missed her. It’s just so cool how running has changed my life. It’s has helped me lose weight; get through some stressful times; meet new friends online and face to face; and helped to break me out of my shyness. It’s not completely gone but I am more willing to put myself out there now because there is so much to gain from it. After leaving the expo we went back to Jill’s house where we had dinner and I got a chance to meet her husband and kids. IT WAS A GREAT DAY, WITH EVEN BETTER TIMES AHEAD.
The night before I thought I was going to have trouble sleeping, but after the adventure I had I was more than ready to go to bed by 10pm. I laid out all my running stuff, set the alarm clock in the room and set my phone alarm, just in case, and was out like a light. Jill was picking me up at 6am so I set both alarms for 5am. When the hotel alarm went off I turned it off and laid there waiting for my phone to do the same, but it didn’t. When I got up to check why I saw that the hotel clock had not been changed and it was actually 4am. UGH! Luckily I was able to doze off for a few more minutes before the brain decided it wanted to run at a million miles a minutes with thoughts of how everything will go. Me and Jill actually laughed about us both having dreams, the previous week, about mile 7. So that joke was running through my head first thing. So I was up, put myself together, ate my peanut butter on whole wheat sandwich and had ½ of a G2. I was so nervous I think I went to the bathroom 3 times before leaving that room. But I was ready and I was going to be strong, and then I got to the lobby and saw Jill and broke down crying. I was a little surprised myself. I had done so well the day before and then to just break down and start crying as soon as I saw her, it was surreal. It was at that moment I realized that I was really going to do this. I was going to run a HALF MARATHON. There was another lady from Illinois we met the previous day that was riding over with us also in the lobby. They both smiled and told me that it was going to ok and that I was going to have the best time of my life. They would be so right.
Getting to the event we parked a few blocks away from the finish line and started walking towards the start. It was COLD that early in the morning but it was a beautiful day. We all took pictures and walked around looking at the downtown sites. It was really nice having a hometown tour guide. After a trip to the potty and checking our bags we made our way to our wave. Jill had on shorts so she was really chilly and by that point my fingertips were freezing in my gloves. Also my toes and the balls of my feet felt like they were frozen. Talking to Jill earlier I told her that she did not have to stay with me. Since it was my first and that I would be doing run/walk intervals I did not want to hold her back. But she let me know she was here for me and that we were going to do this together (CRY). We were in wave 6, so when the first wave took off and we had to move up my stomach dropped a little. Then the next wave and then the next. When the wave in front of us took off my hands started to shake. We were next. I hugged Jill, took a deep breathe, started my music and then stepped across the starting mat into my DREAM.
The first 5miles passed by in a daze. I can remember it taking about 2-1/2 miles for my feet to defrost. I can remember talking to Jill. I can remember looking around at all the different people. Men, Women, Small, Heavy, Young, Old, Walking, Running…They were all there. I use to believe that only the “elite” ran half or full marathons. That it was a crime to even think about putting yourself out there if you were not skinny and did not run the entire distance. Oh how wrong my perspective was. Being on the course and seeing all the “athletes” was truly eye opening and awe inspiring. I was so proud to be part of that group. I was so into the environment and enjoying Jill’s company that I can’t even remember the first hour of music that played. I just did not hear it. I was in another world. AMAZING.
So when we first started we did a few 2:1 intervals to get my knees warmed up. We then increased to 3:1 to finish out the first half hour and after that we stuck with 4:1. This was a great pace and I could not believe how fast the 4min runs were passing. At home it would feel like forever, but there it was like every time I looked down the interval was over. I don’t think my head started to settle until we came into the park and passed the 10k split. I noticed mile 7 but I didn’t really acknowledge it at the time. We were on the back side of the loop through the park and there were a lot people out cheering you on and making noise. When we passed the 8 mile marker I looked at Jill and laughed. I told her we made it through the 7th mile strong and we are over halfway there. I found the perfect pace to settle into and told myself over and over “I can do this” that “I will do this”.
Miles 8 – 10 was where I started to feel a little discomfort in the back of my left knee. It was strange because it actually felt better when I was running then when I was walking. At that point I was rushing to get through the walking intervals. Jill was having trouble with her knee also so a few of the walks we extended to 2mins. I never really got tired or winded. I felt like if it wasn’t for my knees being sore then I could just keeping going. The good part was that there was so much activity on the back miles. There were tents with water, cookies, pretzels, cola and even beer. I pretty much kept to what I brought with me on my belt; G2, chewy granola bar and Gummie Bears (thanks Crystal). After crossing mile 10 I was in new territory. 10miles was my longest run to date. I blew that out of the water. I remember yelling 3 more to go. I remember all the people cheering and coaches saying, almost there, you are doing GREAT. Mile 11 was actually our fasted mile. Jill kept saying “can you feel the finish line pulling you in”. It was so exciting. The closer we got the more people were there cheering you on. At this point we weren’t really doing 4:1 intervals. We would run to a certain spot and break then run again. We took our last break a little over a half mile out. I looked at Jill and said “lets finish this” and we did. Coming down the final stretch we gave all we had passing some people and smiling all the way. I could see the finish line, it was RIGHT THERE. Right before we crossed the line Jill grabbed my hand, we threw our arms up and crossed the line together (CRY).
It was done. I DID IT… I AM A HALF MARATHONER!!!!!
(10k split 1:22:12)
Place: 5208 of 6605
Age: 527 of 573
Sex: 2992 of 3278
It was such an amazing feeling I can’t even describe it. I cried then, I am crying now just writing this out. I have come so far. This time last year I could barely run 30mins straight, but now I am a HMer. I have been hurt and suffered with pain in my hip and both of my knees which put me on the sideline, but I am a HMer. Life has gotten in the way many times but running has helped me get through the rough times. I have met and become friends with some of the most amazing and supportive people I will ever know because of SP. I KNOW for a fact that if I had not found SP and had everyone holding my hand along the way, I would not be here, I would have given up. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love and appreciate all of you.
I know this was long, but thank you for taking the time to relive this journey with me.
Here is a link to the photo slide show
Here are some pictures:
Packet Pick up (Jill tried to catch me crying - almost)
My 13.1 Gear!
Health4lyfe / Dreamrunr / Mom2Alex2004
Post race PRIDE
Post Race Dinner - YUM!
I can’t wait for the next one. I am already starting to plan. Right now it looks like Pittsburgh in March2011. There is a 5k and 8.1mile walk/run, HM and 30k. Guess which one I am doing? Wanna come along, let me know. It’s going to be a big meet with other Spark runners.
Making her dreams come true
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I have been trying to type this blog for a few days now, but something was holding me up. I think once I put it out to the world it makes the whole experience a little more real. I mean it was real when I registered, and it was real when I started training, it was even real when I suffered through injury during the training, BUT now it's REALLY real.
Each day that I get closer to running my first half marathon my heart beats a little faster and my hands shake a little more. I have pretty much kept everything in check by telling myself that I am prepared and that it's doesn't matter how long it takes to finish, as long as I FINISH. This experience is all about me and how far I have come. I don't need to prove anything to anybody but myself.
I am sooo looking forward to this entire experience. I have been to many running events but never as a HM participate. It just has a totally different feel to it. Things will actually be geared towards me the HMer. And I finally get my first medal. I am teary eyed already, so I know I am going to be balling when I cross the line. Jill will probably have to pick me up off the ground.
And that's another thing about running. I have had the pleasure of being on the board with so many new people. Runners, new and old, who have taken the time to help me and encourage me along the way. I have made so MANY new friends. I have met a few and continue to look forward to meeting more. I am already planning my next HM and SP runners meet.
I am strong....
I am positive....
I can do this....
I WILL RUN A HALF MARATHON!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
OK, so what happened to the weeks between week4 and week10? Well this strange thing called LIFE. So many things have happened since my last blog:
• My daughter left for college
• The twins started 7th grade
• My boss resigned and new one stepped in.
• My eating has gone from one extreme to the other.
• My duties at work have seemed to multiply with the shift of personnel.
• LIFE, LIFe, LIfe, Life, life!!!
So I am trying to take a deep breathe this morning, before my new boss sends me any emails.
But I can say that I have kept up with my running schedule, without much fanfare. I did miss one or two, or had to adjust my days a few times but I am pretty up to date.
This week I start week 10 of 16. So this means the miles are really about to grow. I am nervous. I am about to enter running mileage that I have never crossed before. To date my longest run is 7miles. This week’s long run is 7.5miles. And then I climb and climb and climb. I know I can do this. Last week was a cut back week (lower mileage for rest) and I found it strange that I struggled more with the 3mile runs than the 5miles. It’s like my body is saying “if you are going to do it, then DO IT”. So I am ready. Almost from the start of my running career I have been dreaming about this. Watching people I admire do the distance and cheer me on to complete it myself. Well its coming. And before you know it the 6 weeks will be over.
I am hoping that this clearing of mind and time is a sign of things to come. A sign meaning a little more breathing room.
My food has not been stellar but trust me it could have been MUCH worst. Seems like I have been in maintenance mode, and that is NOT where I want to be. So with my husbands help and my new 12 challenges I hope to get this in better order. I even joined my job’s 12wk BLC for a little extra kick. I have my week planned out for food and exercise. I am increasing my fruits and veggies and going to try and make sure I do 4-5 small meals a day. The snack breaks seem to help before. And of course I have to get back to the water. Now that it is cooling off it’s going to be harder but I have to make a commitment to myself.
Well that’s my update for now. If you stayed around, thanks for taking the time to check up on me. I really appreciate the support. It’s strange how sometimes when you need the help the most you drift away from the one source that can help you through. I am thankful to SP and all my friends. This time I got quiet, but friends helped me hold on until I could get a better grip. Previously this would have been the beginning of the end, but NOT THIS TIME!
DreamRunR – Jae
Still dreaming big (even on my feeling small days)
Here is an update picture of me, taken 9/4/10
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Pace for Prevention 5k
Wilmington DE Riverfront
It all started because I had an itch to do a race. I was clicking around on Friday through some of the sites that list races and saw that there was one the following day in DE. I had already run in DE so I could not update my map, but I had not run on the riverfront yet. I decided, why not? I called my husband to see if he had any plans and if he would take me to the race in the morning. Of course he was excited for me and said yes. The additional bonus was the after-race was sponsored by IronHill Brewery. Nothing like beer at 9:30 in the morning to get your day going right. (There is something really wrong with that previous statement)
Anyway, it was the perfect day to run. The weather as absolutely GOREGEOUS! I could not have asked for a better day to get my racing back on track. I registered when I got to the event and then just sat back and enjoyed the atmosphere. It was not packed but there was a nice crowd. The complex holds the stadium for a minor league baseball team, a few restaurants/bars and a couple business offices. Because it was pretty much self contained and there would not be a game till 6pm, we pretty much had the roads to ourselves.
Lined up and off we went. I did not push myself. I actually sat back and just enjoyed the fact that I was there. Like always I did look for someone to pace with that was close to or a little bit faster than me to keep me moving. I passed my family on the back side of the complex that has the riverfront. It was so nice to be running out in the open with the water instead of around and around my concrete area. After the halfway point I started the stalking and passing routine. Concentrating on someone ahead of me and trying my best to catch up and pass. This works for me because it keeps my mind busy and not focusing on how far I have to go. It also helps me naturally speed up. There was one lady that was pretty much in front of me most of the race and I sat back and waited for my time. I did catch up with her with less than a mile to go but she edged me out a little going around a corner and by speeding up. But once I saw the finish line it was over. I really pushed myself and passed her and a few other people getting to the line. I wish I would have started that a little earlier, and then I could have had a sub34min run. But I am happy. I am getting closer and closer to 30mins. Considering that I am just coming up on my 1year running anniversary; I fight with my knees at times and I am getting ready to turn 40; I think I did pretty dang good! Plus my avg pace was under 11:00, barely, but I get to claim it. I am super excited about that.
Results: New 5k PR
After the race IronHill had a small buffet out of mini bagels, Danishes, fruit salad, etc. I did not have beer, but I did have a few mimosas. That’s oranges, so it’s healthy, RIGHT? We stayed for the medal ceremony and then headed on home.
All in All it was a wonderful day. Thank you for sharing it with me. Here are a few pictures.
Making her dreams come true
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