Friday, December 21, 2007
I am an emotional basketcase tonight. I can't even begin... Do the holidays mess with everyone, or I am just "special"? And I am well aware that I don't have it that bad--it just doesn't seem like it right now. And I have no idea what I am doing over the next several days.
Friday, December 14, 2007
It's a Friday morning, and today is supposed to be the nicest weather of the next week. Snow is supposed to come through tomorrow, but they are usually wrong. All I know is that if it is cold and nasty, I am stuck indoors again. I can't take this lack of daylight anymore. I hate to wish time away, but I am so looking forward to December 21, when at least the days start to get longer instead of shorter. Either that, or I need to get to a southern state soon!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I'm not much of a blogger, but I decided to give it a try. I haven't been working out like I should, and need to do something about it. I just don't know what! I can't moitvate myself to be active. I feel like I am always busy but can't figure out with what. Does anyone else get like this? Is it just because it's winter and dark before I get home--therefore, I can't go out for a quick walk...
I don't know, but I'd love suggestions!~
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I just posted this on a thread, and thought it would be appropriate for my blog too.
I am in a healthy weight range--high end, maybe. I have high cholesterol (hereditary) and high good cholesterol, too. I am fit--exerecise regularly. But I snack, and select bad foods, all the time. I don't thing it is entirely tied to emotions--except that when I am truly sad, I am just not hungry. But unless I am in strict, deprivation mode, I can't help eating those things that are not good for me. I try to control it--measure a half cup of low fat ice cream in a small cup, instead of just scooping into a bowl, for example. I want to stay healthy, because I see that people who never worked out (even if they controlled their weight) have more trouble getting around as they age. And as my grandmother is in her 90's, I will probably have a long way to go!
The biggest plus for me is that I start each day fresh, and don't let yesterday's "mistakes" get me down, or want to throw in the towel. My lowest weight since high school was 135 in my mid 20's. I am 36 now and hover between 140-145. This time of year, it's easily 145, and I fight to keep it there. My biggest fear is letting my guard down and getting back to the 160's like in college (158 was the highest number I ever admitted to, though). I am scared that once I hit the 150's again, its just going to keep going, but I don't know what else I can do and still enjoy life. Winter is the hardest for me--I don't gain at the holidays. Its usually February, March and April. I am so grateful for any warm day I can be outsisde and moving, like yesterday. And I keep telling myself this winter, it won't happen. And some years I've held it off. But then, at the end of April, I am up 5, 8 pounds. I want to get back to 140 and maintain it. It DOES make me hope that sanity is right around the corner...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I am new to this journaling thing, and I don't know if I will stay with it, but it seems like it's worth a try. I am not strictly trying to lose weight here. I was at a point that I had gained about 10 pounds from the thinest I'd been since junior high. I was about 135 in my mid 20's. Now I am in my mid 30's and the scale kept inching up. Instead of being content with "just" gaining 5 pounds, it had become 10, and I noticed that it didn't bother me if one day it was 12 or 13. Then one day it was 15, and I had always said I didn't want to be over 150 again. I had been over 160 in college (I don't know how much--I always kind of blocked it out), and now I wasn't feeling great. I love to be active, but I found my energy level had dropped; I hated to get out of bed in the morning, and I wasn't doing the things I enjoy. So I decided to make a major lifestyle change.
I want to get leaner, develop better muscle tone, be able to ride harder and faster on my bike, start swimming again, maybe try another triathlon. (I completed a sprint in 2004 and loved it, but haven't been motivated to sign up for another one since.) So this is about motivation. The change in eating habits is not about losing weight--its about all those other things. My clothes fitting better (or fitting AGAIN) is just a bonus.
I can't "diet" in the traditional sense, because I always "fail." By just tracking what I anm eating, and making healthier choices, I can't "cheat" because nothing is "forbidden." Yes, everyone has seen those words associated with diets. I have been known to GAIN weight while dieting. Even though I don't eat a lot of unhealthy foods anyway, I am learning smarter choices when eating out.
And most importantly, I am execising like a fiend. I have started strength training regularly, in addition to Curves 6 times a week, and at least one other cardio activity most days. I average 2 workouts a day, but I am enjoying it. And I try to get as much variety as I can. I cycle (indoors and out), walk, run, take a water running class, ride horses, and will start swimming laps again soon. My speed on the bike has been improving on my trainer. Not much, but enough to feel like it is worth it. I'll have to try one of my standard outdoor routes to get a comparison.
weigh-wise, I started tracking what I was eating when the scale hit 148. I had returned from vacation a month before, proud of the fact that I maintained the 143 that I was at the beginning of a 3 week trip. And in that month, I stopped worrying, and put on pounds quickly. For the first few weeks, I just tracked, and got back to 144. And then I got serious. And gave away my scale. Yes, the scale I'd been weighing myself on daily since college. The one I KNOW is three pounds under any other scale in the world. So you can add 3 pounds to any number you've seen here today. And I try not to weigh myself anywhere else. However, I am going to be bad about something, let it be getting on a scale. I have checked it out at Curves, and I think I am down about 10 pounds. I know my clothes look and feel better, but I haven't needed to shop yet, although some are just too big now. I have a couple of dresses that are my "goal" since I can't use numbers.
And that where I stand now.
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